If you watch just one Christmas program this year, please consider making it CBS's A Home for the Holidays Special.
This Christmas special, sponsored by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and the Children's Action Network, will share stories of families touched by foster care and adoption. The special will be presented by celebrities including Mira Sorvino, Sara Gilbert, Holly Robinson Peete, and Leah Remini. It will also feature performances by some of today's most popular artists including Katy Perry, Maroon 5, Melissa Ethridge, Ricky Martin, and Nelly.
Most importantly, the special will share stories of the more than 114,000 children in the U.S. foster care system. It will remind you that these children are in foster care through no fault of their own but rather as a result of abuse, neglect, or abandonment. That no child is too old to be adopted. That most children wait 3-5 years in the foster care system before being adopted. That it costs virtually nothing to adopt from the foster care system. And that a child is a child no matter what their circumstances and that they all want and deserve a loving, permanent home and family.
A Home for the Holidays will air on CBS on December 22nd at 7pm.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 15
Friday, December 10
My First Adoption
I have been waiting ever-so-patiently (okay, more like incredibly eagerly) since starting my new job to witness my first adoption finalization. Today was finally the day! For those of you familiar with the adoption world, you know the amount of preparation, hard work, emotion, time, and most importantly faith that goes into the adoption process. For children being adopted from the foster care system, this process can last years and includes challenges and demands that range from mandatory birthparent visits to termination of parental rights (TPR) hearings. The process is not for the faint of heart. I like to think that as an Adoption Social Worker I will get as much joy out of an adoption finalization as the family but really, it is the child who we celebrate at these finalization hearings and the true joy lies within the fact that they will forever have a family and that their life in the "system" has finally come to a close.
The adoption I witnessed today was so incredibly beautiful. A beautiful little child was welcomed into their new family with their family and friends present. What I found extra-special about this adoption was the fact that it was an African family adopting an American child. My perspecticve shifted a little. Here I was this American woman with dreams of adopting an African child of my own someday, sitting next to this beautiful African couple who felt the urge to welcome a precious American child into their home. I loved how at one point the judge said, "I believe it really does take a village to raise a child", a true African proverb and a concept that I know will not be lost with this family. I felt incredibly honored to have sat in the court room with this family, their friends, and fellow adoption workers as we witnessed the moment a child was an orphan no more. I witnessed pure love today in the form of adoption and it was simply beautiful.
I will never forget this adoption and this family whose special day I was so privileged to be a part of. It's moments like this that make the challenges of adoption and stress of the social work profession all worth it :)
The adoption I witnessed today was so incredibly beautiful. A beautiful little child was welcomed into their new family with their family and friends present. What I found extra-special about this adoption was the fact that it was an African family adopting an American child. My perspecticve shifted a little. Here I was this American woman with dreams of adopting an African child of my own someday, sitting next to this beautiful African couple who felt the urge to welcome a precious American child into their home. I loved how at one point the judge said, "I believe it really does take a village to raise a child", a true African proverb and a concept that I know will not be lost with this family. I felt incredibly honored to have sat in the court room with this family, their friends, and fellow adoption workers as we witnessed the moment a child was an orphan no more. I witnessed pure love today in the form of adoption and it was simply beautiful.
I will never forget this adoption and this family whose special day I was so privileged to be a part of. It's moments like this that make the challenges of adoption and stress of the social work profession all worth it :)
Thursday, October 14
A Calling
So many people have asked me over the past few weeks how my new job is going. I never really know how to answer that question - partly because I'm still in training and partly because I just don't know how to answer that question. In the past month of the new job, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, confused, unsure, and surprised. The job I thought I was getting into is actually quite different than what I thought it would be and the adoption world I am joining is very very different than the one that I am familiar with. While all that is true, it doesn't mean that I don't, or will not, like the job and that I won't do well in it. In fact, the more I learn each day about the job and about Child Welfare, the more the uncertainty, confusion, and overwhelming feelings fade. You see, while I work for a private Child Welfare agency, I am working with the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare - the State's Child Welfare institution. In essence, while I am working for a private agency, I am not working in the area of private adoptions. All of the children I will work with will be Milwaukee County foster children - they are children with special needs, children with significant issues (mostly behavioral), and children who likely have a long history in the child welfare system. It can be incredibly difficult to find adoptive families for these children, especially the older children. The process for adopting these children is also very different than what I am used to. While there are homestudies and licensing regulations, most families work with the biological families prior to the adoption - they may first be foster parents and have a series of visits with the children prior to determining if adoption is a good fit. It is a complex process and system that I am learning so much about.
So what made me so unsure and confused in the beginning? I always said I didn't want to work for the Bureau. I never wanted to work in Child Protective Services. And I certainly never wanted to detain children... I don't want to be responsible for physically taking a child from their parents. A part of the training that I am completing for this new job is a 12 week academy through the Bureau. I am training with people who will in fact be the social workers responsible for detaining children, social workers who will serve as ongoing case managers, and those who will work on creating safety plans so that children can remain with their biological children after abuse or maltreatment takes place. These first few weeks I've found my personal views on child welfare being challenged - my personal opinions on what should happen to a child or parent when abuse or neglect takes place at times contradict what I am being told I must profesionally value. You can imagine how difficult it is to manage conflicting personal and professional values... especially those that challenge my religious beliefs.
This past Sunday our pastor shared a sermon as a part of our Discovering Transformation series. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. He spoke about work and how we're gifted by God to work. That work is done, should be done, to honor God. We really have three ways to look at our work: as a job, as a career, or as a calling. We can decide to work because we need to have a job to pay the bills and support our families. We can have a career that focuses on our personal accomplishments and growth within a job. Or we can consider our work our calling - a gift from God that challenges us to partner with Him to make a difference in the world. When I took this new job, I think I first thought of it as just a job. We were having a baby and I knew that we would need two incomes to be able to provide for her basic needs. Then I began to think of it as the start to my career - here I was turning my personal passion into my career. I saw this job as a starting point to eventually working in the area of private international adoptions (and yes, I still do hope to eventually work for a Christian, private adoption agency that specializes in international adoptions). What I didn't realize was that this is truly my calling and I need to change my frame of mind to really see it that way. While I am certainly providing for my family and furthering my career, first and foremost, I am making a difference. I am using the passion, gifts, and opportunities that God has given me to make a difference in the lives of children who need and deserve loving, forever families. I am literally following his command to care for orphans and defend the cause of the fatherless. I am blessed to have the opportunity to answer His call - to walk hand in hand with Him to change the lives of children and families in my own community. I think God knew I needed that reassurance and comfort on Sunday about my work as an Adoption Social Worker. I needed to know that He really needs me to wake up each morning and head to my job because if I didn't, His work just wouldn't be complete.
While I still have much to learn about the logistics and realities of my job and child welfare in general, I am feeling much more confident and excited about my new position. I know I will continue to struggle with some of the professional and personal beliefs in relation to this position, I am approaching them with an open mind and am being flexible about my need to be open to change. While I know this isn't the position I'll be in forever, it is the perfect position for me at this point in my life. It also happens to be the position God needed to put me in to be His partner in this world.
So, if in the past few weeks you've asked me how the new job is going and I haven't really answered, go ahead and ask me again. I may just have a different answer :)
So what made me so unsure and confused in the beginning? I always said I didn't want to work for the Bureau. I never wanted to work in Child Protective Services. And I certainly never wanted to detain children... I don't want to be responsible for physically taking a child from their parents. A part of the training that I am completing for this new job is a 12 week academy through the Bureau. I am training with people who will in fact be the social workers responsible for detaining children, social workers who will serve as ongoing case managers, and those who will work on creating safety plans so that children can remain with their biological children after abuse or maltreatment takes place. These first few weeks I've found my personal views on child welfare being challenged - my personal opinions on what should happen to a child or parent when abuse or neglect takes place at times contradict what I am being told I must profesionally value. You can imagine how difficult it is to manage conflicting personal and professional values... especially those that challenge my religious beliefs.
This past Sunday our pastor shared a sermon as a part of our Discovering Transformation series. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. He spoke about work and how we're gifted by God to work. That work is done, should be done, to honor God. We really have three ways to look at our work: as a job, as a career, or as a calling. We can decide to work because we need to have a job to pay the bills and support our families. We can have a career that focuses on our personal accomplishments and growth within a job. Or we can consider our work our calling - a gift from God that challenges us to partner with Him to make a difference in the world. When I took this new job, I think I first thought of it as just a job. We were having a baby and I knew that we would need two incomes to be able to provide for her basic needs. Then I began to think of it as the start to my career - here I was turning my personal passion into my career. I saw this job as a starting point to eventually working in the area of private international adoptions (and yes, I still do hope to eventually work for a Christian, private adoption agency that specializes in international adoptions). What I didn't realize was that this is truly my calling and I need to change my frame of mind to really see it that way. While I am certainly providing for my family and furthering my career, first and foremost, I am making a difference. I am using the passion, gifts, and opportunities that God has given me to make a difference in the lives of children who need and deserve loving, forever families. I am literally following his command to care for orphans and defend the cause of the fatherless. I am blessed to have the opportunity to answer His call - to walk hand in hand with Him to change the lives of children and families in my own community. I think God knew I needed that reassurance and comfort on Sunday about my work as an Adoption Social Worker. I needed to know that He really needs me to wake up each morning and head to my job because if I didn't, His work just wouldn't be complete.
While I still have much to learn about the logistics and realities of my job and child welfare in general, I am feeling much more confident and excited about my new position. I know I will continue to struggle with some of the professional and personal beliefs in relation to this position, I am approaching them with an open mind and am being flexible about my need to be open to change. While I know this isn't the position I'll be in forever, it is the perfect position for me at this point in my life. It also happens to be the position God needed to put me in to be His partner in this world.
So, if in the past few weeks you've asked me how the new job is going and I haven't really answered, go ahead and ask me again. I may just have a different answer :)
Thursday, September 16
Welcome to Adoption
I have officially joined the adoption world. Not as an adoptive parent, or even a prospective one at this point, but as an Adoption Social Worker (or as my official title says, Adoption Placement Specialist). I’ve developed a strong understanding of adoption through my volunteer work, my family and friends who have/are adopting, and from my undergraduate thesis on international adoption. However, joining the ranks as adoption professional is very different than what I am familiar with and is proving to be quite challenging.
I am quickly learning that my understanding of adoption is actually quite limited to international adoptions, especially those using a small, private agency. I also have a greater understanding of how adoption impacts the family adopting – the process they undergo, challenges experienced, and the overall attitude of families choosing to adopt. Now I am on the other side, a side that I am so completely unfamiliar with I am left wondering how I even ended up with this job in the first place. My primary focus it the child – is adoption the best permanence plan for them? What will life be like for them because of adoption? What family fits their needs best? My priorities and thought-process needs to shift from thinking about adoption through the lense of a parent to thinking about it through the eyes of a child.
In the past few days, I’ve been exposed to my new world of adoption. I have quickly learned to change my frame of reference from that of a someday adoptive parent of a child in Africa to that of a Social Worker who will be specializing in domestic adoptions of children within the Wisconsin foster care system. Even more specifically, adoptions of teenagers and those older children who have been waiting for years or potentially their entire lives for a family. This week I’ve been exposed to the realities of adopting from the foster care system and how different the process and outcome is from most international adoptions. I have become especially aware of the realities of my job – witnessing the termination of a parent’s rights, trying to understanding why a teenager is telling me they do not want to be adopted, looking a child the face and telling them they have to move for the 6th time.
I keep reminding myself that no matter how hard or difficult the job may get for me, life will always be harder for the child whose best interest and future I am advocating for. While I certainly won’t be able to share specifics of my experiences as an adoption social worker on this blog for confidentiality reasons, I do hope to be able to continue to share lessons I learn, realities of adopting older children, and my growing heart and appreciation for the foster care system. And I will apologize in advance for the lack of blogging I’ll be doing in the next few months – between an intense training period and the exhaustion of this pregnancy, my free time is usually spent napping. I do promise I won’t disappear completely :)
I am quickly learning that my understanding of adoption is actually quite limited to international adoptions, especially those using a small, private agency. I also have a greater understanding of how adoption impacts the family adopting – the process they undergo, challenges experienced, and the overall attitude of families choosing to adopt. Now I am on the other side, a side that I am so completely unfamiliar with I am left wondering how I even ended up with this job in the first place. My primary focus it the child – is adoption the best permanence plan for them? What will life be like for them because of adoption? What family fits their needs best? My priorities and thought-process needs to shift from thinking about adoption through the lense of a parent to thinking about it through the eyes of a child.
In the past few days, I’ve been exposed to my new world of adoption. I have quickly learned to change my frame of reference from that of a someday adoptive parent of a child in Africa to that of a Social Worker who will be specializing in domestic adoptions of children within the Wisconsin foster care system. Even more specifically, adoptions of teenagers and those older children who have been waiting for years or potentially their entire lives for a family. This week I’ve been exposed to the realities of adopting from the foster care system and how different the process and outcome is from most international adoptions. I have become especially aware of the realities of my job – witnessing the termination of a parent’s rights, trying to understanding why a teenager is telling me they do not want to be adopted, looking a child the face and telling them they have to move for the 6th time.
I keep reminding myself that no matter how hard or difficult the job may get for me, life will always be harder for the child whose best interest and future I am advocating for. While I certainly won’t be able to share specifics of my experiences as an adoption social worker on this blog for confidentiality reasons, I do hope to be able to continue to share lessons I learn, realities of adopting older children, and my growing heart and appreciation for the foster care system. And I will apologize in advance for the lack of blogging I’ll be doing in the next few months – between an intense training period and the exhaustion of this pregnancy, my free time is usually spent napping. I do promise I won’t disappear completely :)
Thursday, August 12
As if a Baby Isn't Enough Excitement...
If you know me, you know that I like to make drastic life changes. And I usually like to make more than one at a time. So, as if having a baby wasn't enough excitement and change for one year, I have also decided to take a new job! When I took my little blogging break last month and said it was because I had so much going on in my life, I literally meant I had so much going on. It was overwhelming. The job change actually began before we found out we were expecting. The day be before, to be exact.
I had been looking for a new job for several months. While I certainly enjoyed working with cancer patients, Oncology wasn't my passion and I was having a very difficult time working for the American Cancer Society. While I fully support the organization's mission, I disagree with their politics, management staff, and use of fundraising dollars. It became incredibly difficult to go to work each day because of these things. I also knew that oncology wasn't the area I wanted to work in forever and neither was working with adults. I've always had a passion for working with children and knew that was the direction I needed to head in. After turning down several not-perfect-for-me offers, I finally accepted a position with a local child welfare agency doing family preservation work (counseling families at risk of losing children to out-of-home foster care). As I waited to start this position, I received a call from someone at another agency I previously turned down a position at about an Adoption Social Worker position that had opened up (these positions opening up is rare, let me tell ya!). She knew my passion for adoption and felt it would be a good fit. I interviewed and waited several weeks (delaying the start of my new job) waiting for an offer. Well, the offer finally came! I'll be starting my new position as an Adoption Social Worker in a few weeks with Children's Hospital & Health System in Milwaukee and I am thrilled! I feel like only God could have orchestrated this for me.
Now don't get me wrong, I am a little terrified of starting a new job with a baby on the way. In fact, the day after I left my job with ACS, I found out I was pregnant. That may have been part of the reason I cried and cried. I was terrified I had made the wrong decision. I was terrified that nobody would want to actually hire a pregnant woman. Well, thankfully I learned there are laws to help protect women in this type of situation and that in fact, it's a normal part of life. And I'd like to think that God has some crazy plan for me, some crazy logic in all of this happening at once, that is bigger than anything I could ever imagine.
I am most excited about this position because it will challenge me to step outside of my comfort zone. I've never been shy about my passion for adoption but for me, personally, I've always leaned towards international adoption. I still firmly believe that is the direction Dave and I will head someday. But this position will open up the world of domestic adoption for me. Not only that, but I'll be working with waiting children (those already in foster care) and older children (especially Milwaukee's teenagers in foster care/homeless shelters). God is really challenging me to look beyond what I am comfortable with to help the "least of these", those kids who are and have been waiting for families for years, maybe even their whole lives. It'll be an amazing opportunity to unite these children with forever families and to help those families interested in adoption prepare for the the placement of an older or waiting child. I am beyond excited for the things I will learn personally from this position and for the opportunity to turn my personal passion into my career. What a blessing!
So life in the Irish house really is a little crazy right now. But I certainly wouldn't have it any other way!
I had been looking for a new job for several months. While I certainly enjoyed working with cancer patients, Oncology wasn't my passion and I was having a very difficult time working for the American Cancer Society. While I fully support the organization's mission, I disagree with their politics, management staff, and use of fundraising dollars. It became incredibly difficult to go to work each day because of these things. I also knew that oncology wasn't the area I wanted to work in forever and neither was working with adults. I've always had a passion for working with children and knew that was the direction I needed to head in. After turning down several not-perfect-for-me offers, I finally accepted a position with a local child welfare agency doing family preservation work (counseling families at risk of losing children to out-of-home foster care). As I waited to start this position, I received a call from someone at another agency I previously turned down a position at about an Adoption Social Worker position that had opened up (these positions opening up is rare, let me tell ya!). She knew my passion for adoption and felt it would be a good fit. I interviewed and waited several weeks (delaying the start of my new job) waiting for an offer. Well, the offer finally came! I'll be starting my new position as an Adoption Social Worker in a few weeks with Children's Hospital & Health System in Milwaukee and I am thrilled! I feel like only God could have orchestrated this for me.
Now don't get me wrong, I am a little terrified of starting a new job with a baby on the way. In fact, the day after I left my job with ACS, I found out I was pregnant. That may have been part of the reason I cried and cried. I was terrified I had made the wrong decision. I was terrified that nobody would want to actually hire a pregnant woman. Well, thankfully I learned there are laws to help protect women in this type of situation and that in fact, it's a normal part of life. And I'd like to think that God has some crazy plan for me, some crazy logic in all of this happening at once, that is bigger than anything I could ever imagine.
I am most excited about this position because it will challenge me to step outside of my comfort zone. I've never been shy about my passion for adoption but for me, personally, I've always leaned towards international adoption. I still firmly believe that is the direction Dave and I will head someday. But this position will open up the world of domestic adoption for me. Not only that, but I'll be working with waiting children (those already in foster care) and older children (especially Milwaukee's teenagers in foster care/homeless shelters). God is really challenging me to look beyond what I am comfortable with to help the "least of these", those kids who are and have been waiting for families for years, maybe even their whole lives. It'll be an amazing opportunity to unite these children with forever families and to help those families interested in adoption prepare for the the placement of an older or waiting child. I am beyond excited for the things I will learn personally from this position and for the opportunity to turn my personal passion into my career. What a blessing!
So life in the Irish house really is a little crazy right now. But I certainly wouldn't have it any other way!
Wednesday, December 16
My Husband
What can I say other than I have the most amazing husband in the world. For so many reasons, he is simply the best. My life has been incredibly blessed by him being a part of it but since we got married in August, I've realized that with him as my husband, life only continues to get better. I let him know every day how much I love him and how thankful I am that he's in my life... but last night, something happened that made me love him just a little bit more (I know, how is that even possible?).
I came home from teaching my children's grief group and was incredibly exhausted. I was looking forward to coming in, putting on my PJ's, and snuggling with him on the couch until I was fast asleep. When I walked in the door, I saw Dave on the computer. I went over to give him a hug to find that he was looking at one of the adoption blogs I had bookmarked. Now, let's be clear here - Dave doesn't really understand this whole blogging thing and he's never the one to initiate conversations about adoption. We've talked about adopting and about my heart for orphans. We know that in the future (or as Dave likes to say, "three or four years from now") we will start the adoption process to bring our child/ren home from Africa. But I never thought I would see him looking at an adoption blog, EVER. Not only was he looking at the blog but from the computers' little speakers came the most beautiful Christian music. Now, he may have just been visiting the blog because he knew that some of his favorite Christian songs were on the blog's playlist, but I'd like to think God planted a little seed in his heart and mind and that's why he was looking at that blog (a girl can hope, right?).
I may remind him every day of God's call to adoption in our lives... remind him every day that all I really want for Christmas is to welcome an orphan into our family... remind him that adopting a child is no different than having a biological child. But last night, he reminded me that God's plan is bigger than me, more than something I can control. He reminded me that I need to become better at waiting (don't we all??). He reminded me why I love him so very much.
We've been in the process of searching for a "home church" since before we got married. One of my criterion for our new church is that they understand the call of God to care for orphans and are open to starting an orphan ministry. After visiting several local churches once, we settled on one church that we would worship at during the Lenten season. We never thought this journey to find that "perfect" church would be so difficult but it has proven emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausting. One thing I do know is that this journey is helping to bring us both closer together in our faith and as husband and wife.
So Dave, if you ever actually read this blog, know that I love you. And that I'll bookmark some more adoption blogs for you to read when I'm not around :)
On the day he became my husband...
I came home from teaching my children's grief group and was incredibly exhausted. I was looking forward to coming in, putting on my PJ's, and snuggling with him on the couch until I was fast asleep. When I walked in the door, I saw Dave on the computer. I went over to give him a hug to find that he was looking at one of the adoption blogs I had bookmarked. Now, let's be clear here - Dave doesn't really understand this whole blogging thing and he's never the one to initiate conversations about adoption. We've talked about adopting and about my heart for orphans. We know that in the future (or as Dave likes to say, "three or four years from now") we will start the adoption process to bring our child/ren home from Africa. But I never thought I would see him looking at an adoption blog, EVER. Not only was he looking at the blog but from the computers' little speakers came the most beautiful Christian music. Now, he may have just been visiting the blog because he knew that some of his favorite Christian songs were on the blog's playlist, but I'd like to think God planted a little seed in his heart and mind and that's why he was looking at that blog (a girl can hope, right?).
I may remind him every day of God's call to adoption in our lives... remind him every day that all I really want for Christmas is to welcome an orphan into our family... remind him that adopting a child is no different than having a biological child. But last night, he reminded me that God's plan is bigger than me, more than something I can control. He reminded me that I need to become better at waiting (don't we all??). He reminded me why I love him so very much.
We've been in the process of searching for a "home church" since before we got married. One of my criterion for our new church is that they understand the call of God to care for orphans and are open to starting an orphan ministry. After visiting several local churches once, we settled on one church that we would worship at during the Lenten season. We never thought this journey to find that "perfect" church would be so difficult but it has proven emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausting. One thing I do know is that this journey is helping to bring us both closer together in our faith and as husband and wife.
So Dave, if you ever actually read this blog, know that I love you. And that I'll bookmark some more adoption blogs for you to read when I'm not around :)
On the day he became my husband...
Wednesday, December 9
Attention All Coffee Lovers!!
I've been a coffee drinker since the day I set foot on Marquette's campus... three cups every morning, a little sugar, and a little milk. Coffee has been my morning routine ever since. I've never had a favorite brand or flavor. If it had caffeine, I drank it! I'm trying to ween myself from coffee and switch to tea for many reasons but I still do love a good cup of coffee once in a while. The best coffee I have ever tasted has come from Africa. Not only does the coffee taste good but when purchased, it DOES good. One organization selling this type of coffee is Just Love Coffee.
Just Love Coffee was founded this year by a man with a love of coffee, a heart for adoption, and an understanding of the workings of Ethiopia's coffee farmers. Rob Webb, founder of Just Love, realized the poor living conditions, working conditions, and minimal wages of the coffee farmers of Ethiopia - the birthplace of the famous cup of java itself! He was inspired to take action, creating Just Love as a a roasting ground for fair trade speciality coffees in which the farmers profit and orphans are helped. Coffee purchased through Just Love also helps families adopting children from Ethiopia and around the world raise funds towards their adoption costs. Plus, the coffee tastes GREAT! Who wouldn't want to wake up every morning to a cup of delicious coffee that not only tastes good, but that is DOING good.
My friend Leigh and her husband are adopting two children from Ethiopia and have recently opened their own Just Love Coffee shop! It would be great if you could purchase a bag or two of coffee to help with their adoption costs and help the farmers of rural Ethiopia continue to brew the one thing so many Americans cannot live without each morning. You can visit Leigh's blog to learn more information about their adoption journey.
Visit Just Love Coffee to order your coffee today!!
And yes, someday when Dave and I begin fundraising for our own adoption, we will likely be asking you to buy coffee again :)
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