27 Weeks

Twenty-seven weeks (well, actually, I'm just about 28 weeks now). Has it really been six weeks already since my last update? I wish I could go back and tell my pregnant-with-Sophia-self to enjoy all of that free time that I had to post about my pregnancy, take pictures of my growing belly, and prepare for a baby. Things are so much different the second time around! I've been busy chasing my "I'm too big for naps, I'm going to play outside all day" toddler that I sometimes forget that I'm pregnant! I've really been enjoying my time with Sophia, though, as busy she keeps me these days. I am soaking up every single minute I have with her as my one and only before I find myself trying to split my time between an energetic, attention-seeking toddler and a very needy newborn.

 

Belly picture on Mother's Day at 27 weeks

She didn't want to be included in this week's picture...all she cared about was a piggy back ride (since baby brother was already taking the front seat)

 

How Far Along: 27 weeks. Less than 13 weeks to go at this point! That sounded like so much time until I realized how much I have left to do. We'll have another ultrasound around 30-32 weeks to see if the partial placenta previa has cleared on it's own, making it safe for me to deliver. If not, my doctor will go ahead and schedule a c-section for me. She was pretty confident that things would separate as they should and I should be able to move forward with delivery the way I see fit. I'm also praying that baby boy decides to stay in until at least his due date. With Sophia I was so anxious to get her out but this time around, I like the idea of being induced again. From a planning perspective, it would make things easier and I honestly felt so relaxed about it all last time around. Plus if I'm induced, my doctor will do it on the day she works from the hospital so I'll have a greater chance of her being able to deliver the baby (she was so calm and wonderful with Sophia's deliver!). Again, someone remind me of my desire to stay pregnant until 40 weeks when I'm uncomfortably huge and hot in August.

Pregnancy Symptoms: I'm comfortable mostly these days, although I will remind Dave at least 100 times a day that I'm really not. I can't get comfortable when I'm sitting or lying down and my feet are usually pretty tired at the end of the day from chasing Sophia from sun-up to sun-down. I'm having awful middle and upper back pain, probably from all of the bending, lifting, and carrying that comes along with having a toddler. Thankfully, the heating pad helps a little and I get a little break when Dave walks in at the end of the day. I've developed nasty acid reflux which I think it contributing to my eating issues. Overall, I can't complain much at this point. I know that I'm in for a lot of discomfort when the weather finally stays warm. These 60 and 70 degree days have been ideal for a pregnant lady, that's for sure. Thank you Mother Nature!

Food Cravings: I'm having a difficult time with food right now, as in I really have no desire to eat most days. Kind of ironic considering I'm always hungry! Nothing sounds appetizing to me (especially chicken!). It's mostly food aversions based on textures and smells at this point.  I have cut out a lot of dairy because it was making my stomach feel just awful. Turns out Almond Milk is actually quite delicious. I have, however, been craving Chobani greek yogurt and sea salt flavored Kettle Chips.

Moves & Grooves: Baby boy used to be so calm and quiet in my belly. He really only moved at night when I was finally able to rest. In the past two weeks, his movements have really picked up. He spends most of the day kicking and punching the inside of my belly. We know he's a long baby so I think he's just running out of room in there. It's been fun feeling the movements again...I forgot what a wonderful feeling it truly is!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Celebrating Mother's Day while expecting. That first Mother's Day after my very first miscarriage was so difficult. I didn't know it at that time but I was actually just a few weeks pregnant with Sophia when Mother's Day came around. Since then, Mother's Day has taken on a whole new meaning because of the losses we've experienced. I found myself thinking more this year about those women yearning to be moms, struggling with getting pregnant, or dealing with the loss of a baby or child. I feel so blessed to have Sophia but celebrating as a mommy-to-be-of-two was even sweeter this year!

Preparing for Baby: It dawned on me the other day that this last trimester is going to go so quickly...it's about time I get cracking at decorating his room and purchasing some non-pink baby gear! Baby's bedding was finally ordered this week and my design-expert friend came over to help me think over the bare walls and what we could do to add a little life and color to the empty grey walls. It's also about time we schedule a tour of the hospital where we are delivering this time. Since a new hospital opened just around the corner from our house, my doctor has since lost her privileges to practice where we had Sophia. I've heard wonderful things about this new hospital's birthing unit...who doesn't love giant whirlpool tubs?

Preparing Sophia: People have started asking how Sophia feels about having a baby brother. At this point, she's beyond excited. She wakes up every morning asking for baby brother to come out and play. She wants to put him in his car seat and give him a bath. She loves taking out all of the baby toys and telling me how she's going to share her toys with him (yea, we'll see about that one!). She likes to tickle my belly and say "tickle tickle baby brother". She snuggles my belly and tells baby brother to go to sleep. She loves going into his room and telling me where he's going to sleep. I think she gets that there really is a baby brother coming (she tells me "three more months" a lot these days) but I'm still nervous about how she'll react when he's here. She calls him "my baby" and has stopped referring to him as "Hector" and sometimes calls him by the name we've chosen. She'll be such a great big sister but I want to make this summer as special as possible for her since she'll never get to be the only child again!

And now we enter the third trimester....

21 Weeks - Baby BOY!

When I was pregnant with Sophia, I did a series of weekly pregnancy posts to document the experience. It has been so fun to look back on those now that we're expecting baby #2! There's so much that I forgot and I'm thankful that I took the time to document. This time around, I have a little less free time on my hands but I wanted to still document some of the milestone weeks, starting with our mid-way point. Let's start with the belly pic (how I wish I had started these earlier to compare!)...

At 20 weeks, 6 days, Easter Sunday

Someone insisted she be included, too!

How Far Along: 21 Weeks. I can’t believe I waited until halfway through this pregnancy to document the details that I’ll soon forget once little man is in my arms. I’ll kick myself for that one someday. But here we are…more than halfway through this pregnancy! I have to admit, I hope this one slows down just a little. It’s much easier to enjoy it the second time around! Plus, I have a wild sweet toddler I’d like to soak up as many precious only-child moments with before the chaotic life with two littles begins.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Looking back, this pregnancy has been pretty comparable to Sophia’s. Right now, my symptoms include some mild nausea (it came back right around 19 weeks like it did with Sophia), insomnia (but hey, I’m used to not sleeping, right?), and a lack of energy (chasing a toddler while pregnant is like doing cardio all day long!). Early on in the pregnancy, I had awful nausea and the vomiting lasted a few more weeks than it did with Sophia. The one thing that’s been different with this pregnancy was the migraines I experienced towards the end of the first trimester and up until week 17. Thankfully, they’ve gone away now but everyone was convinced we were having a boy for that reason.

Food Cravings: Bagels, blueberry muffins, chocolate milk, and ice cream. I’m having more food aversions than cravings really at this point. During the first trimester, I ate whatever I could keep in me and whatever made my stomach feel better – mostly bland carbs like bagels, crackers, and ginger ale. I haven’t been a fan of meats this time around, especially ground meats like turkey or beef. I’m also finding the taste and texture of plain milk to be weird and rather gross. This one always makes people laugh because apparently milk doesn’t have a texture but there’s just something about it that I can’t get past. Hence the chocolate milk…it’s much smoother and well, delicious (probably because it has no nutritional value, right?).

The Belly: Oh the belly…it’s growing much faster the second time around! Dave looks at me daily and asks if my belly doubled in size overnight (not the nicest thing to say to your pregnant wife, Dave!). With Sophia, I didn’t put on maternity pants until just about halfway through and even then, they were always too big. With this pregnancy, I slapped on those elastic-banded jeans at 12 weeks and felt instant satisfaction. My doctor told me not to worry, that by the third baby you put on maternity pants as soon as the little pee stick says positive. Joy! I’m looking forward to wearing some fun spring/summer maternity clothes this time around. Since Sophia’s pregnancy fell in the middle of winter, it was all pants and sweaters. This time I’ll get to wear all those cute dresses and skirts. Remind me that I was excited about cute summer clothes when I’m complaining how hot and huge I am when the weather gets all humid and sticky.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Last week we found out that we are having a baby boy!! Dave and I had a feeling it was a boy from early on but we certainly didn’t have our hearts set on it. When we had our ultrasound, it was incredibly obvious what was hiding between baby’s legs and we are thrilled! It’s absolutely wonderful having a little girl but I’m looking forward to learning about raising little boys. From what I hear, it can be quite different and it’ll be fun to experience both. Sophia was convinced she was having a baby sister but is finally coming around to the idea of a baby brother. We have the room all painted with her old nursery furniture in it and she loves going in his room saying, “Baby brother…where are you?” She loves telling people that there’s a baby in mommy’s belly and insists they take a look. She’s going to be such a great big sister. It’s so much fun having her be a part of our preparations and getting her ready for her big, important role.

There were so many cute ideas on Pinterest for a gender reveal but having an energetic toddler to incorporate, I wanted to keep it simple. I whipped up a little banner and blew up some balloons and Sophia was in heaven. She actually smiled! Here's how we shared the news of what we were expecting:

Pink or Blue?

It's crazy when I stop and think about the fact that I'm just about halfway through this pregnancy. I'll be 20 weeks come Monday and on Tuesday we'll find out if there's a little lady or gent tucked away in my belly. Most importantly, we'll get another peek at what we pray is a healthy little baby!

When I was pregnant with Sophia, I did a series of weekly pregnancy posts on the blog and I have to admit, I wish I had started that again this time around. It's been fun looking back at all of the details of my first pregnancy that I have already forgotten about it. I keep telling people how different this pregnancy is than Sophia's but in actuality, the two appear to sync up quite perfectly. I think I'll start sharing a few weekly pregnancy updates (and the much-requested bump pictures) after our ultrasound next week. Until then, I thought it would be fun to take a look at the gender predictor quizzes and old wives tales to see if this baby is a girl or a boy. When I did this with Sophia, the tests proved to be correct as nearly all predicted we were having a girl! Let's see what those online gender predictor tests say this time around...

Parents.com quiz: It's a boy!

Babyzone.com: It's a girl!

Childbirth.org: It's a girl!

Justmommies.com: It's a girl!

And just for fun, the Chinese Lunar Calendar says we're having a boy.

And now for the Old Wives Tales...

Carrying High, Carrying Low: According to this old wives tale, if you carry low it's a boy and high it's a girl. This one was wrong with Sophia because I carried really low. Right now, it appears that I'm actually carrying right in the middle, a little higher than I did with Sophia. This one's too close to call.

Heartbeats: The story goes, if the heartbeat is above 140 it's a girl and under is a boy. At our 16 week appointment baby's heartbeat was still a strong 155. Prior to that it was up in the 170's. This old wives tale would indicate we're having a girl. This proved to be true for Sophia!

Craving Something?: Sweets mean a girl, sour or salty foods indicate a boy. I'm actually craving neither during this pregnancy. So far, all I want is bagels, bagels, and more bagels...with a few blueberry muffins mixed in. I suppose if I had to pick between the two, I've had more chocolate than anything sour or salty. I did go through a chocolate milkshake phase early on. We'll give a half a point towards girl on this one.

Time to Shave: They say if the hair on your legs is growing faster during pregnancy then you're having a boy. Thankfully, this one isn't true this time around. Shaving your legs during pregnancy is just uncomfortable! Another point for a baby girl.

Headaches: I didn't look at this one when pregnant with Sophia because it wasn't really an issue. This time around, however, I had awful migraines from weeks 12-17. Everyone kept telling me that meant that I was having a boy.

Green at the Gills: Morning sickness early in pregnancy indicates a girl. Unfortunately, I had plenty of morning, noon, and night sickness early in pregnancy (and even today) so we're giving another point to the girl tally.

Meat or Fruit?: Craving meat usually points to a boy, according to the old tales while craving fruit indicates a girl. Given how sick meat makes me feel during this pregnancy (just like with Sophia), I'm going with fruit on this one. Although, I did have one fleeting moment while out to dinner for my dad's birthday where I indulged in a huge bacon cheeseburger. I absolutely regretted it afterwards and have been staying clear of meat since. Let's see what happens when Sendik's busts out their chipotle cheeseburgers for summer grilling...I had a craving for one of those the day of my cheeseburger incident. Another girl point.

Mirror, Mirror: Story goes, baby girls steal their mother's looks during pregnancy. Unlike with Sophia, the hormones appear to not be impacting my appearance as much. I looked like a pre-pubescent boy during my last pregnancy but this time, my skin appears softer and smoother. A point for the boys!

Mmmm, bread: If there was an old wives tale about bread, it was made for me and my bread cravings. This one has to do with the heel of the loaf of bread. If you eat it, you're having a boy and if you refuse to eat it, it's a girl. Sorry boys, but I toss that heel straight into the garbage once it's sliced right off. Plus, I prefer my bread in round, bagel form these days. Cheddar herb bagels to be exact. Now I'm having a craving : ) Another point for girl.
So, it looks like between the online quizzes, Chinese calendar, and the old wives tales, we have nine points for a girl and four for a boy. It appears that the general prediction is a girl this time around, too. Of course all of those things are just for fun. So what do we think? Well, I've pretty much been convinced during this entire pregnancy that it is a boy. Dave thought it was a boy from the very beginning but is now leaning towards a girl. Sophia, well she keeps talking about her baby sister so it appears her mind is made up. Everyone else says we're having a boy...mostly because of the migraines I was having. After people ask you what you think you're having, they ask you what you want. And honestly, we will be perfectly happy with either a boy or girl. I keep telling everyone that aside from being healthy, I just want a baby that sleeps!!

Exciting News!

We were thrilled to share our news yesterday with all of our family and friends that we're expecting baby #2. We've received so much love, support, and many well wishes and we are so SO thankful!

A few weeks ago we got a glimpse of our baby on the ultrasound screen and I can't begin to tell you what a wonderful feeling it was seeing the baby's little heart beating away. Baby was moving all about and had a nice strong heartbeat. Aftering dealing with loss over the past year, this was one big sigh of relief for Dave and I. Yesterday, we finally got to hear the baby's heartbeat. My doctor welcomed us to the second trimester, told me to relax, and assured me that everything was perfect with the baby.

In preparation for sharing the news, I wanted to grab a few cute pictures of Sophia. In the era of Pinterest, it's easy to get carried away with over the top pregnancy announcements. I knew I wanted to keep it simple but cute so I whipped up a little chalkboard sign and convinced myself that Sophia would sit for a few pictures. I must be crazy! Here's a behind the scenes look at how things went...

My first attempt was before church on Sunday.... clearly she's not interested in sitting for me. And she did NOT want to go near mommy's little sign. Of course.

 

N: Can you please smile for mommy? Pllllleeeeassse?

S: No momma. Play ball.

 

I thought maybe I'd have luck with the fireplace but nope, still wouldn't sit still or hold the chalkboard.

 



 

I tried again after nap. I tried our bed where Sophia loves to play. I tried the rocking chair in her room. I finally hung the sign on the wall and got her to sit in her little wooden rocker.

 

N: Sophia, mommy wants to take your picture to tell people about your baby brother or sister.

S: No. No. No. (Insert pouty lips)

 

 

That's when I decided it was time to put the camera away. There would be no cute Pinterest-inspired pregnancy announcement with an almost two year old. As I was putting the camera away, I said something to Sophia about the baby in my belly and she stopped, flashed me a smile, lifted her shirt and said, "Baby Sophia belly."

 

And that's how we got this:

 

 

 

Silly girl really thinks there is a baby in her belly. She also thinks she's getting a baby sister.

Last Weekly Pregnancy Post

Forty weeks

I promise that this will be my very last pregnancy post. I know, I've been hopeful of that for weeks now but really, there is absolutely no way we will see a week 41 of this pregnancy and I am oh-so-very thankful for that! Today is baby girl's due date and Wednesday, February 23rd is induction day. It only seems fitting that we'd have another Wisconsin winter snow storm on her due date. This is officially our last weekend as a family of two. Our last weekend of freedom as so many have pointed out. Our house is peaceful, our time is ours to spend as we want. Now that we have this official end date in sight, things just feel different...in an absolutely wonderful kind of way.

When we went to the doctor this past week, our doctor assured us that we wouldn't be needing that induction date and that she really didn't think we'd be seeing our due date. I may need to ask to see her medical school diploma. While I know it's difficult to predict just when a baby while arrive, she really was certain we would have delivered a good week and a half ago. I can't wait to see the look on her face on Tuesday when we come for our last appointment.

Dave is still holding out hope that she'll come before the induction. Me, on the other hand, I think that baby girl knows that I love when things are planned and an induction, well it doesn't get any more planned than that. While I wouldn't be opposed to her coming out on her own, now that I have it set in my head that Wednesday is the day, I'm actually finding some peace in the waiting. I know that the night before I can make sure our house is clean, our fridge is fully stocked, all the laundry is done and put away, and that all of her things are ready and waiting for when we arrive home from the hospital. I can enjoy one last peaceful night, get some last-minute sleep, and not feel rushed in the morning before heading to the hospital. There won't be any rushing around the house to throw last-minute things into my hospital bag. There won't be any wondering if the contractions are real or if my water actually broke. I like things planned and I am kind of looking forward to being in control for just a minute on Wednesday morning. It'll be nice for our family and friends to know where are so we don't have people lingering at the hospital while I'm in labor. I've made it clear on my birthing plan that no one (aside from my husband and mom of course) is allowed near my room until a good hour or two after she's born, when we're ready for visitors. And since the waiting area is cramped and labor can take quit some time, this allows everyone else eagerly awaiting her birth to rest comfortably at home until receiving a call that we're ready for visitors. Yes, I'm begining to look forward to this induction. I am, however, going on the assumption that once I'm induced labor will progress naturally, in a rather quick fashion, so that I don't end up having a c-section. I told Dave I kind of feel like my body has failed me already since baby girl has progressed so close to the point of labor and now I have to be induced. However, I think having a c-section would be the ultimate failure and letdown at this point. I'm praying things continue to go smoothly and naturally, though and if it gets to that point we'll face it then.

Thanks for following along on our pregnancy journey. We appreciate your continued prayers and well-wishes for a healthy, safe delivery and for a healthy baby girl. We look forward to sharing the joyous news of her arrival this week!

The Showering Continued

Since this blog has become the official documentation of our pregnancy (I'm working on turning the pregnancy posts into an actual book), I wanted to share about our last two baby showers that came as a complete surprise last week.

Every Wednesday morning my team has what we call "Matching Meetings" where we present new homestudy-approved families added to our waitlist and update each other on our recruitment and matching efforts for the kids on our caseloads. These meetings are much-anticipated for the simple fact that bagels are usually involved. I was on my way to the meeting last week when various people, including my supervisor, felt the need to stop and talk to me about what I felt to be very insignificant things. As we were sitting her office discussing her son being sick the day before, I kept looking at the clock thinking "We're going to be late and I could really use a bagel!". Five minutes after the meeting started, a co-worker called her office to ask if she was coming to the meeting. I was just hoping all the good bagels weren't gone at that point. Social workers are like vultures when it comes to free food. Little did I know, all the randomness of the morning was actually stall tactics so that my co-workers could put the finishing touches on decorating the conference room in lots of pink! There was a huge spread of delicious food (bagels included), a beautiful little cake, lots of pink decorations, some very special balloons, and a lot of smiling faces waiting for me on the other side of the conference room doors when I opened them. It was a lovely surprise. We enjoyed some food and discussed horrendous baby names we've seen throughout our careers in child welfare. They gave me a beautiful card with a very generous Target gift card to purchase some of the items remaining on our registry. I am so thankful that although I've only worked at Children's for a short period of time, I have such a thoughtful bunch of co-workers. I just wish I had a camera on hand to take pictures!

The very next day, Dave's co-workers surprised him with his very own baby shower. I was so incredibly thrilled to hear that they did this because I know how special it made Dave feel. I think often as the dad you don't get to share the full excitement of pregnancy with others since you dont visibly carry a baby around inside of you for nine months. Dave has some truly wonderful co-workers who showered him with lots of food, more delicious cake, and some very thoughtful gifts. I have been talking about how I plan to make all of our own baby food but they had no idea! There must be some experienced mammas among his co-workers because they got us a really nice food processor, two delicious baby recipe books, food storage trays for the freezer, and all the fixings for baby food making. Not to mention some adorable bibs, burp cloths, and toddler eating accessories. Luckily Dave's boss captured a few pictures on his Blackberry. We are both so blessed to have supportive work families who are as much awaiting baby girl's birth as we are!

Patience

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." - Colossians 3:12

This has always been one of my favorite Bible verses. It's simply one of those verses that I strive to exemplify in my daily life. Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Who wouldn't want to possess those qualities? I will admit that personally, some of those qualities are easier to possess than others. Some come easier to me because I feel like they are so ingrained in who I am as a person - they are a part of who I am as a wife, a daughter, a friend, and a social worker. Throughout my life, I have watched my ability to show compassion, kindness, and gentleness to the "least of these" grow. I have a heart for the poor, the orphan and the widow, the destitute, the sick, and those suffering. I am a social worker, afterall. I often find myself trying to instill these qualities in those around me as well - attempting to break down stereotypes, racism, and judgements that are often unwarranted and the result of ignorance, fear, or the environment in which someone was raised. While I consider those qualities my strengths, I struggle with the others. Humility is a quality that I think everyone struggles with. How can we be humble while also striving to be the best versions of ourselves? How do we show pride in our accomplishments while maintaining the humility God commands us to have? Perhaps the most difficult of all the qualities in this verse is patience. Patience is something I can openly say I do not have. I am an impatient person regardless of circumstance. When I want something, I want it now. I'm convinced I was genetically wired to be an impatient person. Thanks, mom (let's not kid ourselves into thinking my dad actually could've passed along this trait. He's the most patient man I know).

I've said before that one of the hardest things about pregnancy is all the waiting. You wait for that magic little stick to display the results you've been hoping for. You wait to see if a tiny heartbeat will appear on the ultrasound screen. You wait to see if your baby will continue to grow, if your pregnancy will be viable. You wait for the sickness to pass and your energy to be renewed. You wait to find out what baby is or isn't hiding between it's little legs. You wait to put together a nursery and for baby showers to bring all the baby stuff to fill that nursery. You wait in excitement as the end of the pregnancy draws near. In all of the months of this pregnancy, the last three weeks have been the hardest. In fact, the last three weeks have felt longer than the entire pregnancy. Knowing how close we are the end but not knowing exactly when the end is coming has really tested the patience gene I really think I'm lacking. I'm pretty sure my husband lacks it as well. In fact, his case of impatience may be worse than mine at this point. He sits next to me as I'm having contractions playing his own version of 100 questions. Are they strong? How far apart are they? Do I need anything? Keep breathing (okay, that's not a question but you get what I'm saying).

Well, in these last few weeks I've certainly prayed for a lot more patience, more than ever before. Waiting is hard in any circumstance. I think about those adopting; waiting for their referrals or to travel to meet their children and bring them home where they belong. I think about those waiting for cancer treatments to end, for news of a diagnosis, or for peace after the loss of a loved one. There are those waiting for news of a job offer or for their wedding day to finally arrive. So many people in my life are waiting on something. I just happen to be waiting on a baby. Patience. I just have to have patience. I may joke that baby girl is never going to come out but she is...maybe later than I would have hoped or expected. But she's coming. By next Wednesday, she'll be here. Patience. I just need a little more patience.

Mid-Week Pregnancy Post

I never realized how many people are actually reading my blog until I start to get messages about my posts. Many of you have asked in the past 24 hours if baby girl decided to give her mommy a special birthday present this year. Unfortunately, she did not arrive yesterday but I did get to spend part of my birthday visiting my doctor. Thank goodness we love her and her nurse so much and thank goodness she gave us good news!

I'm still progressing towards labor naturally. I'm a good 3cm dilated and 90-95% effaced. Our doctor always says how content she must be when we're listening to her heartbeat because it's always strong and loud. I had the option of having a little more intense of an internal exam yesterday in hopes that she could strip my membranes and help get labor started. I gladly accepted this little birthday gift and promised nurse Tory I wouldn't let me water break in the exam room because she really didn't feel like cleaning it up at 5pm on a Tuesday. My water didn't break but she certainly got things going. I’ll spare you the details other than to say that the contractions have really picked up and I’m feeling a lot more pressure. My doctor said that if her exam was successful, I would likely go into labor within 24-28 hours. If not, I could still go into labor naturally or baby could still be in there a little while longer. The good news is that we have set an induction date for next Thursday, February 24. At least there’s a definitive end in sight! My doctor did say that she was setting the induction date fully intending to cancel it – she’s still convinced my body will naturally go into labor in the next week. Either way, things look good and I am so thankful that my body is doing what it needs to do to allow labor to progress naturally so that I don’t have to have a c-section.

Today is a little bittersweet for us as a year ago today we found out that our first baby had stopped developing and that we were going to miscarry. I remember sitting in the doctor’s office last February 16 listening to the doctor explain what would happen over the next 24 hours. I went home with the medication that would help induce the miscarriage and in the early morning hours of February 17th I had miscarried. Throughout this pregnancy, knowing that our baby girl’s due date was so close to this date, I’ve said that I really don’t want her to be born on February 17th. It was just a date that held so much pain for me. When our doctor said labor could come within 24-48 hours I was reminded of that fact that she very well could be born on February 17th. Dave said yesterday that if she were to born tomorrow, on the very day I kept saying I didn’t want her to be born, that it would be because it’s God’s plan. My mom reminded me of this a few days ago as well – she told me that maybe things need to come full circle and maybe it’s all just a part of the healing process. I think they’re both right. If my daughter is born tomorrow it will be an incredibly wonderful day filled with so much joy. It will become a day of blessings rather than pain. It will remind me of God’s grace and mercy and His ability to bring joy during times of healing.

On a side note, since I have started to hear that people are following the blog aside from those who are official followers listed below, I want to let everyone know that I am considering making my blog private following the birth our baby girl. With all the technology today and the amount of danger the Internet can bring, especially to children, we want to do what’s best to protect our daughter. We’d love for you to continue to follow our journey. To ensure that you can still follow our private blog, you can click the “follow” button on the lower right side of the page or you can let me know that you still want to read and provide me with your email so that I can allow you access. I’ve loved hearing that people are following our life journey – there are more of you than I ever anticipated when I first created this blog. I look forward to being able to continue to share more as we begin our parenting adventure!

The Things I'll Miss

This morning driving into work Dave looked at me and said, "Aren't you going to miss being pregnant?". Cue the "are you serious?" stare. Absolutely, positively, no way. In between the traffic-induced nausea I probably actually uttered something like "ummm no" and that was the end of that conversation. Back to listening to my husband complain about all the idiots on the road at 7am.

But as I've had some time to think today I realized that maybe there a few things about pregnancy I'll miss. Now don't get me wrong - I am definitely not a pregnancy woman. You know what I'm talking about. There are some women who love being pregnant and can't wait to do it over and over again. I am not, nor never will be, one of those women. At best, I'm one of those women who will look back and say I gave it a try, didn't like it, but will admit it's worth it when you see your beautiful baby being born. I still have a preference to adopt the rest of our children, though. Dave's still trying to bargain for one more biological child first. That's a battle to be continued.

Anyways, back to the things I will actually miss about pregnancy. While I look forward to holding my baby in my arms, it will be a little strange to not feel her moving around in my belly all the time. Dave still gets so excited every time he feels her move. To me, it's become second nature. I fall asleep to her gentle kicks and wake up to her swift punches, indicating I've gone far too long without feeding her. It'll be weird to not spend my days counting her kicks or giving her little high fives.

I’ll definitely miss chocolate. I’ve had a terrible sweet tooth, especially throughout the later half of this pregnancy when I’ve been feeling my best. I love everything chocolate. Unfortunately, chocolate doesn’t fit into my “get back in shape post-baby” diet and I’m pretty sure it would be counter-productive to all the exercise I plan to find time for so I’ve already declared that my relationship with chocolate ends as soon as she vacates my body. I know it’ll be hard to quit this terrible little addiction cold turkey so perhaps a piece or two of dark chocolate a day will be necessary for the weaning process. Afterall, dark chocolate does provide SOME nutritional value according to the latest research and I will need a little caffeine to keep me energized for all those diaper changes and feedings.

I’ll also miss making friends with strangers. It’s so easy to make new friends while pregnant. Everyone wants to know when you’re due or what you’re having and of course if you’ve picked a name. I’ve met new people in the locker room at the gym, washing my hands in the bathroom at work (usually other pregnant ladies since that is where we spend most of our day), nice cashiers and baggers at the grocery store, other young couples at church, and just about any other public place where people enjoy talking about pregnancy. While it still creeps me out when people touch my belly, I do enjoy sharing about our pregnancy and it’s always an easy conversation starter. Heck, I even made friends with the old macho body builder dude at the gym last night whose skinny yet freakishly muscular body totally freaks me out – who would’ve thought a big Cretine-loving man like that would care about a baby!

I wish I could say I will miss being spoiled by my husband with foot and back rubs, him helping with the laundry and cooking, or his need to be over-protective of me but I really don’t think that’ll end after pregnancy. I’ve always known my husband to be an incredibly caring and considerate man but pregnancy has made him even more of a softie (a very manly softie I assure you) and having a baby girl only made his heart a little softer. He reminds me constantly that I’m the most important girl in his life and I’m prepared to share that title with our baby girl soon. I also know that he’ll continue to help out around the house and he’ll do the best he can to make my job as a mom easier, especially in the early weeks. Although, on second thought, those foot rubs definitely will come to an end due to our mutual hatred of feet. I could do without the foot rubs once all this swelling goes away!

Finally, I’ll miss being able to use the constant hormonal changes as an excuse for speaking my mind or acting like a complete mad woman at times. While I look forward to my hormones getting back to normal, it has been nice to say exactly what’s on my mind and not worry about the consequences. Everyone gives a pregnant woman a pass. Hormones can be a fabulous little weapon. I wonder if women going through menopause use this excuse as well. That would explain soooo much. Just saying.

I’ve spent the past nine months with a baby inside my belly – my daily routine and life have been impacted by her being inside of there in so many ways. So while I am looking forward to not being pregnant so very soon, I know there will be little things I’ll miss, especially at first. I’ll be curious to see if my feelings towards pregnancy chance once she’s finally here.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Thirty-nine weeks. Yippppiieeee!!! (you should note some serious sarcasm there)

We didn't actually think we'd make it this far to be honest. I know most first babies come on or near their due date but we really were progressing towards labor rather quickly that we convinced ourselves that she'd be early. I guess we learned our lesson on that one. Dave still thinks she's coming in the next few days...I'm starting to think she may just hold out until her due date, if not a few days later. I'm already in early labor - our doctor said on Thursday that I'm sooooo very close to being in active labor. Literally, baby girl has done everything right to move the process right along...she's just being a little stubborn in going the last little bit of the way here at the end. Our doctor said she really didn't think she'd make it until next Sunday and she's almost certain she won't be late. Then again, she did say babies can change their minds and she'll still come when she's good and ready. Thanks for the confidence there, doc!

My contractions are really intensifying so I know labor must be near. I've had some as frequent as five minutes apart, lasting a minute (which signals active labor has begun) BUT they haven't stayed consistent like this for at least an hour (the final prerequisite to head to the hospital). I'll have awful contractions for an hour or two, at various intervals, and then go a few hours without any. When I'm having contractions I get terrible chills, nausea, and headaches - my doctor said this is all wonderful because it means my body is working towards active labor. I say it makes me feel even worse and usually I curl up on the couch and try to sleep through it. I actually never thought I'd beg for painful, frequent contractions but at this point I'd do anything to get her out and hold her in my arms. Everyone told me this all along when I'd say how afraid I am to give birth but right now, I'm ready for the pain if it means I get to meet my daughter.

Dave and I have been attempting to keep busy but the waiting is still hard. We've cleaned the house nearly every day this week, I've rearranged all the baby stuff in the house a million time, and I've taken to piling up meals in our freezer to keep us energized our first few days full. We had one last date, just the two of us, this afternoon at the movies. Dave even gave me my birthday/valentine's present a few days early to help distract me from the waiting. Before we even had kids I told him that instead of anniversary bands for my wedding ring I wanted to get a single band of diamonds for each child we had so that I could stack them on my right ring finger as a reminder of each of my children. He certainly has a good memory and he came bursting through the door Saturday morning, dying to give me my gift. It's absolutely beautiful and we can't wait to have it engraved with baby girl's birthdate!

So, here's to hoping that the next pregnancy-related post has a sweet picture of a beautiful little baby girl instead of one of my big ole basketball belly :)

Twenty Five Years Later

On Tuesday I will turn twenty-five. Sure, this birthday marks a few milestones in my personal life – I’ll be a quarter of a century old, I can finally rent a car, my car insurance rate will drop (yippie!!), and most significantly, I’ll become a mom. But that’s not what makes this birthday so special. I came to the realization the other day that exactly twenty five years ago my mom was preparing for my birth…she was preparing to become a mom with the birth of her own first child. To some it may seem like an insignificant coincidence but for me it makes this time even more special. Twenty five years ago, my mom was in the very same position that I am now. She was waiting for me to arrive, feeling uncomfortable and swollen, and full of love for her unborn daughter (although she didn’t know I was a girl at the time – they didn’t do ultrasounds back then). I wish I could take a glimpse back in time and watch my mom as she went about her days with me tucked in her belly. I wish I could remember the words she whispered to me and the pleas I’m sure she made for me to come out safely and quickly. I wish I could feel just a minute of her joy the moment I finally arrived.

I don’t think I could have survived this pregnancy without my mom. I’m pretty sure she’s experienced all the emotions, side effects, and anticipation right along with me. It’s almost like her own body has traveled back twenty five years – while her womb may now be empty, I know her heart is just as full as it was when she waited for her own daughter to be born. After our miscarriage, Dave and I decided that we’d wait to tell our families the next time we got pregnant because we saw how hard the loss was on them as well. We wanted to make sure we knew the next pregnancy would be viable first. Well, when the word “pregnant” popped up on that little stick back in June, I called Dave immediately at work and after exchanging a few words of excitement among the tears, he told me to call my mom. He knew I was overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and joy and that I’d need my mom to help get me through the next few weeks. I’m pretty sure I had her work phone number dialed before I even hung up the phone with Dave. And he was right; she really was exactly what I needed over the next few weeks. She validated my fears and calmed my worries. She left work to bring me Gingerale, soup, and crackers when my head hit the toilet. Being pregnant made me realize how much I still need my mom (and undoubtedly, always will, especially as I begin parenting for the first time). Being pregnant reminds me how very much I appreciate her willingness and heart to put others needs first. While Dave was (and continues to be) a wonderful source of support during this pregnancy, nobody can take the place of a mother in a woman’s life as she prepares to become a mother herself. I’m so thankful for the relationship I’ve had with my mom over the past twenty five years and I look forward to how it will continue to grow and change as we step into our new roles as mother and grandmother to my baby girl.

In just a few short days I’ll experience the joy my mom felt twenty five years ago as she became a mom for the first time. I cannot think of a greater birthday gift than that...

I'm here to announce...

...that I am still pregnant. Believe me, I'm as disappointed as you are.

I've received so many texts, emails, facebook messages, and phone calls asking if baby girl has arrived yet. I can assure you that she is still nestled comfortably (for her anyways) in my womb. In fact, I'm convinced she's caught on to the fact that it really is absolutely freezing outside (seriously, with a windchill of 10 below, it's freezing even for Wisconsin!). My belly isn't all that bad of a place to spend her days given that it's all nice and warm and cozy. While she may be enjoying her last few days (or weeks) in there, I certainly am not. I wear slippers under my desk at work, waddle like a duck, eat like a bear storing up food for the winter, and alternate the same two pairs of work pants all week long because my legs are too swollen for all the others. If I sound like I'm whining it's because I am - my doctor gave me full permission to whine like a two year old these last few weeks because she knows how absolutely miserable the end of pregnancy is. If you've been there you most certainly can understand my desire to scream repeatedly all day long, "Get this baby out of me!!"

With just eleven days until her due date, people have begun placing bets as to when they think she'll arrive. The majority still feel she'll arrive this weekend with a few people picking Valentine's Day or my birthday. A few weeks ago I would've told you she'd likely come early but now I think she may just hold out until the very end. We did tell her, afterall, that she's not due until February 20th. Dave reminds me every day that it's in God's hands and that she'll come when He feels she's good and ready. Waiting is hard; having patience is harder. Admitting my husband is right may just be the hardest thing of all... :)

Nursery

We finally put the finishing touches on baby girl's nursery with two weeks to spare (technically anyways). I plan to add some photographs of her and us as a family above her bed once she's born but the room is all ready for her. it's the smallest room in our house and a sort-of odd shape but we managed to squeeze in all the essentials without making it look cluttered. I wanted the room to be as functional as it is cute, cozy, and safe. While I certainly changed my mind a few times during the decorating process (two painting jobs and different colored furniture top the list of changes), I am happy with how it turned out and I think it's a room fit for a little princess :)

Here's a look back at the room before we began converting it into her nursery. It was a second guest bedroom with some of my childhood furniture in it. The daybed has since gone to my grandparents house and the dresser was moved into the other bedroom.











And here's a peak at the room now. It's a nice pale shade of pink with espresso-colored furniture, soft brown curtains, a comfy pink rug, and some bright pink lamps to accentuate the colors in the bedding (the lamps were a must since the room doesn't have overhead lighting). We have some hand-made artwork and plenty of storage room in the closet to hide toys and clutter as she grows. I've got breastfeeding supplies tucked away in the bins on her small espresso storage shelf that also doubles as a nightstand since we didn't have room for a table. It's amazing what you can do with such a small space!

Looking in from the doorway


View from entry into room


Wall against the doorway


"It's a Zoo!" bedding - we won't use the blanket until she's over a year and no bumpers of course for safety reasons


Storage and functionality all in one!


Changing table/dresser combo - great space saver!


Changing pad cover matches the bedding


A friend drew us some pictures to match the animals on her bedding/changing pad cover - way better than anything we could've drawn ourselves!


Closet organization and lots of pink clothes!


Dave testing out the rocker

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Thirty-eight weeks. Two centimeters dilated (at least), 80% effaced, and her head is in the negative one station, meaning it's as far down as it can go without me being in active labor. If you've ever been pregnant than you understand those numbers. If you haven't (or if it's been a while) this basically means that she is more than ready to come out. In fact, my doctor said that some women would already be in labor at this point. If this were my second or third pregnancy I'd likely have delivered by now. She said that because my uterine muscles are all nice and tight I can hold her in there just a little longer and stronger and for some reason she's just not ready to come out yet.

I certainly have held up my end of the deal in helping motivate her to come out. I do about 40 minutes on the elliptical or treadmill each day, I've cleaned my house from top to bottom, I've eaten way too much spicy food this past week, and I've taken lots of hot showers and baths. I still think all of those labor-inducing tricks are bogus. She'll come when she's good and ready but I am certainly good and ready. Baby girl is resting on a nerve in my upper abdomen which is causing some pain, the swelling only continues to worsen in my legs, and I still have trouble breathing even though my belly has noticeably dropped (just compare the above picture to one a few weeks ago). Last night I thought for sure my water was breaking as I was in the bathroom every 5-10 minutes. I think I'm starting to leak small amounts of amniotic fluid because I always feel like I'm peeing myself but I've been assured that when my water actually breaks I'll most certainly know. My contractions are still varied in pattern but can come for a few hours at a time, every twenty minutes, lasting about a minute each. Last night they came about every ten minutes, adding to my anxiety that labor was near. We know it's only a matter of days now but it's the not knowing when that's starting to get to us both. We're both too anxious to play the waiting game any longer!

We're hoping this is our last weekly pregnancy post but she may just decide to hold out until her due date, despite the progress she's already made towards delivery. Her daddy was sort of hoping to watch the Superbowl game with her today. It would've been rather fun for her to cheer the Packers onto a victory by entering the world today but given that it's just two hours to kick-off, I'd say it's safe to assume she won't be a Superbowl baby. I have, however, gotten pretty good at deciphering her kicks though and I'm pretty sure she's chanting "Go Pack Go!!" in there :)

Blizzzzzzzard

I had a tiny amount of hope that those rumors that snowstorms brought babies would be true but the blizzard of 2011 has come and gone and I'm still pregnant. So while 15 inches of snow was piling up outside of our windows, we hunkered down inside to take a few pictures together. We are having professional maternity pictures taken on Saturday but just in case she arrives before then, I told Dave we needed a few good ones of us together to remember this pregnancy by. I suppose I could've done my hair and we could've put on some nicer clothes but these pictures seem to be a more accurate representation of this pregnancy - messy hair, tired eyes, and lots of sweatpants! After about 100 attempts, I found a few that satisfied this crazy pregnant lady :)





Of course we couldn't stay inside forever (and by we I actually mean Dave). We both had snow days today (if you count having to use a vacation day) so I suppose we could have put off digging ourselves out but my hubby wanted to be sure we could get out just in case I went into labor. Which I appreciate because my dad's backup plan for getting me to the hospital with all this snow was on the back of his snowmobile. Somehow I doubt I'd be the first pregnant lady in Wisconsin to get to the hospital that way. Anyways, while Dave braved the blizzard's winds outdoors, I snapped a few pictures from the safety and comfort of our home.

Snowdrift outside our front door


Where to begin...


I think you'll need more than a shovel, Dave!


There's the mailbox!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Thirty-seven (and a half) weeks.

I'm a little behind on the weekly pregnancy post. That's what happens when in a matter of a week you go from feeling alright to suddenly begging your daughter to vacate your body and enter the world because you're convinced that if you have to be pregnant one more day your body will just stop functioning. I am amazed at how in just a few short days things changed to drastically.

When we went to the doctor last Tuesday for our 36 week appointment my doctor informed me that I was already 2 centimeters dilated, baby girl had dropped into position, and that I had "the cervix of the day" (seriously, those were her words). I've neglected to read all those pregnancy books sitting on our bookshelves because they scare the crap out of me and I know better than to trust everything you read. So I wasn't really aware or even prepared for our doctor to inform us that I was already dilated with four weeks until my due date. Of course the logical question out of my mouth after she informed us of this was when baby girl was going to arrive. Our doctor informed us that it could be a matter of a few days or a few weeks - there really was no way to predict that. Dave tried asking again and she laughed. She plead the fifth and said she doesn't want to be held accountable for any wrong estimates. Fair enough. Either way, we were excited to know that everything was progressing perfectly and naturally so far and we have high hopes that in the next week or two (hopefully!) I'll go into labor the good old fashioned way and have a successful labor and delivery.

While my co-workers are convinced I'll have the baby on Friday (not sure how this date was picked!?), I've been told that women can walk around for weeks dilated and not make any more progress. I'm praying that after we go to the doctor on Thursday she'll tell me that I've dilated even further and that she's confident I'll be going into labor soon. Everyone also has advice on how to naturally induce labor and while I'm not sure I believe in any of these methods, I am walking like a mad woman at the gym and staying plenty hydrated. I'm including spicy foods in our weekly menu plans and enjoy a hot bath once in a while. I've been told that snowstorms can also induce labor and well, we've had one this week and we're in the middle of a blizzard right now but it's not looking promising.

While I am incredibly eager to start this labor process and welcome our baby girl into the world, I am also experiencing an overwhelming amount of anxiety around going into labor. I don't sleep because I can't stop dreaming terrible dreams about labor (think delivering on the side of the road during a blizzard) and I have this fear all night and day that my water is going to break in the most unsuspecting place. The amount of pelvic pressure and pain I am feeling was something I was not prepared for. It scared me at first, especially when coupled with the intense contractions I am beginning to feel. Each day they get stronger and last longer but I know that they are still just braxton hicks contractions and I'll know when the real ones actually arrive. I think I'll actually be much more relaxed and calm when my water finally breaks because that element of anticipation will finally disappear.

Despite how I may be feeling now and how awful these last few weeks could be for me physically, I know we're so close to finally holding our baby girl in our arms and that makes any amount of pain and discomfort worth it. I'm hoping this is my last weekly pregnancy post but you never know...afterall, we did learn early on that baby girl can be just a little bit stubborn :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

It’s the final countdown… four weeks to go!

Is it acceptable to start feeling incredibly anxious at this point in time? Please say yes because that’s the one word that best describes the multitude of emotions I am experiencing with just four weeks to go until our due date. Everyone keeps asking if we’re excited and yes, we are very very VERY excited. We’re excited to meet our baby girl and I’m excited to no longer be pregnant. But on top of all that excitement is pure anxiety and for an already overly-anxious person, this added anxiety is causing me to feel a bit neurotic and act a lot like a crazy woman. Just ask my husband. I’m a planner and an organizer. It’s just what I do and who I am. Not knowing exactly when I’m going to go into labor or how much longer we have until she arrives is driving me a bit crazy. I have been feeling this overwhelming urge to just be ready, completely and totally ready, even though I know that you really can’t ever be ready for a baby’s arrival. This weekend we cleaned the house from top to bottom – every floor was scrubbed clean, the shop-vacuum came out for a good dust clean-up, cabinets were cleared out and contact-papered, and toilets were scrubbed. Not that she’s going notice any of those things, right? I just feel so much better knowing our house is clean. We finished her bedroom with the exception of the lamps that I’m still waiting for Land of Nod to deliver to my front door. My hospital bag is packed with the exception of a few last-minute items to be thrown in on the day-of. I woke up about 50 times last night after having dreams of my water breaking. I'm sure this is normal but if she doesn't arrive for four more weeks I may just drive MYSELF crazy! I think Dave will be thankful when she arrives for the simple fact that I’ll regain some of my sanity and he’ll be able to watch his weekend sports without the constant dictation of his next task. Then again, he WILL have a baby demanding lots of attention and dictating diaper changes and feedings (sorry, my love, but your sport-watching weekends will never be the same again :)).

How Far Along: Thirty-six weeks

Well, Hello Bags: By bags I mean those lovely bags that form under your eyes that tell the rest of the world just how tired you're feeling. I could get 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep and still manage to have those dark bags under my eyes. I can't even remember the number of people who told me that I looked tired last week. That's an understatement and a feeling that I'm sure won't subside for a very long time. Ironically enough, I'm getting the most sleep now that I've gotten throughout my entire pregnancy. I think this nasty cold virus I'm trying to fight off may have something to do with it. Either way, if you happen to notice the bags, politely tell me that I look wonderful and move on :) Make a pregnant lady feel a little better, would ya?!

Food Cravings: This week I had two very spontaneous and random grocery store purchases: chocolate milk and Frosted Mini Wheats. I haven't had chocolate milk in a very long time but I managed to finish off the gallon in a day and it tasted delicious. I've never had Frosted Mini Wheats in my entire life but for some reason that bright orange box stood out to me as I walked down the cereal aisle and they just looked too deceptively delicious on the cover I had to have them. Unfortunately, they didn't live up the hype but I do plan on finishing that box.

Just the Two of Us: Dave and I have really been trying to savor our last few weeks as a family of two. Last weekend we enjoyed a little night out at the movies, seeing The Dilemma. On Saturday night we spent our last Christmas gift card on dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. Despite some terrible service and my pizza being delivered covered in onions (I'm mentally allergic to those nasty little things), it was a nice night out. We even did a little browsing at Baby Gap and both agreed that once she's born and we know just what size she is we'll be heading back for some adorable spring and summer outfits! We know it'll be a while before we get some time together, just the two of us, once she's born so we figure we should make the most of the time now. Although, I will admit we spend most of our time talking about all the things we plan to do with baby girl and really, we're just so excited to become a family of three!

Superbowl Bound: Dave has informed me that I am not allowed to give birth on Sunday, February 6th now that the Packers are Superbowl bound. And if I do happen to be in labor during the Superbowl, it will be on in my room and he will efficently multi-task in cheering me on while cheering on the green & gold. I politely informed him the last thing I want as background noise while in labor is football but there's no reasoning with a man who loves sports. While it's highly unlikely I'll go into labor two weeks early, I did tell him that she might just decide to arrive that day to prove to her daddy that she will always come before sports :)

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Realizing that in less than a month we'll finally be parents. I've been pregnant for over a year now in theory (give or take a few months) and I'm more than ready to hold our baby girl in my arms. Knowing we're this close to that day makes me feel like a kid on Christmas morning!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Our laptop is on its last leg and isn’t letting me upload pictures so you’ll have to trust me when I tell you the belly has grown since last week. Consider this a warning that this post is likely to be incredibly long. I keep having this fear that I’m going to go into labor at any minute (yes, I know our due date is still nearly 5 weeks away) and I don’t want to miss any of the last-minute details of this pregnancy.

How Far Along: Thirty-five weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Swelling – especially in my feet, ankles, and lower legs. I hadn’t really noticed it until last week when my doctor pointed out that my ankles were swollen. Sure enough – that would explain the pain in my feet and legs recently. Guess it’s easy to miss when you can’t see your feet and you hide under long pants and winter boots!

Food Cravings: I had a miracle craving this week – broccoli!!! I have never ever liked or even really eaten broccoli in my entire life. Unfortunately (or fortunately when I was a kid), I didn’t have parents who forced me to eat my vegetables in order to leave the dinner table. I always try to incorporate more vegetables into my diet but I usually mask their true nutritional value with some melted cheese or something else rather unhealthy. I thought living with a vegetarian during grad school would help but here I am, still refusing to eat my vegetables. Periodically through this pregnancy I’ve wanted some veggies – mostly carrots or other crunchy veggies that can be dipped in ranch so when this urge to serve broccoli with every meal came across a few days ago, I started planning our weekly menu accordingly. Last night we had some delicious chicken and rice with steamed broccoli and I didn’t even pick out one bit of the broccoli. A miracle! I’ve also been craving spicy foods. Again, I’m usually not much of a spicy person but I found myself stocking up on spicy sauces this week to incorporate into this week’s menu. Unfortunately spicy food leads to horrible heartburn but I just can’t put the fork down!

The Belly: I got my first “you look like you’re about to pop” comment this week…from the nice old man bagging my groceries at Pick N Save, nonetheless. He must’ve been in his late 70’s and he is the most methodical, organized bagger I have ever met. He made my job of sorting and putting away groceries much later. Anyways, here I am trying to get my bottled water back into my cart when he says “Oh my goodness dear, you look like you’re about to have that baby any day!” Thank you Mr. Bagger for noticing. I assured him I still had five weeks left but he insisted the baby looked like it could come any day now. After all those months of hearing people say “You don’t even look pregnant” this was a welcomed comment because trust me, I certainly feel more pregnant than I may look. You can bet I’ll be heading to his check-out line if I ever see him again.

Nursery Progress: She has a mattress! And her room is officially baby-ready. We still have lamps and a small table to purchase and her pictures haven’t been hung but the essentials are all there – tucked away in their neat little storage spaces. I spent Saturday washing all her itsy-bitsy clothes and turning our disaster of a guest room into a functional space again by putting all her baby stuff away. It feels good to be organized and I feel better knowing that we’re less than five weeks to her due date now. I have her hospital bag all packed and a long list of things to pack in my own bag – that’s next weekend’s task. I promise some pictures when I feel like her room is truly finished.

Showering Continues: As if our two wonderful baby showers weren’t enough, the Lutheran Women’s Missionary League I am involved in at church decided to throw me a surprise baby shower at our meeting last Tuesday night. It had been a long day at work and I was still so exhausted from the weekend’s showers, I contemplated not going. Thankfully, I went or else there would’ve been a bunch of ladies eating cake and opening baby gifts without me! I was so thankful for this surprise shower and for all the beautiful gifts we got. I’m still amazed that my mom managed to keep this a surprise from me – I am certainly not a surprise person. Unfortunately because it was a surprise I didn’t have my camera on hand but trust me, the cake was beautiful and so incredibly delicious and baby girl received some of the cutest outfits from her LWML family.

Bonding: I am still so amazed at how much Dave and baby girl have bonded. The second he touches my belly and opens his mouth she responds with strong kicks and movements. He’ll have whole conversations with her and she listens and responds as if she already understands how to hold a conversation. It’s so different for me. She listens to me talk all day long and I feel her kicks constantly – I feel like my bonding with her is a slow, continuous process and I think I’ll actually feel that attachment once she is physically here. If I were to guess though I’d say she is definitely going to be a daddy’s girl and it melts my heart already.

The Name Game: Yes, we have a name picked out. No, we are not sharing it :) It’s the number one question I get these days from everyone, though. Even from complete strangers. We had a long list of baby girl names picked out and one baby boy name. I can tell you that when we found out she was a girl, Dave instantly started calling her by one of the names and hasn’t stopped since. I don’t usually call her by her name because sometimes in my mind I wonder if we’ve picked the one that will be best for her. I feel like I want to see her first before I can officially say, “Yes, that’s her name.” I will tell you that the name we picked sounds elegant and sweet and it’s nice and short for a last name like Irish.

It’s Personal: For so many months we’ve been putting all our energy and money into baby girl. I was talking with a girl friend the other day and asked if it was selfish to look forward to not being pregnant anymore so that I could have a bit of myself back. After all, this tiny human being has hijacked my body for the past nine months. First she assured me that I’d have a completely new normal, and I’m perfectly fine with that. Then she told me that it is absolutely necessary that I look forward to doing some things for myself after she’s born so that I don’t lose my sanity as a new parent. It may be weird to say but I look forward to brushing my teeth without bleeding gums and going to the dentist for a good cleaning that doesn’t hurt. I look forward to finally coloring my hair dark again and getting a fresh cut. I look forward to going to the gym and being able to exercise like before. I think I look forward to all of these things because they will make me feel good about myself again after months of not having the energy to make myself look more than just presentable. Ask any pregnant lady and they will tell you it’s difficult to feel beautiful when you’re watching the numbers on the scale continuously go up, you feel and look like you haven’t slept in days and your clothes never seem to fit or look just right. I know I won’t be ready to venture out and do any of these things for quite some time after she’s born but it’s fun to have a few things just for me to look forward to