Thursday, September 16

Welcome to Adoption

I have officially joined the adoption world. Not as an adoptive parent, or even a prospective one at this point, but as an Adoption Social Worker (or as my official title says, Adoption Placement Specialist). I’ve developed a strong understanding of adoption through my volunteer work, my family and friends who have/are adopting, and from my undergraduate thesis on international adoption. However, joining the ranks as adoption professional is very different than what I am familiar with and is proving to be quite challenging.

I am quickly learning that my understanding of adoption is actually quite limited to international adoptions, especially those using a small, private agency. I also have a greater understanding of how adoption impacts the family adopting – the process they undergo, challenges experienced, and the overall attitude of families choosing to adopt. Now I am on the other side, a side that I am so completely unfamiliar with I am left wondering how I even ended up with this job in the first place. My primary focus it the child – is adoption the best permanence plan for them? What will life be like for them because of adoption? What family fits their needs best? My priorities and thought-process needs to shift from thinking about adoption through the lense of a parent to thinking about it through the eyes of a child.

In the past few days, I’ve been exposed to my new world of adoption. I have quickly learned to change my frame of reference from that of a someday adoptive parent of a child in Africa to that of a Social Worker who will be specializing in domestic adoptions of children within the Wisconsin foster care system. Even more specifically, adoptions of teenagers and those older children who have been waiting for years or potentially their entire lives for a family. This week I’ve been exposed to the realities of adopting from the foster care system and how different the process and outcome is from most international adoptions. I have become especially aware of the realities of my job – witnessing the termination of a parent’s rights, trying to understanding why a teenager is telling me they do not want to be adopted, looking a child the face and telling them they have to move for the 6th time.

I keep reminding myself that no matter how hard or difficult the job may get for me, life will always be harder for the child whose best interest and future I am advocating for. While I certainly won’t be able to share specifics of my experiences as an adoption social worker on this blog for confidentiality reasons, I do hope to be able to continue to share lessons I learn, realities of adopting older children, and my growing heart and appreciation for the foster care system. And I will apologize in advance for the lack of blogging I’ll be doing in the next few months – between an intense training period and the exhaustion of this pregnancy, my free time is usually spent napping. I do promise I won’t disappear completely :)

Sunday, September 12

Weekly Pregnancy Post

How Far Along: 17 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The tiredness is still my greatest complaint - surprise, surprise! This week I've noticed the forgetfulness and the pure emotional craziness (just ask the man at the paint counter at Home Depot about my breakdown complete with tears and forgetting my paint). This week the nausea and vomiting returned - the doctor says it may have been from a bug, my anxiety about starting my new job tomorrow, or maybe the baby just wanted to remind me it was still there. Luckily it passed in just a few days.

Food Cravings: I didn't have many cravings this week other than one completely ridiculous and impossible-to-indulge-in craving: Door County's Sweet Apple Wine. I'm not much of a drinker but the hubby and I do enjoy a glass of wine on Saturday nights. I guess I caught a whiff of his wine this weekend and really wanted one of my own but for baby's safety, I'll refrain. Lucky me, mom and dad bought me my very own bottle while in Door County this past week and it'll be waiting in the pantry for me for after the baby arrives :)

What I miss: I'm missing a good night's sleep this week. Between whatever stomach bug or anxiety I was feeling this past week and the leg cramps, the insomnia and poor sleeping started up again. I'm hoping this moves along quickly because this cool weather makes it so comfy to sleep at night.

Maternity Clothes: Each week my clothes continue to fit more awkwardly. My belly is just big enough for my regular pants to be a little too snug when buttoned up but maternity pants are still a little too big. We did notice quite a big belly growth this week so hopefully in the next few weeks I can transition to just maternity clothes. It's hard to look cute when you're throwing together whatever fits these days!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Hearing baby's heartbeat!! We were so disappointed at our 12 week appointment when the baby was moving around too much to actually catch the heartbeat. Thankfully, this time baby stayed still just long enough to hear the heartbeat for a few seconds and it was amazing! I can't even describe the sound - it was unlike anything I'd ever heard. The doctor gave us the okay to schedule our big ultrasound for the gender reveal and in just two weeks (the 27th) we'll know what baby Irish is hiding (or not hiding) between those little legs.

Thursday, September 9

25 Years



On Tuesday, my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. On September 7, 1985, at the mere ages of 20 and 21, my parents vowed to spend the rest of their lives together. Five months later, I came along. It only took me until about the age of 15 to realize that I was already cooking in my mom's stomach when they got married (and no, that is not the reason they married). They were high school sweethearts with matching curly mop tops who were destined to spend the rest of their lives together :)

I am so thankful to have parents who are not only still married but who have shown me what a strong marriage looks like. They've shown me that there will certainly be difficult times but that love and faith don't waiver in times of trial. They've shown me what it means to sacrifice for one another, for the sake of their family. They've shown me unconditional love, even when I'm the one being difficult. They've taught me valuable life lessons and instilled strong values in me - both of which I will pass along to my own children. I feel prepared to become a parent in just a few short months because of their example and because I know I have their support, guidance, and love. And I know they are beyond excited to become grandparents (even if they are just in their mid-forties). I've always loved having younger parents and Dave has certainly seen the benefits as well - that's why we chose to start our family so quickly. I look forward to watching them with our children - my mom baking Christmas cookies with them, my dad taking them on their first snowmobile rides in the snow. I am so thankful that they said "I Do" twenty-five years ago because their marriage has enriched my life in so many ways.

They were supposed to be celebrating this special anniversary in Italy but a certain daughter of theirs decided she had to get married last year. Dad learned weddings aren't as cheap today as they were back in 1985 :) Next year they hope to be celebrating their 26th anniversary in Italy and I pray they make it there because I know it's been a dream! I wish everyday I could send them there myself to repay them for all the blessings they've given my life.

What's second best to Italy? Celebrating with your family, of course! We had a little family party on Sunday and we celebrated their vows and reminisced on how far their hairstyles have come since their wedding day. Thankfully, dad lost that creepy mustache, too :)

Tuesday, September 7

Tasty Tuesday

For one of my bridal showers, my friend Katie gave me this fabulous cookbook that she had also received from her mother when she became engaged. It's the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook:Bridal Edition and it has everything a new bride needs to know to keep her man fed and happy :) Or at the very least, it has complete instructions on how to prepare and cook just about everything in the world - including detailed charts on cooking times for various meats which comes in handy for a new cook like me. Anyways, I finally sat down and read the book cover to cover and no joke, it was one of the best reads (this is coming from a girl who hates cookbooks - I'd much rather search for recipes online). I joked with Katie that just about every page was folded over, indicating some new recipe I was eager to try. I decided to tackle one of the easier recipes first. And since I'm in a carb mood these days, I started with the Pasta section of course. This was a super easy and delicious recipe... and I have hope that the rest of those folded over pages will be as equally delicious.

Lemon Chicken Pasta Toss

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Makes: 4 Servings

Ingredients
2 cups dried multigrain penne (6 ounces)
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/3 cup finely chopped shallots*
2 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup chicken broth
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
3 tablespoons capers, drained*
3 tablespoons snipped fresh Italian parsley
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

*we skipped both of these because of Dave's strong dislike for tiny little shallots and capers invading his food

1. Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Return pasta to hot saucepan; cover and keep warm.

2. Meanwhile, in a bowl, toss together chicken and flour until chicken is lightly coated. In a large skillet cook and stir chicken in 1 tablespoon of the oil over medium-high heat for 6 to 8 minutes until chicken is no longer pink. Remove chicken from pan and set aside.

3. Reduce heat to medium. Add remaining oil to skillet. Add garlic (and shallot if using); cook and stir about 1 minute or until tender. Carefully stir in broth, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Cook, uncovered, for 2 to 3 minutes or until reduced to about 2/3 cup. Stir in chicken, capers, and parsley; heat through.

4. Toss pasta with chicken mixture. Top with Parmesan cheese if desired.

Add some fresh, seasonable vegetables and fresh bread on the side and you've got yourself a delicious meal! I really should start taking pictures of my finished products... although, sometimes they don't look as good as the pictures in the cookbooks. I suppose as long as they taste delicious that's all that matters, right :)

Sunday, September 5

Weekly Pregnancy Post

This week was rather un-eventful. I have felt probably the best I've felt the entire pregnancy which was a relief. I've been scouring the Internet, catalogues, and blogs to start planning the nursery. I've thought up some great DIY projects for the nursery that will help to not only keep me (and certainly Dave) busy during the next five months but also to help personalize the nursery. Other than that, we're basking in the glory of the second trimester!

How Far Along: 16 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Tiredness and more tiredness. I hear this really will never go away... during the rest of the pregnancy and even more so, once the baby's born. I think it's time that I accept that I'll always be a little more tired than I was pre-baby. Other than that, this was a good week symptom-wise. I'm starting to understand why they call the second trimester the Honeymoon phase of the pregnancy.

Food Cravings: Breakfast. I've never been a breakfast eater - usually a granola bar would satisfy my morning hunger. Recently, I've been making breakfast my biggest meal of the day. In addition to my morning protein breakfast drink (it's how I get my extra daily 300 calories), I have a big bowl of yogurt with granola and fresh fruit, a few pieces of bacon (definitely a craving at this point), a banana, and sometimes even a small bowl of dry Multigrain Cheerios. This seems to tie me over until lunch with the occasional need for a late-morning snack. Thankfully, the McDonald's shakes and long john cravings were limited to a week. This past week didn't bring any weird cravings, thankfully.

What I Miss: Being able to get dressed quickly. See next point for elaboration.

Maternity Clothes: I've officially hit the "nothing fits" brick wall. This week my belly definitely grew more than the past few. I can no longer button any of my pants/shorts. I find it awkward to wear my pants open with a hair tie or rubber band holding the button closed - I feel like it'll snap at any moment, leaving my rear exposed. Thankfully, my mom's co-worker gave me some of her maternity clothes and I found a nice comfy pair of jeans that fit so perfectly and comfortably, I'm convinced all jeans should have elastic waistbands (goodbye button digging into my stomach!). I'm hoping most of my work clothes still fit for a few more weeks since most were big pre-pregnancy. Most of my shirts will continue to work for a while thanks to the empire waist style that have been so popular. I just have to remember to give myself extra time to get ready these days - gone are the days of throw-on-whatever-I see-in-my-closet-this-morning.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Ordering fabric samples of the bedding we (okay, I) picked out (and Dave agreed to) for the baby's room. We're hoping to pick out our exact paint color (I can tell you it's a neutral color that works with both the boys and girls bedding) and get the room all painted before we find out the gender. That urge to decorate and get the baby's room ready is taking over! We've cleared out half the room but we've still got a lot of work to do before any baby gear can be brought in so we're giving ourselves plenty of time!

Saturday, September 4

African Children's Choir

Last night Dave and I went to see the African Children's Choir perform at a local church. I was so excited when I found out the group was coming to town. When you live in Wisconsin, you realize what a rarity it is for something big like this to actually come close enough to attend. The Choir's been touring the southern/eastern states quite a bit lately so to have them in our very own backyard was great!

If you've ever seen the Choir perform, you know how talented the children are. And if you've ever been to Africa and seen children sing and dance in their own culture and language, you can imagine how different it was to see them singing up on a stage, in English, in suburban America. As I looked around the packed room, I couldn't help but wonder what drew all the people there to see them. Had they too experienced Africa firsthand... fallen in love with its children, culture, and beautiful landscapes? Were they simply interested in music and dance? Did they have a heart for His children? No matter the reason, we all gathered in the sanctuary of Christ Church with one mission: to support the children and mission of the African Children's Choir.

As the Choir was introduced and the children ran past me, up on stage, I felt tears begin to stream down my cheeks. The memories, the love, the heartache, and probably the pregnancy hormones overwhelmed me. It's rare that I can talk about my experiences in Africa without crying, for so many reasons, but to see those children on stage and realize what being a part of the choir means for their lives, for their futures, it overwhelmed me. Thankfully the room was dark :) The show was amazing and so were the stories. The children shared some of their backgrounds with us - poverty, disease, abandonment, life as orphans. They shared their dreams for the future - doctors, nurses, teachers, Presidents. They shared their love of Jesus - their love in our Father, their thankfulness, and feelings of being blessed. They also played a short video that showed former Choir members back in Africa, mostly in Uganda and Kenya. The choir members talked about how their lives changed for the better because of their involvement in the Choir - they now had college degrees, they overcame extreme poverty and disease - one even said he would probably be dead if he hadn't been a part of the Choir. I was thankful that Dave could see the video especially. He could see images of the slums of Kenya and Uganda, hear the stories from the Children's mouths, and feel the pain and suffering they described. I love how much his heart has been changed in the past year. He really gets it - he gets why I'm so passionate about orphan care and Africa, he gets how my experience and time there changed me, and he understands why I feel so strongly about adoption. He talks about when we adopt and asks questions about what the process will be like. He really just gets it which to me shows that God has been working on his heart... breaking his heart for what breaks His slowly and confidently. When we left the concert last night, Dave said how amazing it was and I could just see that he was broken a little more.

I must also note that our little one apparently has a love for music, especially African music. Baby was moving and moving all throughout the concert...more than I've ever felt before. Dave thought it was the coolest part of the night, of course. All those pregnancy books and blogs say that the baby will start to move when you either eat something they like, talk to them, or when they hear noises that stimulate them. You can bet we'll be adding some of the Choir's CDs to our collection for baby :)

So, if the Choir ever comes to a city near you, whether in your own backyard or a few towns over, I HIGHLY recommend making the trip to see them perform. I promise you'll fall in love with the children. In fact, the children informed the audience at one point that they were certain some of us probably wanted to adopt them right then and there (mindreaders I tell you) but they weren't available for adoption - instead we could buy a CD, DVD, or Tshirt and bring them home with us forever. Such great little salespeople and talented singers. And beautiful, beautiful children of God.

Wednesday, September 1

Recipes to Satisfy the Cravings

I plan to jump back into Tasty Tuesday postings next week now that my appetite is back and I've had the time to explore some new recipes. In the meantime, I wanted to share some my favorite recipes of the past few months. These are recipes that allowed me to play into my cravings without over-indulging. During the first trimester I lost weight because of the sickness which concerned Dave (the doctor assured us this is perfectly normal). Now that my appetite is back and I'm not getting sick every time I eat, Dave's made it his priority to make sure I get those extra 300 calories the baby needs each day. I'm nervous about gaining the right amount of weight - not too much and not too little - so paying attention to my diet is important at this point. Not to mention wanting to be sure the baby is getting the proper nutrition it needs to develop and grow properly. Anyways, these recipes are not just for pregnant women... I assure you they are completely delicious and will satisfy a non-pregnant belly as well :)

Craving #1: Cheese
To satisfy my first trimester cheese cravings, I often turned to Mac and Cheese. While the store bought kind is convenient, it certainly isn't the most nutritious. I tried the Baked Mac & Cheese recipe from Eating Well and loved it! It was easy to make, not overly-cheesy or thick, and packed in a few veggie servings with some inconspicuous spinach. DE-LIC-IOUS!

Craving #2: Chocolate
Who doesn't crave chocolate once in a while? Lately, I've been craving it A LOT. Just a little bit each day satisfies the belly and is perfectly safe for baby, too. Rather than breaking out the candy bars, I started mixing chocolate in with other "healthier" options. One of my favorites was Leigh's Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Scotchies. Oh my heavens, how I ever lived without these is beyond me! Not only were they a delicious, healthier way (oatmeal is packed full of nutrients) to curb those chocolate cravings, they were so easy to make - even for someone who doesn't like baking. The hubby devoured them way too fast!

Craving #3: Carbs
Since I'm not eating much meat these days, I've been loading up on carbs (that should guarantee some weight gain, huh?). I've had some cravings for pasta, rice, potatoes, and most recently bread. However, cooking just plain pasta or rice is rather boring and doesn't satisfying the hubby's huge appetite. I'll usually find a recipe and add in some chicken or ground turkey for his portion. I've also found adding veggies to carbs is an easy way to force them into my diet. One of my favorite recipes is Campbell's Broccoli & Garlic Penne Pasta. For Dave, I cook up a chicken breast or two for him to mix in and we have a super easy, quick, nutritional, craving-satisfying dinner!

I look forward to sharing some of the other new recipes I've been trying. With some free time on my hands, I've been reading some of the cookbooks I got as bridal shower gifts and I'm finding so many great new recipes to try!