Mighty to Save

Sophia's First Snow!

2011-12-10T06:26:00.000-06:00

We had a light dusting of snow on Monday morning so I bundled Sophia up in her snowsuit and we headed outside to experience the wonder of those tiny white flakes. The snow lasted just long enough to snap some pictures of Sophia "playing". She would laugh when the snowflakes hit her in the face and she even tried to catch a few on her tongue. Just wait baby girl...you've got a long winter full of snow ahead you!

We're Still Here!

2011-11-21T13:57:00.000-06:00

Picture from Kaila and Ryan's Wedding November 12, 2011

It's been three months since I've managed to crank out a blog post but I thought I'd pop in and tell ya'll that we're still here and doing well. We've just been incredibly busy and seriously lacking sleep. I'm planning on moving our blog to make it private in the coming weeks so that I can start fresh with blogging in the new year. Somehow I'm hoping that the new year will equate to more sleep and more free time - wishful thinking, perhaps? I hope not. None the less, we're doing well and Sophia is about to celebrate her nine month birthday! She's on the move and into EVERYTHING! I promise updates soon. Until then, have a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy the holiday season :)

Six Months

2011-08-23T07:00:00.004-05:00

Before our church picnic with daddy on Sunday

It's hard to believe that half of a year has already passed with Sophia Grace in our lives. Today marks Sophia's sixth month birthday and oh my goodness has she grown and changed in the past six months! Every day I'm reminded of how blessed I am to be her mother and each day I continue to be in awe of the joy she has brought to our lives.

Sophia has developed such a strong, fun personality. She loves to laugh and has the sweetest little giggle. Tickle her toes or play silly games with her and she'll roar and roar. She gives so many smiles now and it's so much easier to catch them on camera. She can be quite the little ham sometimes. She loves all the attention she gets when we're out in the public - if she could have it her way she'd ride around in the shopping cart all day entertaining everyone with her giggles and smiles.

Sophia has two cute little teeth right in the middle of her bottom gums and she's working on a few more, including her top center teeth. She's a big bucket of drool all the time and has taken a fancy in eating her bibs. Everything goes in the mouth. I mean everything! She loves to eat and if her food doesn't come fast enough she'll gnaw on her high chair tray or buckle. She looks like a little bird when she eats - her tongue is always sticking out, waiting for the next bite. We can't shovel the food in fast enough sometimes. Sophia LOVES veggies...in fact, she loves her veggies so much that it's been a battle to get her to eat fruits. I've been making all of Sophia's baby food and I'm really enjoying it AND I love that I know exactly what's in it. Sophia especially loves carrots, sweet potatoes, zucchini, butternut squash, and green beans. The only vegetable she's not overly thrilled about is peas and I can't say that I blame her. We're working on getting Sophia to eat more fruits...she'll eat pears, melon, and blueberries if mixed with her multigrain cereal or oatmeal. Sophia really dislikes apples unless they're mixed with apricots - who would've thought! I'm looking forward to introducing her to dairy and meats in the coming weeks. It'll be nice to give her more options and it will be fun to explore more recipes to make for her.

Sophia is so close to crawling and it makes this mamma a little nervous! In the past few days she's started pushing up on all fours and rocking. She'll crawl backwards but fall on her belly when she tries to move forward. She scoots on her belly across the room in a matter of seconds. She sits up on her own like a pro now. She could play for hours with her Taggies ball and she'll often laugh to herself when playing. Her little feet finally touch the ground when she's in her jumper and she's starting to get the hang of how it works. She's continually exploring the world around her and it's so much fun to watch her learn. Sometimes I swear you can see the little wheels spinning in her brain - she's taking everything in! I've started signing to her in hopes that in a few months she'll start signing back. So far we sign "more", "eat", and "all done". We're working on talking - I'm working on "mamma" while Dave's trying for "dada". I'm thinking her first word will be something completely random we aren't even sure we've said around her.

This is certainly my favorite age so far. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could do without the newborn stage again. I like that Sophia is interactive now and that she smiles and laughs. I am so thankful for the time that I have home with Sophia now. I'd hate to miss all of the little precious moments of her life because she's growing up so fast!

Unmotivated

2011-08-03T20:05:00.006-05:00

That pretty much sums up my attitude towards blogging lately. I promised myself when Sophia was born that I was going to keep blogging for the simple fact I don't want to forget anything about Sophia's baby days. I've started so many posts over the past month to document so many special things - Sophia's first trip to Door County, her first visit to the pool, her first tooth and sitting up on her own, turning five months old - the list goes on. Somehow they don't get finished. I think I'm feeling rather un-inspired on the writing front...perhaps I'm just suffering from one long stint of writer's block. Either way, I apologize for the silence and I'm sure I'll pull myself out of this blogging funk soon. Until then, I'll leave you with some new pictures of a certain little cutie :)

Independence Day Celebrations

2011-07-07T20:23:00.010-05:00

We celebrated Sophia's first Fourth of July with a fun and busy weekend full of activities!

We kicked off our celebrations with a family get-together at my parents' house on Saturday. Sophia enjoyed spending some extra time with grandma, grandpa, and the rest of the gang. When the sun went down we headed to see the fireworks. Sophia fell asleep right before the big show started and slept through all the action. It still amazes me how the littlest noises at home can startle her yet she sleeps through the continuous boom of a fireworks display.

Sunday we enjoyed some family time at home - we went to church, took a long walk, and tested out Sophia's new fishy pool in the backyard. After realizing our air pump didn't fit the pool, Dave resorted to blowing it up the old fashioned way, leaving Sophia and I hanging in our pool wear far too long for Sophia's liking. By the time we got around to swimming she was ready for a bottle and nap and wasn't too interested in swimming.

We celebrated the Fourth with the Cedarburg parade followed by some food and music at City Park. Sophia was so tired from all the waiting around for the parade to start, she fell asleep right as the action was beginning. Of course she slept through all the loud noises again - the firetrucks, marching bands, gun salutes, and screaming children running around us collecting all the candy. She finally woke up towards the end and loved watching all the action, especially those smelly horses that left their business on the road right in front of us.

I look forward to next year's Fourth of July celebrations when Sophia will be running around and enjoying the parade, fireworks, and everything red, white, and blue!

Four Months

2011-06-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

It's as if we blinked and all of a sudden Sophia was four months old. Every day our baby girl grows just a little bit bigger and she reminds us that her days as a baby are numbered. Sophia wants so badly to be a big girl these days. She's spent the past few weeks mastering some new skills and reaching some important milestones. I feel so thankful to be working part-time now so that I can spend some time at home with her...she changes every day and I can't stand the thought of missing out on watching her grow.

Sophia still has those big ole' cheeks that are absolutely perfect for kissing. At her four month check-up yesterday she topped the growth charts weighing in at 16 pounds, 13.5 ounces. Yep, my baby girl sure loves to eat! But no worries, she also topped the height chart measuring nearly 26 inches in length. Our pediatrician is confident that her baby rolls will start to disappear when she's up and walking and she'll end up being tall and skinny like her daddy. And while she's certainly a daddy's girl, Sophia is starting to take on her mommy's looks. She has beautiful big blue eyes and her hair has gotten so light. She's finally starting to grow more hair and it gets curly after she takes a bath. I think we're going to have a blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty on our hands!

Sophia is not only growing nicely but her developmental skills are right on track. Sophia is now rolling over in both directions. She'd been rolling from her belly to back since about 8 weeks old and for the past two weeks has been rolling from her back to her front. Now she's just a rolling machine! We can't leave her alone for even a few seconds on her playmat anymore because she'll roll herself right on over, again and again. Not only is she rolling but she's scootin' too! Yesterday I walked away for just a few minutes to get a bottle ready and I came back to find her halfway across the living room floor, still in scootin' action. Poor girl's gonna get rug burn real bad until she learns how to crawl. Our pediatrician said she wouldn't be surprised if she's up and crawling by the time we come in for her six month check-up. My mom reminds me that I also liked to do everything early, too. Our pediatrician also confirmed that Sophia is teething. We can feel one tooth just under the surface on her bottom gums but there's no telling when it'll finally break through. Sophia's been drooling buckets for almost a month now and everything goes into her mouth - her hands, Sophia the giraffe, teething rings, bibs, mamma's fingers...you name it, she'll chomp on it. Sophia's one big smiling machine these days and she even giggles, too! She loves sitting up like a big girl in her Bumbo and is even starting to sit up on her own for a few seconds. She loves reading books and going for walks. She finds it especially funny when mommy huffs and puffs as I push her up the big hills in the neighborhood. She really is just a happy baby!

Sitting pretty in the Bumbo

Testing the new highchair

Rolling Machine

We celebrated a few "firsts" in the past month, too. Sophia visited the zoo for my company's employee picnic, we celebrated Dave's first father's day, and she had her first taste of rice cereal and oatmeal. She also got to spend some time with her Godmother, Kelsey, who came in from Madison for a little Strawberry Fest action. Kelsey also happens to love to take pictures so we captured a few updated family shots. Sophia and I have been spending a lot of quality time together on my days off and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I always knew that she'd grow up fast but I certainly didn't think it would be this fast!

First Zoo Trip

Father's Day

Rice cereal!

First Cedarburg Festival

Silly Faces

2011-06-06T13:12:00.000-05:00

Sophia will be 15 weeks on Wednesday and it still amazes me what a big girl she's become. She has become a highly animated baby. My favorite thing about Sophia now is the silly faces she makes. She really likes to interact with people and she will always tell you exactly how she feels by the look on her face. What's even more amazing is her ability to changes facial expressions by the second. Take these pictures for example...all taken consecutively over the span of 30 seconds. Sorry the quality is so poor - they are appearing especially dark when uploaded onto Blogger!

I promise to blog some more updates soon...life is certainly exciting at the Irish house these days, it's just a matter of finding the time to document all of our happenings!

Calling All Mommies!

2011-05-25T07:38:00.001-05:00

One of the most difficult parts of being a new mom is knowing what brands to trust when it comes to baby gear and other important baby-related items. I already look back on the past three months and think about some of the purchases we’ve made that had we been veteran parents, we may have registered a bit differently. We switched baby bottles after realizing our Lifefactory glass bottles were leaving Sophia extra gassy thanks to too many bubbles and too much air getting in during feedings (although they will be put to good use because they can easily be turned into sippy cups for when she’s older). I wish we would have done more research when it came to picking out a carseat because I’m finding our Graco Snugride35 a bit cheap – the protective visor lets in too much sun (why do they put a window opening on top of those things??) and it leaves most of her body exposed, even with the bottom protector on. I would have invested in one of those really nice baby swings that I swore were just way too ridiculously expensive. I also would have purchased a nice bassinet instead of using the “napper” attached to our Pack N Play (although Sophia did really like the vibrating aspect of the napper…she just outgrew it too quickly!). Now that we’re moving beyond the newborn stages into infancy, I’m beginning to do some research on some of our next purchases. I’m looking for some input and advice from fellow mommies (and daddies) on what may have worked (or not worked) for your kids to help guide our selections.

First up: the high chair. We purposefully didn’t register for one when we found out we were expecting. I feel like this is one of those purchases that I wanted to wait on for the simple fact that Sophia wouldn’t need it for a few months and we wanted to be sure we got more of the items we really needed in the earliest months. Also, we knew there was a possibility we’d be getting a new kitchen table prior to her using the high chair so we wanted to wait and see what we could accommodate. We’re still waiting on the table but I have a pretty good idea as to what we’re looking for. I go back and forth between getting a full high chair or one of the “me too” chairs that attach directly to the table. Perhaps we’ll end up with both as she grows!? So I’m looking for suggestions on favorite brands, features, or anything else I should be looking for when it comes to selecting a high chair.

Second up: brand of rice cereal. We’re hoping to start Sophia on rice cereal when she’s four months so we have just a month to go! I have been doing so much research on different brands and talking with fellow mommies about their favorites. I’m particularly interested in whether certain brands cause extra gas or extra spit-up since Sophia appears to have a sensitive stomach. I’m looking at organic brands and those that might be readily available at local stores (think Target, Walgreens, Pick N Save). Anyone have experience with rice cereal? Do you have any recommendations on feeding gear (bowls, spoons, etc.) that we should have on hand as we dive into the world of rice cereal, oatmeal, and homemade baby food?

Third up: baby sign language resources. I am so excited to start signing to Sophia and for her to begin to understand the signs and sign back. I think it’s incredibly helpful when babies can communicate their needs and research shows that using sign language as an infant and toddler helps improve verbal skills as well. Research suggests that infants can begin signing back as early as 6-8 months but they can actually begin learning the signs much sooner so we’re preparing to start signing in front of Sophia. Our childcare center also uses sign language and since Sophia will be there two days a week so we’ll also be teaching her grandmas (who will also share in childcare responsibilities) and other caregivers the basic signs so that Sophia can have consistency. With that said, I’m looking for good baby sign language resources – there are so many out there and I have a few that come recommended on Amazon but I trust personal experiences more. Has anyone used baby sign language? Any books, websites, or videos you recommend?

I’m sure this is the first of many times I’ll be soliciting advice from fellow mommy readers so I appreciate all the input and suggestions you may send my way!

Playing Catch-Up

2011-05-22T18:42:00.001-05:00

Suddenly my life seems so incredibly busy. I suppose having a baby and returning to work has a little something to do with it. Nonetheless, I find it hard to find time to blog these days. Since I don’t want to forget any of the special memories happening these days, here’s a little recap of the past few weeks (this will likely be incredibly long and include far too many pictures :) ).

Mother’s Day Weekend
I felt so incredibly blessed to be celebrating Mother’s Day this year as a mommy…as Sophia’s mommy. I cannot describe the amount of joy she has brought to my life. It’s true that you cannot understand a mother’s love until you actually become a mother. Every day I feel this overwhelming love and gratitude for Sophia and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. Becoming a mom has also caused me to look at my relationship with my own mom in a new way – I have a deeper sense of appreciation for everything she’s done for me throughout my life. I love watching her relationship with Sophia grow. Sophia is absolutely smitten with her grandma and it makes me smile every time the three of us get to spend time together. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful example of what motherhood is all about and I strive to be as good a mom as my mother has been.

Our Mother’s Day celebrations were a bit crazy this year. My mother’s day celebrations actually kicked off on Friday with Mother’s Day tea and dessert at my great grandma’s nursing home. It was a special celebration with my mom and aunts. Saturday, we enjoyed some time with Dave’s grandma who was visiting from Arizona. It was her first time meeting Sophia, who slept through our lunch downtown Cedarburg. On Sunday, we had lunch with Dave’s family and Sophia got to meet her Aunt Katie who flew in to visit from Peru that day. We then celebrated with my family at a family cookout. I felt like I didn’t really get to savor the day with my daughter this year as we ran between visiting our own mother’s and as other people shuffled Sophia from one set of arms to another. Having a baby makes you pause and re-think how you spend those special occasions in your life. I told Dave that next year I’d like to spend a quiet day, just the three of us. I think it’s time we start our own family traditions, especially as we celebrate our first holidays and special occasions together.

Returning to Work
My maternity leave came to an end last Tuesday and reality set in as I headed back to work. Throughout the week prior to my return I began feeling awful anxiety and I think I had convinced myself the day really wasn’t ever going to come. I wondered if anyone would even notice if I didn’t come back. Unfortunately, my boss was expecting me and I did return. My feelings of anxiety have only multiplied and I find myself unable to concentrate most of the day. My days thinking about diaper changes, feedings, and tummy time have quickly been traded for court hearings, case files, and wait lists. I am thankful that my parents took last week off to care for Sophia while Dave and I were at work. Had she headed straight to daycare I don’t think I would have made it through those first few days. Dave is now home with her for three weeks and they’re enjoying their daddy-daughter time together. There were lots of tears the first couple of days and I still feel those terrible feelings of guilt but I’m finding a little peace knowing that she’s at home with daddy. I will admit, I never thought I’d want to be a stay at home mom but suddenly I have this overwhelming urge to walk straight into my boss’s office and quit. No worries, I’m good at controlling that urge….for now anyways.

Special Visitors
Sophia got to meet both her Aunt Katie and Great Grandma McAvoy in the past few weeks. She also had a special visit from her Godmother, Kelsey. I think she enjoyed seeing some new faces...it must get pretty boring staring at mommy and daddy's faces all day (and night) :)

Three Months
Tomorrow marks Sophia Grace’s third month in this world. She continues to grow and change daily. I’m guessing she’s around 14 pounds now and she’s probably close to 25-26 inches long. She’s just this little chunky monkey who loves to eat and play. She has a beautiful smile and big blue eyes. She is holding her head up on her own and loves sitting in her Bumbo seat. She was doing so well with sleeping until I headed back to work…now she’s giving me a run for my money, waking every few hours. Each night is a little different but we’re quickly learning that Sophia much prefers to be awake and appears to have this fear that if she closes her eyes she’ll miss something terribly important. Dave’s goal for his time off with her is to get her on a consistent napping schedule – so far he’s having better luck than I ever did. Sophia falls asleep much faster in her daddy’s arms than mine…I think she’s already becoming a daddy’s girl. Sophia enjoys going for walks now that it’s getting nicer outside. She’s met a lot of our neighbors who were surprised to learn we had a baby – apparently I hid my pregnancy well over the winter months. Sophia got hit on by her first boy last night, our friend’s five month old son. I’m convinced they were flirting in their cute little baby talk. He may just be one of the few boys Dave approves of her dating in the future. Sophia’s the most smiley in the morning and giggles when she’s super happy. She's starting teething and can often be seen with her hands in her mouth and a sloppy pile of drool rolling down her chin. My favorite thing...Sophia really knows who her mommy and daddy are and it makes my heart melt every time she looks at me with her beautiful big eyes. She’s just such a joy to us and I’m learning to savor every little minute that I have with her.

Two Months

2011-05-03T10:14:00.008-05:00

Sophia turned two months old on the 23rd and we visited the doctor last Monday for her check-up. It's amazing how much she's changed in the past month alone. She's gotten soooo much bigger. She was 12.5 pounds at her check-up (up about 4 lbs from her one month visit) and nearly two feet long. She's a healthy baby girl who certainly loves her food! Perhaps the biggest change is her sleeping, as in she is finally sleeping through the night (shouts of joy over here!!). She usually sleeps about six hours, wakes for an hour feeding, and sleeps another three hours. It happened all of a sudden, around 8 weeks old, after our sweet neighbor/friend stopped in for a post-bath, night-time visit and rocked her to sleep. After that, she began sleeping like a baby. I'm now convinced that Carol is secretly the baby whisperer :) Sophia is also much more interactive now. She loves the birdies on the mobile on her playmat and she loves looking at the pictures when we read her books. She absolutely loves having her diaper changed and is always super smiley while lying on her changing table. She has discovered her hands and now prefers sucking on them more than her pacifier (fine by me!). Sophia still has that strong, demanding personality - when she wants something she needs it immediately, which can be challenging when preparing a bottle. However, it does make it pretty easy to tell what she wants. She still usually only cries when she's hungry, needs her diaper changed, or is incredibly overtired. She likes to be in constant motion, usually kicking up a storm with her tiny feet (seriously, her feet are so small, not even the newborn sized socks fit yet). We've gone back to swaddling her up when she sleeps so that she doesn't wake herself up with all her movements! She's also at the age where she's developing stranger anxiety. She is certainly aware when someone she hasn't met or doesn't know well is holding her. Dave and I both get anxious when other people are holding her and she cries - we hate to hear those little cries! Plus, this momma has to head back to work next week (huge groan) so I much prefer to keep her close to me, soaking in every last minute of each day with her. I know she'll get to know her other caretakers pretty well in the coming months as she begins childcare and her days with her grandmas.

I'm still amazed every day at how much joy Sophia Grace brings to our lives. I always tell people that I can't remember what life was like before she came along. While the first eight weeks or so were certainly challenging as we adjusted to life with a newborn, and I had my moments where I doubted my abilities as a mother, I wouldn't trade my life as Sophia's mommy for anything. She's the greatest blessing we've ever received.

Eight weeks old

Eight and a half weeks old

Nine weeks old

Nine weeks old, enjoying the Belly Button book

Nine and a half weeks old, rocking the skinny white jeans her daddy picked out at Baby Gap (she's way trendier than her mommy)

First Easter as a Family of Three

2011-04-25T10:22:00.007-05:00

Sophia celebrated her first Easter yesterday and we celebrated our first real holiday (sorry, but I don't think St. Patrick's Day counts) as a family of three! The day started bright and early with our traditional brunch at my parent's church followed by church. We swung by grandma and grandpa Anderson's house afterwards to see what the Easter bunny left for Sophia - a big basket full of board books, a nice cuddly rabbit to go with her new Velveteen Rabbit book, and some cute new summer clothes. We had some generous Easter bunnies this year :) Since the weather was so nice we snuck in a walk at home in the afternoon before heading to Dave's parents house for Easter dinner. More books, clothes, and Easter treats awaited Sophia as did some cuddle time with her grandma. We enjoyed a delicious ham dinner and even got to skype with aunt Katie again in Peru. It was a wonderful first Easter! (And yes, there were a few minor wardrobe changes throughout the day, mainly the headbands and tights...somehow she managed to keep the rest of her outfit clean!)

Firsts

2011-04-18T08:45:00.007-05:00

Sophia has had so many "firsts" in the past few weeks that it's about time I start documenting before these little moments escape my memory. I realize some of these "firsts" are completely insignificant in the every day sense but to a mommy, they are all so very exciting. It's funny how what's important suddenly changes when you become a mommy :)

First Time Out to Eat

Sophia's Godmother, Kelsey, came into town the day before her baptism to spend some extra time with us. We met up with my parents who always enjoy a visit with Kelsey as much as we do for dinner at the Milwaukee Ale House in Grafton. While at dinner I realized that was Sophia's first time out at a restaurant! It was pretty uneventful as she slept through most of it. Thankfully Kelsey snagged a photo on her phone since this mommy didn't have a camera on her. Since then I've made our small digital camera a diaper bag staple so that we don't miss any special moments in the future.

First Roadtrip

Last weekend we headed to Kentucky to celebrate our friends Danielle and Jeremy's wedding. While we quickly learned that traveling with a baby is a lot of work (and requires a lot of stuff!!), Sophia did very well on the six and a half hour drive and we enjoyed our whirlwind of a weekend in Louisville. I wish I had taken more pictures while we explored downtown and at the wedding but I was a wee bit busy tending to a six week old on my own (Dave was busy doing wedding party stuff most of the weekend). Thankfully we got a family picture at the reception while we were all still dressed up!

First Smiles

Sophia has been smiling more and more over the past few weeks. It's absolutely beautiful. I especially love the middle of the night smiles that make those sleepless nights worth it. It's not always easy to catch the smiles on camera yet but I've managed to get a few out of her.

First time rolling over
I kid you not, at seven and a half weeks old, Sophia rolled from her belly to her back today (twice!) for the very first time. You can bet after she did it the first time I ran to get the video camera. I can't seem to get the video to upload so you'll have to trust me on this one. This was just another reminder of how fast she's growing up!

First Walk in the Stroller
I kick myself for not getting a picture of her all bundled up in her stroller for her first walk. It was a rather quick impromptu walk when Dave came home from work a few weeks ago. Wisconsin has graced us with a few spring-like days in the past couple of weeks and we've taken advantage of them. Sophia and I have since enjoyed a few walks on our own. I should actually call them workout sessions because pushing a jogging stroller with an infant carrier attached does wonders for the upper body and legs. I'm determined to walk off the last few pounds of baby weight I have left to lose.

First Skype Session with Aunt Katie
Okay, so this one might only be significant to Sophia's Aunt Katie in Peru but we finally broke in our computer camera and enjoyed a mini skype session. It was Katie's first time seeing Sophia other than in pictures. I must say, Skype is a fabulous tool and I wish I had discovered its usefulness sooner. While it was nice to see Katie "in person" through the computer we're looking forward to seeing her actually in person in just a few weeks when she comes back to the States for a visit and to meet Sophia. (We should've taken a picture of this Katie!)

Baptism

2011-04-12T13:25:00.002-05:00

I'm a week behind in my blogging...I just hate wasting time on the computer when I only have a few weeks left with Sophia Grace before heading back to work. I do want to make sure to document some of the important occasions and milestones in her life, however.

Sophia was baptized on April 3rd with many of our family and friends present. It was an absolutely beautiful day and one that was so important to Dave and I. Sophia wore my family's baptismal gown. She was the 33rd child baptized in the gown that my great grandfather first wore in 1913 when he was baptized in our church. The gown was especially beautiful to us because of this history. Both of Sophia's Godparents were present. I wish I had all the time in the world to share how special and beautiful her Godparents are to Dave and I. Choosing Godparents can be a daunting task but when it came to Kelsey and Jesse the choice was so easy and clear...they are perfect examples of what it means to live a Christ-like life and we look forward to the values they will help instill in our daughter. Kelsey even came in a day early for extra cuddle time with Sophia. They certainly did lots of bonding during this time and it was beautiful watching their relationship grow :) We were also fortunate to have Pastor Jon baptize Sophia. He has played an important role in our own faith journey throughout the past two years. Pastor Jon was there for us when we experienced our miscarriage and shared his own personal loss of two children with us. He continues to support us in parenthood and we have joined his small group Bible study where we have enjoyed getting to know the "non-pastor" side of him. He's helped us meet other younger couples and form new relationships with those who share similar interests and beliefs with us. We look forward to him being a part of Sophia's life as well as she grows in her Christian faith. It truly was a special and joyous occassion in our daughter's life.

Welcome to God's family Sophia Grace :)

The baptismal gown

Pastor Jon baptizing Sophia

Godparents - Kelsey and Jesse

Anderson Grandparents

Irish Grandparents

One Month

2011-03-27T19:06:00.002-05:00

I couldn't resist posting this one...this is exactly how she came into this world one month ago

We celebrated Sophia's first month of life on Wednesday. I wanted to wait until after our one month doctor's visit Thursday afternoon to share a little update about Sophia's first month.

Sophia now weighs nine and a half pounds and is just about 22 inches long. Our pediatrician says she's growing perfectly...she's even putting some weight on those scrawny little legs of hers! Dr. Miller looked at Sophia when she walked in the room and said how she looks like a true baby now, not that little newborn she saw just two weeks earlier. I can only imagine how much she'll grow before her two month check up!

Life with Sophia is slowly starting to become more routine. We have been able to get her on a more reasonable feeding schedule of about every two to two and a half hours instead of the every hour (especially during the night). She's sleeping more easily in between nighttime feedings (hallelujah!!) and is starting to let us put her down more when she sleeps. Although I will say, she is still incredibly stubborn and frequently will scream her little lungs out unless someone holds her while she sleeps. Her daddy enjoys spoiling her and gives her lots of cuddle time in the evenings :) Speaking of crying, Sophia is a rather content baby and really only seems to cry if she's hungry or has a dirty diaper. At either one of these times she demands attention immediately...and her food can never arrive at her little mouth fast enough. After a month of struggling to keep Sophia awake while breastfeeding (which contributed to her frequent nighttime feedings and our lack of sleep), we've learned that pumping and giving her milk in a bottle usually works best. She's even starting to grab onto the bottle while we feed her which makes us so proud. She's taking between three and four ounces at a feeding (such a little piglet!)... when her little belly is full we're all much happier. It only took us a month to figure that one out (hey, we're new parents!).

Sophia still isn't very interested in her bouncy seat or swing. She's most content in her car seat and she loves going for car rides. She loves lying on her back under her playmobile and watching the lights and mobile move. She's starting to enjoy tummy time more and more and is picking up her head. She has such strong muscles - she loves kicking. We're convinced she's going to be a great little athlete :) We read her lots of books and she loves looking at the pictures. Sophia is starting to smile although they appear randomly and are gone before I have a chance to grab my camera.

Sophia and I went to our first playgroup last week. She enjoyed being held by the other mommies and even spent some time on the floor with another little baby. It was such a nice time for me to chat with other moms, both new and veteran, about parenting challenges and what to expect in the coming months. This week we'll be going to a special class called "Brain Games for Babies" where I'll have a chance to learn new games to do with her to help with her development. I'm so thankful my mom's agency has all these wonderful free classes and groups - it's always nice to get out of the house a little each day. We're also busy preparing for her baptism next weekend.

We are completely in love with our little girl and continue to feel more blessed to have her in our lives. It's been a wonderful, exciting, sleepless, and sometimes challenging first month with Sophia Grace...we look forward to all the milestones and "firsts" that her second month of life will bring!

Supermom

2011-03-22T15:10:00.003-05:00

If Supermom were a real life action figure, I'd want to be her. I'd want a fancy cape with a big red "S" on the back and I'd most certainly want all the magical powers that came along with the role...you know, things like calming my crying baby with one gentle look, changing a diaper simply by wishing the foul poop smell away, putting a balanced dinner on the table with the twinkle of my nose, getting all the laundry done with the snap of my fingers, and closing my eyes for just five minutes and waking up feeling as though I've gotten a full night's sleep.

Yes. I wish I was Supermom. And a month ago I was convinced I could be. Unfortunately, I am not. And that became very apparent yesterday.

Anyone who has had a newborn baby enter their life for the first time knows the challenges that come along with the little bundle of joy. You get sent home from the hospital with this sweet little baby who you love more than anyone else in this world. You are prepared to do whatever is necessary to take care of this little baby and to make sure its life is absolutely perfect and that all of its needs are met. While I was still pregnant with Sophia, I imagined what life would be like with her these first few weeks and months home. I knew there'd be lots of diaper changes, lots of feeding, and very little sleep. What I wasn't prepared for was exactly how those seemingly dauntless tasks would affect me personally, both as a mom and as a human being.

Throughout the past (almost) month, I had managed to wear myself down to the point of pure exhaustion. Yesterday morning I realized I was more than just tired as everyone warned me I'd be with a newborn to take care. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually exhausted. Everyone around me had seen it coming and had noticed the gradual breakdown. I was determined to ignore it and go on thinking that I was Supermom. Certianly I could function on no sleep, isn't that what new moms were supposed to do? And who needs food anyways? I didn't want to admit that I was feeling overwhelmed. I felt like a bad mom. I felt so inadequate in my role as a new mother. I didn't want people to think that I couldn't handle taking care of Sophia. I watched as so many other moms around me went about their lives with their babies and they all looked so perky and wide-eyed. I wanted a strong dose of whatever they were taking to put a little spring in their step. But I digress...back to yesterday morning. Sunday night was the breaking point. Sophia slept for an hour and a half before deciding her time would be much better spent awake, camped out at my boobs for a good five hour long feeding. On and off she'd eat and nap, eat and nap. I'd attempt to lay her down during that napping period only to have her wake up as soon as her sweet little head hit the bassinet. I watched as Dave slept soundly, through all the crying and fussing. For eight hours he slept and slept.

When I woke Dave for work on Monday morning everything hit me. The fact that for nearly a month I hadn't gotten more than three hours of sleep in a night. The fact that Sophia eats like a bird, but a hungry bird who wants just a bit of food every hour. The fact that Sophia will only sleep if someone holds her. The fact that I absolutely dislike breastfeeding but am bound and determined to stick with it because it truly is what's best for her. All of these things combined together left my feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and so discouraged. Not to mention the fact that I stopped taking care of myself the moment Sophia entered the world. It's amazing how I went from this pregnant woman who couldn't stop eating to this new mom who couldn't remember the last time I ate something or had a drink of water. It wasn't until yesterday morning when I realized my milk supply was so low that I understood the importance of taking care of myself. All of this was enough to send the hormones raging and the tears a'flowing. This certainly wasn't the way I wanted to start my week.

I am so thankful I have a husband who is willing to put aside work and spend the day taking care of Sophia so that I could take care of myself. Dave spent yesterday working from home, holding Sophia in one arm and responding to emails and drafting documents with the other. I got nearly three solid hours of uninterrupted sleep in the morning. I ate a big lunch and pumped my body full of liquids. I napped on the couch while Dave fed Sophia bottles I had managed to store away. I even made it to the gym where after a nice long walk I felt refreshed. Dave even helped out with the night shift last night so that I could get longer stretches of sleep in. What a difference a day can make. My milk supply is already back up and I woke up feeling more energized and refreshed today. I think I may just have figured out what all those other mom's were taking - sleep and food! Such an easy remedy for an exhausted mama.

I absolutely love being Sophia's mommy. I love the simple things about life with her - even the diaper changes, the midnight feedings, and her fussy times when she lets out the sweetest cries. I know that every new mom has to adjust to this new routine... this new way of life. I know I'm not the first (or last) new mom to reach this breaking point of pure exhaustion. I realize now that it doesn't make me a bad mom. It makes me human. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's my right of passage into motherhood. Motherhood isn't always glamorous but it's always worth it - the good, the bad, and the downright challenging moments, too.

On closer look, I think all moms are Supermoms, just without all those fancy powers. We're all just trying to get by with little sleep, an ounce of sanity, a few prayers and some faith, and a whole lot of love.

3 Weeks & A Very Irish St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T10:05:00.001-05:00

Yesterday marked three weeks since Sophia's birth...oh how time flies!

Of course, with a last name like Irish, we just have to celebrate St. Patrick's Day today. Sophia received an adorable Ireland Rugby Jersey purchased for her in Dublin by our friend Sam. Oh how I wish I had a big old green bow to accessorize this outfit :) She also got a special 1st St. Patrick'd Day bib from her grandma Irish. While she usually hates when I put a bib on her, she sat still long enough to snap a few pics this time!

Oh so Busy

2011-03-15T14:24:00.004-05:00

Excuse the lack of blogging these days but life with a newborn is busy, especially with daddy back at work. So what exactly do we do all day long? Well, Sophia still eats about every two hours, she naps for about an hour in between, and of course I change about 12 dirty diapers a day (one for each feeding). In between all that eating, sleeping, and diapering we manage to get in some play time. Sophia is learning to love her swing and bouncy seat and I'm enjoying being able to put her down for a few minutes. She loves being held, especially when she's sleeping which makes for very unproductive days (if only the laundry could clean itself!). Sophia also enjoys a few minutes of tummy time each day on her zoofari playmat that her Aunt Katie got her. She enjoys spending some time on her back underneath the lights and toys on the playmat, too. When daddy comes home from work, Sophia enjoys having long conversations with him and telling him all about her day with mommy. She's starting to vocalize more - rather than having those soft baby coo's, Sophia has these rather loud grunts that let us know she's really content and really has something important to say.

Sophia continues to grow before our eyes. At her two week checkup last week she was already 8lbs 1oz and 21.5 inches long. She's still a little peanut but her cheeks are getting all nice and chubby so we're certain she's getting enough to eat. I already packed away her newborn clothes which made me a little sad but she has a whole closet full of clothes to grow into and growing she certainly is :)

As for me and Dave, we're managing. We're loving every minute we have with our sweet baby girl but we're definitely feeling the new parent syndrome. We're both exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed but we've been reassured that in the coming weeks life will settle down more and we'll feel more established in our role as parents. I will admit that Dave is the patient one, often coming to my rescue in the middle of the night when the sleep deprivation takes over and I just can't handle another minute of crying. He's been incredibly supportive and helpful - he even let me sneak out to the gym yesterday, a much needed break and mommy pick-me-up. We work well as a team and I am so thankful to have him. I have such a deep appreciation for single parents now - I don't think I could manage without him!

A few pictures of playtime with mommy...

Introducing Sophia to her crib

She's not so sure about this whole crib thing

Mommy and Daddy's bed has much more room than that crib!

She's always so curious

I love her content face

The First Two Weeks

2011-03-10T13:53:00.001-06:00

It's hard to believe that Sophia Grace is already two weeks old! I know every parent says that their kids grow fast but goodness, she changes on a daily basis. She's definitely gaining weight and growing longer by the day. She's finally settling into more of a routine of eating and sleeping which makes her mommy verrrry happy :) Anyways, now that I have a few minutes I wanted to share a little more about the past two weeks since Sophia's arrival, starting with her birth day.

Labor and Delivery
I really enjoyed being induced. I am so thankful for the way that everything turned out because I don't think labor and delivery could have gone any smoother. One of my biggest fears throughout my pregnancy, aside from something going wrong, was the actual labor and delivery part. I think every woman is fearful when it's their first. I can happily say that my labor and delivery with Sophia was quite easy, mostly painless, and rather quick. I've been told that I was blessed with a pretty easy delivery considering she was my first. We arrived at the hospital at 6am, started the Pitocin at 6:30am, broke my water at 8:30am, and started the epidural at 9:30am. I progressed rather quickly which caught us all off guard. I labored for an hour before getting my epidural - I had wanted to hold out longer, thinking that 5cm sounded like a magical number to finally beg for the epidural but my wonderful labor nurse, Sandi, told me that in her 28 years as a labor nurse she'd learned that there was no magic number. She told me it wasn't too soon to want comfort and I happily agreed. My mom and Dave were with me throughout the day and I'm sure they were happy to see the pain end when the epidural began working because I was a much happier and friendly person :) Sandi told us that she thought baby girl would arrive by 3pm so mom and Dave headed out to get some lunch quick before the final pushing stage began. We began pushing at 1:20pm and shortly after my doctor arrived. Another perk of being induced: you know your doctor will be the one delivering your baby. I absolutely love my doctor and she did a wonderful job of keeping me focused yet distracted during all that pushing. My mom helped me count my pushes while Dave provided the physical support while pushing. Nurse Sandi really does know what she's talking about when she makes predictions because at 2:54pm Sophia Grace finally arrived. It was all so surreal - I was mid-push when they told me to stop, open my eyes, and and meet my daughter. There she was with a head of dark hair, wailing away as she entered the world. It was a pretty remarkable moment and I'll never forget the overwhelming love I felt for her when they placed her on my chest. What happened after that is a bit of a blur. Everyone tended to Sophia as they cleaned her up while Sandi and my doctor tended to some bleeding complications I was having. Thankfully, all ended up well and I could finally enjoy some time with my new family.

Hospital Stay
We were fortunate to have delivered at an amazing birthing center where the nurses really did make the first few days of parenthood a lot easier. We were a bit overwhelmed at first with all the visitors and I was having a difficult recovery from the bleeding complications after delivery so having the extra help certainly was nice. We were hesitant to send Sophia to the nursery the first night but the nurses informed us that all the other babies were there as well and that we'd really want our sleep. They were absolutely right! We spent two days in the hospital recovering, getting to know our baby girl, and working with a lactation specialist. While we enjoyed our stay at the Columbia Center we were quite eager to get home when Friday afternoon rolled around. On our way out the door, the nurses said, "See you in a few years". We laughed. Let's just see how we do with the first one.

Coming Home
Walking into our house with Sophia for the first time felt incredibly surreal. Dave brought her in and put her carseat on the kitchen table and went back out to get the rest of our stuff from the car. I just stood there watching her for a few minutes before I burst into tears. Oh yes, the baby blues are a very real thing. Dave came in the house asking me what was wrong and I told him absolutely nothing...everything was so perfect now that she was home. I think we had a good first-time parent moment, crying over our sweet baby's car seat before reality set in that she was staying with us forever.

Settling In
We're still settling into life with Sophia. The days and nights go by far too quickly. She keeps us busy with all the diaper changes and the feedings. I wish I could say that I love breastfeeding and that it's going really well but the truth is that it is an incredibly difficult thing to master, for both me and Sophia. We're slowly starting to find a pattern in feedings and things are becomming easier. She's feeding nearly 12 times a day which keeps me busy (and leaves me feeling starved oddly enough) and sleeps in between (mostly). Sometimes she'll sleep as much as two hours between feedings, other times it's just an hour. I'll take what I can get! Dave has done a tremendous job of supporting me through the breastfeeding and helping out with extra diaper changes and lots of cuddle time in the evenings so that I can get an hour or two of sleep before the long night begins. Dave headed back to work this week which added a few challenges but Sophia and I are enjoying our time together, just us girls. I've attempted to venture out of the house with her on my own, making a quick trip to Target earlier in the week and yesterday to my mom's work where she spent some time while I went to the dentist. We've had so many visitors come meet Sophia, including both of her Godparents this past weekend. Overall, she's a pretty good baby. She certainly has a strong set of lungs on her but thankfully, they only come out when she's hungry or needs her diaper changed. She has her mommy's personality already but everyone says she looks like her daddy. Aside from my nose, she has mostly Dave's features at this point - his dark hair, his long skinny legs, his ears, and her face looks identical in shape to his when he was a baby. We can't wait to see how she changes as she continues to grow.

We certainly feel blessed each day we have with Sophia in our lives...it already feels like she's been a part of our family forever.

Life with Sophia

2011-03-07T13:38:00.004-06:00

Life with Sophia Grace is absolutely wonderful. I do wish I could add a few more hours to my days, however, so that I could write more. There is so much I'm eager to share about Sophia and the past week and a half with her and I promise I'll find the time in the coming weeks. Daddy headed back to work today and we're still trying to get Sophia on some sort of a schedule. Our days seem a bit chaotic at times and I'm not entirely sure where all the time goes but life at home with Sophia is absolutely wonderful and beautiful. She continues to grow before our eyes and she's developing such a sweet little personality. Sophia had quite the busy weekend, meeting both of her Godparents and venturing to church for the first time. We're looking forward to her two-week doctor's visit this week, celebrating her Grandpa Anderson's birthday, and having her newborn pictures taken. Speaking of pictures, here are a few recent ones of our sweetpea until I can post more.

Such a little snugglebug

Cuddle time with daddy before he heads back to work

Twelve days old

Sophia Grace

2011-03-02T17:33:00.008-06:00

Our sweet Sophia Grace arrived on Wednesday, February 23 at 2:54 pm. She weighed a nice little 7lbs 2oz and was 19.5 inches long. Of course we're a little biased but we think she's absolutely perfect and beautiful. We keep asking ourselves how we got so lucky to be her parents.

There is so much I have wanted to share over the past week about Sophia's birth and adjusting to life at home with a newborn but my time with Sophia is so precious (as is my sleep!) that I can't justify spending more than five minutes at the computer. I know many people are eagerly awaiting updates and pictures so I hope these will hold you over until life at home with Sophia gets a little more settled.

I will share that Sophia is doing well. She is almost back up to her birth weight after dealing with some jaundice. We've worked out our breastfeeding issues and she's successfully latching...she has her daddy's appetite that's for sure! She is finally settling into somewhat of a pattern and is finally letting us sleep in longer intervals - this mommy doesn't function so well on 30 minutes of sleep at time. When she's awake she is so alert - her big eyes just stare at us when we talk to her and she follows our voices so well. She's incredibly active and loves when we break her out of her swaddle so that she can use those long, tiny fingers of hers to scratch at her face or latch onto our fingers. While we're incredibly in love with our little girl I will say that the past week has certainly had it's highs and lows. Being a first time parent is incredibly overwhelming and it's something that you really can't be prepared for until it happens. But when it happens, it is truly amazing how life changes and how you just know what to do and how to do it. We feel so truly blessed to have our healthy little girl in our arms finally and we can't wait to watch her grow. Speaking of growing, she's already a week old today. The pictures don't do her justice - she's changed so much since her birth day.

We look forward to sharing more about our sweet little girl in the coming days but until then, we'll be savoring our last few days with daddy home from work and continuing to adjust to life as a family of three!

Two days old

Getting ready to leave the hospital

Cuddle time with daddy

Three days old...a little tummy time

We could watch her sleep all day

Bathtime...looks like mommy could use a shower, too!

One week old

Last Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-02-20T12:19:00.007-06:00

Forty weeks

I promise that this will be my very last pregnancy post. I know, I've been hopeful of that for weeks now but really, there is absolutely no way we will see a week 41 of this pregnancy and I am oh-so-very thankful for that! Today is baby girl's due date and Wednesday, February 23rd is induction day. It only seems fitting that we'd have another Wisconsin winter snow storm on her due date. This is officially our last weekend as a family of two. Our last weekend of freedom as so many have pointed out. Our house is peaceful, our time is ours to spend as we want. Now that we have this official end date in sight, things just feel different...in an absolutely wonderful kind of way.

When we went to the doctor this past week, our doctor assured us that we wouldn't be needing that induction date and that she really didn't think we'd be seeing our due date. I may need to ask to see her medical school diploma. While I know it's difficult to predict just when a baby while arrive, she really was certain we would have delivered a good week and a half ago. I can't wait to see the look on her face on Tuesday when we come for our last appointment.

Dave is still holding out hope that she'll come before the induction. Me, on the other hand, I think that baby girl knows that I love when things are planned and an induction, well it doesn't get any more planned than that. While I wouldn't be opposed to her coming out on her own, now that I have it set in my head that Wednesday is the day, I'm actually finding some peace in the waiting. I know that the night before I can make sure our house is clean, our fridge is fully stocked, all the laundry is done and put away, and that all of her things are ready and waiting for when we arrive home from the hospital. I can enjoy one last peaceful night, get some last-minute sleep, and not feel rushed in the morning before heading to the hospital. There won't be any rushing around the house to throw last-minute things into my hospital bag. There won't be any wondering if the contractions are real or if my water actually broke. I like things planned and I am kind of looking forward to being in control for just a minute on Wednesday morning. It'll be nice for our family and friends to know where are so we don't have people lingering at the hospital while I'm in labor. I've made it clear on my birthing plan that no one (aside from my husband and mom of course) is allowed near my room until a good hour or two after she's born, when we're ready for visitors. And since the waiting area is cramped and labor can take quit some time, this allows everyone else eagerly awaiting her birth to rest comfortably at home until receiving a call that we're ready for visitors. Yes, I'm begining to look forward to this induction. I am, however, going on the assumption that once I'm induced labor will progress naturally, in a rather quick fashion, so that I don't end up having a c-section. I told Dave I kind of feel like my body has failed me already since baby girl has progressed so close to the point of labor and now I have to be induced. However, I think having a c-section would be the ultimate failure and letdown at this point. I'm praying things continue to go smoothly and naturally, though and if it gets to that point we'll face it then.

Thanks for following along on our pregnancy journey. We appreciate your continued prayers and well-wishes for a healthy, safe delivery and for a healthy baby girl. We look forward to sharing the joyous news of her arrival this week!

The Showering Continued

2011-02-18T18:30:00.003-06:00

Since this blog has become the official documentation of our pregnancy (I'm working on turning the pregnancy posts into an actual book), I wanted to share about our last two baby showers that came as a complete surprise last week.

Every Wednesday morning my team has what we call "Matching Meetings" where we present new homestudy-approved families added to our waitlist and update each other on our recruitment and matching efforts for the kids on our caseloads. These meetings are much-anticipated for the simple fact that bagels are usually involved. I was on my way to the meeting last week when various people, including my supervisor, felt the need to stop and talk to me about what I felt to be very insignificant things. As we were sitting her office discussing her son being sick the day before, I kept looking at the clock thinking "We're going to be late and I could really use a bagel!". Five minutes after the meeting started, a co-worker called her office to ask if she was coming to the meeting. I was just hoping all the good bagels weren't gone at that point. Social workers are like vultures when it comes to free food. Little did I know, all the randomness of the morning was actually stall tactics so that my co-workers could put the finishing touches on decorating the conference room in lots of pink! There was a huge spread of delicious food (bagels included), a beautiful little cake, lots of pink decorations, some very special balloons, and a lot of smiling faces waiting for me on the other side of the conference room doors when I opened them. It was a lovely surprise. We enjoyed some food and discussed horrendous baby names we've seen throughout our careers in child welfare. They gave me a beautiful card with a very generous Target gift card to purchase some of the items remaining on our registry. I am so thankful that although I've only worked at Children's for a short period of time, I have such a thoughtful bunch of co-workers. I just wish I had a camera on hand to take pictures!

The very next day, Dave's co-workers surprised him with his very own baby shower. I was so incredibly thrilled to hear that they did this because I know how special it made Dave feel. I think often as the dad you don't get to share the full excitement of pregnancy with others since you dont visibly carry a baby around inside of you for nine months. Dave has some truly wonderful co-workers who showered him with lots of food, more delicious cake, and some very thoughtful gifts. I have been talking about how I plan to make all of our own baby food but they had no idea! There must be some experienced mammas among his co-workers because they got us a really nice food processor, two delicious baby recipe books, food storage trays for the freezer, and all the fixings for baby food making. Not to mention some adorable bibs, burp cloths, and toddler eating accessories. Luckily Dave's boss captured a few pictures on his Blackberry. We are both so blessed to have supportive work families who are as much awaiting baby girl's birth as we are!

Patience

2011-02-18T10:06:00.005-06:00

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." - Colossians 3:12

This has always been one of my favorite Bible verses. It's simply one of those verses that I strive to exemplify in my daily life. Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Who wouldn't want to possess those qualities? I will admit that personally, some of those qualities are easier to possess than others. Some come easier to me because I feel like they are so ingrained in who I am as a person - they are a part of who I am as a wife, a daughter, a friend, and a social worker. Throughout my life, I have watched my ability to show compassion, kindness, and gentleness to the "least of these" grow. I have a heart for the poor, the orphan and the widow, the destitute, the sick, and those suffering. I am a social worker, afterall. I often find myself trying to instill these qualities in those around me as well - attempting to break down stereotypes, racism, and judgements that are often unwarranted and the result of ignorance, fear, or the environment in which someone was raised. While I consider those qualities my strengths, I struggle with the others. Humility is a quality that I think everyone struggles with. How can we be humble while also striving to be the best versions of ourselves? How do we show pride in our accomplishments while maintaining the humility God commands us to have? Perhaps the most difficult of all the qualities in this verse is patience. Patience is something I can openly say I do not have. I am an impatient person regardless of circumstance. When I want something, I want it now. I'm convinced I was genetically wired to be an impatient person. Thanks, mom (let's not kid ourselves into thinking my dad actually could've passed along this trait. He's the most patient man I know).

I've said before that one of the hardest things about pregnancy is all the waiting. You wait for that magic little stick to display the results you've been hoping for. You wait to see if a tiny heartbeat will appear on the ultrasound screen. You wait to see if your baby will continue to grow, if your pregnancy will be viable. You wait for the sickness to pass and your energy to be renewed. You wait to find out what baby is or isn't hiding between it's little legs. You wait to put together a nursery and for baby showers to bring all the baby stuff to fill that nursery. You wait in excitement as the end of the pregnancy draws near. In all of the months of this pregnancy, the last three weeks have been the hardest. In fact, the last three weeks have felt longer than the entire pregnancy. Knowing how close we are the end but not knowing exactly when the end is coming has really tested the patience gene I really think I'm lacking. I'm pretty sure my husband lacks it as well. In fact, his case of impatience may be worse than mine at this point. He sits next to me as I'm having contractions playing his own version of 100 questions. Are they strong? How far apart are they? Do I need anything? Keep breathing (okay, that's not a question but you get what I'm saying).

Well, in these last few weeks I've certainly prayed for a lot more patience, more than ever before. Waiting is hard in any circumstance. I think about those adopting; waiting for their referrals or to travel to meet their children and bring them home where they belong. I think about those waiting for cancer treatments to end, for news of a diagnosis, or for peace after the loss of a loved one. There are those waiting for news of a job offer or for their wedding day to finally arrive. So many people in my life are waiting on something. I just happen to be waiting on a baby. Patience. I just have to have patience. I may joke that baby girl is never going to come out but she is...maybe later than I would have hoped or expected. But she's coming. By next Wednesday, she'll be here. Patience. I just need a little more patience.

Mid-Week Pregnancy Post

2011-02-16T08:00:00.002-06:00

I never realized how many people are actually reading my blog until I start to get messages about my posts. Many of you have asked in the past 24 hours if baby girl decided to give her mommy a special birthday present this year. Unfortunately, she did not arrive yesterday but I did get to spend part of my birthday visiting my doctor. Thank goodness we love her and her nurse so much and thank goodness she gave us good news!

I'm still progressing towards labor naturally. I'm a good 3cm dilated and 90-95% effaced. Our doctor always says how content she must be when we're listening to her heartbeat because it's always strong and loud. I had the option of having a little more intense of an internal exam yesterday in hopes that she could strip my membranes and help get labor started. I gladly accepted this little birthday gift and promised nurse Tory I wouldn't let me water break in the exam room because she really didn't feel like cleaning it up at 5pm on a Tuesday. My water didn't break but she certainly got things going. I’ll spare you the details other than to say that the contractions have really picked up and I’m feeling a lot more pressure. My doctor said that if her exam was successful, I would likely go into labor within 24-28 hours. If not, I could still go into labor naturally or baby could still be in there a little while longer. The good news is that we have set an induction date for next Thursday, February 24. At least there’s a definitive end in sight! My doctor did say that she was setting the induction date fully intending to cancel it – she’s still convinced my body will naturally go into labor in the next week. Either way, things look good and I am so thankful that my body is doing what it needs to do to allow labor to progress naturally so that I don’t have to have a c-section.

Today is a little bittersweet for us as a year ago today we found out that our first baby had stopped developing and that we were going to miscarry. I remember sitting in the doctor’s office last February 16 listening to the doctor explain what would happen over the next 24 hours. I went home with the medication that would help induce the miscarriage and in the early morning hours of February 17th I had miscarried. Throughout this pregnancy, knowing that our baby girl’s due date was so close to this date, I’ve said that I really don’t want her to be born on February 17th. It was just a date that held so much pain for me. When our doctor said labor could come within 24-48 hours I was reminded of that fact that she very well could be born on February 17th. Dave said yesterday that if she were to born tomorrow, on the very day I kept saying I didn’t want her to be born, that it would be because it’s God’s plan. My mom reminded me of this a few days ago as well – she told me that maybe things need to come full circle and maybe it’s all just a part of the healing process. I think they’re both right. If my daughter is born tomorrow it will be an incredibly wonderful day filled with so much joy. It will become a day of blessings rather than pain. It will remind me of God’s grace and mercy and His ability to bring joy during times of healing.

On a side note, since I have started to hear that people are following the blog aside from those who are official followers listed below, I want to let everyone know that I am considering making my blog private following the birth our baby girl. With all the technology today and the amount of danger the Internet can bring, especially to children, we want to do what’s best to protect our daughter. We’d love for you to continue to follow our journey. To ensure that you can still follow our private blog, you can click the “follow” button on the lower right side of the page or you can let me know that you still want to read and provide me with your email so that I can allow you access. I’ve loved hearing that people are following our life journey – there are more of you than I ever anticipated when I first created this blog. I look forward to being able to continue to share more as we begin our parenting adventure!

The Things I'll Miss

2011-02-15T11:47:00.006-06:00

This morning driving into work Dave looked at me and said, "Aren't you going to miss being pregnant?". Cue the "are you serious?" stare. Absolutely, positively, no way. In between the traffic-induced nausea I probably actually uttered something like "ummm no" and that was the end of that conversation. Back to listening to my husband complain about all the idiots on the road at 7am.

But as I've had some time to think today I realized that maybe there a few things about pregnancy I'll miss. Now don't get me wrong - I am definitely not a pregnancy woman. You know what I'm talking about. There are some women who love being pregnant and can't wait to do it over and over again. I am not, nor never will be, one of those women. At best, I'm one of those women who will look back and say I gave it a try, didn't like it, but will admit it's worth it when you see your beautiful baby being born. I still have a preference to adopt the rest of our children, though. Dave's still trying to bargain for one more biological child first. That's a battle to be continued.

Anyways, back to the things I will actually miss about pregnancy. While I look forward to holding my baby in my arms, it will be a little strange to not feel her moving around in my belly all the time. Dave still gets so excited every time he feels her move. To me, it's become second nature. I fall asleep to her gentle kicks and wake up to her swift punches, indicating I've gone far too long without feeding her. It'll be weird to not spend my days counting her kicks or giving her little high fives.

I’ll definitely miss chocolate. I’ve had a terrible sweet tooth, especially throughout the later half of this pregnancy when I’ve been feeling my best. I love everything chocolate. Unfortunately, chocolate doesn’t fit into my “get back in shape post-baby” diet and I’m pretty sure it would be counter-productive to all the exercise I plan to find time for so I’ve already declared that my relationship with chocolate ends as soon as she vacates my body. I know it’ll be hard to quit this terrible little addiction cold turkey so perhaps a piece or two of dark chocolate a day will be necessary for the weaning process. Afterall, dark chocolate does provide SOME nutritional value according to the latest research and I will need a little caffeine to keep me energized for all those diaper changes and feedings.

I’ll also miss making friends with strangers. It’s so easy to make new friends while pregnant. Everyone wants to know when you’re due or what you’re having and of course if you’ve picked a name. I’ve met new people in the locker room at the gym, washing my hands in the bathroom at work (usually other pregnant ladies since that is where we spend most of our day), nice cashiers and baggers at the grocery store, other young couples at church, and just about any other public place where people enjoy talking about pregnancy. While it still creeps me out when people touch my belly, I do enjoy sharing about our pregnancy and it’s always an easy conversation starter. Heck, I even made friends with the old macho body builder dude at the gym last night whose skinny yet freakishly muscular body totally freaks me out – who would’ve thought a big Cretine-loving man like that would care about a baby!

I wish I could say I will miss being spoiled by my husband with foot and back rubs, him helping with the laundry and cooking, or his need to be over-protective of me but I really don’t think that’ll end after pregnancy. I’ve always known my husband to be an incredibly caring and considerate man but pregnancy has made him even more of a softie (a very manly softie I assure you) and having a baby girl only made his heart a little softer. He reminds me constantly that I’m the most important girl in his life and I’m prepared to share that title with our baby girl soon. I also know that he’ll continue to help out around the house and he’ll do the best he can to make my job as a mom easier, especially in the early weeks. Although, on second thought, those foot rubs definitely will come to an end due to our mutual hatred of feet. I could do without the foot rubs once all this swelling goes away!

Finally, I’ll miss being able to use the constant hormonal changes as an excuse for speaking my mind or acting like a complete mad woman at times. While I look forward to my hormones getting back to normal, it has been nice to say exactly what’s on my mind and not worry about the consequences. Everyone gives a pregnant woman a pass. Hormones can be a fabulous little weapon. I wonder if women going through menopause use this excuse as well. That would explain soooo much. Just saying.

I’ve spent the past nine months with a baby inside my belly – my daily routine and life have been impacted by her being inside of there in so many ways. So while I am looking forward to not being pregnant so very soon, I know there will be little things I’ll miss, especially at first. I’ll be curious to see if my feelings towards pregnancy chance once she’s finally here.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-02-13T18:07:00.008-06:00

Thirty-nine weeks. Yippppiieeee!!! (you should note some serious sarcasm there)

We didn't actually think we'd make it this far to be honest. I know most first babies come on or near their due date but we really were progressing towards labor rather quickly that we convinced ourselves that she'd be early. I guess we learned our lesson on that one. Dave still thinks she's coming in the next few days...I'm starting to think she may just hold out until her due date, if not a few days later. I'm already in early labor - our doctor said on Thursday that I'm sooooo very close to being in active labor. Literally, baby girl has done everything right to move the process right along...she's just being a little stubborn in going the last little bit of the way here at the end. Our doctor said she really didn't think she'd make it until next Sunday and she's almost certain she won't be late. Then again, she did say babies can change their minds and she'll still come when she's good and ready. Thanks for the confidence there, doc!

My contractions are really intensifying so I know labor must be near. I've had some as frequent as five minutes apart, lasting a minute (which signals active labor has begun) BUT they haven't stayed consistent like this for at least an hour (the final prerequisite to head to the hospital). I'll have awful contractions for an hour or two, at various intervals, and then go a few hours without any. When I'm having contractions I get terrible chills, nausea, and headaches - my doctor said this is all wonderful because it means my body is working towards active labor. I say it makes me feel even worse and usually I curl up on the couch and try to sleep through it. I actually never thought I'd beg for painful, frequent contractions but at this point I'd do anything to get her out and hold her in my arms. Everyone told me this all along when I'd say how afraid I am to give birth but right now, I'm ready for the pain if it means I get to meet my daughter.

Dave and I have been attempting to keep busy but the waiting is still hard. We've cleaned the house nearly every day this week, I've rearranged all the baby stuff in the house a million time, and I've taken to piling up meals in our freezer to keep us energized our first few days full. We had one last date, just the two of us, this afternoon at the movies. Dave even gave me my birthday/valentine's present a few days early to help distract me from the waiting. Before we even had kids I told him that instead of anniversary bands for my wedding ring I wanted to get a single band of diamonds for each child we had so that I could stack them on my right ring finger as a reminder of each of my children. He certainly has a good memory and he came bursting through the door Saturday morning, dying to give me my gift. It's absolutely beautiful and we can't wait to have it engraved with baby girl's birthdate!

So, here's to hoping that the next pregnancy-related post has a sweet picture of a beautiful little baby girl instead of one of my big ole basketball belly :)

Twenty Five Years Later

2011-02-11T10:28:00.003-06:00

On Tuesday I will turn twenty-five. Sure, this birthday marks a few milestones in my personal life – I’ll be a quarter of a century old, I can finally rent a car, my car insurance rate will drop (yippie!!), and most significantly, I’ll become a mom. But that’s not what makes this birthday so special. I came to the realization the other day that exactly twenty five years ago my mom was preparing for my birth…she was preparing to become a mom with the birth of her own first child. To some it may seem like an insignificant coincidence but for me it makes this time even more special. Twenty five years ago, my mom was in the very same position that I am now. She was waiting for me to arrive, feeling uncomfortable and swollen, and full of love for her unborn daughter (although she didn’t know I was a girl at the time – they didn’t do ultrasounds back then). I wish I could take a glimpse back in time and watch my mom as she went about her days with me tucked in her belly. I wish I could remember the words she whispered to me and the pleas I’m sure she made for me to come out safely and quickly. I wish I could feel just a minute of her joy the moment I finally arrived.

I don’t think I could have survived this pregnancy without my mom. I’m pretty sure she’s experienced all the emotions, side effects, and anticipation right along with me. It’s almost like her own body has traveled back twenty five years – while her womb may now be empty, I know her heart is just as full as it was when she waited for her own daughter to be born. After our miscarriage, Dave and I decided that we’d wait to tell our families the next time we got pregnant because we saw how hard the loss was on them as well. We wanted to make sure we knew the next pregnancy would be viable first. Well, when the word “pregnant” popped up on that little stick back in June, I called Dave immediately at work and after exchanging a few words of excitement among the tears, he told me to call my mom. He knew I was overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and joy and that I’d need my mom to help get me through the next few weeks. I’m pretty sure I had her work phone number dialed before I even hung up the phone with Dave. And he was right; she really was exactly what I needed over the next few weeks. She validated my fears and calmed my worries. She left work to bring me Gingerale, soup, and crackers when my head hit the toilet. Being pregnant made me realize how much I still need my mom (and undoubtedly, always will, especially as I begin parenting for the first time). Being pregnant reminds me how very much I appreciate her willingness and heart to put others needs first. While Dave was (and continues to be) a wonderful source of support during this pregnancy, nobody can take the place of a mother in a woman’s life as she prepares to become a mother herself. I’m so thankful for the relationship I’ve had with my mom over the past twenty five years and I look forward to how it will continue to grow and change as we step into our new roles as mother and grandmother to my baby girl.

In just a few short days I’ll experience the joy my mom felt twenty five years ago as she became a mom for the first time. I cannot think of a greater birthday gift than that...

I'm here to announce...

2011-02-09T14:19:00.004-06:00

...that I am still pregnant. Believe me, I'm as disappointed as you are.

I've received so many texts, emails, facebook messages, and phone calls asking if baby girl has arrived yet. I can assure you that she is still nestled comfortably (for her anyways) in my womb. In fact, I'm convinced she's caught on to the fact that it really is absolutely freezing outside (seriously, with a windchill of 10 below, it's freezing even for Wisconsin!). My belly isn't all that bad of a place to spend her days given that it's all nice and warm and cozy. While she may be enjoying her last few days (or weeks) in there, I certainly am not. I wear slippers under my desk at work, waddle like a duck, eat like a bear storing up food for the winter, and alternate the same two pairs of work pants all week long because my legs are too swollen for all the others. If I sound like I'm whining it's because I am - my doctor gave me full permission to whine like a two year old these last few weeks because she knows how absolutely miserable the end of pregnancy is. If you've been there you most certainly can understand my desire to scream repeatedly all day long, "Get this baby out of me!!"

With just eleven days until her due date, people have begun placing bets as to when they think she'll arrive. The majority still feel she'll arrive this weekend with a few people picking Valentine's Day or my birthday. A few weeks ago I would've told you she'd likely come early but now I think she may just hold out until the very end. We did tell her, afterall, that she's not due until February 20th. Dave reminds me every day that it's in God's hands and that she'll come when He feels she's good and ready. Waiting is hard; having patience is harder. Admitting my husband is right may just be the hardest thing of all... :)

Nursery

2011-02-07T07:00:00.006-06:00

We finally put the finishing touches on baby girl's nursery with two weeks to spare (technically anyways). I plan to add some photographs of her and us as a family above her bed once she's born but the room is all ready for her. it's the smallest room in our house and a sort-of odd shape but we managed to squeeze in all the essentials without making it look cluttered. I wanted the room to be as functional as it is cute, cozy, and safe. While I certainly changed my mind a few times during the decorating process (two painting jobs and different colored furniture top the list of changes), I am happy with how it turned out and I think it's a room fit for a little princess :)

Here's a look back at the room before we began converting it into her nursery. It was a second guest bedroom with some of my childhood furniture in it. The daybed has since gone to my grandparents house and the dresser was moved into the other bedroom.

And here's a peak at the room now. It's a nice pale shade of pink with espresso-colored furniture, soft brown curtains, a comfy pink rug, and some bright pink lamps to accentuate the colors in the bedding (the lamps were a must since the room doesn't have overhead lighting). We have some hand-made artwork and plenty of storage room in the closet to hide toys and clutter as she grows. I've got breastfeeding supplies tucked away in the bins on her small espresso storage shelf that also doubles as a nightstand since we didn't have room for a table. It's amazing what you can do with such a small space!

Looking in from the doorway

View from entry into room

Wall against the doorway

"It's a Zoo!" bedding - we won't use the blanket until she's over a year and no bumpers of course for safety reasons

Storage and functionality all in one!

Changing table/dresser combo - great space saver!

Changing pad cover matches the bedding

A friend drew us some pictures to match the animals on her bedding/changing pad cover - way better than anything we could've drawn ourselves!

Closet organization and lots of pink clothes!

Dave testing out the rocker

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-02-06T14:50:00.003-06:00

Thirty-eight weeks. Two centimeters dilated (at least), 80% effaced, and her head is in the negative one station, meaning it's as far down as it can go without me being in active labor. If you've ever been pregnant than you understand those numbers. If you haven't (or if it's been a while) this basically means that she is more than ready to come out. In fact, my doctor said that some women would already be in labor at this point. If this were my second or third pregnancy I'd likely have delivered by now. She said that because my uterine muscles are all nice and tight I can hold her in there just a little longer and stronger and for some reason she's just not ready to come out yet.

I certainly have held up my end of the deal in helping motivate her to come out. I do about 40 minutes on the elliptical or treadmill each day, I've cleaned my house from top to bottom, I've eaten way too much spicy food this past week, and I've taken lots of hot showers and baths. I still think all of those labor-inducing tricks are bogus. She'll come when she's good and ready but I am certainly good and ready. Baby girl is resting on a nerve in my upper abdomen which is causing some pain, the swelling only continues to worsen in my legs, and I still have trouble breathing even though my belly has noticeably dropped (just compare the above picture to one a few weeks ago). Last night I thought for sure my water was breaking as I was in the bathroom every 5-10 minutes. I think I'm starting to leak small amounts of amniotic fluid because I always feel like I'm peeing myself but I've been assured that when my water actually breaks I'll most certainly know. My contractions are still varied in pattern but can come for a few hours at a time, every twenty minutes, lasting about a minute each. Last night they came about every ten minutes, adding to my anxiety that labor was near. We know it's only a matter of days now but it's the not knowing when that's starting to get to us both. We're both too anxious to play the waiting game any longer!

We're hoping this is our last weekly pregnancy post but she may just decide to hold out until her due date, despite the progress she's already made towards delivery. Her daddy was sort of hoping to watch the Superbowl game with her today. It would've been rather fun for her to cheer the Packers onto a victory by entering the world today but given that it's just two hours to kick-off, I'd say it's safe to assume she won't be a Superbowl baby. I have, however, gotten pretty good at deciphering her kicks though and I'm pretty sure she's chanting "Go Pack Go!!" in there :)

Blizzzzzzzard

2011-02-02T16:23:00.006-06:00

I had a tiny amount of hope that those rumors that snowstorms brought babies would be true but the blizzard of 2011 has come and gone and I'm still pregnant. So while 15 inches of snow was piling up outside of our windows, we hunkered down inside to take a few pictures together. We are having professional maternity pictures taken on Saturday but just in case she arrives before then, I told Dave we needed a few good ones of us together to remember this pregnancy by. I suppose I could've done my hair and we could've put on some nicer clothes but these pictures seem to be a more accurate representation of this pregnancy - messy hair, tired eyes, and lots of sweatpants! After about 100 attempts, I found a few that satisfied this crazy pregnant lady :)

Of course we couldn't stay inside forever (and by we I actually mean Dave). We both had snow days today (if you count having to use a vacation day) so I suppose we could have put off digging ourselves out but my hubby wanted to be sure we could get out just in case I went into labor. Which I appreciate because my dad's backup plan for getting me to the hospital with all this snow was on the back of his snowmobile. Somehow I doubt I'd be the first pregnant lady in Wisconsin to get to the hospital that way. Anyways, while Dave braved the blizzard's winds outdoors, I snapped a few pictures from the safety and comfort of our home.

Snowdrift outside our front door

Where to begin...

I think you'll need more than a shovel, Dave!

There's the mailbox!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-02-01T08:34:00.001-06:00

Thirty-seven (and a half) weeks.

I'm a little behind on the weekly pregnancy post. That's what happens when in a matter of a week you go from feeling alright to suddenly begging your daughter to vacate your body and enter the world because you're convinced that if you have to be pregnant one more day your body will just stop functioning. I am amazed at how in just a few short days things changed to drastically.

When we went to the doctor last Tuesday for our 36 week appointment my doctor informed me that I was already 2 centimeters dilated, baby girl had dropped into position, and that I had "the cervix of the day" (seriously, those were her words). I've neglected to read all those pregnancy books sitting on our bookshelves because they scare the crap out of me and I know better than to trust everything you read. So I wasn't really aware or even prepared for our doctor to inform us that I was already dilated with four weeks until my due date. Of course the logical question out of my mouth after she informed us of this was when baby girl was going to arrive. Our doctor informed us that it could be a matter of a few days or a few weeks - there really was no way to predict that. Dave tried asking again and she laughed. She plead the fifth and said she doesn't want to be held accountable for any wrong estimates. Fair enough. Either way, we were excited to know that everything was progressing perfectly and naturally so far and we have high hopes that in the next week or two (hopefully!) I'll go into labor the good old fashioned way and have a successful labor and delivery.

While my co-workers are convinced I'll have the baby on Friday (not sure how this date was picked!?), I've been told that women can walk around for weeks dilated and not make any more progress. I'm praying that after we go to the doctor on Thursday she'll tell me that I've dilated even further and that she's confident I'll be going into labor soon. Everyone also has advice on how to naturally induce labor and while I'm not sure I believe in any of these methods, I am walking like a mad woman at the gym and staying plenty hydrated. I'm including spicy foods in our weekly menu plans and enjoy a hot bath once in a while. I've been told that snowstorms can also induce labor and well, we've had one this week and we're in the middle of a blizzard right now but it's not looking promising.

While I am incredibly eager to start this labor process and welcome our baby girl into the world, I am also experiencing an overwhelming amount of anxiety around going into labor. I don't sleep because I can't stop dreaming terrible dreams about labor (think delivering on the side of the road during a blizzard) and I have this fear all night and day that my water is going to break in the most unsuspecting place. The amount of pelvic pressure and pain I am feeling was something I was not prepared for. It scared me at first, especially when coupled with the intense contractions I am beginning to feel. Each day they get stronger and last longer but I know that they are still just braxton hicks contractions and I'll know when the real ones actually arrive. I think I'll actually be much more relaxed and calm when my water finally breaks because that element of anticipation will finally disappear.

Despite how I may be feeling now and how awful these last few weeks could be for me physically, I know we're so close to finally holding our baby girl in our arms and that makes any amount of pain and discomfort worth it. I'm hoping this is my last weekly pregnancy post but you never know...afterall, we did learn early on that baby girl can be just a little bit stubborn :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-01-24T17:44:00.009-06:00

It’s the final countdown… four weeks to go!

Is it acceptable to start feeling incredibly anxious at this point in time? Please say yes because that’s the one word that best describes the multitude of emotions I am experiencing with just four weeks to go until our due date. Everyone keeps asking if we’re excited and yes, we are very very VERY excited. We’re excited to meet our baby girl and I’m excited to no longer be pregnant. But on top of all that excitement is pure anxiety and for an already overly-anxious person, this added anxiety is causing me to feel a bit neurotic and act a lot like a crazy woman. Just ask my husband. I’m a planner and an organizer. It’s just what I do and who I am. Not knowing exactly when I’m going to go into labor or how much longer we have until she arrives is driving me a bit crazy. I have been feeling this overwhelming urge to just be ready, completely and totally ready, even though I know that you really can’t ever be ready for a baby’s arrival. This weekend we cleaned the house from top to bottom – every floor was scrubbed clean, the shop-vacuum came out for a good dust clean-up, cabinets were cleared out and contact-papered, and toilets were scrubbed. Not that she’s going notice any of those things, right? I just feel so much better knowing our house is clean. We finished her bedroom with the exception of the lamps that I’m still waiting for Land of Nod to deliver to my front door. My hospital bag is packed with the exception of a few last-minute items to be thrown in on the day-of. I woke up about 50 times last night after having dreams of my water breaking. I'm sure this is normal but if she doesn't arrive for four more weeks I may just drive MYSELF crazy! I think Dave will be thankful when she arrives for the simple fact that I’ll regain some of my sanity and he’ll be able to watch his weekend sports without the constant dictation of his next task. Then again, he WILL have a baby demanding lots of attention and dictating diaper changes and feedings (sorry, my love, but your sport-watching weekends will never be the same again :)).

How Far Along: Thirty-six weeks

Well, Hello Bags: By bags I mean those lovely bags that form under your eyes that tell the rest of the world just how tired you're feeling. I could get 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep and still manage to have those dark bags under my eyes. I can't even remember the number of people who told me that I looked tired last week. That's an understatement and a feeling that I'm sure won't subside for a very long time. Ironically enough, I'm getting the most sleep now that I've gotten throughout my entire pregnancy. I think this nasty cold virus I'm trying to fight off may have something to do with it. Either way, if you happen to notice the bags, politely tell me that I look wonderful and move on :) Make a pregnant lady feel a little better, would ya?!

Food Cravings: This week I had two very spontaneous and random grocery store purchases: chocolate milk and Frosted Mini Wheats. I haven't had chocolate milk in a very long time but I managed to finish off the gallon in a day and it tasted delicious. I've never had Frosted Mini Wheats in my entire life but for some reason that bright orange box stood out to me as I walked down the cereal aisle and they just looked too deceptively delicious on the cover I had to have them. Unfortunately, they didn't live up the hype but I do plan on finishing that box.

Just the Two of Us: Dave and I have really been trying to savor our last few weeks as a family of two. Last weekend we enjoyed a little night out at the movies, seeing The Dilemma. On Saturday night we spent our last Christmas gift card on dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. Despite some terrible service and my pizza being delivered covered in onions (I'm mentally allergic to those nasty little things), it was a nice night out. We even did a little browsing at Baby Gap and both agreed that once she's born and we know just what size she is we'll be heading back for some adorable spring and summer outfits! We know it'll be a while before we get some time together, just the two of us, once she's born so we figure we should make the most of the time now. Although, I will admit we spend most of our time talking about all the things we plan to do with baby girl and really, we're just so excited to become a family of three!

Superbowl Bound: Dave has informed me that I am not allowed to give birth on Sunday, February 6th now that the Packers are Superbowl bound. And if I do happen to be in labor during the Superbowl, it will be on in my room and he will efficently multi-task in cheering me on while cheering on the green & gold. I politely informed him the last thing I want as background noise while in labor is football but there's no reasoning with a man who loves sports. While it's highly unlikely I'll go into labor two weeks early, I did tell him that she might just decide to arrive that day to prove to her daddy that she will always come before sports :)

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Realizing that in less than a month we'll finally be parents. I've been pregnant for over a year now in theory (give or take a few months) and I'm more than ready to hold our baby girl in my arms. Knowing we're this close to that day makes me feel like a kid on Christmas morning!

Safehaven

2011-01-20T17:15:00.001-06:00

Being a Social Worker can be incredibly challenging, especially when you work in public Child Welfare. With my job, it’s so easy to feel discouraged and hopeless. Here I have a caseload of teenagers waiting for adoptive families who simply don’t exist; teenagers who have been in out-of-home care for years and whose childhoods have been anything but pleasant. These teenagers are often labeled as “bad kids” because of their behaviors that they have acquired through their years spent in the child welfare system by no fault of their own. There are days when I feel like the work I do is meaningless and that it’s already too late to make a difference in their lives. It’s so easy to become discouraged, burned out, and down-right exhausted when you’re a Social Worker. With that said, there are also incredible moments that remind you why you chose to become a Social Worker in the first place. Those moments give purpose and hope to your work all over again. In my new job I’m learning that those are the moments I have to live on. I want to share a few with you – mostly so that I can document some of the incredibly experiences I have been privileged to have as a part of my career but also because I want to continually serve as an adoption/foster care/ orphan advocate and the only way to successfully do that is to share my experiences honestly and openly.

One of the highlights of my (short-lived) career in child welfare so far has been having the privilege of calling a family to tell them that they have a child waiting for them. When adopting from the foster care system, we tell potential adoptive parents that the likelihood of getting an infant is rare. Our program is considered a special needs adoption program – the children are likely to be school-aged, have been the victims of abuse or neglect, and exhibit various behaviors that pose unique challenges and require special attention. There have been licensed families waiting on our list for nearly two years because of the parameters they create for their adoptions. Our families are asked to assess what level of legal risk they are open to, meaning how comfortable they are with facilitating birth parent visitations if court-ordered, how open they are to maintaining birth sibling contact, or how they would react to a reunification with a biological parent. We ask what ages, races, and special needs they would be open to. We explain that before they can legally adopt a child, they have to serve as a foster family and they have to wait through a lengthy legal process that can include termination of parental rights hearings, appeals, and court-ordered birthparent visits. When all this information is gathered and a family becomes licensed, they start the “waiting” process. While international and private domestic adoptions tend to have a very systematic way of organizing their “wait list” according to the date the family has submitted all their required documents and the type of child they want, our wait list looks anything but systematic (although it is alphabetized). This threw me off at first but now it makes sense because each family has such specific criteria. So many families want only infants and from there some want just Caucasian, some are open to just African American, others are open to any race (most of our children are African American or Hispanic). People give general age ranges they would prefer and they can specify certain needs they are or aren’t open to, such as birth parent mental health needs or a child diagnosis of reactive attachment disorder (a common theme among foster youth). With all of that said, we have a very complex system of matching our waiting children with our waiting families. We don’t just pick up the phone and tell someone we have a child that they can have if they want – we have to give them all sorts of background information, discuss visitation plans, and schedule a series of pre-placement visits. It’s a rather lengthy and time-consuming process. However, and this is a BIG however, we sometimes get Safehaven babies that require immediate placement. These are the babies that are left at the hospital by their birth mothers within 72 hours of their birth. These are the babies that so many people on our waiting list envision when they start the process of becoming licensed to adopt from the foster care system. The licensing workers are cautious about this and explain to families that these babies are far and few between so they shouldn’t get their hopes up of receiving placement of a newborn with low legal risk.

In the past week, I’ve had the privilege of working on placing two Safehaven babies. My first experience I took a secondary role and took in the process and how it all worked. Today, however, I got to take on my very own Safehaven baby case and I don’t ever want to forget the joy that today brought me. A sweet baby boy was waiting in a Milwaukee hospital for someone to claim him as their son and I was the person responsible for deciding who his parents would be. With the help of a fabulous co-worker we sorted through our list of waiting families to find those whose own criteria met the basic information we had on the baby (his gender, race, age, special needs, and legal risk). After generating a list of about 10 families who all met the minimum required criteria for this baby, we sorted them by who has been waiting the longest. While this is always a good starting point, dates are not necessarily the deciding factor. From there, I began reading the family’s homestudies. In private child welfare, an adoption worker usually licenses their own families and then stays on and manages the case until a referral is made. In our agency we have separate workers who complete the home studies and manage the family’s license and then we have my role which is responsible for actually placing adoptive children into these licensed homes. This makes it challenging because I have never met the families – I simply have a 12-20 page homestudy to read to try and get a true representation of what a family is like, the type of child that would work best in their family, and whether the child I have would be an appropriate match. If the licensing worker is available, we always speak with them before making a final placement decision. Today, after looking at a few different families and making a few unanswered calls, I found the couple who would become baby boy Safehaven’s forever family. I’m not sure who was more nervous when I made the call – me or the woman on the other end of the line. She was overwhelmed and in shock as I can imagine I would be too if I got a call in the middle of my work day saying that there was a newborn baby boy waiting in a local hospital for me to come pick him up and take him home to live with me forever. But she was so overjoyed and so appreciative and I will admit that I felt such a strong sense of purpose knowing that I just changed a family’s life forever in a way that nobody else could have in one simple phone call. I wish I could’ve reached through the phone and hugged her as I could hear those tears coming down her cheeks. I was the one calling someone with their “referral” – I was the one who made a family’s dream of becoming parents come true. If that feeling doesn’t give my work purpose than I’m not sure what else could. Today made all of the difficult days, challenging cases, and defeating moments worth it.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-01-18T07:23:00.001-06:00

Our laptop is on its last leg and isn’t letting me upload pictures so you’ll have to trust me when I tell you the belly has grown since last week. Consider this a warning that this post is likely to be incredibly long. I keep having this fear that I’m going to go into labor at any minute (yes, I know our due date is still nearly 5 weeks away) and I don’t want to miss any of the last-minute details of this pregnancy.

How Far Along: Thirty-five weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Swelling – especially in my feet, ankles, and lower legs. I hadn’t really noticed it until last week when my doctor pointed out that my ankles were swollen. Sure enough – that would explain the pain in my feet and legs recently. Guess it’s easy to miss when you can’t see your feet and you hide under long pants and winter boots!

Food Cravings: I had a miracle craving this week – broccoli!!! I have never ever liked or even really eaten broccoli in my entire life. Unfortunately (or fortunately when I was a kid), I didn’t have parents who forced me to eat my vegetables in order to leave the dinner table. I always try to incorporate more vegetables into my diet but I usually mask their true nutritional value with some melted cheese or something else rather unhealthy. I thought living with a vegetarian during grad school would help but here I am, still refusing to eat my vegetables. Periodically through this pregnancy I’ve wanted some veggies – mostly carrots or other crunchy veggies that can be dipped in ranch so when this urge to serve broccoli with every meal came across a few days ago, I started planning our weekly menu accordingly. Last night we had some delicious chicken and rice with steamed broccoli and I didn’t even pick out one bit of the broccoli. A miracle! I’ve also been craving spicy foods. Again, I’m usually not much of a spicy person but I found myself stocking up on spicy sauces this week to incorporate into this week’s menu. Unfortunately spicy food leads to horrible heartburn but I just can’t put the fork down!

The Belly: I got my first “you look like you’re about to pop” comment this week…from the nice old man bagging my groceries at Pick N Save, nonetheless. He must’ve been in his late 70’s and he is the most methodical, organized bagger I have ever met. He made my job of sorting and putting away groceries much later. Anyways, here I am trying to get my bottled water back into my cart when he says “Oh my goodness dear, you look like you’re about to have that baby any day!” Thank you Mr. Bagger for noticing. I assured him I still had five weeks left but he insisted the baby looked like it could come any day now. After all those months of hearing people say “You don’t even look pregnant” this was a welcomed comment because trust me, I certainly feel more pregnant than I may look. You can bet I’ll be heading to his check-out line if I ever see him again.

Nursery Progress: She has a mattress! And her room is officially baby-ready. We still have lamps and a small table to purchase and her pictures haven’t been hung but the essentials are all there – tucked away in their neat little storage spaces. I spent Saturday washing all her itsy-bitsy clothes and turning our disaster of a guest room into a functional space again by putting all her baby stuff away. It feels good to be organized and I feel better knowing that we’re less than five weeks to her due date now. I have her hospital bag all packed and a long list of things to pack in my own bag – that’s next weekend’s task. I promise some pictures when I feel like her room is truly finished.

Showering Continues: As if our two wonderful baby showers weren’t enough, the Lutheran Women’s Missionary League I am involved in at church decided to throw me a surprise baby shower at our meeting last Tuesday night. It had been a long day at work and I was still so exhausted from the weekend’s showers, I contemplated not going. Thankfully, I went or else there would’ve been a bunch of ladies eating cake and opening baby gifts without me! I was so thankful for this surprise shower and for all the beautiful gifts we got. I’m still amazed that my mom managed to keep this a surprise from me – I am certainly not a surprise person. Unfortunately because it was a surprise I didn’t have my camera on hand but trust me, the cake was beautiful and so incredibly delicious and baby girl received some of the cutest outfits from her LWML family.

Bonding: I am still so amazed at how much Dave and baby girl have bonded. The second he touches my belly and opens his mouth she responds with strong kicks and movements. He’ll have whole conversations with her and she listens and responds as if she already understands how to hold a conversation. It’s so different for me. She listens to me talk all day long and I feel her kicks constantly – I feel like my bonding with her is a slow, continuous process and I think I’ll actually feel that attachment once she is physically here. If I were to guess though I’d say she is definitely going to be a daddy’s girl and it melts my heart already.

The Name Game: Yes, we have a name picked out. No, we are not sharing it :) It’s the number one question I get these days from everyone, though. Even from complete strangers. We had a long list of baby girl names picked out and one baby boy name. I can tell you that when we found out she was a girl, Dave instantly started calling her by one of the names and hasn’t stopped since. I don’t usually call her by her name because sometimes in my mind I wonder if we’ve picked the one that will be best for her. I feel like I want to see her first before I can officially say, “Yes, that’s her name.” I will tell you that the name we picked sounds elegant and sweet and it’s nice and short for a last name like Irish.

It’s Personal: For so many months we’ve been putting all our energy and money into baby girl. I was talking with a girl friend the other day and asked if it was selfish to look forward to not being pregnant anymore so that I could have a bit of myself back. After all, this tiny human being has hijacked my body for the past nine months. First she assured me that I’d have a completely new normal, and I’m perfectly fine with that. Then she told me that it is absolutely necessary that I look forward to doing some things for myself after she’s born so that I don’t lose my sanity as a new parent. It may be weird to say but I look forward to brushing my teeth without bleeding gums and going to the dentist for a good cleaning that doesn’t hurt. I look forward to finally coloring my hair dark again and getting a fresh cut. I look forward to going to the gym and being able to exercise like before. I think I look forward to all of these things because they will make me feel good about myself again after months of not having the energy to make myself look more than just presentable. Ask any pregnant lady and they will tell you it’s difficult to feel beautiful when you’re watching the numbers on the scale continuously go up, you feel and look like you haven’t slept in days and your clothes never seem to fit or look just right. I know I won’t be ready to venture out and do any of these things for quite some time after she’s born but it’s fun to have a few things just for me to look forward to

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-01-11T17:26:00.002-06:00

How Far Along: Thirty-four weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Thinking I can do everything just as I did pre-pregnancy and learning the hard way that sometimes that just isn’t possible. Okay, so maybe that’s a long, made-up, random pregnancy side effect or maybe it’s just my stubborn personality, but last week I learned the hard way that my body definitely cannot do the things it did before I was pregnant. Long story short, I learned that it really is best to bend at your knees when you’re pregnant because if you don’t you might just pull a back muscle. While I’m continually told that I have a tiny belly, to me, it’s significantly larger than it was a few months ago and bending over to pick up your husband’s shoes (that he so graciously leaves lying in front of the door) can be a daunting task. Lesson learned: make hubby pick up his own shoes and always bend at the knees, not the waist! Other than a few pulled muscles and learning how to maneuver my body with this baby belly, I am feeling really good. I think I’m well-adjusted to the minimal sleep because I feel less tired and annoyed when I wake up in the middle of the night now. In a way, I look forward to my mid-night feedings with her in a few weeks. It’ll be nice to have some company when I can’t sleep!

Cravings: I can honestly say I haven’t had any weird cravings this entire pregnancy. Recently, my cravings consist of foods I see on television commercials. The past week it was Pizza Hut breadsticks. We never order Pizza Hut but this very persuasive commercial came on and convinced me, at 9 o’clock at night, that I needed to have breadsticks (with marinara sauce of course). While the hubby offered to drive and get some I insisted it was completely unnecessary and the craving for them passed….until Saturday night when the sister-in-law decided to order us some Pizza Hut and I finally was able to indulge in a breadstick and a half and it was everything I had hoped it would be the night I saw the commercial. I’m still enjoying dairy products, especially cheese and milk. I’ve eaten far too much leftover baby shower cake since the weekend and I’m already declaring that our house will be junk food-free after she’s born. What I find most interesting is that Dave has been having some cravings of his own these past few weeks. I doubt that he’s gained any “sympathy weight” because he probably couldn’t even gain weight if he tried. BUT whenever I announce that I must have a certain food item at a very specific time, he always responds with “I could really go for some…(fill in the blank)”. It’s usually some random and it never relates to my craving. Sometimes you’d think HE’S the one carrying the baby!

Weight-gain: Why do people feel the need to ask how much weight I’ve gained during pregnancy? Is that ever an appropriate question to ask a woman? While I can admit that I’m on the lower end of the pregnancy weight gain spectrum, I still feel like a big old cow on most days. I don’t need a number to make me feel that way. I tell Dave everyday I just want my body back. I can’t wait for her to vacate the premises so that I can feel like myself again. It’s impossible to say no to any form of chocolate while pregnant, my legs are swollen and I refuse to wear anything but long pants, and my face has exploded to the size of a basketball (much like my belly). Everyone keeps telling me that my belly is so tiny for being 34 weeks along – I’ve heard this throughout my entire pregnancy. I think I’m supposed to feel lucky!? Perhaps compared to some others at this point it is on the smaller side but trust me, it’s pretty big when compared to where I started at. My maternity clothes are slowly getting too small. Pregnant or not, no woman wants to feel fat and no woman wants to share how much weight she’s gained. Now, in a few months, feel free to ask me how much I’ve lost because I’m sure that number I will be more than thrilled to share :)

Nesting: On Saturday morning I had a very hormonal breakdown, over clothes of course. I locked myself in our closet while Dave lay in bed, declaring that nothing fit and that I was going to look terrible for my own baby shower no matter what I put on. When I finally emerged dressed I still wasn’t satisfied and declared that I looked like a teacher-mom in my outfit. Dave, still lying in bed, so wonderfully said, “You ARE a mom.” To which I quickly responded that no, I was not yet a mom (just a mom-to-be), therefore I didn’t have to dress like one yet. I proceeded to then lock myself in the bathroom because let’s face it, when your wardrobe fails you there is always hope for a good hair day. The point of the story is, I was wrong – I am a mom. I’ve been a mom since the moment we first found out we were pregnant. I’ve been taking care of our daughter -protecting, feeding, and nurturing her - for nearly nine months now and even though I’ve never held her in my arms or seen her face, I am still her mother. All the nesting I’ve been doing, all the time I spend in her room, touching her clothes, planning her future – that’s the stuff that makes me a mom. So we’ll let the hubby be right this ONE time...although I still wasn’t satisfied with my outfit that day.

One Year Ago: A year ago yesterday, on January 10th, we had found out that we were pregnant with our first baby. Dates tend to stick in my head and always hold some sort of significance for me. I remember we both already knew that I was pregnant – we had a strong feeling that turned out to be right. It was an incredibly joyous day for us and the weeks that followed brought so much excitement and joy to our families, too. While that pregnancy didn’t end in the way we would have hoped, I don’t ever want to forget that excitement because you only have that first time once. And we know that someday we’ll get to meet our sweet baby in heaven and we’ll be reminded of those feelings of excitement all over again.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Our baby showers. You can read my last post for all the details and pictures from our two baby showers this past weekend. It’s a little bittersweet that they’re over because I hear you only get them with your first child. Either way, it was a significant highlight from our pregnancy and we appreciate everyone who helped us celebrate.

Showered

2011-01-10T19:00:00.009-06:00

We were so blessed to have two beautiful baby showers this weekend! Our house is officially overflowing with baby gear – in fact, I think that somehow baby girl’s stuff has managed to infiltrate nearly every room in house in one way or another. Having all of this baby stuff around certainly adds to the excitement of her impending arrival and makes it feel so much closer and “real” than before!

Saturday was the Irish shower, hosted by my mother-in-law and one of her friends. It was extra-special that Dave’s sister was in town still visiting from Peru so she was able to share the day with us. This was Dave’s first baby shower experience and it was a great one. We had a delicious lunch and cake and opened far too many presents to even remember what we all received. We got some more of our essentials including diapers, baby bathing products, Dave’s ever-so-desired Diaper Genie (actually a different version but he still calls it his genie), the must-have Boppy and lots of cute baby clothes. I was so thankful that one of my closest friends, Kelsey, was able to come in from Madison on her birthday to help us celebrate this special time in our lives. We had an extra-special present for her that day which will be an entirely different post at a later date but we appreciated her spending her own special day with us. We got to spend extra time after the shower with Dave’s sister before it was time for her to head back to Peru. Next time she sees us, we’ll be parents!

Parents-to-be and the delicious cake

Dave, Me, and Kelsey

With Dave's aunt Karen

Sisters

Irish Family

My mom had her shower on Sunday, although this one was strictly girls only (Dave and Dad kept each other company at Home Depot and camped in front of the TV for some football). I was so thankful that all of my family and some of my closest friends were able to be there. It’s an amazing feeling knowing that so many people at the shower have known me nearly all my life or close to it. Many of the guests spent time recalling what it was like nearly 25 years ago as my own mother was preparing for my arrival. Such special memories! We enjoyed delicious cake and snacks and I think I broke some sort of world record for fastest shower ever because I had all those presents open in no time (there was a Packer game quickly approaching and I feel so weird opening gifts with so many people staring)! We again got so many of the essentials (and fun items!) we’ve been watching disappear from our registries – baby’s swing, bouncer, Pack N Play, Baby Bjorn carrier, Moby sling, Baby Einstein Jumperoo, and lots of diapers, wipes, bath products, and toys. Both my grandma and “aunt” Holly handmade beautiful blankets for baby girl which will be so warm and cuddly when she first arrives home. And yes, I got everyone out the door with plenty of time to spare before the Packer game even began :)

Me and Jenny

Katie, Me, and Emily

My mommy friend, Chrissy and sweet Emma

Me and Laura

Me and Katie

Me, Mom and Dad

It felt like we were kids on Christmas morning when we walked into our house last night to all these gifts scattered about. I’ve got a big old pile of baby clothes to wash next weekend, lots of diapers and wipes to be stored away for future use, and so many miscellaneous baby items to find a home for. We couldn’t wait to put all of the new fun baby toys together. In fact, I even managed to distract Dave during a Packer game long enough to get baby girl’s bouncy seat, swing, Pack N Play, and Zoo activity mat all put together. I will point out that Dave learned the importance of reading directions when it comes to assembling baby equipment. While looking at a picture and guessing may work for men in most cases, baby gear is highly complicated and you don’t want to risk your child’s safety. We had a few laughs while assembling and when all was said and done, we sat back on the couch and realized all we needed was a baby to put in all of those new things!

Next weekend will be dedicated to organizing all these new gifts, doing her laundry, purchasing her mattress, finishing decorating her nursery, and packing her bag for the hospital. I want it all to be done so that we can sit back and relax the last few weeks as we enjoy our last time together as a family of two and wait for the arrival of our beautiful daughter!

Resolving

2011-01-04T07:30:00.001-06:00

I’ve never been one to make resolutions at the start of a new year. Exercise more. Eat healthier. Spend less, save more. To me, these resolutions seem destined to fail right from the start. This year must be different, for whatever reason, because I’ve thought long and hard about a few resolutions of my own. I vow though that my resolutions aren’t so superficial – they are practical things that I fully expect to be able to achieve. Not just that, but they are things that I’ve already been working on for a while. I’m not going for a body makeover here; I’m going for a change in my thinking, my actions, and who I am as a person. I’m simply reminding myself this New Year of these things I’d like to change about myself and re-dedicating this year to working even harder to achieve them. So, in no particular order or without any real logic, here are a few things I’ll be working on in 2011:

1. Not sweating the small stuff. Sounds so simple, right? Maybe if you’re a go-with-the-flow, relaxed person. I’m the complete opposite. I’m that over-anal, Type A, neurotic, planner type of person who manages to always make a big deal out of something so small. Like cleaning. When I say “don’t sweat the small stuff” I’m referring to my need to keep my house spotless by constantly cleaning as if I’m waiting for the Queen herself to ring my doorbell and invite herself in for an inspection. I’m referring to my need to grocery shop on the same day each week, but only after the laundry is sorted and in the wash. I’m referring to my need to be a bit more go-with-the-flow. To cross out things in my planner and schedule time for myself. For the things that I enjoy. This year, I vow to have a messier house, a messier planner, and a less jam-packed schedule. This will be no small task, let me tell you, and I am well aware of it. But I think that now, more than ever, with a baby on the way and a complete change to my lifestyle, is as best a time as ever.

2. Standing up for myself. I’m a people-pleaser. I have been for as long as I can remember. I think I am mostly responsible for making myself this way – the pressure I put on myself to perform academically, to be a good daughter, and to live up to other people’s expectations of me. During all of this pleasing other people, I often forget that I have a voice and opinions that matter. In the past few years, I’ve noticed that I find it easy to use my voice when it comes to advocating for the things that are important to me. But the instances in which I do that are limited. Take my blog for example – I find it easy to stand up for my beliefs around adoption and orphan care. It’s easy for me to stand strong in my Christian faith. But in times of conflict, confrontation, or when I come head-to-head with bullies or those over-opinionated, always-right people in my life, I back down because it’s easier to just let them have their way than fight. This causes me a lot of internal conflict and stress. So this year, I’m going to stand strong in my opinions and values and make my own wishes known. I’m not going to scour in the face of conflict or disagreement but rather I feel confident in my ability to articulate my feelings. This one makes me feel so childish but if I’ve learned anything since becoming a “real” adult, it’s that there are a heck of a lot more bullies in the real world than any elementary school playground.

3. Finding purpose in my work. I struggle with this one the most. I do not doubt that Social Work is the right profession for me. I am confident that my passion and purpose in this world is to advocate for and be a voice for the disadvantaged. I sometimes struggle with seeing this gift of working with the underprivileged, the “least of these”, as a GIFT rather than a burden. The work is hard, the pay is terrible, and the hours are long. This year especially I am struggling with how I am going to reconcile my career path with my new life as a mom. Working in child welfare is emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding and draining. The average length of time in a position is a year, if you’re one of the lucky ones to not experience an immediate burnout. Add a new baby on top of things, the emotions that come along with being a first-time parent and working simultaneously in field of child welfare and it is even easier to lose focus, passion, and purpose in this work. With that, I struggle with wanting to be home with our daughter instead of spending my days focusing on the welfare of other children. I don’t want to miss those important moments in her life. I want to find balance between being a mother and being a Social Worker. There are many decisions to be made in the next few months when it comes to work as I struggle to prioritize my work as a professional with my work as a mother.

4. Reprioritizing. This ties into the last one a bit. I won’t go into extreme detail on this other than to say that I’ve really been taking a long, hard look at my life and where I want it to go in the next few years. Having a baby certainly causes you to reflect and reprioritize…it’s going to be a long process to get to where I need to or want to be at but I’m open to the challenge.

5. Be the best parent and wife I can possibly be. It’s that simple. I don’t expect to be perfect – I expect to struggle with the demands of being a new parent and I expect our marriage to have its ups and downs as we adjust to this new little person in our lives. I want to be conscious of this and intentional in my actions throughout the next year of transition (and beyond) so that I always show my husband and daughter the love they deserve.

6. Learn to say "no"! I think this ties into the people-pleasing and standing up for myself. Dave always reminds me that my plate is full already and that I have to learn to say "no" to people and things sometime. This one is for me personally to not feel guilty about saying "no" once in a while which should help with the whole reprioritizing thing.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2011-01-03T17:00:00.001-06:00

Dave and I debate whether the next seven weeks will go fast or slow. I’m going with slow. We did learn that an acquaintance couple of ours (friends of our friends) just had their baby girl three weeks early on Christmas day which actually sent a bit of a panic through me (after all, four weeks sounds a lot sooner than seven at this point!) but I’m well aware that it’s not normal to have a baby THAT early and I certainly can’t count on it. I’m still convinced our baby will be the one that arrives fashionably late anyways. Either way, it’s 2011 and we’re officially in the homestretch.

How Far Along: Thirty-three weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: My feet and legs are officially starting to swell and ache. If I didn’t have a real grown-up job I’m pretty sure I would live in my slippers and forgo putting on shoes unless absolutely necessary. Now that I’m at my permanent office full-time, I’m noticing more back pain which is likely a result of sitting all day. Acid reflux has become a constant occurrence which makes eating so very fun. My belly appears to be growing by the minute because I can no longer turn over at night (that may have something to do with a certain bed-hog as well) and as soon as I lay down it becomes nearly impossible to breathe. People tell me it’s normal to feel absolutely uncomfortable towards the end of pregnancy but I guess I never knew when “end of pregnancy” really began. I suppose now that we’re in 2011 the end is most certainly in sight which would explain the constant discomfort.

The Waddle: There are mornings when Dave wakes up and stares at me and so proudly announces, “I swear your belly grew over night!” He may just be right. I notice each day that my pregnancy shirts and sweaters get just a little bit shorter. While I’m well aware of the fact my belly is growing (which rightfully it should be at this point as she gains most of her weight these last few weeks), Dave also so kindly pointed out that I have that pregnant woman walk. Or waddle as he referred to it. He demonstrates it so well – boobs pushed out, a slight lean backwards. I tried explaining that I must be trying to re-center myself since my body is all of a sudden so front-heavy but he just laughed. He said he gets it but it’s still too funny to him.

Nesting: Dave and I like to spend time in her room. I’m hoping the room will be completely finished by the end of January just in case she decides to arrive early. With our showers this weekend, I’m sure her room will feel fuller in no time. Even though he room isn’t quite ready and she’s not even here, we’ve taken to spending time in her room – trying out the rocking chair, listening to music, and reading to her. It’s also become our ironing headquarters. Dave likes to let all his ironing needs pile up so last night we whipped out the ironing board and iron and set up camp in her room for an hour of de-wrinkling the hubby’s wardrobe. Who knew ironing in a nursery could be so relaxing!?

Food Cravings: Ranch dressing…I enjoy dipping just about anything in it but especially bread, french fries, and pizza. Dave found it especially weird that I wanted to dip my pizza in ranch yesterday. I assured him a lot of people eat ranch with their pizza and other random foods but he found it rather weird. He has no clue the deliciousness that he’s missing out on! I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve also taken to breakfast foods throughout my pregnancy which is unusual for me because I’ve never been a breakfast person before. This week it’s all about waffles (sometimes with a few mini chocolate chips sprinkled on top – so very healthy, I know) which is a refreshing change from my pancake and bacon cravings I’ve had for a while.

Birthing Plan: We’ve officially mailed our birthing plan and registration information off to the hospital where we’ll be delivering. I had heard other women talk about creating a birthing plan but never really understood what was meant by that. My plan is to go to the hospital, have an easy labor and delivery, and take home my sweet baby girl. Apparently it doesn’t work like that. Okay, so I wasn’t that naïve to the fact that labor and delivery wouldn’t be a walk in the park but it wasn’t until our birthing class that I really stopped to think about what I wanted out of this whole giving birth experience. I would say that I must have written one of the simplest birthing plans as our wishes and plans are pretty simple and flexible. I know that I want an epidural and possibly IV pain medications – I’m not in denial about my low pain tolerance and feeling the pain of childbirth terrifies me more than the pain of a needle being stuck in my back. I also requested to be able to use the fabulous Kohler whirlpool tubs that they have available in the early stages of labor if I am already at the hospital – I hear they are quite relaxing and can help speed up the early stages of the labor process. My final request was that no visitors are allowed in at any point while I am in labor. Dave and my mom will be with me as support throughout my labor and delivery but other than that, the hospital staff knows not to let anyone past security. Some people like visitors while in labor – I know myself well enough to know I’m a conservative, modest person who gets overwhelmed and stressed easily. With that said, it’s best that I focus on the task at hand (you know, having a baby) instead of feeling the need to “entertain”. We have also requested that no visitors be allowed until an hour or two after she’s born. We want time to try and breastfeed, time for Dave to have alone with her (we learned in our class this is essential shortly after birth), time to be a family of three, and time for me to get showered and have some food. After all is said and done, we’ll notify the rest of our family so that they can be the first to visit once we’re ready and following that, we’ll let our friends know, too. One thing I am aware of is that I may potentially have a difficult time letting others hold her in the very beginning. I feel so strongly that babies need constant cuddling and attention from their parents during those early hours to form those secure attachments and trust (which helps with successful breastfeeding and better sleeping, too!) that I’ll want to keep her close. Other new moms assure me this is a normal reaction but it’s one that I’m afraid others may not understand. Either way, it’s all in our birthing plan and I hear the staff will be wonderful at accommodating to our wishes and needs when the time comes.

The Year in Review

2010-12-29T17:00:00.003-06:00

2010 was a year of highest highs and lowest lows for the Irish’s. Here’s a little peak back at some of this year’s highlights.

In January, we found out that we were expecting our first baby. We hadn’t planned on getting pregnant so quickly but were thrilled when we found out. We couldn’t wait to tell our parents who we knew would share equally in our excitement. We had my parents over for dinner one night to share the news. Dave was surprised I kept it a secret for the first few days and trust me, it took every ounce of willpower in my body not to pick up the phone and call my mom. They were beyond excited, although Dad did keep saying they were too young to be grandparents. We took Dave’s parents to lunch at Olive Garden to tell them the news they’ve been waiting for since their first child got married. Leave it to the baby of the bunch, and the last to marry, to finally give them the grandchild they’ve been waiting so long for. They too were thrilled.

Our excitement lasted just a few short weeks. On February 8 we went in for our first visit with our doctor who after an ultrasound told us that the baby didn’t look to be quite as big for the 8 weeks we thought we were at at that point. She said it could be nothing to worry about and said that she’d monitor my hormone levels with blood work over the next week and we’d come back for another ultrasound in a week. The day after my 24th birthday we went back to the doctor and another ultrasound confirmed our worst fears – the baby had stopped developing and there was no heartbeat. My body was waiting to miscarry. A day later, on February 17, the physical pain was over and we left to deal with the emotional aftermath. To this day, I still believe that was the single worst day of my life. And I still pray that our baby girl is not born this February 17th because that day will always hold memories of our first baby.

Dave was given an exciting new opportunity to change jobs in March. He’s really enjoying his new job with WE Energies and he’s found the position to be exciting, challenging, and full of opportunities to grow. His job allows him so much flexibility which will be great with having a family and his boss has been fabulous to both of us – opening his home and family to us. We were fortunate to sneak in a visit to Dave’s grandma in Arizona this month before he started his new job. It was so nice to spend some time with his grandma in the warm sunshine!

April and May were rather uneventful months for us. We were still grieving the loss of the baby while trying to move forward and start again. We agreed we would let nature take its course and didn’t stress over getting pregnant again. We threw ourselves into house projects as Spring came – painting bedrooms, finishing bathrooms, and digging up some of the old landscaping. It was a welcomed distraction at the time.

June was a month full of changes and surprises to say the least. In mid-June I left my job with the American Cancer Society and found out that I was I was pregnant the very next day. I was relieved to be done with a job that I miserable in and company whose mission I didn’t believe in or support. Admittedly, I was overwhelmed at the thought of starting over at a new job with a baby on the way. Unlike the first time I found out I was pregnant, when Dave was there with me, this time I was home alone and absolutely frightened when that little stick said “pregnant”. I remember calling Dave and then my mom and just crying to both. I was thrilled, anxious, and completely terrified all at once. The next few weeks after that were filled with lots of doctors appointments, a lot of blood work, weekly ultrasounds, and two incredibly anxious parents-to-be!

July brought our worries to an end (for the most part) as we learned that this second pregnancy was not only viable but progressing beautifully. We were able to breathe a few sighs of relief before all those nasty little first-trimester pregnancy symptoms set in. I’m not sure Dave was adequately prepared for all the joys that a successful pregnancy were about to bring him :)

In August, we celebrated our first wedding anniversary! I still can’t believe how quick the first year went. The fact that we experienced one of the most challenging and devastating moments of both of our lives together, during our first year of marriage, made us feel like we could survive the next however many God will bless our lives with. I also had the privilege of celebrating one of my best friend’s marriages in August as Miss. Katharine Nelson became Mrs. Katharine Suwalski. I absolutely loved every minute of her wedding and felt so honored to be a part of one of the most important moments of her life.

In September, after toying with a few job offers and Social Work career paths, I finally started my new position in adoptions with Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin. I’m not sure I fully understood what my position would be at that point in time but I loved the idea of doing something adoption-related. As any Social Worker will tell you, a career in Child Welfare is not for the faint of heart and I am learning that very quickly. So far I’ve experienced an overwhelming mixture of emotions as I’m learning more about Milwaukee’s Child Welfare System, foster care, and special needs adoptions. It’s been a test of my emotional and personal strength and has caused me to take a good long look at where I really want to be in my career and personal life as I prepare to enter the world of balancing motherhood and career. Of course I can’t forget that this month we also found out that we were having a baby girl and the color pink officially began to invade the Irish household!

October again was a rather uneventful month for us…we began getting baby’s room ready and really started focusing on everything that needed to be done around the house before baby’s arrival in just a few months.

November brought Dave’s grandma for a visit from Arizona which made Thanksgiving extra-special this year. Dave headed off to Vegas for a work trip which ultimately served as his last little vacation before life becomes all about diapers, pretty little dresses, and sweet little “Daddy, I love you’s”. We also began our birthing classes this month. I feel like November was over before it even began and we moved onto December. December served as the start of the last trimester of the pregnancy and a clear reminder that baby girl’s arrival is just around the corner. I officially began nesting this month and we’re completely in baby mode at this point. We enjoyed the holidays with our families and a visit from Dave’s sister as the year winds to a close.

I look forward to 2011 with much anticipation. Obviously having a baby is at the top of our list for this upcoming year but there are likely to be many more highs and I’m sure even a few lows to come our way in 2011. Regardless of how the next year plays out, our little family of two will grow and our lives will never be the same…and we couldn’t be any more excited!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-12-27T17:35:00.002-06:00

If my last post didn’t spell it out, we’re officially in baby-preparation mode after what I like to call “a very baby Christmas”. We officially have some of those basic necessities that I have been stressing over the past few weeks. Dave likes to point out that we still have eight weeks but when you’re an over-prepared, type-A, control-freak planner like me, eight weeks sounds a lot closer than it does to my relaxed, calm, level-headed husband. Now that we have her bottles, bedding, and lots of diapers I feel a tad bit more prepared. More on that later…

How Far Along: Thirty-two weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: I might as well be a ninety year-old woman because that’s exactly how I feel. My whole body aches, especially hips. I feel like I’m recovering from a double hip replacement – no matter which side I lay on I am not just uncomfortable but I’m in an unusual amount of pain. I also am having an unusually difficult time breathing, especially when lying down. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack because I can’t seem to get enough air in my nose. It helps to sleep sitting up or propped up. I think the people on the elipticals next to me at the gym must wonder if I’m about to pass out (or give birth) because I can only imagine what my constant gasping for air sounds like to the average Joe. Fortunately, exercising is the one time I do find it easier to breathe and until the doctor instructs me to stop, I’ll continue right along. And of course we cannot forget the constant urge to close my eyes and take a good long nap. Maybe it’s the sleepless nights but all I can think about during the day is how much I just want to nap. Yep, definitely feeling like a ninety year old these days.

Food Cravings: I wouldn’t really call it a craving but I have indulged in an insane amount of Christmas cookies over the past few weeks. Just when I cleared out the stash in our house, our neighbors and in-laws decided we needed some more and alas, the Irish house is stocked yet again! All I can say is thank goodness I’m not in post-baby trying-to-get-back-in-shape mode now. I simply cannot resist the temptation. I always blame my constant need for sugar on the baby which Dave says isn’t fair – it’s a legitimate excuse and I plan to continue to use it for the next 8 weeks. On a healthier note, I have a love of fruit these days, especially those cute little Clementines.

Maternity Clothes: I’m throwing this category back in the mix for the simple fact that I ripped my most favorite pair of maternity pants this past week: my khaki cords. They are like heaven to me – rivaling the comfortability of sweatpants and definitely defeating jeans. I was at work and taking one of my many bathroom breaks when they ripped at the seam, right where the little part that covers the belly meets the cord material. I’m talking a big old hole that left my undies exposed. Thankfully I was wearing a long shirt that day. I refuse to buy new pants at this point and plan to test my sewing skills…or at the very least, a few safety pins should do. When I emailed Dave to tell him of my bathroom pant debacle he indulged in a few laughs but told me really it would’ve been more traumatic had they ripped in a more noticeable place. I don’t think she appreciates the delicacy of finding a perfect fitting, comfortable pair of pants while pregnant.

Nursery Progress: Her furniture is all set up, including the rocker. We’ve got lots of diapers and wipes in the changing table waiting for Dave to put to good use :) She has a cute little pink rug courtesy of Land of Nod. All that’s left are some lamps, a small table, and some toy baskets. I’m working with a friend on creating the wall art for her room so that it matches her bedding. I’m attempting to be half creative and entirely practical in the design of her nursery. I’ve got all tags off her clothes and they are all sorted and waiting to be washed. We have more than enough winter outfits and I am convinced that if she gets one more onesie I will scream. I’m moving onto spring/summer clothes now which are way cuter than winter clothes anyways…hello little sun dresses! We have her car seat all put together and both bases ready to be installed in our cars. We have a nice storage system for her closet that Dave gets to assemble this week while he’s off work (lucky guy). I’d say her room is looking more like a peaceful, sweet little dwelling fit for a princess.

Nesting: As I pointed out, Dave says we still have lots of time before baby arrives but I beg to differ. In fact, I may have become a bit neurotic this weekend and began nesting to the point of driving him absolutely crazy. I emptied every kitchen cabinet to find the perfect arrangement of everything we owned to make an empty cabinet just for her bottles and dishes and other baby items. I also felt the need to clean our hall closet again (I just did so over the summer) so that I’d feel more organized. I’m beginning to think I work harder on my weekend’s off than I do during my workweek…I think this is true of most moms.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Celebrating our last holiday as a family of two. Okay, so maybe we’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day just the two of this year unless she decides to come early but that doesn’t really count as a true holiday anyways (as I’m sure my husband will tell you). It was incredibly surreal this Christmas thinking about how next year we’ll have a 10 month old baby girl to celebrate with…it made us both incredibly excited as we know holidays will be just a little more special with a baby around.

Christmas Highlights

2010-12-26T19:21:00.006-06:00

We had a very merry Christmas this year... we were especially blessed to spend time with our families and to receive such wonderful gifts. Baby girl had a fantastic Christmas, too - it's amazing how many gifts an uborn child can receive. I can only imagine what next Christmas will look like :)

Here are a few highlights from our Christmas this year.

Here's Dave sportin' his new Diaper Dude diaper bag and one of our Lifestyles glass bottles and bottle brush. We're officially stocked with bottles, diapers, and wipes!

Showing off some of baby's new clothes from her great-grandma. Nothing makes me happier than pink outfits with coordinating blankets

Dad looks beyond thrilled that mom made him wear a Santa hat

More baby gear - all of her bedding, changing pad cover, books, lullaby CD (to go in her new CD player, not pictured), and baby Mozart DVD. Did I mention she had a great Christmas?

The one thing we really wanted this Christmas was a video camera so that we don't miss a minute of baby girl's life. We're so thankful to have received it and we cannot wait to start documenting our daughter's life

We put together "grandparents survival kits" for our parents this year, complete with all the fun things that first-time grandparents need to have around their house

Celebrating with the Irish's...Dave's siblings, sister-in-law and myself with Grandma Irish

We were especially lucky to celebrate with Dave's sister, Katie, who was visiting this Christmas from Peru

From Our Growing Family to Yours...

2010-12-24T13:23:00.002-06:00

... we wish you a very merry and blessed Christmas!

I've found myself in a very different frame of mind this Christmas season. It's been interesting preparing for the birth of my own child at a time when we're preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I find myself thinking about Christmas this year from Mary's perspective. I can only imagine what it would have been like to give birth to your Savior...to hold him in your arms and rock him to sleep. Being pregnant at Christmastime has also given me a new perspective on traditions and what I want for our daughter and family in the coming years. I complain to Dave often that so many people around us don't remember that Christmas is about Jesus' birth. They are too busy rushing about purchasing gifts, whipping up tasty treats, or figuring out the logistics of Christmas-day celebrations to truly reflect on why we celebrate in the first place. I don't want our daughter to ever forget the real reason we celebrate Christmas. I want us to bake a cake for Jesus and sing him happy birthday. I want to read the one, true Christmas story with her. I want to limit the number of gifts "Santa" brings so he doesn't overtake our celebrations. I want her to sing songs of praise loudly in front of church on Christmas Eve. There are so many things I wish for our daughter and growing family at Christmastime. I'm so excited to see what next year will bring. Until then, we'll celebrate with our families and enjoy our last Christmas as a family of two :)

Eighty Nine Years

2010-12-20T17:17:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, my great grandmother celebrated her eighty-ninth birthday. Although a few weeks ago at her home’s Christmas party I asked her how old she was going to be she said two-hundred. I suppose it all feels the same when you reach a certain milestone in your life. Either way, we celebrated eighty-nine years of the life of Verna Hay (or May as she insists her middle name is) Kulczyski. She was a bit confused and tired yesterday and I don’t think she even realized we were all there to celebrate her birthday but she enjoyed her two pieces of cake and adorned her neck and wrists with some new jewelry, her accessory of choice.

I am so thankful to have had her in my life for almost twenty-five years. Selfishly, I wish she could in fact live to be 200 because I can’t imagine my life without her.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-12-19T16:30:00.004-06:00

Thirty-one weeks. There's something about typing that thirty that makes me smile.

When we visited the doctor this week, they gave us all sorts of papers with all sorts of tips for "what do to do when nearing term". This included signs of pre-term labor, what to do if your water breaks, and most importantly how to reach the doctor if you think you're in labor. Apparently, once you hit that thirty week mark, they realize the baby could come before your next visit. While she really won't be full-term until 37 weeks, the doctor likes to be prepared for those "just in case" scenarios. Me too, doc! Me too!

Rather than go through my regular weekly update format, I thought I'd share a few other highlights from the past week, most of which came from our doctor's visit. The first big highlight: baby is already head down. In case you aren't quite versed on pregnancy talk, that means that baby is in position for delivery. ALREADY! Now, I know what you're thinking...she still has nine weeks to go. And just because she's head down doesn't mean she'll necessarily come any earlier. In fact, she could still show us more of that stubborn side and decide to come late. What it does mean is that we have one smart baby. No really, we do. Our doctor told us so. Isn't that what every parent wants to hear? :) We're so proud. Actually, my doctor said that since it's my first and my abdominal muscles are all nice and tight still she likely made her way into position and now won't be able to move out of it. It's rather fun to know exactly where she is positioned now because we can get her to kick and high-five regularly. In fact, our doctor enjoyed playing a few tricks with her at our appointment and got some strong movements out of her. Either way, we're bragging that we have a smart baby. Just indulge us a little and go with it, okay?

Not only do we have a smart baby (did I mention that already? oops, my bad!) but I have been a model pregnant patient according to my doctor. While I was having my "I gained four pounds in two weeks!!!!" freak out moment in our exam room after the nurse left, my doctor was across the hall with a woman who had gained nearly 80 pounds in her pregnancy. EIGHTY!! Oh my goodness. So when our doctor entered the room to hear my moans and groans about putting on a few pounds she informed that she wished all her patients could gain the appropriate amount of weight like me and that brought me back to earth a little. No woman wants to hear she's gained weight, even while pregnant BUT it is inevitable and those Christmas cookies are just too good to say no to :)

We're still working on getting her nursery ready and we're eagerly awaiting our two showers in January. We look forward to finally having things to fill her room with and having supplies ready just in case she does decide to come early. For someone like me, who likes to be prepared, I'm itching to have the house all set up and ready, even if her arrival is still weeks away. It's been difficult focusing on Christmas this year (which would explain why I just started my shopping this weekend) while preparing for baby so we'll be thankful when the new year has come and gone and we'll be preparing for what my dad calls our "second Christmas".

A Home for the Holidays

2010-12-15T20:08:00.003-06:00

If you watch just one Christmas program this year, please consider making it CBS's A Home for the Holidays Special.

This Christmas special, sponsored by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and the Children's Action Network, will share stories of families touched by foster care and adoption. The special will be presented by celebrities including Mira Sorvino, Sara Gilbert, Holly Robinson Peete, and Leah Remini. It will also feature performances by some of today's most popular artists including Katy Perry, Maroon 5, Melissa Ethridge, Ricky Martin, and Nelly.

Most importantly, the special will share stories of the more than 114,000 children in the U.S. foster care system. It will remind you that these children are in foster care through no fault of their own but rather as a result of abuse, neglect, or abandonment. That no child is too old to be adopted. That most children wait 3-5 years in the foster care system before being adopted. That it costs virtually nothing to adopt from the foster care system. And that a child is a child no matter what their circumstances and that they all want and deserve a loving, permanent home and family.

A Home for the Holidays will air on CBS on December 22nd at 7pm.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-12-12T10:22:00.007-06:00

Pardon the terribleness of the pictures I post each week. Dave caught me this time in the middle of baking during this Sunday blizzard. He insists that we can only take pictures on Sundays because that's the day that truly marks the beginning of the new week. After morning church I usually trade in for some sweats and that's the point I usually think to take a picture. I swear I actually look much nicer during the work week :)

How Far Along: Thirty weeks. As Dave pointed out today, we are three-quarters of the way to her birth day!

Pregnancy Symptoms: Aching hips and feet. My feet have grown by at least a half size and now that it's officially winter in Wisconsin, I can't get away with wearing flats all the time. I dug out an old pair of winter boots from my mom's closet (since mine no longer fit) and luckily they fit quite well. Putting the boots on is a challenge in themselves but hey, at least my feet won't freeze!

Food Cravings: Chips Ahoy cookies with cold milk. Deeeeelliiisshhh.

The Belly: Well hello big belly! I had thought that I had already "popped" but apparently this was the week in which everyone else thought I popped as well. Everyone from co-workers to family to friends apparently noticed that I was pregnant this week. I even got the "your belly is so big" comment numerous times. While most women dread this comment, I welcomed it after months of hearing that I didn't look pregnant or that my belly appeared to not be growing. There are the occasional people, however, who say absolutely inappropriate things such as "it looks like your hips are getting wider also" or "I can tell you've gained some weight now". Those things...not really what a pregnant lady wants to hear, even if they are true. I'm well aware I'm gaining weight. Hello! I AM pregnant after all. And my hips, well I certainly hope they widen or she won't be able to get out of my belly. This week also drew some feelers - you know, those people who feel the need to touch your belly without asking. I absolutely hate when people touch my belly. Unless your my husband or family, and you've politely asked, there is no reason for you to touch my belly. I'll never understand why people feel that this is okay.

Worst Pregnancy Moment of the Week: The braxton hicks contractions have started and at times can actually be rather intense. They don't come every day and sometimes they only last a few seconds but there can be one or two that really throw my for a loop and I wonder if I'm not about to go into labor. I suppose this is what happens when it's your first baby and you really don't know what to expect. Plus, I'm the first to admit I'm big wuss when it comes to pain... labor should be oh-so-fun for Dave :)

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Lots of movement. We love that she's so active right now and that she's the perfect size (three pounds, 15 inches long) to feel those strong movements in my belly. Dave loves to watch and feel her move and talks to her. I swear she knows exactly who he is because as soon as she hears his voice or feels his hands, she'll follow him or react. It's absolutely precious. I enjoy my quiet time with her and I'm sure she appreciates not having to listen to me talk all day sometimes. I hear these movements start to decrease a little as she gets bigger and has less room to move around in there so we're savoring the moments now.

My First Adoption

2010-12-10T15:53:00.004-06:00

I have been waiting ever-so-patiently (okay, more like incredibly eagerly) since starting my new job to witness my first adoption finalization. Today was finally the day! For those of you familiar with the adoption world, you know the amount of preparation, hard work, emotion, time, and most importantly faith that goes into the adoption process. For children being adopted from the foster care system, this process can last years and includes challenges and demands that range from mandatory birthparent visits to termination of parental rights (TPR) hearings. The process is not for the faint of heart. I like to think that as an Adoption Social Worker I will get as much joy out of an adoption finalization as the family but really, it is the child who we celebrate at these finalization hearings and the true joy lies within the fact that they will forever have a family and that their life in the "system" has finally come to a close.

The adoption I witnessed today was so incredibly beautiful. A beautiful little child was welcomed into their new family with their family and friends present. What I found extra-special about this adoption was the fact that it was an African family adopting an American child. My perspecticve shifted a little. Here I was this American woman with dreams of adopting an African child of my own someday, sitting next to this beautiful African couple who felt the urge to welcome a precious American child into their home. I loved how at one point the judge said, "I believe it really does take a village to raise a child", a true African proverb and a concept that I know will not be lost with this family. I felt incredibly honored to have sat in the court room with this family, their friends, and fellow adoption workers as we witnessed the moment a child was an orphan no more. I witnessed pure love today in the form of adoption and it was simply beautiful.

I will never forget this adoption and this family whose special day I was so privileged to be a part of. It's moments like this that make the challenges of adoption and stress of the social work profession all worth it :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-12-06T19:52:00.001-06:00

We're now certified to become parents. Or so we'd like to think. We completed our final birthing class on Saturday and received a nice little certificate saying we successfully learned everything we need to know to have this baby. Or so we'd like to think. Either way, we're more prepared for birth and newborn care and we're getting more and more excited (and admittedly anxious) with each passing week. To top it off, Wisconsin got its first snowfall this weekend which made it officially feel more like winter...meaning her due date feels that much more close.

How Far Along: 29 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Same old, same old....exhaustion, leg cramps, hip pain, inability to sleep, and forgetfulness. I'm officially at the point where I cannot tie my shoes and shaving my legs is nearly impossible. I tend to be more clumsy these days, dropping things all day long, and it's nearly impossible to bend over comfortably. Thankfully, I don't even have to ask Dave to pick up things off the floor anymore - he's so good to me. I'm especially moody these days. One minute I'm happy and the next, well Dave will tell you the littlest thing will just send me over the edge. He was so happy to hear in our birthing class that those mood swings don't go away for quite some time after birth. Here he thought my hormones would go back to normal after having the baby. Poor guy :)

Nursery Progress: She has furniture! And curtains! But that's about it. We are so thankful to my parents who spent their Sunday helping us pick up our nursery furniture and who stayed to help get it assembled. I knew that I wouldn't be of much use to Dave when it came to setting up the crib so my Dad stuck around to help. They did a fabulous job and her room is slowly coming together. Remember last week when I said how disappointed I was that they didn't have our furniture in white? Well I'm glad they didn't because the Espresso-colored furniture looks so absolutely perfect with the light pink walls and white woodwork. We found a beautiful, inexpensive rocking chair at Target that my parents decided to purchase for me as an early birthday present and we can't wait for it to be delivered. Her room is finally starting to come together...just a few accessories to soften it up a little and prepare it for practical use and we'll be ready for baby!

Food Cravings: Chocolate chip pancakes. Thankfully, the hubby makes killer pancakes and the past few Sunday mornings he has so graciously dragged his butt out of bed to make me a delicious breakfast. I'm enjoying fruit recently, especially organic oranges and clementines. I still love pasta and bread and cannot seem to get enough milk and cheese!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Besides getting her crib put together and the fact that her room is starting to look more like a nursery, the best moment of the week was finally being able to distinguish her feet and hands with her movements. She's been moving a lot for quite a few weeks now but until this week, her movements were rather random and it she turned so often it was hard to tell what body part was where. This week we've felt some strong kicks and I've even noticed a tiny foot on my belly. Today she gave me a strong kick when I poked her little foot and she attempts to high-five Dave when he asks real nice :)

The Big Three

2010-12-04T18:13:00.003-06:00

Throughout this pregnancy there are three things that people consistently either comment on or ask me about. Chances are, if we've talked in the past seven months, you've probably been among those people. I'm sure many women get these questions while pregnant so I thought I'd share what "the big three" are and how I usually answer.

Number One: "You're still so tiny!"

I get this one A LOT! In fact, I still get shocked looks when I mention being pregnant to people I have never met before. Now I completely understand that most people don't like to assume that a woman is pregnant for fear of insulting them if they are in fact not but common, I'm seven months pregnant and have what appears to be a basketball protruding from my stomach. The rest of my body has remained the same. It's pretty obvious that I'm not just gaining a little weight in my mid-section these days. Once people get over the shock of me telling them how far along I am, they usually ask what my secret is to keeping my belly small. I wish I could take all the credit here but the truth is, it all has to do with my body structure. I have a very long torso and my doctor says that being long and lean means baby has more room to grow vertically instead of outwards, resulting in that unusually large baby bump that some women get. She also said that since I continue to exercise daily and haven't been over-indulging in sweet cravings or "eating for two" as most pregnant women often do, I'm not gaining any unnecessary weight. Only what baby needs to live comfortably in there. While I used to get upset or offended when people made this comment, now I just laugh and remind myself that maybe that means it'll be easier to get back to my pre-baby weight a little quicker than usual. A girl can dream, can't she?

Number Two: "Do you have a name picked out?"

The answer is simple. Yes. We actually had her name picked out very early in the pregnancy, before we even found out she was a girl. The part of answering this question that most people don't like is when I say we aren't telling anyone until after she's born. I learned quickly during our first pregnancy, and even early in this one, that people have an opinion about everything, especially baby names. I remember sharing a few names from our list with family and friends during our last pregnancy and people's reactions astonished me - they would tell us it reminded them of someone famous or someone they knew, they'd make a weird face, or they'd ask where in the world we came up with that one. While we settled on a name early on, I still hesitated to call her by her name (and still do at times) because I know how easily I can change my mind. Dave, on the other hand, calls her by her name daily and she actually responds to him regularly. I feel like at this point there's no turning back without confusing the poor baby what her name is. I will say that a few days ago I was watching the Today show when someone from Baby Center came on to announce the top baby names of 2010. While we knew our baby's name (both first and middle) were among the top 100, I was floored to see just how high her name debuted on the list and immediately felt disappointed. While it's flattering that so many other people find her name just as beautiful, I felt myself wondering if it was wrong to give her such a popular name. Would she always have her last initial tacked onto the end of her name to distinguish her from the others with her name? Would she feel cheated of an original, unique name? Was it selfish to give her such a popular name just because we loved it so much and think it's absolutely perfect for her? I'm sure I'll continue to ponder these things for the next 11 weeks or so but at this point, I just can't imagine her being called anything else. Guess you'll all have to wait in suspense for a few more weeks to find out the full answer to this question.

Number Three: "Are you going to go back to work full-time after having the baby?"

I hate this question. Mostly because I hate the answer. Yes, I am going to be returning to work full-time after having the baby. And it breaks my heart. She already has my heart wrapped around her little fingers. I've mentioned before how difficult it was to determine what our childcare would look like when Dave and I have to go back to work after she's born. I still feel an overwhelming amount of guilt for having to go back to work but I do know that in the end, it is what is best for her and our family. I've worked hard to get my Master's degree and have a career that is rewarding for both me and the children and families I work with. Adoption is my passion and I am excited to started a career as an Adoption Social Worker. And our family, at this point in time, works best with two incomes. I do know, however, that I would ideally like to work part-time in the near future. Eventually, especially after having our second child, I would like to stay home full-time until our children are all in school. The beautiful part of having a Master's degree in Social Work is that the profession is flexible and there are many career paths within Social Work. I could continue to work part-time in Child Welfare, work as an independent Adoption Consultant, or take a few years off before jumping back in. While I know that working with a new baby is going to be incredibly challenging for me personally, I think it's the guilt of leaving her with someone other than me or Dave that gets to me the most. Children do best with their biological families - this is what I hear on a daily basis working with foster and adoptive families. Of course we'll have our set way of raising her - our schedule, values, rules, and norms - and these are things that everyone else will do just a bit different. I would prefer she's with me or Dave at all times but I trust that our childcare facility and my mom (her two primary caregivers aside from us) will not only respect our way of parenting and provide consistency for her, they will provide great, quality care, learning, and plenty of love for her.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-11-28T17:37:00.006-06:00

Week 27

Week 28 (and a sneak-peak at our Christmas tree

I had been doing so well with posting during each week of our pregnancy until last week. I kept reminding myself to do it but somehow the week just got away from me...I'm blaming Thanksgiving, work, and exhaustion for that one :)

Anyways, here we are officially in the third trimester in our twenty-eight week. That means just 12 short weeks left. Dave's convinced she'll come early but I'm still thinking she'll be within a few days of her due date (February 20). The third trimester is starting to feel a lot like the first - more about that later.

How Far Along: 28 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The nausea has returned although it is much more manageable than the first trimester. At this point, I can control the nausea with food which means I am eating all day and all night. Which also means that I'm back to not sleeping much. Between having to get up to pee or eat every hour or two and the uncomfortable leg and hip pains, my sleep is rather interrupted these days, leaving me feeling incredibly exhausted in the morning. Baby girl has quite a regular pattern developing and it's been consistently the past three weeks. She's sure to let me know when she's ready for more food or for me to be awake, usually waking me for good between 2 and 3am. This means I try to get to bed as early as possible so that I can get a couple hours of sleep in. If this is anything how motherhood will be, I think my body will be conditioned quite nicely.

Food Cravings: I experienced a miracle in the food department this week - cravings for raw veggies. Yes, V-E-G-G-I-E-S!!! Crunchy, raw veggies with veggie dip. I am the first to admit that I dislike most vegetables so I took this cravings and ran with it. Unfortunately, this was a rather short-lived craving. I still can't get enough cheese and milk these days, though.

Nursery Progress: We have furniture! Well, we technically purchased furniture but it's waiting at the store until next weekend when my parents can bring their handy pick-up truck to help with the transporting. I plan to do an entire post dedicated to her nursery once it's finished but for now, I'll tell you that I had to make some compromises when it came to her furniture. I had this great vision of white for her room - all the woodwork is white, there's a white chair rail around the middle, the windows are white...I planned to do white furniture and accent with pinks, orange, and green. Dave and I initially picked out our furniture when I was just 12 weeks pregnant but ended up finding it a bit cheaper at a new store that recently opened. I guess we thought we'd have more time than we actually had because it turns out baby stores don't really keep furniture in stock in all the color options, despite the fact that their display signs suggest otherwise. When we went to purchase her crib and changer/dresser combo on Sunday, we learned it would take 12 weeks for the envisioned white furniture to arrive. You do the math. I wasn't ready to gamble with the fact that our daughter may arrive without any furniture. I'm a planner and I knew I'd want her room all set and ready, clothes neatly in place. So I settled for the espresso color. I sulked for a bit and got angry with myself for not asking about what they had in stock sooner but in the end, furniture is furniture and her room will still be beautiful. And she really won't know the difference. The best part is we got an amazing deal on the furniture, spending less than we anticipated and staying within the amount that my parents so graciously gave us. Lesson learned in all of this: plan far, far ahead if you're purchasing baby furniture. It's an expensive purchase that should be well though-out in terms of safety and durability, but in the end, it's better to purchase earlier rather than later.

Pregnancy Dream of the Week: Last week I had a crazy dream that I was having coffee with Michelle Obama and her daughters in Milwaukee's Third Ward. Dave's boss was also there which to me was more weird than Michelle Obama being in the dream. I have no recollection of what we talked about or any other part of the dream but it was rather odd. I did have another dream about baby girl being born... this time I was at the hospital and my friend from high school, Kendall, was also their giving birth (although she didn't know she was pregnant). As long as these dreams don't become nightmares, I am rather content with thinking about her birth.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: We had our first birthing class during the 27th week (with our final one being next Saturday). I was so incredibly anxious about these classes. I know they are meant to help ease some anxieties about giving birth but for me, it only provoked my anxieties. Thankfully, the instructor was fabulous and a friend of my mom and she really helped normalize the anxieties and fears all of us soon-to-be moms were feeling. This turned out to be one of the best parts of the pregnancy and made me even more excited for her birth. We learned all about the birthing process, what to expect, relaxation techniques, and took a tour of the birthing center. In our next class, we'll go over newborn care which I'm really looking forward to Dave learning... especially if it involves learning how to change a diaper :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-11-14T17:32:00.004-06:00

How Far Along: 26 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Constipation and hemorrhoids. Dave says to leave it at that. I pride myself on being completely honest about pregnancy and well, admitting to that is about as honest as it gets. Sorry to get personal on you but I couldn't paint an accurate description of pregnancy at this point without pointing out those two lovely side effects that come along with pregnancy. There is no shame in my game here, people.

Food Cravings: Cheese. Milk. Fresh bagels. French fries. Chocolate shakes.

Nursery Progress: Dave re-painted baby girl's room this weekend and it turned out beautifully! For those who don't know, pregnant women can be very indecisive (surprise, surprise!). We originally painted her room back at the end of September. We picked out the paint on a weekend I was sick which was the first mistake - all I wanted was to get out of the paint store and into my PJ's at home. The second mistake - letting my husband finish painting the entire room before figuring out that the color was just too pink. I like to describe the original color as "Pepto-Bismal throw-up". It literally looked like the stuff exploded on the walls. Well, after that I decided to pick out a few samples and paint them on the walls for a good month just to be sure I was making the right decision this time. I am completely satisfied with the new color and am looking forward to moving forward in the decorating process.

Pregnancy Dream of the Week: I'm adding this category because I have been having the most vivid dreams while pregnant. In fact, for the past few months, I've died in my sleep every single night. I suppose someone could tell me some meaning behind this but I think I'd rather not know. Usually I wake up after each dream and there tend to be several each night. Last night, I dreamt that our baby was born. She arrived 13 weeks early (just a week from today), she weighed about two pounds, and she had the loudest set of lungs I've ever heard. She was completely healthy and we took her home just a couple of weeks after she was born. It was so vivid - I remember that the birth was painless (clearly a dream) and that I held her for hours just staring in awe of how tiny she was. I'm praying this is one dream that doesn't come true because I'm certain she's not quite ready to come out yet.

My "Crazy Pregnant Woman" Moment of the Week: I'm adding this category for Dave because he will tell you that pregnancy makes women crazy. Or maybe just me. Either way, I tend to have at least one crazy pregnant woman moment a week and yesterday was no exception. While attempting to make dinner last night, I managed to knock over an entire large-sized can of tomato soup as I was reaching for a spoon to stir the ground turkey browning on the stove top. No big deal, right? Maybe to a non-hormonal pregnant woman. I lost it. The tomato soup ran all over the counter, onto my clean white stove, in the little crack between the counter and the stove top, all over my utensil holder...it was a tomato mess in my kitchen. I began grabbing paper towels as the meat started to burn a little and the tears began to well in my eyes. Then they began to flow. And then I began to yell at the soup. And the meat. And the hubby. And then I cried a good cry and declared we weren't eating dinner that night. I Went to our bedroom and had a good two minute, two-year-old tantrum before emerging. I headed back to the kitchen where the hubby had already cleaned up the soup mess and calmed the burning meat. Yes, only a pregnant woman would go crazy over spilled tomato soup.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Shopping for adorable baby girl clothes. I've been doing good at not splurging every time I head to the store. This week, I had planned to meet up with my good friend (and grad school roommate) Kelsey for lunch and shopping at the outlet mall in Johnson Creek. I'd say it was a successful shopping trip because I came home with lots of new outfits for baby girl (and a few maternity things for me). And not only that, but I got to spend quality time with "Aunt Kelsey" as she'll be known to baby girl - she went to all the baby stores with me, picked out the cutest outfits, and reminded me why we've been friends since the fifth grade. Thank you Kelsey for a fabulous day! I can't wait to dress baby girl in the cute clothes you helped pick out :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-11-10T20:55:00.006-06:00

Twenty-five weeks. That sounds like so many to me. Especially when I think about how that means we only have 15 weeks left, maybe even less (hopefully not more). Eeeks. We've got lots to do before baby girl's arrival.

I've had so many random pregnancy-related thoughts on my mind these days so I'm dedicating this week's post to getting them out on (cyber) paper.

My first random thought: people don't really want to hear about your pregnancy. I take this one with a grain of salt. I know that there are people who are genuinely interested in the fact that we're about to become parents but I'm learning that I must tread lightly when it comes to this topic. I realize that while pregnancy consumes nearly every aspect of my daily life these days, I do need to function as a regular adult to the outside world. I tend to only discuss my pregnancy when asked, especially by co-workers or friends and at that, I always feel like I need to be aware of cues as to when enough is enough and it's time to move onto the next topic. This week I've been especially thankful to talk with two close friends who really did show an interest in the fact that we're about to become parents and they let me dwell on this for a while in our conversations (thank you Kate and Kelly!). This brings me to another related thought: it would be nice to have friends who are pregnant at the same time as me. I struggle with being at the age that I'm at because so many of my friends are in such different places in their lives. I have just a few who are married, one with a young daughter, a few in serious relationships, and many more who as single as can be. If you would've asked me in high school what life would look like mid-twenties, I would've guessed we'd all be married and having our first babies. At the same time, of course. Sometimes I wish I had girlfriends I could call who remembered what it was like to be pregnant, who could tell me what to expect as a new mom, and provide me with that sense of sisterhood that I see so many moms sharing with one another.

Random thought numero dos: nobody can adequately prepare you for pregnancy or motherhood. Especially not that What to Expect When Expecting book (the worst pregnancy book out there in my opinion). There are so many changes happening to me physically and emotionally that weren't in those little books or emails I've been reading. And nobody could really prepare me for the pure exhaustion I am feeling at this point. I was telling a friend tonight how I really do feel like a 90 year old woman these days - I could nap all day and my joints ache like they've been put to good use all those years. And motherhood, well that's one I'm still trying to figure out. I've been having so many vivid dreams about our daughter and even our other future children (we always have three girls and one boy, surprisingly). I pray they don't grow as fast as parents always say they do because my dreams already have our oldest daughter getting married and well, I'm thinking I'll already have a hard enough time watching her grow from newborn to infant to toddler.

Thought number three: pregnant women aren't really all that nice to one another. I thought that when you became pregnant you joined this elite little group of women who could talk cravings, nausea, and babies all day long. My experiences lately are telling me that I was quite wrong on this one. Some pregnant women give what feels like the evil eye, or even worse, a complete stare-down. I am completely weirded out when people stare at my stomach as if trying to decipher if I'm just packing on a few pounds or not, but pregnant women stare in a way that makes me feel like I'm being judged - from the size of my belly to the clothes that cover it. Enough said on this one.

Oh how so many more random thoughts come to mind while just writing this, which is quite ironic considering I can't remember anything that I want or need to when I must. I think pregnancy brain is actually quite legitimate and I intend to continue to use it as my excuse for my forgetfulness for as long as I can :)

Onto week twenty-six...

Why the Rush?

2010-11-06T16:39:00.002-05:00

Am I the only person who finds it absolutely crazy that stores are already in full Christmas mode? Not only that, but I'm starting to hear Christmas music on the radio and I'm already being asked for my Christmas list. The hustle and bustle of the holiday season isn't just upon us - it appears that it has already arrived, and in full-swing. This absolutely disgusts me. I feel like Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year and nothing drives me more crazy than those people who get all their Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving has even come and gone. Why the rush? Since when did we just skip over the importance of Thanksgiving? Since when did Christmas become all about gifts and finding the best sales with the best coupons?

Maybe I haven't noticed this as much in the past but this year I am especially struggling with the way that society changes the true meaning of Christmas. I hate that I'm asked to tell people what I want so that they can go purchase those exact items. What happened to finding that perfect gift for someone? A gift that is thought-felt and truly special? I can tell you, it isn't nearly as much fun to take a list to the store - a list with exact sizes, colors, and brands already spelled out for me. And to be quite honest, it isn't as much fun to know everything you're going to be getting for Christmas. Sometimes I want to throw up my hands and say, "time out!!" Why must we buy gifts anyways? Why can't we spend time together... share a home-cooked meal... spend a few minutes reflecting on the true, real meaning of Christmas?

I look forward to how much holidays will change when our daughter is here. I don't want Christmas or birthdays or any other holiday to be about gifts - in fact, I don't want her to grow up equating special events like the holidays with presents. I want her to understand the significance of these days and why we celebrate them in the first place. I hope when our daughter thinks of Christmas she thinks of Jesus before Santa. I hope she thinks of baking cookies with her grandma instead of what gift she'll get to open on Christmas eve. I hope she opens her mouth to sing Christmas carols rather than spew out her Christmas list. Oh how the holidays will change with a little one around! I look foward to starting new traditions, celebrating as a family of three, and really reflecting on what holidays are meant for: family, fellowship, and food.

I'm praying the world and people around me will slow down a little. Let's focus on the turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and what we're thankful for first before getting caught up in society's overplayed hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

Remembering the GOD in Godparents

2010-11-04T16:49:00.004-05:00

While chatting with some fellow co-workers today we came upon the subject of religion and then eventually that of Godparents and the role of baptism. While I understand religion is a very personal thing for most, I usually enjoy sharing my faith journey with others and hearing about what God has done in their lives. Today, I suddenly found myself in a very uncomfortable position as I was caught in a conversation with those who didn't have a relationship with God. Sitting among people who openly reject God in their lives is never easy or comfortable for me. But when our conversation turned to the role of Godparents, I found my comfort level dropping even further.

During our conversation, one person suggested that being a Godparent has nothing to do with religion or faith. In fact, she pointed out that she fulfills the role of Godmother and also happens to be an atheist. Another suggested that a Godparent is simply someone who you want to take care of your kids if something happens to you. One person shared how she was never baptized and another suggested that baptism is simply a product of the days when babies were baptized for the sake of avoiding death by the plague. As a Christian, my views on both of these subjects are quite different. In fact, these are two things that Dave and I have been discussing recently in preparation of our daughter's birth.

To us, Godparents are more than just people who we want to take care of our child if something happens to us. In fact, we see the role as quite different than that. God-forbid something were to happen to both Dave and I, the people we have chosen to be Godparents to our daughter will not be the same people who assume legal guardianship of her. Rather, we have chosen two people to be Godparents because to us, this role does in fact have everything to do with faith and religion. We want to keep the "God" part of the role at the forefront. I've had this discussion with others before and Dave and I talked about it extensively as well. Would we pick our siblings or cousins to be Godparents simply because they are family? I know many people do this but for us, we really had to look beyond that. We knew we wanted to choose people who would serve as strong examples of what it means to live a Christian life. By this, we don't mean people who simply attend church regularly or profess God as their Father. We looked at our own lives and the values we want to instill in our daughter and wanted the people we chose as Godparents to reflect those values as well. To us, these people were those who truly lived as Christian men and women on a daily basis. They are people who have encouraged us in our faith journeys and who we know will teach our daughter strong Christian values. These will be people our daughter can turn to when she may be struggling with matters of faith throughout her life. They will provide her with guidance and love in the same way that Dave and I will. The people we have chosen to fulfill this special role have shared in the joyous, special occasions in our lives. They have watched us grow and have continued to support us as Christian husband and wife. That is what a Godparent means to us. I cannot imagine simply selecting someone to fulfill this very special role in our daughter's life simply because we like them or because they share our blood.

I know people will begin to ask who we've chosen as baby's Godparents but at this time we're not able to say. We haven't actually asked either person just yet. When we do, we hope that they'll consider what we're asking of them and truly accept that role as we intend and pray that it will be in our daughter's life. I simply wanted to share my thoughts on this topic while it was on my mind today.

I'm curious what other new parents feel about the role of Godparents in their children's' lives. What do others feel the role of Godparents should be and how have they selected the people that will fulfill these roles?

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-11-02T20:43:00.003-05:00

If my lack of blogging and delay in writing this weekly pregnancy post aren't enough of an idication on how pregnancy is treating me these days, then let me be frank with you - the energy is majorly lacking. And by majorly lacking I mean basically nonexistent. Between work and keeping up with the cleaning and other household responsibilities, I don't have much energy at the end of the night to do much more than head the gym and then perch myself on the couch until I fall asleep at a nice early hour. There are so many more things I intend to blog about each week but putting up my feet and taking a nap always sounds like much better option than heading to the computer. So I apologize for the boringness that this blog has become. For those still following our pregnancy journey, I hope these weekly posts are satisfying your curiosity for now.

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Exhaustion. Round ligament pains in the belly (yes, it's growing slowly but surely). Continuous leg and hip pain - we discussed this with my doctor at tonight's visit and she said unfortunately, there isn't much that can help with this. She suggested getting more potassium in foods such as tomatoes but I would much rather suffer some leg pain that eat a tomato. She said that as long as I continue to eat bananas, get enough calcium, and stretch when exercising, I should be able to minimize the pain. Her other suggestion was to delivery the baby but she was quick to point out that really isn't an option at this point... thanks Doc.

Food Cravings: Cheese. The craving is officially back, mostly in the form of string cheese, cheese and crackers, and cheese-flavored crackers. This week I really craved ham so I made a delicious turkey ham that satisfied the craving for three whole days. I continue to bribe baby girl to move with a little piece of chocolate each day and it never fails... and it always makes me a happy lady as well.

What I Miss Most: Sleeping through the night. Early in the pregnancy I had insomnia and wasn't sleeping well. For the past 10 weeks or so, I've finally gotten back on a pretty good sleeping schedule. I had been falling asleep early and staying asleep most of the night except for a trip or two the the bathroom (thanks to growing baby situated on the bladder). Now baby girl is developing a more regular schedule of movement which is contributing to my lack of sleep. She always wakes me at 3am and 6am to remind me that she's hungry and that she's wide awake. I usually spend the remainder of the night tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position that doesn't aggravate the hip and leg pain. Thank goodness for body pillows - they are a pregnancy lifesaver. Unfortunately, our bed isn't big enough for the four of us (yes, I consider the body pillow a person given the amount of space it takes up). When Dave was away on business last week, I slept so much better, probably because I got the whole bed to myself to spread out in. He may just have to start sleeping on the couch soon don't you all think?? :)

Maternity Clothes: I'm managing with what I've got. And thanks to my mom, I've got a few more sweaters to keep me warm. She let me dig in her closet for some longer sweaters that tie or zip that fit perfectly over a maternity shirt when left open. I suppose it's a good thing that the belly is growing slowly because I can still wear a few of my non-pregnancy sweaters from last year - I'm hoping to get by with this for a few more weeks yet.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Registering for baby. This is a daunting task but it makes the pregnancy seem even more real and helped us narrow down our Christmas lists since our families are already asking (it's wayyyy too soon for us to think about Christmas but we know we'd rather have things for baby than ourselves this year). Dave says the best part this week was our 24 week appointment where we got to hear baby's heartbeat again. We're always amazed at how strong and clear her heartbeat is - it's a miracle to hear her tiny heart beating inside of me and it never ceases to amaze us.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-10-24T18:19:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 23 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: There are so many things about pregnancy that I wasn't aware of until recently. Like nosebleeds - I don't recall ever having one in my life until this past week when a regular old sneeze led to a nose bleed. After further research, I realized this is actually quite common during pregnancy. I also didn't realize that my feet could actually grow. I was aware of foot swelling during pregnancy but my feet have grown a good half size larger. All my shoes are too tight and I come home from work begging Dave for a foot rub - to which he usually obliges and during which I usually laugh hysterically from how much it tickles. I was told that my feet wouldn't magically shrink back that half size after I have the baby but I'm still holding out hope that maybe it's just some swelling that's making them feel longer. I love buying shoes as much as the next girl but not if my feet are going to go back to their regular size in a few months. I'm still having awful leg and hip pains that only seem to get worse each week. They are making sleep impossible and incredibly uncomfortable.

Food Cravings: Those cheese cravings are slowly finding their way back into my life. I'm careful not to over-indulge in them for fear I may end up really disliking cheese after this pregnancy and I certainly don't want to go that route. I'm still eating lots of bread and pasta and chocolate... oh chocolate! It's my new best friend. Baby loves her some chocolate and it's a sure way to get her moving. I'm good about limiting that each day as well but it's definitely a lot harder to resist while pregnant. The worst craving of the week was Pic N' Save's chocolate chip muffins from the bakery. All week I would tell Dave I wanted one but held out until Friday night's grocery shopping to indulge. Imagine my great shock and disappointment when I head to the bakery only to learn they no longer carry the ones I love and that they've been replaced by these nasty little things. Nothing is worse than a craving that cannot be satisfied. If you've ever been pregnant, you can appreciate my pain on this one :)

What I Love Most about Being Pregnant: Instead of a "what I miss" this week I thought I'd share what I love the most about being pregnant right now and that is feeling her move. In the past week alone her movements have really intensified and she's developing a more regular pattern. She wakes me up nice and early with her kicks, usually to tell me it's time to eat. I have a feeling this will be a familiar pattern come February. Dave has been enjoying feeling her kicks as well now that they are getting stronger. This week we started reading to her and playing music for her to really get her going. It is so amazing to think that those tiny movements I feel inside me are coming from my daughter.

Maternity Clothes: I hate maternity clothes. I started out appreciating their comfortability - and by that I mean no buttons and lots of elastic. As my belly is growing, I realize just how uncomfortable they can be. The butt on my pants is always saggy and shirts just still aren't long enough since I started with a long torso to begin with. And the selection is just pitiful, at least at all reasonably-priced stores like Kohls and Target. And since I cannot justifying spending $100 on a pair of pants at Gap Maternity that I'll only wear for a few short months, I have no choice but to pull on those frumpy, saggy pants. So yes, you'll likely see me in the same few outfits and I make no apologies.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Buying baby the most adorable designer clothes at 65% off. My mom's friend Amy and her daughter invited us to this fabulous designer warehouse sale in Milwaukee's Third Ward today and I am so glad we went! They had the most beautiful dresses for little girls... clothes that I would never have been able to afford or even dare to buy for a baby unless they were on sale like they were today. I wish I had taken pictures before mom hijacked them to show the ladies at her work. Mom bought her this beautiful long, wool, pink and black pea coat for next winter, when she's closer to a year old. The best part was the price - only $45 for a $250 coat! Baby girl is going to be styling. We bought lots of beautiful dresses for the upcoming year, too. It was so much fun picking out special stuff for her - stuff that's just a little bit nicer than the rest of her wardrobe. It's always nice to find unique baby clothes.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-10-17T15:06:00.006-05:00

Twenty-two weeks. 22 just so happens to be my favorite number, too. While I wouldn't mind if she decided to make her debut a week or two early, I think 2/22 would be a good birthday for baby girl. If she decided to arrive on my birthday I wouldn't object either :)

This post will take on a little different format. I feel like I've hit the point in the pregnancy where I've really begun to process the fact that in 18 weeks (give or take) I'll have a daughter. Dave and I will become entirely responsible for the well-being of a little human being. Everything we do - every decision we make - will impact her life. Talk about responsibility. These are things that we talked about before we even decided to have a baby but suddenly, when you become pregnant and you watch this tiny life grow inside of you, the future becomes so much more real.

We've been spending time talking about our hopes and dreams for our daughter. We talk about the values we hope to instill in her, the type of parents we hope to be, and what we think her future might look like. We reflect on our own childhoods - what were our favorite parts? What did our parents do while raising us that we will or won't do? What family traditions will we have? I enjoy thinking about all the things I hope to do with my own daughter. I think about my relationship with my mother and how thankful I am to have her as one my best friends. I look forward to watching her relationship with my daughter grow, too - I think she'll be the most wonderful grandmother and I know she'll share an extra special bond with her the way that only grandmothers can.

This week I've realized that pregnancy has heightened my sensitivity towards others, especially the poor and lonely. The homeless man in the park who watches as Dave and I enjoy our lunch on a nearby picnic table; the elderly lady behind me at the grocery store who didn't have the money to pay for her bread and potatoes; the woman who sat alone in front of me on a Saturday night at the movie theater - each of them broke me in a way that was different than before. The hormones have also instilled some crazy emotions and fears in me. I worry now more than ever before that something is going to happen to Dave, leaving me alone with a baby and leaving our daughter without a father. I suppose these are all normal parts of pregnancy but this week I've noticed them more than others.

My favorite part of this past week was hearing people say that I finally looked pregnant. Not just on one day, in a particular outfit, but every day. For weeks people have been telling me that I just don't look too pregnant yet - that sometimes if I wore the right shirt, you could maybe make out a baby bump. I hated that in-between phase. But this week, the baby bump just grew and grew. I told Dave that sometimes I felt like it grew from the time I got dressed in the morning to the time I get ready for bed. It's certainly fun watching the progression and reading about how she's growing in there. And her kicking is really starting to increase. Dave got to feel a few good kicks this week but she still keeps the strong ones just for her mommy.

Week twenty-two. I'm so happy we're more than half-way to meeting our daughter.

A Calling

2010-10-14T17:11:00.004-05:00

So many people have asked me over the past few weeks how my new job is going. I never really know how to answer that question - partly because I'm still in training and partly because I just don't know how to answer that question. In the past month of the new job, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, confused, unsure, and surprised. The job I thought I was getting into is actually quite different than what I thought it would be and the adoption world I am joining is very very different than the one that I am familiar with. While all that is true, it doesn't mean that I don't, or will not, like the job and that I won't do well in it. In fact, the more I learn each day about the job and about Child Welfare, the more the uncertainty, confusion, and overwhelming feelings fade. You see, while I work for a private Child Welfare agency, I am working with the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare - the State's Child Welfare institution. In essence, while I am working for a private agency, I am not working in the area of private adoptions. All of the children I will work with will be Milwaukee County foster children - they are children with special needs, children with significant issues (mostly behavioral), and children who likely have a long history in the child welfare system. It can be incredibly difficult to find adoptive families for these children, especially the older children. The process for adopting these children is also very different than what I am used to. While there are homestudies and licensing regulations, most families work with the biological families prior to the adoption - they may first be foster parents and have a series of visits with the children prior to determining if adoption is a good fit. It is a complex process and system that I am learning so much about.

So what made me so unsure and confused in the beginning? I always said I didn't want to work for the Bureau. I never wanted to work in Child Protective Services. And I certainly never wanted to detain children... I don't want to be responsible for physically taking a child from their parents. A part of the training that I am completing for this new job is a 12 week academy through the Bureau. I am training with people who will in fact be the social workers responsible for detaining children, social workers who will serve as ongoing case managers, and those who will work on creating safety plans so that children can remain with their biological children after abuse or maltreatment takes place. These first few weeks I've found my personal views on child welfare being challenged - my personal opinions on what should happen to a child or parent when abuse or neglect takes place at times contradict what I am being told I must profesionally value. You can imagine how difficult it is to manage conflicting personal and professional values... especially those that challenge my religious beliefs.

This past Sunday our pastor shared a sermon as a part of our Discovering Transformation series. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. He spoke about work and how we're gifted by God to work. That work is done, should be done, to honor God. We really have three ways to look at our work: as a job, as a career, or as a calling. We can decide to work because we need to have a job to pay the bills and support our families. We can have a career that focuses on our personal accomplishments and growth within a job. Or we can consider our work our calling - a gift from God that challenges us to partner with Him to make a difference in the world. When I took this new job, I think I first thought of it as just a job. We were having a baby and I knew that we would need two incomes to be able to provide for her basic needs. Then I began to think of it as the start to my career - here I was turning my personal passion into my career. I saw this job as a starting point to eventually working in the area of private international adoptions (and yes, I still do hope to eventually work for a Christian, private adoption agency that specializes in international adoptions). What I didn't realize was that this is truly my calling and I need to change my frame of mind to really see it that way. While I am certainly providing for my family and furthering my career, first and foremost, I am making a difference. I am using the passion, gifts, and opportunities that God has given me to make a difference in the lives of children who need and deserve loving, forever families. I am literally following his command to care for orphans and defend the cause of the fatherless. I am blessed to have the opportunity to answer His call - to walk hand in hand with Him to change the lives of children and families in my own community. I think God knew I needed that reassurance and comfort on Sunday about my work as an Adoption Social Worker. I needed to know that He really needs me to wake up each morning and head to my job because if I didn't, His work just wouldn't be complete.

While I still have much to learn about the logistics and realities of my job and child welfare in general, I am feeling much more confident and excited about my new position. I know I will continue to struggle with some of the professional and personal beliefs in relation to this position, I am approaching them with an open mind and am being flexible about my need to be open to change. While I know this isn't the position I'll be in forever, it is the perfect position for me at this point in my life. It also happens to be the position God needed to put me in to be His partner in this world.

So, if in the past few weeks you've asked me how the new job is going and I haven't really answered, go ahead and ask me again. I may just have a different answer :)

Fall

2010-10-11T07:30:00.009-05:00

Dave and I just had to get out and enjoy the beautiful, unseasonably-warm Wisconsin weather this weekend so we headed to Harrington Beach State Park for some hiking. There was a beautiful old quarry lake filled with families enjoying picnic lunches and lots of kids fishing. We took to the trail around the quarry and enjoyed some of the changing leaves along the way - unfortunately, since we were right along Lake Michigan, some of the trees had already changed over and lost all their leaves but it was still beautiful! While we were there we both kept saying how much fun it will be next summer and fall when we can take baby girl hiking with us. Until then, we're enjoying our little family of two :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-10-10T17:51:00.005-05:00

I've been terrible at blogging during the week and even though I promised this blog wouldn't turn into everything baby related, it has. I suppose that has something to do with the excitement factor in our lives these days - it all centers around baby. I promise I'll catch up with a few other posts this week but for now, here's the weekly pregnancy post.

How Far Along: 21 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: This was a good week. I'm slowly getting over the cold and starting to feel more energized. My biggest complaint is still the pains I'm feeling in my hips, tailbone, and legs. The leg cramps themselves haven't been as bad since I'm getting more potassium and staying hydrated, but I did wake up screaming with a charlie horse in my calf the other night - thankfully Dave rubbed it out and let me cry in pain for a while (sound familiar, Safi?).

Cravings: Chocolate and cheeseburgers. No, not together, thankfully. I haven't been eating much meat during this pregnancy but randomly craved a cheeseburger the other day. The hubby was happy to fire up the grill and cook up some burgers and they were delicious! Baby girl also has grown to love chocolate and this mom-to-be isn't complaining one bit. I keep the indulgences to a minimum (most days) but chocolate is a sure way to get her moving these days. I'm praying the chocolate doesn't have a lasting effect into her toddler years :)

Maternity Clothes: I hate that Wisconsin can't seem to decide if it wants to be fall or summer. It's been unseasonably warm recently which makes dressing a bit of challenge since I didn't need to purchase any summer maternity clothes. All my pants are either for work or winter - it's no fun wearing cords when it's 80 degrees outside. Same goes for my tops. The short-sleeved shirts are getting just a bit too short. I never thought I'd say this but I'm ready for winter. I'm ready pull on my warm maternity cords and sweaters and be comfortable. I finally gave in and bought two more pairs of work pants and a couple shirts... I think I'm good to go for a while now. I'm enjoying buying baby clothes far more than maternity clothes anyways!

What I Miss: Nothing in particular this week. I'd say that second trimester honeymoon phase has returned for now - I hope it stays for a while!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Dave got to feel baby girl's kicks for the first time last Sunday night. I have been feeling quite a bit of motion for a while now but nothing strong enough for Dave to feel. We were sitting on the couch enjoying some Sunday-night TV when I felt some pretty strong kicks. I helped Dave's hand navigate around the belly for a while in search of the kicks and sure enough, she gave him some nice strong ones for a good few minutes. I think the only other time I've seen Dave that happy and excited was on our wedding day. I can't wait for her kicks to be even stronger and for her movements to become more regular. Although I must say, since that day Dave hasn't been able to feel many strong kicks again. Baby girl will kick away for me but the second Dave puts his hand there she stops. He talks to her, begging for her to kick but nope - I think she likes to play games with him. She sure is one stubborn little baby already!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-10-03T14:17:00.004-05:00

We've officially made it to the half-way point in our pregnancy - that is if she decides to wait the full 40 weeks to make her debut. Some days I feel like this pregnancy is going so fast and others I feel like I've been pregnant forever. I think that has something to do with the miscarriage earlier in the year - in fact, our first baby was due just two weeks ago...I can't believe how fast those nine months came and went. I have a feeling these last 20 weeks will go by quickly as well!

How Far Along: 20 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The only true pregnancy symptoms these week were some nausea and tiredness. I've apparently come down with a cold and it's true when they say that every symptom while pregnant is magnified. I'm also told that it can take three-times as long to get over a cold which would be just lovely. I was most worried that being sick could harm the baby but the strep tests came back negative and the doctor assured me that she'll be just fine in there. My body is working extra hard these days to keep her safe while I feel miserable but I'm just fine with that... as long as she stays healthy, I can endure a few weeks of sore throats, runny noses, and no sleep. This also explains why I look absolutely terrible in this week's bump picture above - no sleep, a fever, and complete misery make an icky-looking mom-to-be!

Food Cravings: I haven't had many cravings this week... or much of an appetite for that matter. Perhaps that has something to do with being sick. The one thing I did look forward to all week was my mom's homemade beef stew on Saturday night - delicious!! It was just what I needed. And it was nice not to have to prepare it myself. I love that you're never too old to go home :)

What I Miss: Sleeping. I'm back to spending most of my nights tossing and turning or lying on the couch watching infomercials. I'm sure being sick hasn't helped the cause but I find that I'm having terrible hip pain when I'm lying down or sitting for a while which can make sleeping an impossible task. I suppose I'm just preparing for motherhood and those late-night feedings!

Maternity Clothes: I'm managing with just four pairs of maternity pants and a few tops. Some of my regular sweaters and shirts still fit as long as they are long enough. I'm waiting until my belly gets a little bigger because I buy some more pants and shirts because some people have warned me that I may need to go up a size in maternity clothes as I get even further.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Finding out that we're having a baby girl! And equally as exciting has been looking at cute baby girl clothes. If you know me, you know that I am an incredibly picky person and when it comes to baby stuff, there's so exception. After finding out baby is a girl, we headed to Kohls and Target to look at some summer clearance stuff for next year and some winter stuff but we didn't find much we liked. I just can't help it - I have expensive taste and I'm drawn to Baby Gap like it's a drug. So on Friday night while Dave was at Bayshore having dinner with a friend, I headed to that very heavenly baby store and fantasized for a good hour about owning every item on the shelves. Amazingly, I walked out with only one outfit - and it was all on sale! I found an adorable little onesie that says "I love Daddy" on it and got baby girl her first pair of jeans (dark washed bootcut of course) and a cable-knit sweater. I figured I could justify to Dave my need to buy the outfit for the very fact it was all about daddy... and he agreed :) And this post wouldn't be complete without a picture of it. She's going to be one spoiled little girl. My mom's already given us a couple cute outfits and I have a feeling we'll be visiting the Baby Gap again soon!

Visions of Pink

2010-09-27T20:00:00.005-05:00

Dave's convinced she has my nose

Just saying "Hi" to mommy and daddy

We're having a baby girl! While you've probably already heard this news by now - either by phone call, text, or facebook - I wanted to document it on our blog as well since this undoubtedly is serving as a little pregnancy journal for us.

We are both so thrilled that we're having a little girl. Dave and I both admitted that we secretly wanted a baby girl first and well, if the ultrasound proves correct, in just a few short months our house will fill with all things girly. I'm excited for all the pink and for little dresses with matching hairbows. Dave is looking forward to many father-daughter dates, teaching her how to golf, tea parties and playing dress up, and of course scaring away potential boyfriends someday :)

Perhaps it's just coincidence but it appears that a lot of those trusty old wives tales actually proved correct in our case. We found today that we have a stubborn little baby on our hands (Dave says she already takes after me) - she didn't want to open her legs no matter how much we tried. She just wanted to sit Indian-style or kick my bladder repeatedly. Finally near the end, she gave us a nice bottom's up view so we could see that she was in fact a she. It was amazing to see all of her features up close. We saw all her fingers and toes, her fast-beating heart, her tiny little nose and lips... we were already in awe of how beautiful she looked. We were happy to hear that she is perfectly healthy and that all the measurements were within normal range. We pray things continue to progress perfectly and that in a few short months we'll welcome our beautiful baby girl to the world.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-09-26T14:36:00.005-05:00

Here you have it. Your first glimpse of the itsy bitsy baby bump. I'm not sure if I've really popped yet but my belly certainly has grown in the past two weeks. I still feel as though I'm in the awkward stage where I don't quite look pregnant but I certainly look like I've put on some weight in the mid-section. You be the judge.

We're almost half-way through the pregnancy! Tomorrow we have our big ultrasound appointment where hopefully we'll find out the baby's gender. We're so excited to see our baby again and to see how much it has grown in the past seven weeks.

How Far Along: 19 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: It appears the nausea is back to stay - at least for a while. This week was especially rough. The nausea can't seem to be appeased and just sort of lingers all day, being most intense in the morning and late evenings. I think it's mostly just irritating, especially now that I'm back to work. Speaking of work, I'm noticing my body is incredibly sore now that I'm sitting most of the day. I've had other pregnant ladies tell me this only gets worse from here and that it's common but it's just uncomfortable. My tailbone, hips, and upper legs are always sore which makes sleeping comfortably an impossible task. Luckily the charlie-horse leg cramps are less frequent these days thanks to Safi and her advice of a banana a day (thank you thank you thank you - it works!!!). The hubby and my mom would tell you that I was especially moody and emotional this week... chalk it up to hormones and not feeling well. If you see my hubby, ask him about the little gray hair I found on his head today - he'll first deny it even exists and then he'll blame it on my pregnancy hormones. Welcome to pregnancy Dave :)

Food Cravings: Pizza and bread. I think I've eaten more pizza this week than I'd like to admit. I'm sure that the whole no weight gain thing is falling by the wayside... I'm guessing I've gained at least 2-4 pounds in the last three weeks or so thanks to the mass amounts of carbs I've consumed.

What I Miss: Being able to sleep on my back. It's ironic that the most comfortable position I find during pregnancy is lying on my back yet it's the one position I'm told isn't good for the baby (something about cutting off its blood supply).

Maternity Clothes: I'm having a love-hate relationship with my closet these days. The maternity pants are just a tad too big no matter how many times I attempt to shrink them in the dryer and my pre-pregnancy pants were all too tight in the belly so they're packed away. My pre-pregnancy tops still fit for the most part but when they're all baggy I feel like I just look fat. I've found a few cute maternity tops that'll look cute as the belly grows. Until then, whatever matches and fits makes the cut!

Best Pregnancy Moments of the Week: Being able to talk with other expectant moms. I wish all my friends could experience pregnancy at the same time as me - it would certainly make the experience easier and much more fun. While at a wedding last night, Dave and I sat with some of his friends from college at what we deemed the "pregnant table". Three of the four girls were expecting and it was so refreshing to talk babies and pregnancy and compare notes. It also nice to not be the only one not drinking, sitting uncomfortably, frequenting the ladies room often, and indulging in two pieces of wedding cake :) Another favorite moment of the week, chopping my hair. Everyone told me not to cut my hair while pregnant - that I'd regret it. Something about pregnant women not making sound decisions. Let me tell you, when your hair is growing like a week, nothing feels better than a fresh haircut. Short hair is much easier to straighten and cuts the getting ready time in half. I'm loving it. You'll just have to excuse my weekend laziness in the belly picture - I didn't feel like straightening the hair today and I'm well aware I look kinda like a mop top.

Lance and Rachel's wedding this weekend

Predictions

2010-09-20T19:06:00.006-05:00

A week from today we find out the gender of Baby Irish - that is if our active little one decides to cooperate. So for fun, we decided to take a few gender prediction quizes online as well as debunk a few old wive's tales to see if we can acurately predict what is (or isn't) hiding between baby's legs.

First, here are the results of five of the online gender predictor quizes. I randomly googled "gender predictor quizes" and took the first five that came up. The results are exactly as they appeared on the screen:

Parents.com quiz: It's a boy!

Babyzone.com: It could be a girl.

Childbirth.org: You have a 72% chance of having a girl.

Justmommies.com: 67% chance of having a girl.

Babygenderpredition.com: 60% chance of having a boy.

And just for fun, thebump.com's chinese gender predictor says we're having a boy.

So, based on the predictor quizes, we're having a girl but if you add in that chinese gender predictor we're even. Perhaps breaking down some of the common old wives tales will yield a different result.

Carrying High, Carrying Low: According to this old wive's tale, we're expecting a boy because it appears I'm carrying low. But science says that how you carry is based on muscle and the position of the baby.

Heartbeats: The story goes, if the heartbeat is above 140 it's a girl and under is a boy. At our 16 week appointment baby's heartbeat was still a strong 155. Prior to that it was up in the 170's. This old wive's tale would indicate we're having a girl.

Craving Something?: Sweets mean a girl, sour or salty foods indicate a boy. Given the massive amounts of chocolate I've ingested lately, I'd say my cravings are sweets-centered. Another point for a little girl.

Time to Shave: They say if the hair on your legs is growing faster during pregnancy then you're having a boy. Given that I'm grabbing for the razor on a daily basis, I think it's safe to say this tale points to a boy.

Green at the Gills: Morning sickness early in pregnancy indicates a girl. Unfortunately, I had plenty of morning, noon, and night sickness early in pregnancy (and even today) so we're giving another point to the girl tally.

Meat or Fruit?: Craving meat usually points to a boy, according to the old tales while craving fruit indicates a girl. Given my strong dislike of meat throughout this pregnancy, I'm going with fruit on this one. I wonder if there's a prediction for fruit causing heartburn because that's certainly happening lots these days. Another girl point.

Mirror, Mirror: Story goes, baby girls steal their mother's looks during pregnancy. While Dave will tell you I'm looking good during pregnancy (thanks, love), I beg to differ. Hormones have caused my skin to break out and I always look tired. I'm still waiting for the pregnancy glow to kick in.

Mmmm, bread: If there was an old wive's tale about bread, it was made for me and my bread cravings. This one has to do with the heel of the loaf of bread. If you eat it, you're having a boy and if you refuse to eat it, it's a girl. While I love bread these days, I'd only eat the heel if it was the absolute last piece and I couldn't get to the store fast enough. I'll give the point to the girl side.

Tally up those points and you get six old wive's tales that indicate a girl and two that indicate a boy. Put it all together and you'd think we're having a girl. But we aren't totally convinced. Everyone we talk to says we're having a girl except for my mom who is still sticking with her dream that we had a baby boy. Dave and I are torn. Some days I think we're having a boy simply because I can't settle on a boy's nursery theme. Other days I think it's a girl because we can't seem to settle on just one girl's name (while our boy's name has been settled since day one). Luckily, we'd be thrilled with either and are praying for a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes.

Stay tuned... next week we'll see how accurate those predictor tests and old wives tales were!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-09-19T12:37:00.003-05:00

I know I can't dodge the requests for belly pics much longer but I'm still not entirely ready to share the belly with the world yet. I've done a good job of hiding it until this week when it decided to pop out a little. Slowly but surely I'm transitioning from what I think looks like me gaining a few pounds (although I haven't gained any weight just yet) to a cute little pregnant belly. So if you're one of those people who keeps asking, I promise I hear you and I promise soooooon you'll get your wish :)

How Far Along: 18 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: What a weird week symptom-wise this was. The nausea has returned and somedays, in full-swing. Heartburn is increasing and I'm noticing it with strange foods, especially fruit and carrots (who would've thought!). I'm having bad leg cramps when I sit too long and especially when I sleep. My skin is incredibly itchy which I hear is common but something I haven't experienced yet. I have a feeling my body is trying to adjust to being back at work because I'm even more tired than before - my new bedtime is 8:30pm and don't try to wake me because as Dave will tell you, I'll more than likely be completely disoriented and quite possibly bite your head off :)

Food Cravings: Carbs - bread (especially fresh bagels and french and sourdough) and plain pasta. I've indulged in my random sweets cravings, including tootsie rolls and oreos. Hopefully all these carbs and sweets will help me to gain a little weight - while the doctor isn't too concerned with my not gaining any weight yet, I know the hubby is. I tell him to wait a few weeks, I'm sure he'll notice me packing on a few pounds ;)

What I miss: My clothes. My favorite jeans and favorite work pants are packed away until post-baby.

Maternity Clothes: I had the biggest belly growth this week. In fact, the belly is noticeable now which means that my pre-pregnancy pants are all packed away. I tried wearing a few pairs this week, leaving them unbuttoned but it made for a very painful belly and uncomfortable sitting. Thankfully, I have a fabulous mother who so graciously took me shopping for some maternity clothes - I'm now set with a few pairs of work pants, some jeans, and a few tops. Most of my pre-pregnancy tops will fit for a while still but it's nice to have some more loose-fitting tops that are comfortable for the growth that seems to be happening quickly these days.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Feeling baby hiccup. I woke this morning to the baby hiccuping for a good 20 minutes. It's the coolest yet strangest feeling... just slightly different than when the baby moves. It's a little reminder of the tiny life growing inside me.

Welcome to Adoption

2010-09-16T16:42:00.003-05:00

I have officially joined the adoption world. Not as an adoptive parent, or even a prospective one at this point, but as an Adoption Social Worker (or as my official title says, Adoption Placement Specialist). I’ve developed a strong understanding of adoption through my volunteer work, my family and friends who have/are adopting, and from my undergraduate thesis on international adoption. However, joining the ranks as adoption professional is very different than what I am familiar with and is proving to be quite challenging.

I am quickly learning that my understanding of adoption is actually quite limited to international adoptions, especially those using a small, private agency. I also have a greater understanding of how adoption impacts the family adopting – the process they undergo, challenges experienced, and the overall attitude of families choosing to adopt. Now I am on the other side, a side that I am so completely unfamiliar with I am left wondering how I even ended up with this job in the first place. My primary focus it the child – is adoption the best permanence plan for them? What will life be like for them because of adoption? What family fits their needs best? My priorities and thought-process needs to shift from thinking about adoption through the lense of a parent to thinking about it through the eyes of a child.

In the past few days, I’ve been exposed to my new world of adoption. I have quickly learned to change my frame of reference from that of a someday adoptive parent of a child in Africa to that of a Social Worker who will be specializing in domestic adoptions of children within the Wisconsin foster care system. Even more specifically, adoptions of teenagers and those older children who have been waiting for years or potentially their entire lives for a family. This week I’ve been exposed to the realities of adopting from the foster care system and how different the process and outcome is from most international adoptions. I have become especially aware of the realities of my job – witnessing the termination of a parent’s rights, trying to understanding why a teenager is telling me they do not want to be adopted, looking a child the face and telling them they have to move for the 6th time.

I keep reminding myself that no matter how hard or difficult the job may get for me, life will always be harder for the child whose best interest and future I am advocating for. While I certainly won’t be able to share specifics of my experiences as an adoption social worker on this blog for confidentiality reasons, I do hope to be able to continue to share lessons I learn, realities of adopting older children, and my growing heart and appreciation for the foster care system. And I will apologize in advance for the lack of blogging I’ll be doing in the next few months – between an intense training period and the exhaustion of this pregnancy, my free time is usually spent napping. I do promise I won’t disappear completely :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-09-12T18:37:00.000-05:00

How Far Along: 17 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The tiredness is still my greatest complaint - surprise, surprise! This week I've noticed the forgetfulness and the pure emotional craziness (just ask the man at the paint counter at Home Depot about my breakdown complete with tears and forgetting my paint). This week the nausea and vomiting returned - the doctor says it may have been from a bug, my anxiety about starting my new job tomorrow, or maybe the baby just wanted to remind me it was still there. Luckily it passed in just a few days.

Food Cravings: I didn't have many cravings this week other than one completely ridiculous and impossible-to-indulge-in craving: Door County's Sweet Apple Wine. I'm not much of a drinker but the hubby and I do enjoy a glass of wine on Saturday nights. I guess I caught a whiff of his wine this weekend and really wanted one of my own but for baby's safety, I'll refrain. Lucky me, mom and dad bought me my very own bottle while in Door County this past week and it'll be waiting in the pantry for me for after the baby arrives :)

What I miss: I'm missing a good night's sleep this week. Between whatever stomach bug or anxiety I was feeling this past week and the leg cramps, the insomnia and poor sleeping started up again. I'm hoping this moves along quickly because this cool weather makes it so comfy to sleep at night.

Maternity Clothes: Each week my clothes continue to fit more awkwardly. My belly is just big enough for my regular pants to be a little too snug when buttoned up but maternity pants are still a little too big. We did notice quite a big belly growth this week so hopefully in the next few weeks I can transition to just maternity clothes. It's hard to look cute when you're throwing together whatever fits these days!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Hearing baby's heartbeat!! We were so disappointed at our 12 week appointment when the baby was moving around too much to actually catch the heartbeat. Thankfully, this time baby stayed still just long enough to hear the heartbeat for a few seconds and it was amazing! I can't even describe the sound - it was unlike anything I'd ever heard. The doctor gave us the okay to schedule our big ultrasound for the gender reveal and in just two weeks (the 27th) we'll know what baby Irish is hiding (or not hiding) between those little legs.

25 Years

2010-09-09T10:20:00.003-05:00

On Tuesday, my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. On September 7, 1985, at the mere ages of 20 and 21, my parents vowed to spend the rest of their lives together. Five months later, I came along. It only took me until about the age of 15 to realize that I was already cooking in my mom's stomach when they got married (and no, that is not the reason they married). They were high school sweethearts with matching curly mop tops who were destined to spend the rest of their lives together :)

I am so thankful to have parents who are not only still married but who have shown me what a strong marriage looks like. They've shown me that there will certainly be difficult times but that love and faith don't waiver in times of trial. They've shown me what it means to sacrifice for one another, for the sake of their family. They've shown me unconditional love, even when I'm the one being difficult. They've taught me valuable life lessons and instilled strong values in me - both of which I will pass along to my own children. I feel prepared to become a parent in just a few short months because of their example and because I know I have their support, guidance, and love. And I know they are beyond excited to become grandparents (even if they are just in their mid-forties). I've always loved having younger parents and Dave has certainly seen the benefits as well - that's why we chose to start our family so quickly. I look forward to watching them with our children - my mom baking Christmas cookies with them, my dad taking them on their first snowmobile rides in the snow. I am so thankful that they said "I Do" twenty-five years ago because their marriage has enriched my life in so many ways.

They were supposed to be celebrating this special anniversary in Italy but a certain daughter of theirs decided she had to get married last year. Dad learned weddings aren't as cheap today as they were back in 1985 :) Next year they hope to be celebrating their 26th anniversary in Italy and I pray they make it there because I know it's been a dream! I wish everyday I could send them there myself to repay them for all the blessings they've given my life.

What's second best to Italy? Celebrating with your family, of course! We had a little family party on Sunday and we celebrated their vows and reminisced on how far their hairstyles have come since their wedding day. Thankfully, dad lost that creepy mustache, too :)

Tasty Tuesday

2010-09-07T09:34:00.002-05:00

For one of my bridal showers, my friend Katie gave me this fabulous cookbook that she had also received from her mother when she became engaged. It's the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook:Bridal Edition and it has everything a new bride needs to know to keep her man fed and happy :) Or at the very least, it has complete instructions on how to prepare and cook just about everything in the world - including detailed charts on cooking times for various meats which comes in handy for a new cook like me. Anyways, I finally sat down and read the book cover to cover and no joke, it was one of the best reads (this is coming from a girl who hates cookbooks - I'd much rather search for recipes online). I joked with Katie that just about every page was folded over, indicating some new recipe I was eager to try. I decided to tackle one of the easier recipes first. And since I'm in a carb mood these days, I started with the Pasta section of course. This was a super easy and delicious recipe... and I have hope that the rest of those folded over pages will be as equally delicious.

Lemon Chicken Pasta Toss

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Makes: 4 Servings

Ingredients
2 cups dried multigrain penne (6 ounces)
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/3 cup finely chopped shallots*
2 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup chicken broth
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
3 tablespoons capers, drained*
3 tablespoons snipped fresh Italian parsley
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

*we skipped both of these because of Dave's strong dislike for tiny little shallots and capers invading his food

1. Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Return pasta to hot saucepan; cover and keep warm.

2. Meanwhile, in a bowl, toss together chicken and flour until chicken is lightly coated. In a large skillet cook and stir chicken in 1 tablespoon of the oil over medium-high heat for 6 to 8 minutes until chicken is no longer pink. Remove chicken from pan and set aside.

3. Reduce heat to medium. Add remaining oil to skillet. Add garlic (and shallot if using); cook and stir about 1 minute or until tender. Carefully stir in broth, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Cook, uncovered, for 2 to 3 minutes or until reduced to about 2/3 cup. Stir in chicken, capers, and parsley; heat through.

4. Toss pasta with chicken mixture. Top with Parmesan cheese if desired.

Add some fresh, seasonable vegetables and fresh bread on the side and you've got yourself a delicious meal! I really should start taking pictures of my finished products... although, sometimes they don't look as good as the pictures in the cookbooks. I suppose as long as they taste delicious that's all that matters, right :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-09-05T14:28:00.001-05:00

This week was rather un-eventful. I have felt probably the best I've felt the entire pregnancy which was a relief. I've been scouring the Internet, catalogues, and blogs to start planning the nursery. I've thought up some great DIY projects for the nursery that will help to not only keep me (and certainly Dave) busy during the next five months but also to help personalize the nursery. Other than that, we're basking in the glory of the second trimester!

How Far Along: 16 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Tiredness and more tiredness. I hear this really will never go away... during the rest of the pregnancy and even more so, once the baby's born. I think it's time that I accept that I'll always be a little more tired than I was pre-baby. Other than that, this was a good week symptom-wise. I'm starting to understand why they call the second trimester the Honeymoon phase of the pregnancy.

Food Cravings: Breakfast. I've never been a breakfast eater - usually a granola bar would satisfy my morning hunger. Recently, I've been making breakfast my biggest meal of the day. In addition to my morning protein breakfast drink (it's how I get my extra daily 300 calories), I have a big bowl of yogurt with granola and fresh fruit, a few pieces of bacon (definitely a craving at this point), a banana, and sometimes even a small bowl of dry Multigrain Cheerios. This seems to tie me over until lunch with the occasional need for a late-morning snack. Thankfully, the McDonald's shakes and long john cravings were limited to a week. This past week didn't bring any weird cravings, thankfully.

What I Miss: Being able to get dressed quickly. See next point for elaboration.

Maternity Clothes: I've officially hit the "nothing fits" brick wall. This week my belly definitely grew more than the past few. I can no longer button any of my pants/shorts. I find it awkward to wear my pants open with a hair tie or rubber band holding the button closed - I feel like it'll snap at any moment, leaving my rear exposed. Thankfully, my mom's co-worker gave me some of her maternity clothes and I found a nice comfy pair of jeans that fit so perfectly and comfortably, I'm convinced all jeans should have elastic waistbands (goodbye button digging into my stomach!). I'm hoping most of my work clothes still fit for a few more weeks since most were big pre-pregnancy. Most of my shirts will continue to work for a while thanks to the empire waist style that have been so popular. I just have to remember to give myself extra time to get ready these days - gone are the days of throw-on-whatever-I see-in-my-closet-this-morning.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Ordering fabric samples of the bedding we (okay, I) picked out (and Dave agreed to) for the baby's room. We're hoping to pick out our exact paint color (I can tell you it's a neutral color that works with both the boys and girls bedding) and get the room all painted before we find out the gender. That urge to decorate and get the baby's room ready is taking over! We've cleared out half the room but we've still got a lot of work to do before any baby gear can be brought in so we're giving ourselves plenty of time!

African Children's Choir

2010-09-04T08:44:00.002-05:00

Last night Dave and I went to see the African Children's Choir perform at a local church. I was so excited when I found out the group was coming to town. When you live in Wisconsin, you realize what a rarity it is for something big like this to actually come close enough to attend. The Choir's been touring the southern/eastern states quite a bit lately so to have them in our very own backyard was great!

If you've ever seen the Choir perform, you know how talented the children are. And if you've ever been to Africa and seen children sing and dance in their own culture and language, you can imagine how different it was to see them singing up on a stage, in English, in suburban America. As I looked around the packed room, I couldn't help but wonder what drew all the people there to see them. Had they too experienced Africa firsthand... fallen in love with its children, culture, and beautiful landscapes? Were they simply interested in music and dance? Did they have a heart for His children? No matter the reason, we all gathered in the sanctuary of Christ Church with one mission: to support the children and mission of the African Children's Choir.

As the Choir was introduced and the children ran past me, up on stage, I felt tears begin to stream down my cheeks. The memories, the love, the heartache, and probably the pregnancy hormones overwhelmed me. It's rare that I can talk about my experiences in Africa without crying, for so many reasons, but to see those children on stage and realize what being a part of the choir means for their lives, for their futures, it overwhelmed me. Thankfully the room was dark :) The show was amazing and so were the stories. The children shared some of their backgrounds with us - poverty, disease, abandonment, life as orphans. They shared their dreams for the future - doctors, nurses, teachers, Presidents. They shared their love of Jesus - their love in our Father, their thankfulness, and feelings of being blessed. They also played a short video that showed former Choir members back in Africa, mostly in Uganda and Kenya. The choir members talked about how their lives changed for the better because of their involvement in the Choir - they now had college degrees, they overcame extreme poverty and disease - one even said he would probably be dead if he hadn't been a part of the Choir. I was thankful that Dave could see the video especially. He could see images of the slums of Kenya and Uganda, hear the stories from the Children's mouths, and feel the pain and suffering they described. I love how much his heart has been changed in the past year. He really gets it - he gets why I'm so passionate about orphan care and Africa, he gets how my experience and time there changed me, and he understands why I feel so strongly about adoption. He talks about when we adopt and asks questions about what the process will be like. He really just gets it which to me shows that God has been working on his heart... breaking his heart for what breaks His slowly and confidently. When we left the concert last night, Dave said how amazing it was and I could just see that he was broken a little more.

I must also note that our little one apparently has a love for music, especially African music. Baby was moving and moving all throughout the concert...more than I've ever felt before. Dave thought it was the coolest part of the night, of course. All those pregnancy books and blogs say that the baby will start to move when you either eat something they like, talk to them, or when they hear noises that stimulate them. You can bet we'll be adding some of the Choir's CDs to our collection for baby :)

So, if the Choir ever comes to a city near you, whether in your own backyard or a few towns over, I HIGHLY recommend making the trip to see them perform. I promise you'll fall in love with the children. In fact, the children informed the audience at one point that they were certain some of us probably wanted to adopt them right then and there (mindreaders I tell you) but they weren't available for adoption - instead we could buy a CD, DVD, or Tshirt and bring them home with us forever. Such great little salespeople and talented singers. And beautiful, beautiful children of God.

Recipes to Satisfy the Cravings

2010-09-01T09:44:00.004-05:00

I plan to jump back into Tasty Tuesday postings next week now that my appetite is back and I've had the time to explore some new recipes. In the meantime, I wanted to share some my favorite recipes of the past few months. These are recipes that allowed me to play into my cravings without over-indulging. During the first trimester I lost weight because of the sickness which concerned Dave (the doctor assured us this is perfectly normal). Now that my appetite is back and I'm not getting sick every time I eat, Dave's made it his priority to make sure I get those extra 300 calories the baby needs each day. I'm nervous about gaining the right amount of weight - not too much and not too little - so paying attention to my diet is important at this point. Not to mention wanting to be sure the baby is getting the proper nutrition it needs to develop and grow properly. Anyways, these recipes are not just for pregnant women... I assure you they are completely delicious and will satisfy a non-pregnant belly as well :)

Craving #1: Cheese
To satisfy my first trimester cheese cravings, I often turned to Mac and Cheese. While the store bought kind is convenient, it certainly isn't the most nutritious. I tried the Baked Mac & Cheese recipe from Eating Well and loved it! It was easy to make, not overly-cheesy or thick, and packed in a few veggie servings with some inconspicuous spinach. DE-LIC-IOUS!

Craving #2: Chocolate
Who doesn't crave chocolate once in a while? Lately, I've been craving it A LOT. Just a little bit each day satisfies the belly and is perfectly safe for baby, too. Rather than breaking out the candy bars, I started mixing chocolate in with other "healthier" options. One of my favorites was Leigh's Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Scotchies. Oh my heavens, how I ever lived without these is beyond me! Not only were they a delicious, healthier way (oatmeal is packed full of nutrients) to curb those chocolate cravings, they were so easy to make - even for someone who doesn't like baking. The hubby devoured them way too fast!

Craving #3: Carbs
Since I'm not eating much meat these days, I've been loading up on carbs (that should guarantee some weight gain, huh?). I've had some cravings for pasta, rice, potatoes, and most recently bread. However, cooking just plain pasta or rice is rather boring and doesn't satisfying the hubby's huge appetite. I'll usually find a recipe and add in some chicken or ground turkey for his portion. I've also found adding veggies to carbs is an easy way to force them into my diet. One of my favorite recipes is Campbell's Broccoli & Garlic Penne Pasta. For Dave, I cook up a chicken breast or two for him to mix in and we have a super easy, quick, nutritional, craving-satisfying dinner!

I look forward to sharing some of the other new recipes I've been trying. With some free time on my hands, I've been reading some of the cookbooks I got as bridal shower gifts and I'm finding so many great new recipes to try!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-08-29T18:20:00.003-05:00

This week felt different than the others. I can't really put my finger on exactly what makes me say that - I think it's a combination of a few things. My pregnancy symptoms (I hate using the word symptom, it makes me sound sick!) are changing daily now, I'm officially nesting, and I'm already have separation anxiety from our little one (I'll explain more later). Of course, the hormones of pregnancy aren't helping with that last one. Needless to say, I am starting to feel pregnant in that "I'm so excited for the baby to come" kind of way. While I was certainly excited the past 14 weeks, there was still a lot of anxiety and fears mixed in. I know those may resurface but we've been reassured that things are progressing nicely. Now my biggest fear is the actual labor part, but we'll save that for another day :)

How Far Along: 15 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The nausea is really just about gone now (hallelujah!!)...it comes around when I'm really starving, usually first thing in the morning. The headaches linger but since the weather got cooler for the past week, I've noticed they've decreased in intensity. Perhaps my allergies are resurfacing a little and that could be a cause. I've got that good ole' fashioned pregnancy stuffed nose which can make it hard to breathe, especially when I'm trying to sleep. And speaking of sleep, I'm actually starting to get some (another hallelujah!!). Since the frequent trips to the bathroom have decreased, I get some more snooze time in and it's fabulous! I guess my biggest complaint (and basically only) at this point is fatigue and exhaustion. Oh, and those hormones I mentioned earlier - but I'll get into that later.

Food Cravings: I'm sad to report that the cheese cravings have passed. I think I overstayed my welcome in the cheese department. In fact, I'm developing an aversion to cheese. Thankfully, milk is still high on the list. I'm having more sporadic, one-at-time type cravings. This week it's been McDonald's Chocolate Shakes (no whip please), plain long john donuts with white frosting (did I mentioned I've always hated donuts??), and red grapes (I'm usually a green grape kind of girl). At least one of those three has some nutritional value :)

What I Miss: I can't say I miss much of anything from pre-pregnancy life this week. I've got my energy back and I'm sleeping more...life is good!

Maternity Clothes: I'm down to my last pair of shorts that still button. Still living in athletic clothes whenever possible. Everyone says I should get a Belly Band but I'm just not sure I'd feel comfortable wearing my pants unbuttoned. Why not just wear maternity pants? I've started looking but until I go back to work in two weeks and need to actually care what I look like each day, I'll stick with gym shorts and tanks.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Continuing to feel the baby move. I haven't felt the baby move as much as I did the first time, or for as long, but there are daily movements now. They feel more like little bubbles, sometimes like tiny butterflies. I notice the baby moving when I'm lying down watching TV or reading and especially when I'm drinking my morning breakfast drink.

Worst Pregnancy Moment of the Week: This week deserves a worst pregnancy moment because let's be honest, pregnancy isn't all glamour. The worst moment of this week, and maybe even the entire pregnancy (past and future) was looking at our first childcare option. I'll write a whole post dedicated to this one when I've really gathered all my thoughts on it - but for now, I'll tell you that I never expected to feel as sad, guilty, and down-right miserable as I did this week. It was a great facility - a small Christian center with amazing caregivers. I know our child would be well cared for and loved there. But the moment I left, I was in tears. The ball like a baby, shake you to your core kind of tears. I cried all morning. Thankfully, I have a mom whose been through this and who assured me this is perfectly normal and a husband who just gets it - understands how deep a mother's love can be. I can't imagine how much I'll love our baby once he/she is born because in that moment, leaving the center, I loved our baby so much I couldn't stand to ever leave it.

Just five weeks left until we find out whether baby is a boy or girl. I mentioned earlier I was nesting... and boy am I nesting! With all this free time on my hands, I've cleaned and organized the entire house. We have room for diapers and baby gear in the closets. I started clearing out the baby's room, picked out the paint color, and pretty much mentally designed the nursery. I look forward to finding out baby's gender so I go move forward with the decorating process. Oh how I'm so happy when I'm nesting :)

Conversations

2010-08-25T14:25:00.011-05:00

I had two very interesting conversations this week with two of my favorite kids. They got me thinking about the type of children I hope to raise and the values I hope to teach them, the passions I hope to share with them, and the compassion I hope to instill in their precious hearts.

The first conversation really caught me off guard. I was driving E out to the barn the other day when she said, "Natasha, will you take me to Africa someday?" I've shared my experiences and love for Africa with the kids before - my volunteer work, what it's like to be an orphan, what Africa is like as a continent and culture - I've shared pictures, too. But it's been a while since that first trip and those conversations. I told E I'd love to take her to Africa someday... then asked if she'd talked about this with her parents. No, she hadn't. I explained to her that going to Africa is a big deal - it's a beautiful place but life circumstances of the people there are hard, the things you witness can be difficult to understand, and the logistics of traveling to a place like Africa can be complex. I told her that perhaps in a few years, when she's a little older, we could explore the idea of visiting Africa together (and after discussing it with her parents, too!). Then I asked why she wanted to visit Africa. She told me she wanted to volunteer there, maybe with kids, maybe with animals. She wanted to go on a safari, too. She told me she just really wanted to visit Africa. She reminded me of how eager I was to see the continent at her age. I pray that her heart continues to yearn for Africa and that someday I can be with her as she experiences Africa for the very first time.

The second conversation happened yesterday while we were all having lunch. I was wearing my "I need Africa more than Africa needs me" shirt. One of the girls asked what my shirt said and I read it to them. Little D was sitting next to me. He looked up at me and said, "Wait a minute. That doesn't make sense. Africa needs us more because it is very poor. Your shirt is backwards missy." Bless his seven-year old heart of gold. He's completely right - the continent of Africa is poor. And they probably do really need us more than we need them...logistically, financially, and spiritually that is. I tried to explain what the shirt meant. How Africa changed me and my life so much - how I needed to experience Africa, and be reminded of it and it's poverty, disease, and orphan crisis continually. I think that was more than a seven year old can comprehend. His response: "Well, guess we all need some Africa then, huh?" Yes, D, we all do.

Two simple conversations. They reminded me of the influence I have in the lives of these children - children who aren't even my own but who I care for deeply and who I consider my family. I pray that someday, I'll be having these types of conversations with my own children. From an early age I want to instill Christian values in them - teach them about love, compassion, and forgiveness. I want to help their little hearts understand the greater world in which they live = to love their Christian brothers and sisters in Africa. To pray for kids who have less than we do. To pray for their little brother or sister that someday will join our family from across the world. It amazes me what children can remember and what they can understand. And the overwhelming amount of compassion they can demonstrate when we least expect it.

As a side note, please read a truly inspiring and thought-provoking post about our prayer that God continues to break our heart for what breaks his. Andrea shared some great thoughts on this today and I encourage you to read what she wrote - I'm not sure I could say it any better myself.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-08-22T08:11:00.005-05:00

The weeks are just flying by! I'm amazed at how much my body changes with each new week. I'm starting to gain some of my energy back, the pregnancy symptoms I'm experiencing change on a daily basis, and I'm officially getting the urge to start nesting. Dave's certainly ready to nest too... he's so excited and ready to be a dad, I fall in love with him more each day :)

How Far Along: 14 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The headaches are intensifying, especially in the late afternoons and evenings. The nausea comes and goes, mostly when baby wants to be fed. I'm so forgetful these days (please tell me that's a pregnancy symptom)... I put the milk in the pantry the other day and forgot that I started a load of laundry until about 5 hours after it had to be switched over. I'm starting to sleep a little more as I get a break from the constant trips to the bathroom throughout the night but the constant feeling of tiredness lingers throughout the day. Overall, I feel so much better than the first trimester - I have more energy, I feel less sick, and my appetite is coming back.

Food Cravings: I'm still craving cheese and milk mostly. Meat still doesn't appeal to me much but fruit is climbing the ranks - unfortunately, I haven't had any veggie cravings yet. I'm definitely craving more sweets than before. Give me a handful of cold chocolate chips and I'm a happy girl :)

What I Miss: Being able to exercise at the same intensity as pre-pregnancy. My doctor warned me I might feel more tired quicker when exercising and she was right. But she also encouraged me to keep with it because exercising will have a positive effect on the pregnancy and labor.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet. Baggy shirts and athletic clothes are the preference. You can't see the bump unless I'm in my gym gear - Dave loves to see the little bump come out. Speaking of Dave, his athletic clothes are slowly ending up in my dresser drawers. Nothing is more comfortable at this stage of pregnancy than his gym shorts :)

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Feeling the baby's first movements! The other day I was sitting reading a magazine, finishing up my breakfast shake, when I felt some movement. I called Dave to tell him I felt like there was a butterfly trapped in my stomach and it was trying to escape. The movement lasted about 6-8 seconds. Dave, being my pregnancy expert (he researches everything!) informed me that what I felt was a flutter and that the experts describe it just like I did - a butterfly. I've felt it a few times since but not for as long as that first time. I can't wait to see how it'll feel when baby starts kicking.

Summer Vacation

2010-08-18T13:18:00.004-05:00

I'd like to think of this little break from work as my very own mini summer vacation. I've had a few weeks off since leaving my job and I don't start my new job for three more weeks so essentially, this really has been a summer vacation. And I'm loving it. I've had time to spend with my mom, visit with my sister-in-law home from Peru, catch up with old friends, finish up some projects around the house, and relax. Had I not been pregnant during this time, I probably would have found myself a little bored but it's been nice to nap during the day (since sleeping at night is a rarity these days) and to not have to worry about getting sick in the middle of a meeting or even worse, with a patient. Perhaps the best part of this mini summer vacation is spending time with my three favorite kids.

I started watching D, K, and E the summer after my freshman year of college. They were only two, five, and eight at the time. Six years later and they feel like family to me. D was the adorable ring bearer in our wedding and K and E are like the little sisters I never had. I enjoy spending time with them and I am always amazed at what well-behaved, well-mannered, easy-going kids they are. It never feels like work watching them... in fact, I feel like I get to be a kid all over again when I'm with them. I'm spending this week and next with the kids before they head back to school. We've been busy creating villages to scooter through out of sidewalk chalk on the driveway, baking cookies and muffins, spending time at E's horse barn, having wii marathons, swimming, and playing with the neighbor kids. We're hoping to make it to the zoo next week to celebrate E's 14th birthday! When I spend time with these three, it makes me even more excited to be a mom. It also reminds me how challenging and exhausting parenthood will be - between keeping track of busy schedules, driving around town, and trying to fill 8 hours of the day with activities - not to mention the complete selflessness you must have. I'm not only up for the challenge but I am excited. I look forward to the day when my house is full of kids, my clothes are covered in sidewalk chalk, my hair's a sweaty mess, and my heart it full of love. I'm so thankful for this mini summer vacation and time with my three favorite kids!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

2010-08-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

My goal is to post each week of the pregnancy so that we can keep track of our progress, countdown to baby's due date, and keep our family and friends up-to-date on baby's progress. As the belly begins to grow a little more, I'll post pictures with these posts but right now, I'm in the awkward "nothing fits just right" and "I feel and look fat" stage so I'll spare you pictures of that for now :)So here you have it, the first post.

How Far Along: 13 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Nausea, headaches, heartburn, and pure exhaustion.

Food Cravings: Cheese, cheese, and more cheese... and milk. We have a good ole' fashioned dairy-loving Wisconsin baby cookin' in there :) I'm having more food aversions than cravings at this point. Meat is the enemy (even my beloved chicken) and spaghetti sauce - forget about it! We'll see if this changes throughout the pregnancy.

What I Miss: Sleep. I miss having a regular sleep schedule. Although I am enjoying having a good excuse for a nap!

Maternity Clothes: Not yet. Although I prefer to be in athletic clothes whenever possible. It's all about comfort at this point.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Sharing the news with all of our family and friends!

The First Twelve Weeks

2010-08-13T14:05:00.000-05:00

I figured before I start my first weekly pregnancy post I should summarize the first twelve weeks. I can't believe I'm already in the second trimester - I hope this pregnancy slows down a bit! I need some time to prepare for this baby!

The first twelve weeks were a whirlwind. Between the emotions of finding out I was pregnant, the stress of worrying something would go wrong, and the ever-so-lovely side effects that come along with pregnancy, the first trimester went fast! If you've ever been pregnant, I'm sure you can relate to the ups and downs that come along with pregnancy, especially in the beginning. The greatest joy during the first trimester was seeing a heartbeat - something that was missing with our last pregnancy. The greatest shock of pregnancy were the physical and emotional side effects, or "pregnancy symptoms" as many call them.

Name a pregnancy symptom and I had it during the first trimester: nausea, vomiting, insomnia, headaches, heartburn, exhaustion, and crying. I do realize that none of those words are all that positive but I won't sugarcoat things - the first trimester flat out sucked. On a good day, I could eat a few crackers, take a few sips of gingerale, and sleep for a few hours - but only during the day. On a bad day, I laid on the bathroom floor, hugged the toilet, and laid on the bathroom floor some more. Thankfully, my mom would come over in the middle of the day with more gingerale, crackers, and some good old fashioned TLC. Dave would hold my hair and clean up after me like it was his job. If that's not love, I don't know what is. But during all this, I kept reminding myself that being sick was a good sign - it meant the baby was growing and that was reassurance that I needed. Luckily, around the 10th week, I started to keep food down again and the vomiting was replaced by constant nausea, a welcomed sign of relief.

Now that the twelfth week is coming to a close, I am happy to report I am feeling much better! The nausea persists but mostly only bothers me when I'm feeling hungry. I'm starting to sleep more at night although baby still prefers a long afternoon nap. The headaches are increasing in prevalence but they're manageable at this point. I hear a lot of these side effects will start to subside as I get further into the second trimester... thankfully!

Pregnancy is certainly a beautiful thing and everyone assures me all the sickness is worth it in the end. I'm thinking those people might just be right :)

As if a Baby Isn't Enough Excitement...

2010-08-12T11:28:00.003-05:00

If you know me, you know that I like to make drastic life changes. And I usually like to make more than one at a time. So, as if having a baby wasn't enough excitement and change for one year, I have also decided to take a new job! When I took my little blogging break last month and said it was because I had so much going on in my life, I literally meant I had so much going on. It was overwhelming. The job change actually began before we found out we were expecting. The day be before, to be exact.

I had been looking for a new job for several months. While I certainly enjoyed working with cancer patients, Oncology wasn't my passion and I was having a very difficult time working for the American Cancer Society. While I fully support the organization's mission, I disagree with their politics, management staff, and use of fundraising dollars. It became incredibly difficult to go to work each day because of these things. I also knew that oncology wasn't the area I wanted to work in forever and neither was working with adults. I've always had a passion for working with children and knew that was the direction I needed to head in. After turning down several not-perfect-for-me offers, I finally accepted a position with a local child welfare agency doing family preservation work (counseling families at risk of losing children to out-of-home foster care). As I waited to start this position, I received a call from someone at another agency I previously turned down a position at about an Adoption Social Worker position that had opened up (these positions opening up is rare, let me tell ya!). She knew my passion for adoption and felt it would be a good fit. I interviewed and waited several weeks (delaying the start of my new job) waiting for an offer. Well, the offer finally came! I'll be starting my new position as an Adoption Social Worker in a few weeks with Children's Hospital & Health System in Milwaukee and I am thrilled! I feel like only God could have orchestrated this for me.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a little terrified of starting a new job with a baby on the way. In fact, the day after I left my job with ACS, I found out I was pregnant. That may have been part of the reason I cried and cried. I was terrified I had made the wrong decision. I was terrified that nobody would want to actually hire a pregnant woman. Well, thankfully I learned there are laws to help protect women in this type of situation and that in fact, it's a normal part of life. And I'd like to think that God has some crazy plan for me, some crazy logic in all of this happening at once, that is bigger than anything I could ever imagine.

I am most excited about this position because it will challenge me to step outside of my comfort zone. I've never been shy about my passion for adoption but for me, personally, I've always leaned towards international adoption. I still firmly believe that is the direction Dave and I will head someday. But this position will open up the world of domestic adoption for me. Not only that, but I'll be working with waiting children (those already in foster care) and older children (especially Milwaukee's teenagers in foster care/homeless shelters). God is really challenging me to look beyond what I am comfortable with to help the "least of these", those kids who are and have been waiting for families for years, maybe even their whole lives. It'll be an amazing opportunity to unite these children with forever families and to help those families interested in adoption prepare for the the placement of an older or waiting child. I am beyond excited for the things I will learn personally from this position and for the opportunity to turn my personal passion into my career. What a blessing!

So life in the Irish house really is a little crazy right now. But I certainly wouldn't have it any other way!

Expecting

2010-08-11T09:41:00.003-05:00

Dave and I are so excited to finally share that we are expecting a baby in February! If we're friends, family, or connected on facebook this doesn't come as a surprise to you but we figured it was time to make the announcement official on the blog as well. I know I've shared openly the struggles we had earlier in the year with our first pregnancy and miscarriage so to say that we are thrilled at how this pregnancy is progressing is an understatement.

Let's rewind a few weeks. We found out were were expecting in mid-June. I had a feeling I was pregnant but the first few tests were negative. Turns out my body just needed some extra time for the levels to become elevated. Once I had that positive test in hand, I was a complete mess. I was so happy I cried. I was so nervous something would go wrong that I cried some more. I called Dave at work and cried even more, called my mom at work and cried to her some more, too. Everyone who had experienced a miscarriage told me that the second time I found out that I was pregnant would be like this - a little bit of joy and a little bit of terror. Clearly we were excited but for me, the fear that this pregnancy would end without a baby was an all-too-real worry for me. So off to the doctor we went for a little reassurance.

After a miscarriage, even just one, the doctor labels your pregnancy "high risk" and you follow a more intense schedule of appointments for the first trimester. For the typical pregnancy, you wait until your 8 week mark to see a doctor. I was in my doctor's office the day after that positive test, at just 4 weeks. We started our first round of blood work. I went every two days for blood work that first week and a half to check my levels - all looked fabulous! I had my first ultrasound at six weeks where the fetal pole was developing nicely. Then again at eight weeks we went for more blood work and another ultrasound. This was the most nerve-wrecking appointment because last time, this is when we found out the baby wasn't developing. Thankfully, this time the baby looked like a perfectly formed little baby (picture a gummy bear people) with a strong-beating heart. Praise God! Yesterday we had our 12 week appointment where another ultrasound showed the baby had nearly tripled in size and the heartbeat was still strong. Baby was moving around too much to hear the heartbeat... looks like we've got an active one in there! My doctor officially removed the "high-risk" label, told me to stop worrying (does she really think I'm capable of not worrying??), and to start telling the world because we really are going to have a baby! So here we are, telling the world. And let me tell you, it's a complete relief to let the cat out of the bag - I never have been good at keeping my own secrets.

I promise this blog won't become all about the pregnancy but I certainly do plan to share about the pregnancy, preparing for baby, and eventually, about our life as a family of three. I plan to do a weekly pregnancy post and share our preparations for baby including nursery progress. I'll also be looking to all my already-parents friends and family for advice on baby gear and hot topics. But you'll certainly still hear about the other aspects of our life (that is if pregnancy doesn't completely consume us for the next six months).

So here begins the journey to parenthood and the Irish family of three! We hope you'll join us as we celebrate this exciting news :)