A Special Sister

I've never had a sister. Not a real one anyways. I have friends who certainly feel like sisters to me, I have more than 100 (actually more like thousands) of Pi Phi sisters, and I now have two sister-in-laws. But no real sister of my very own. Growing up, and to this day still, I am envious of all my friends who have sisters - the unique relationships they share, the fun things they do together. It's quite different when you have a brother.

When I was in Tanzania I met a young girl, about 14 years old, who lived next door to the homebase. Her family ran a small bar/club next to their home. It was always filled with volunteers, sipping their Kili beers or their Orange Fantas. Music was always on and the locals were always hanging out front, creating beautiful artwork. We couldn't come or go from our homebase without passing by SAID'S Club. Said (Pronounced Sigh-eed) is the father to the young girl, Kuruthumu, or Kay as she liked to be called. There was something about Kay that separated her from the other young Tanzanian girls. She was so ambitious, driven, and courageous. She had motherly tendencies and was a very obedient daughter. She was incredibly intelligent and loved to learn. She was also quite stylish. Kay loved American fashion. One day she showed up outside wearing a nearly identical denim jacket to the one I wore on all the cool nights we spent at SAID'S. She told me she wanted to be like me. She wanted to live in America, go to college, and volunteer to help other people. She said she wished she was my sister. She told me how she loved her brother but that she had always wished for a sister. Me too, I told her. It came as no surprise when she said, "Then we will be sisters". Just like that. Since that day almost four years ago, we've kept in contact through emails and letters. While the letters stopped coming nearly two years ago, the emails continued. It had been nearly 5 months since I last heard from Kay so I sent her an email a few days ago. This is what I found in my inbox this morning:

Sister! I miss you. Life is still difficult here. CCS (the homebase we stayed at) is still closed no volunteers come to help us make money to live. I dont think it will be open again. Life is so difficult that I am still in school because mum cant pay the fees so some day I have to sit home and wait for enough money to pay fees. I read books and study language and math at home. I hope to finish next February but there will be no money for university yet. I remember what you always say about praying to God and I ask him to look over my family and give what we need to keep living. I know someday I go to university and everyone will see that I am smart girl like you. And I am praying for your baby that you will bring from Africa someday. Mum and Said are greeting you too and they say they are praying for you too so that all of america knows about africa and the difficult life here. You have a good idea to adopt African child that will make you to remember ME always. I tell mum I will do the same with the orphans in tanzania when I finish university because I have to take care of my own people. I MISS YOU MUCH. LOVE YOU SISTER!

These emails are always difficult for me to read. I know how much poverty the people of Tanzania are facing. I know how much the children want to go to school but cannot afford to pay the fees or buy the uniform. I find myself feeling guilty for being American, for spending my money frivolously, and for not doing more to help. But as difficult as the email is to read, it also gives me happiness and hope. Kay is a young girl with huge dreams and the determination to make those dreams a reality. She is a young girl growing in her Christian faith. She is a young girl with a heart for orphans and adoption. She is truly a remarkable young woman and I am more than privileged to call her my SISTER. I cherish her emails that remind of this.

Me and Kay in our matching denim jackets (pardon how terrible I look, it's difficult to look good while in Africa)

Nkoaranga Orphan Center

After I had decided to go to Africa, I faced the challenge of deciding WHERE in Africa I would go. I had already picked the agency I would be volunteering with and they had a select number of programs throughout Africa, including two in Tanzania. I went back and forth between Ghana and Tanzania for a few weeks before deciding that the volunteer opportunities in Tanzania better fit my talents and interests. I chose the Arusha, Tanzania program because of the lovely description they gave next to "orphan care" on their website. It said something about helping care for infants and toddlers, playing with them, holding them, loving on them - did I really need anything more than that? I wasn't suited for teaching, I had already tried that in Central America. I wasn't quite ready to work in a medical clinic, although at the time I was still a declared pre-medicine major. Something about that description of orphan care stood out to me... I thought I most certainly would be good at loving on some babies!

That is how I ended up at the Nkoaranga Orphan Center. The orphanage was located at the top of a small mountain, with one very bumpy dirt road serving as the only way up. The orphanage, compared to others, was average size. It had three small bedrooms (one for the tiny babies, one for infants, one for the toddlers), a bathroom with two pit toilets and a dingy old tub, a kitchen with a working stove and sink, and an open room that was used for everything - playtime, eating, and sometimes even napping. I can't forget the tiny alcove used for diaper changes.



The orphanage can be home to 15-25 children at any time. When I was there, there were four babies in the tiny baby room, about 8 babies in the infant room, and about 6 toddlers. The tiny babies each got their own wooden crib while the infants (those up to about year and a half in age) shared cribs, sometimes two or three to each one. The toddlers also shared beds. I wish I had pictures of the rooms to share but there really wasn't much time to take pictures. I didn't spend a lot of time with the toddlers because they went to school, at least in the mornings. Sometimes they would be around for lunch. Most of my time was spent with the tiny babies and infants. The only way to really understand life at the orphanage is to describe a typical day.

We (myself and the other volunteer, Ashley) would arrive early in the morning. The toddlers would be running around, usually half-naked, and the babies would be crying, waiting to be changed and fed. There were three "mamas" that worked (actually, volunteered) full-time at the orphanage. They were the most compassionate, giving women I have ever met in my life. They did their best to keep up with the demands of nearly 20 children but oftentimes relied heavily on the volunteers to help with the daily tasks of changing, bathing, feeding, and putting to bed. Upon arriving, Ashley and I would be greeted by screaming kids, arms open, wanting to be picked up and held. We would greet the toddlers and then make our way to the baby rooms to begin the morning diaper changes. I had never changed cloth diapers before and now I know why people no longer use them. On top of that, what the babies were fed didn't make for pleasant diaper changes either. Usually diaper changes and changing the babies clothes took a good hour. After a baby was changed, they were placed on one of the mats on the floor in the big open room. I still remember how difficult it was to put the babies down, screaming, to move on to changing the next one. After all the changes, Ashley and I would join the babies and toddlers in the big room for some quality cuddle and play time. There weren't many toys to play with, a few blocks or books. Most of the time was spent encouraging babies to crawl, or stand. Teaching them to walk or to kick. Sometimes I felt like a physical therapist and less like a volunteer. Mostly, Ashley and I would perch ourselves on the mats and let the babies crawl all over us.

Asimwe crawling up my legs


Ashley on the mat with Emmanuel and Dynase


Look who we taught to walk! Nissema (Asimwe's twin)


After a few hours of play time, it was time to eat. The children, including the babies, were served porridge and a rice/beans mix. This was usually their biggest meal of the day. At night they would get porridge and if there was enough, some rice and beans again. Sometimes we were lucky enough to get vegetables from the nearby stand but that wasn't always the case. The kids would all line up on the counter top and be served their rice and beans first. Then porridge in a few cups the kids would share. The smaller babies were fed by the volunteers and mamas - boy was it messy! The tiniest baby would sometimes get a bottle of formula, other times it was a game of trying to get the baby to swallow the porridge mixture.

Aroni eating his rice and beans


Volunteer Samweli helping Tumaini eat her porridge


Esther eating her rice and beans


After lunch time, we usually changed the babies diapers and clothes again. Then we would play for another hour or so, sometimes even outside. There was a small metal swing set with a swing and a slide. We would put blankets on the cement for the babies to crawl on. Ashley and I brought some coloring books and crayons for the older toddlers and the mammas would help them color when they got back from morning school. Ashley brought a CD player and some music that was a HUGE hit. It kept all the kids entertained, mostly because they couldn't figure out where the music was coming from.





Chewing shoes was also a popular pastime. Guess that's what happens with no toys.


After playtime it was nap time. We would get all the toddlers into bed first (usually the mamas took over this task) and then we would get all the babies into the cribs. The babies were usually pretty good about napping and were so used to being in their cribs that they didn't cry. Sometimes Ashley and I would spend some extra time holding the littlest babies. We each took a liking to certain children. I hate to say it, but it happens. There is the one child you fall in love with just a little bit more than the rest. For me, that child was Dynase, the littlest baby girl.



A few other favorites...

Baraka. He died from malaria a few months after I left.


Husseni, with his baby mohawk


The newest baby, abandoned on the front steps


Ashley and I would leave in the afternoon after all the kids were down for their naps. It was always hard to leave, but the last day was especially difficult. I remember crying so hard as I was holding Dynase, saying goodbye as I put her down for one last nap. I think it was at that moment that I realized just how easy it was to love a child that had no one to love them. At that moment, I remember saying a prayer for God to let me use this experience for something great. He certainly answered that prayer, filling my heart with compassion for these precious orphans and igniting a passion in me to not let that compassion die when I left Africa.

If this hasn't explained why I am so passionate about orphan care, I'm not sure what else I can tell you. How can you not look at those beautiful orphans and not be moved? How could I see the way they had to live and not be moved to want to change, to better, their lives? This experience most certainly changed my life.

Tanzania

I had the privilege of spending the Summer of 2006 volunteering in the East African country of Tanzania. Tanzania is a beautiful country - home to Mt. Kilimanjaro, the Masai Tribe, and the Serengeti. It is a country that has been relatively stable for the past decade. It was one of President Bush's stops when creating PEPFAR and Wisconsin's own Mark Green recently finished his service as the country's Ambassador. Unfortunately, Tanzania is facing similar crises as other countries in the sub-Saharan Africa region. HIV/AIDS is rampant, there is lack of clean drinking water, the number of orphans continues to rise, and too many children go without an education. In 2007, there were an estimated 1.5 million people in the country living with HIV/AIDS,with nearly 150,000 dying from the disease each year. It is estimated that there are 2 million orphans due to the disease in Tanzania alone. One in six children will die before their fifth birthday. Tanzania's economy ranks in the bottom 10 percent globally in terms of per capita income and depends primarily on Agriculture for more than 40% of its GDP and 85% of its exports. More than 50% of the country is below the poverty level. Tanzania still hosts more than a half-million refugees, more than any other African country, mainly from Burundi and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, despite the international community's efforts at repatriation. These statistics sound familiar, right? Unfortunately, they are the reality of many developing nations, especially those in the sub-Saharan Africa region.

Despite these grim statistics, the people of Tanzania are amazingly happy, generous, loving people. They have so much to give and give they do! They are open to sharing their struggles and honest about their needs. They are intelligent people, most dreaming of receiving an education. I fell in love with this country the minute I stepped off the airplane. The smell, the scenery, the language, the music, the people - I loved, and continue to love, it all.

My favorite part of Tanzania was the simple way of life. "Pole pole" the locals would say to us Americans. "Slowly, slowly" they were telling us. They would laugh as we would rush from place to place. Or complain about hunger, or lack of transportation. They reminded us ever-so-nicely that we needed to slow down. Somedays I whisper "pole pole" to myself still. I was amazed at how people with so little could be so giving. Every house I entered I was offered tea (the best Chai in fact!). Goats were slaughtered in our honor and beds were spared for us to sleep on. Kids wanted to share their English-speaking skills with us, greeting us with "Hello Teacher" or the ever-so-famous Swahili, "Muzungu, muzungu" (white person). They would touch our skin and giggle at their finger imprints. They would run from the hills to greet us with their smiles and hugs. Tanzania is truly a beautiful, beautiful country. It is also a country that changed me forever. Before I went on my first mission trip to Central America, I was told, "Be prepared to be ruined". I didn't truly understand that phrase until I set foot in Africa. Africa ruined me in the best way possible.

There's the background on the beautiful country I've grown to love. Tomorrow I'll be sharing about my experiences at the Nkoaranga Orphan Center, the reason why I choose Tanzania and the reason I am so passionate about orphan care!

The Cab Ride

I am working on the first post sharing my international mission experiences, particularly those in Africa. I have had a lot of questions recently about orphan care and why I am so passionate about it and I figured this would be the best way to explain it. This morning, however, one of my Road to Recovery volunteers shared this sweet story with me that really attests to the fact that we never know the impact we are having on another person's life - how our actions, be they through volunteer work, our jobs, or our everyday lives, impact others. I'm calling this story "The Cab Ride". I have no idea who this cab driver telling the story is or where he came from, but I certainly hope I can spread a little joy and love the way he did.

"I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I walked to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me.

She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?' 'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly. 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'. I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.'

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.'Nothing,' I said. 'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.' I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light...

Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought.

For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one".

People may not remember exactly what you did for them or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Can't we all just be cab drivers for a day?

A Historical Day Indeed

I had planned to start sharing my mission experiences this week but after last night's health care reform vote, I decided I needed to share a few thoughts on that first.

I've heard people referring to yesterday as a historical day. I completely agree. It was historical in the sense that my generation and generations to come inherited an overwhelming burden of debt and government control. It was a day that bipartisan politics went out the window. It was a day filled with deceit and bribery. It was certainly American politics at its finest. I don't suppose I should have expected anything less from a President who has failed our nation repeatedly since taking office.

Yes, I am a Conservative but that doesn't explain why I'm so disappointed by yesterday's passing of Obama's health care reform legislation. I completely agree that there is a need for health care reform in our nation. As a Social Worker, I see that need every single day. I do not believe, however, that Obama's plan was the BEST solution. It was rushed, it was expensive, and it was incomplete. I don't think passing something without any bipartisan support is consistent with the ideals put forth by our founding fathers.

So here I rant about how terrible this reform is. People tell me I'm a horrible person for wanting to continue to deny the poor health care coverage. That's not what I want. What I DO want is health care reform that that is affordable for everyone. This new legislation will create a government take-over of health care that will likely help the poor but will cause the middle and upper class to join them, as the rest of us will likely lose our own health care coverage when our companies decide it's too expensive to continue to provide coverage. They'd be better off paying the small penalty fees than providing coverage under the new plan. I also don't think taxing the middle class $400 billion over the next decade is effective either, especially when people are trying to make ends meet the way it is. I DO want health care reform that focuses on prevention - something that focuses on the causes of disease. Obesity is linked to heart disease, stroke, cancers. Smoking is linked to lung cancer and heart disease. Why don't we focus on what causes people to need to access the health care system in the first place? Finally, I DO want health care reform that helps ensure a good quality of life for individuals. By eliminating insurance options, by forcing people to choose new primary care providers, and by forcing government control of health care, quality of life will suffer.

Is there anything in the plan I agree with? Yes. I agree that people should not be penalized for a pre-existing condition. I do not believe that children should have a lifetime cap on the amount of insurance benefits they are eligible for. I do believe that everyone should have access to lifesaving cancer screenings. But at what price, at whose expense? At mine. My children's. My grandchildren's - that's who.

So today I am a little bitter at the implications of this historical vote. I'm sure some who will read this supported the reform. I'm sure others don't care and are sick of hearing everyone else rant about it. Today, I share some simple insight from someone who will feel the effects of this reform personally and professionally. Yesterday's vote undoubtedly changed the way medicine will be practiced from here on out, whether we like it or not.

I promise the rest of the week will be posts about mission work and won't be nearly as political as this one :)

Christian Alliance for Orphans

Since my post yesterday I've gotten a few emails and facebook messages asking me what the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit is all about. Well I'm certainly no expert on orphan care and I've only known about the Alliance for a short while but I thought I'd post a little more information and share my reasons for participating in this year's Summit.

The mission statement for Christian Alliance for Orphans explains that the Alliance's purpose is to "motivate and unify the body of Christ to live out God's mandate to care for the orphan with the vision to have every orphan experience God's unfailing love and know Jesus as Savior." Simply put, the Alliance exists for the purpose of helping individuals and churches to answer God's call to care for orphans. The Summit takes place each year to help individuals, advocates, pastor's, church leaders - anyone with a heart for orphans - come together to share their passion and build their knowledge, resources, and skills in the area of orphan care.

This year the Summit is in Minnesota and will feature more than 50 workshops and fabulous guest speakers including Steven Curtis Chapman, Tom Davis, and John Piper. I must admit I am quite excited about hearing Steven Curtis Chapman sing (my dad and I danced to his "Cinderella" at my wedding) and share his adoption stories. What I am MOST excited about are the workshops that will give me the knowledge and skills necessary to engage my church in orphan care ministry. I will be participating in workshops about starting orphan care, foster care, and adoption ministries within the church. I will also be learning how to engage church leadership in orphan ministry work. I'll be opening the eyes of my heart a little further to struggles and joys of adopting HIV-positive children. Overall, I'll be filled with knowledge, insight, and hope! And of course spending two days with people who share my passion for orphans is a blessing in itself!

Some people have asked if I'm traveling alone or if my church is involved in orphan ministry work. I will not be traveling alone but instead will be joining the only Wisconsin church that is a part of the Alliance. While I am not a member at Oakwood Church, I have been involved in Mission:Hope, their Orphan Care Ministry, since last Fall when I participated in their Orphan Sunday event as a guest speaker to the high school youth. I have been talking with leaders at the new church Dave and I are joining and hope that after this Summit I will be more prepared to help the church more forward on integrating orphan care ministry into the church's mission work. I'm not sure the church realized just what they were getting by inviting us to become members! Dave will not be joining me at the Summit but he is looking forward to hearing all about what I learn (and even if he wasn't, he'd still be hearing anyways). I promise I'll be sharing here too when I get back.

Another question I've been asked recently is how I even became interested in orphan care work to begin with. Certainly my mission work in Central America and Africa has influenced this significantly but so has hearing about orphan care work from others. So I am hoping to pass along a little inspiration myself. I'm also planning to post next week about my experiences in Africa that led me this passion.

It's not too late to sign up for the Summit if you're interested. You don't have to know a thing about orphan care or have ever been abroad. All you need to do is open your heart and mind and prepare to be changed by this experience!

Life Updates

I was reminded yesterday of the fact that I created this blog for the purpose of keeping friends and family informed as to the happenings of the Irish family. I guess I've been on my soap box a bit too much lately because I really haven't been writing about us at all! I guess I think our lives are rather normal (and boring at times) and that my thoughts and opinions are much more fun to read. Well, in case you're sick of my rantings about orphans, cancer, and homeless men, you're in luck because today is simply an update day!

So, what have the Irish's been up to lately? The usual.

I'll start with me. It'll be a year next month since I started my job with the American Cancer Society. That means nearly a year of being out of school. I must admit, I'm still adjusting to this whole work all day thing. I miss the flexible lifestyle of a student more each month that I'm in the "real world". I'm starting to like my job a little more and have found that I'm good at working with the newly diagnosed breast cancer patients. I have an extra soft spot for working with the Hispanic, Spanish-speaking breast cancer patients - they always give me a challenge. Keeps me busy. I just finished teaching my first grief support group for children who have lost a parent. I really enjoyed it and it reminded me of how much I miss working with children. I'm continuing to follow God's call to care for orphans and will be attending the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit at the end of April in Minnesota. Not only will I get to spend time with others who share a heart for orphans, I'll be learning more about how to start an Orphan Care/Foster Care/Adoption Ministry in our new church (more about that later).

As for Dave, he's still working with US Bancorp in the legal department. He recently got promoted and has suddenly been overwhelmed with work. He's been learning how to do things around the house (I'm talking renovations here people) with the help of my dad - I've got a honey-do list a mile long for him, afterall! Dave's itching for golf season to officially begin in Wisconsin and is looking forward to heading to Whistling Straights in August for the PGA event. He's even happy Tiger's back in action (while I on the other hand still plan to "boooo" him).

Together, we've been diving into those home projects we neglected for the past 9 months. We had been using the "we've been so busy with the wedding" excuse but that one doesn't work anymore. Then it was the "we just moved in" excuse but we'll have been there for a year in June so that one's out too. Our first project was the half-bathroom renovation downstairs. It's ALMOST done - this weekend we'll begin the painting process. We also recently decided it was time to get rid of the "red room", the second spare bedroom. It's all painted and in the process of being decorated by yours truly! I promise to post pictures of both soon. We plan to tackle the landscaping this Spring (if I can find the motivation to care about plants). Then onto the Dining Room/Kitchen area. On a different note, we think we finally have found our new home church. This will be another blog post when we officially become members this Spring but after months of searching, we've found a church that's perfect for us and we're already getting involved! Such a blessing!

And for those who don't live in the fabulous state of Wisconsin, the snow has finally melted and we're hoping to hit the 60-degree mark today. That's enough to make this girl happy. To bad I'm inside at work all day - again, missing the life of a student. Although, this is Wisconsin and snow is in the forecast for the weekend so we can't get too excited yet!

So there ya have it, the exciting life of the Irish's. Now do y'all see why I find it much more interesting to write random antics than to share what we've been up do?!