Pink or Blue?

It's crazy when I stop and think about the fact that I'm just about halfway through this pregnancy. I'll be 20 weeks come Monday and on Tuesday we'll find out if there's a little lady or gent tucked away in my belly. Most importantly, we'll get another peek at what we pray is a healthy little baby!

When I was pregnant with Sophia, I did a series of weekly pregnancy posts on the blog and I have to admit, I wish I had started that again this time around. It's been fun looking back at all of the details of my first pregnancy that I have already forgotten about it. I keep telling people how different this pregnancy is than Sophia's but in actuality, the two appear to sync up quite perfectly. I think I'll start sharing a few weekly pregnancy updates (and the much-requested bump pictures) after our ultrasound next week. Until then, I thought it would be fun to take a look at the gender predictor quizzes and old wives tales to see if this baby is a girl or a boy. When I did this with Sophia, the tests proved to be correct as nearly all predicted we were having a girl! Let's see what those online gender predictor tests say this time around...

Parents.com quiz: It's a boy!

Babyzone.com: It's a girl!

Childbirth.org: It's a girl!

Justmommies.com: It's a girl!

And just for fun, the Chinese Lunar Calendar says we're having a boy.

And now for the Old Wives Tales...

Carrying High, Carrying Low: According to this old wives tale, if you carry low it's a boy and high it's a girl. This one was wrong with Sophia because I carried really low. Right now, it appears that I'm actually carrying right in the middle, a little higher than I did with Sophia. This one's too close to call.

Heartbeats: The story goes, if the heartbeat is above 140 it's a girl and under is a boy. At our 16 week appointment baby's heartbeat was still a strong 155. Prior to that it was up in the 170's. This old wives tale would indicate we're having a girl. This proved to be true for Sophia!

Craving Something?: Sweets mean a girl, sour or salty foods indicate a boy. I'm actually craving neither during this pregnancy. So far, all I want is bagels, bagels, and more bagels...with a few blueberry muffins mixed in. I suppose if I had to pick between the two, I've had more chocolate than anything sour or salty. I did go through a chocolate milkshake phase early on. We'll give a half a point towards girl on this one.

Time to Shave: They say if the hair on your legs is growing faster during pregnancy then you're having a boy. Thankfully, this one isn't true this time around. Shaving your legs during pregnancy is just uncomfortable! Another point for a baby girl.

Headaches: I didn't look at this one when pregnant with Sophia because it wasn't really an issue. This time around, however, I had awful migraines from weeks 12-17. Everyone kept telling me that meant that I was having a boy.

Green at the Gills: Morning sickness early in pregnancy indicates a girl. Unfortunately, I had plenty of morning, noon, and night sickness early in pregnancy (and even today) so we're giving another point to the girl tally.

Meat or Fruit?: Craving meat usually points to a boy, according to the old tales while craving fruit indicates a girl. Given how sick meat makes me feel during this pregnancy (just like with Sophia), I'm going with fruit on this one. Although, I did have one fleeting moment while out to dinner for my dad's birthday where I indulged in a huge bacon cheeseburger. I absolutely regretted it afterwards and have been staying clear of meat since. Let's see what happens when Sendik's busts out their chipotle cheeseburgers for summer grilling...I had a craving for one of those the day of my cheeseburger incident. Another girl point.

Mirror, Mirror: Story goes, baby girls steal their mother's looks during pregnancy. Unlike with Sophia, the hormones appear to not be impacting my appearance as much. I looked like a pre-pubescent boy during my last pregnancy but this time, my skin appears softer and smoother. A point for the boys!

Mmmm, bread: If there was an old wives tale about bread, it was made for me and my bread cravings. This one has to do with the heel of the loaf of bread. If you eat it, you're having a boy and if you refuse to eat it, it's a girl. Sorry boys, but I toss that heel straight into the garbage once it's sliced right off. Plus, I prefer my bread in round, bagel form these days. Cheddar herb bagels to be exact. Now I'm having a craving : ) Another point for girl.
So, it looks like between the online quizzes, Chinese calendar, and the old wives tales, we have nine points for a girl and four for a boy. It appears that the general prediction is a girl this time around, too. Of course all of those things are just for fun. So what do we think? Well, I've pretty much been convinced during this entire pregnancy that it is a boy. Dave thought it was a boy from the very beginning but is now leaning towards a girl. Sophia, well she keeps talking about her baby sister so it appears her mind is made up. Everyone else says we're having a boy...mostly because of the migraines I was having. After people ask you what you think you're having, they ask you what you want. And honestly, we will be perfectly happy with either a boy or girl. I keep telling everyone that aside from being healthy, I just want a baby that sleeps!!

Sophia Turns Two

It's hard to believe that our sweet baby girl is already two! There's something exciting about having a two year old in the house. She is so much fun and is really developing quite the personality. She loves to smile and loves attention. She really loves to learn which makes this mommy very happy. Sophia knows her alphabet, can count to ten, can talk in simple sentences, knows her shapes (the child can tell me the difference between a pentagon, hexagon, and octagon!), and appears to have a photographic memory because she never, ever, forgets where she puts anything. She's incredibly nurturing - she loves taking her baby dolls on walks, feeding them, and rocking them. She is attentive to the needs of other kids and loves to share her toys. She's still incredibly strong-willed, independent, and determined but those are all characteristics that I think will prove beneficial later in life and I don't see them changing anytime soon. Sophia loves to sing and will request that you sing along to all of her favorite songs - Jingle Bells, Twinkle Little Star, Row Row Row Your Boat, and Mary Had a Little Lamb. She will dance in circles for hours if music is playing. She loves doing jigsaw puzzles, coloring, painting, and riding her bike. She loves soccer and basketball and I think she's going to be a great athlete someday. She has to pick out her own hair bows each morning but will quickly pull them out to play soccer. She's the perfect mix of sweet little girl and rough little tomboy. I don't think it's possible to love her any more than I already do but then she gives me a, "Mommy, love you" and my heart melts. She is such a joy and I look forward to watching her grow over the next year!

Since her birthday fell on a Saturday this year, we planned a full day of celebrations. We started the morning with candles atop our muffins, a Dora balloon, and some presents from mommy and daddy (puzzles, coloring books, and a basketball hoop).

After some playtime at home, we got ready and met up with Sophia very bff, Ayden, at the indoor playground for some fun. It's so much fun watching those two play together. It's even better when the daddy's are around to chase after them! After Just 4 Fun, Sophia took a nice long nap while her godmother came into town to help me get ready for her party. Have I mentioned how much I love her godmother? She is so so SO good to Sophia and loves her so much. And she's pretty good to me too because she helped with the decorations that I simply didn't have the time (or creative energy) to make.

I decided on a "You are My Sunshine" themed party for Sophia this year. What's better than adding a little bit of bright colors to the mix in the middle of a cold Wisconsin winter? One of the downsides of having a February birthday is that you're stuck inside but we had fun with this one. Sophia truly is a little ray of sunshine - her personality just shines through and she brings so much joy to us and everyone who loves her.

 



 

Exciting News!

We were thrilled to share our news yesterday with all of our family and friends that we're expecting baby #2. We've received so much love, support, and many well wishes and we are so SO thankful!

A few weeks ago we got a glimpse of our baby on the ultrasound screen and I can't begin to tell you what a wonderful feeling it was seeing the baby's little heart beating away. Baby was moving all about and had a nice strong heartbeat. Aftering dealing with loss over the past year, this was one big sigh of relief for Dave and I. Yesterday, we finally got to hear the baby's heartbeat. My doctor welcomed us to the second trimester, told me to relax, and assured me that everything was perfect with the baby.

In preparation for sharing the news, I wanted to grab a few cute pictures of Sophia. In the era of Pinterest, it's easy to get carried away with over the top pregnancy announcements. I knew I wanted to keep it simple but cute so I whipped up a little chalkboard sign and convinced myself that Sophia would sit for a few pictures. I must be crazy! Here's a behind the scenes look at how things went...

My first attempt was before church on Sunday.... clearly she's not interested in sitting for me. And she did NOT want to go near mommy's little sign. Of course.

 

N: Can you please smile for mommy? Pllllleeeeassse?

S: No momma. Play ball.

 

I thought maybe I'd have luck with the fireplace but nope, still wouldn't sit still or hold the chalkboard.

 



 

I tried again after nap. I tried our bed where Sophia loves to play. I tried the rocking chair in her room. I finally hung the sign on the wall and got her to sit in her little wooden rocker.

 

N: Sophia, mommy wants to take your picture to tell people about your baby brother or sister.

S: No. No. No. (Insert pouty lips)

 

 

That's when I decided it was time to put the camera away. There would be no cute Pinterest-inspired pregnancy announcement with an almost two year old. As I was putting the camera away, I said something to Sophia about the baby in my belly and she stopped, flashed me a smile, lifted her shirt and said, "Baby Sophia belly."

 

And that's how we got this:

 

 

 

Silly girl really thinks there is a baby in her belly. She also thinks she's getting a baby sister.

Twenty-Three Months

I should preface this post by saying that it's been brewing in my head for a long time...over the past year, actually. I wasn't sure if I wanted to expose the honest truth about one of my greatest struggles as a parent but here I am, spilling the beans because it's finally easier to talk about it than to pretend like it doesn't exist. This will be a long, probably boring post that nobody may ever read but it's a part of our story, Sophia's story, and I need to document it someplace. And if you're a sleep-deprived parent of a child with sleep issues, I know you'll appreciate the honesty.

Twenty three months. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve had a full, good night’s sleep. Actually, if you include those uncomfortable months of pregnancy when restful sleep was unachievable, you’re looking at more than two years without sleep. Two Years of absolute sleep deprivation.

I know I’m not the only parent who has experienced this type of sleep deprivation. And if I’m being completely honest, I am thankful for that. I am thankful to have met other moms to commiserate with (hey Jessica!). I’m thankful to find other moms awake in the wee hours of the morning writing blog posts about how their toddler won’t sleep. It makes me feel a little better and a little less alone in this journey.

I should start by saying that I love my child dearly. In fact, sometimes I think our sleep issues stem from the fact that I love Sophia so darn much. When she was a newborn she was spoiled rotten (who are we kidding, she still is!). We held her all the time. We fed her when she cried. We gave into her every single demand, no matter the time of day. Why? Because we were new parents. We were ignorant. We were lost trying to navigate the big ole’ sea of parenthood without any sort of clear map or guidance. Sure, I had read the baby books, including those on sleep. Sure, I’d taken my fair share of college courses regarding child development. Sure, we’d listened to the advice from family and friends. The truth is, it’s incredibly easy to get off track early on, especially if your child has the type of personality that Sophia has. So, yes, I love my child more than I ever thought possible. With that said, having a child who isn’t fond of sleep is the single most challenging issue I think I’ll ever face as a parent. It makes being a parent SO hard.

What’s so bad about Sophia’s sleep habits, you ask? Well, the shortened version is that she’s never liked to sleep. Even as a baby, she would sleep in small increments. It’s as though she never really fell into a deep sleep. She preferred to be held when she slept or in constant movement. If we weren’t rocking her, she had to be in a moving car, her swing, or her vibrating bouncy seat. Simply laying Sophia in her crib for a nap or at night was never an option. We tried swaddling and not swaddling. We tried a white noise machine, music, and no noise at all. We tried nightlights and complete darkness. We tried rocking to the point of being drowsy and putting her down and not rocking at all. My child is made of stone and apparently Dave and I are not. Sophia has the sweetest, bubbly, most charming little personality. Everyone who meets her comments on how fun, sweet, and smart she is. And after they spend a little more time with her, they also comment on how stubborn, strong-willed, independent, and determined she is. Yes, most toddlers have these characteristics. My child…she’s just a little more of everything. A little more stubborn. A little more determined. A little more manipulative. She’s just more than your average toddler.

Family and friends used to think we were kidding about Sophia’s sleep. They didn’t (and couldn’t) possibly understand. We would try to structure our days around what little routine or schedule Sophia would allow. We would spend hours driving around at night just to get her to stop crying and fall asleep long enough for us to get some rest. We would cancel plans with friends if Sophia fell asleep. To this day, I will not throw my child off of the schedule we’ve worked so hard to establish. People think we’re been stuffy, or over-protective, or just downright mean but the truth is, when you’re in our situation, you do what you have to in order to ensure your child gets proper rest. And sometimes, I don’t have the energy to have adult conversations, put on nice clothes, or even get up off the couch once I finally get Sophia down for the night.

We’ve talked to numerous pediatricians, visited a sleep doctor, consulted with other specialists to rule out medical causes, and spent hours pouring through books and online articles about sleep. Sometimes I feel like a sleep expert myself. I could tell you exactly what to do with a newborn baby to help establish good sleep routines from the very beginning. I can name every single method of sleep training and their respective authors. I can tell you the benefits and disadvantages of said sleep training methods. I can pretty much recite useless sleep information until I’m blue in the face. The truth is: I still can’t get my toddler to sleep!

While Sophia still doesn’t sleep through the night, we’ve made some progress. Our biggest accomplishment: naptime! Sophia transitioned to one nap a day shortly before her first birthday and this has really helped. Sophia eats lunch at 11:30am every day and then goes down for a nap at noon. She usually sleeps three hours, sometimes a little less and other times a little more. This has been my saving grace. I have never been so thankful for that break in our day, especially if we’ve had a rough night. I used to spend Sophia’s naptime getting stuff done around the house. Now, I lie in bed and close my eyes, if even just to rest because my goodness, I think I’ve earned an afternoon nap. Plus, I never know what my night is going to look like.

At nighttime, Sophia has a pretty consistent bedtime routine. After dinner we have some playtime before heading upstairs for her bath. After bath she puts on her jammies and we read books. Sophia needs a good half hour of down time before going to sleep and reading books helps. She gets a cup of milk (and sometimes a snack if she didn’t eat a good dinner). Then it’s bedtime. Sophia’s in a big bed now and we’re trying hard to break her of the rocking-to-sleep habit. The sleep doctor said it’s perfectly fine to rock your child before bed, but that it’s best to put her down while she’s still awake but drowsy. This where I think the sleep doctor needs to come to my house. This is an impossible task. We’ve tried. Or I should say Dave’s tried because I get too frustrated with this process. Sophia’s personality simply doesn’t allow for this. Her persistence results in constant getting back up and we have to start the process all over again, only we take ten steps back each time and she becomes more awake than sleepy. Once we finally get Sophia asleep in her bed, she’ll likely wake up 2-3 times which requires us starting over with her routine. Sometimes if I’m lucky I can sort of push her body back down in bed and rub her back until she falls back asleep. Sometimes she doesn’t fall back into a deep, restful sleep and she stirs every half hour or so. Sophia is always up for the day at 4 a.m. Yes, 4 a.m. My child has always been an early riser and again, the sleep doctor said that this will likely not change. Some people are biologically programmed this way. Joy!

Why am I sharing all of this? Because I know that I am not the only parent experiencing this. I know that people like to brag about what great sleepers their children are and those with kids like Sophia, well, they hide in shame because it’s easier NOT to talk about the struggles. I also feel like this blog is a good way for me to document everything about parenting – the good, the bad, and the downright ugly (file sleep issues under ugly). I feel like I’ve done a horrible job of documenting Sophia’s first two years of life in the form of an actual baby book or scrapbook or something tangible because I don’t have the extra energy in me. I enjoy writing and wish I had done more these last two years but for now, this blog will serve as a place to look back someday, when Sophia’s a little older, and reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly experiences of these early years.

I am confident that we’ll get past this and someday it’ll seem like an insignificant issue compared to what the teenage years will likely bring. But for now, it’s real life. It’s hard. It’s our reality and I can’t undermine that. I can only hope that when our next baby comes along, I’ll approach sleep in a whole new way and will do everything in my power to make sure that baby #2 is the best darn sleeper in the whole wide world. I can dream, can’t I?

Just for fun, here are a few recent pictures of Sophia...

Say Cheese!

Well, Hello again blog world! So nice of you to still exist despite my complete and utter lack of attention. Remember when I said that I'd keep up blogging when Sophia started sleeping better? Welllll, that still hasn't happened. Yes, she usually gives me a good afternoon nap each day but that's when this momma curls up on the couch and takes a much-needed rest herself. She's still up at night a few times and is an absolute lark - seriously, her internal alarm clock always goes off by 4am, sometimes earlier. If you've ever had a child who slept poorly you can truly sympathize with what life is like for Dave and I these days. And if you haven't ever had a child who slept poorly, count your blessings. Seriously. You have no idea how lucky you are.

With all of that said, it's been almost five months since I've shared pictures of my crazy (yet completely adorable) toddler so prepare for another overload here. She now knows how to say cheese but usually doesn't stop moving long enough for me to get a good shot. So here's what we've been up to since I last updated the blog in mid-July:

We spent a weekend in Fish Creek Door County where we enjoyed biking through Peninsula State Park, eating delicious food, dipping our toes in the lake (Sophia's first time!), and walking and shopping around town. We made a special stop in Sturgeon Bay on our way home to visit with Sophia's godfather, Jesse, and his family. Sophia got her first "ride" on a horse and enjoyed meeting Uncle Jesse's parents and sisters.

Summer brought a visit from Sophia's godmother, Kelsey, and of course we indulged in a walk downtown Cedarburg, some playtime at the park, and took too many pictures to share! Here are just two of my favorites from the day (and yes, Sophia wore that dress A LOT this summer!)

 



Sophia LOVES the water! She took swimming lessons at our local pool in August and we visited the free splash park a few times, too. I can't wait to take her again next summer when she'll be able to keep up with all of the big kids.

 



 

We went to the zoo a lot this summer thanks to our zoo pass (best present ever!). We made a special trip to the zoo when Aunt Katie came home to visit. My child is fearless and loves making animal noises...she learned it's even better when you can come face-to-face with the animals. Thank goodness for the glass or she would have pet this lion.

We enjoyed many hikes at the Lion's Den Gorge where Sophia loved running the boardwalk, chasing daddy through the woods, and trying to catch the falling leaves. Fall was quickly approaching but the weather was still so nice and warm!

 



We took a short trip over Labor Day weekend to LaCrosse to celebrate Dave's mom's 60th birthday. Sophia enjoyed exploring the gardens and took her first boat ride.

 



 

October sent us to the Pumpkin Patch to pick pumpkins and Sophia enjoyed her first hayride. After the pumpkin patch, we visited my grandma at the farm. It was my great grandparent's old farm but it's not functioning anymore. We walked the corn fields one last time before they starting building the subdivision. Papa used to play here as a child...so fun to see him walking the field with Sophia.

Sophia had fun trick-or-treating this year, although she cared more about petting people's dogs and wanted to throw everyone's pumpkins because clearly they resemble her favorite toy: balls. She dressed as an owl this year and I am proud to say I made her costume. I am so not crafty or creative but I wanted to make something cute, simple, and cheap.

 



 

The Wisconsin Fall weather had been unseasonably warm for a while so we spent a lot of time playing outside and at the park. We made one last trip to the park last weekend because we knew the weather was about to turn cold soon.

 

We celebrated Thanksgiving, although I forgot to take any pictures, and then celebrated Grandpa Irish's and grandma Anderson's birthdays the next few days. These are some lucky, wonderful grandparents if you ask me!

 

 

Sophia has become such a fun, spirited little girl. I love being her mommy. She is incredibly sweet, independent, stubborn, and smart. She continually managed to challenge my rules with her smile and "please mamma's", especially when begging for cookies (grandma got her hooked on Chips Ahoy). There is nothing better though as parent than watching your child learn and develop their own personality. Sophia knows all of her colors and shapes, she can tell you (very loudly) what noise every animal says, and she's working on counting and her alphabet, and she now says please and thank you without being asked. She is speaking in simple sentences and always puts mama, dada, papa, or grandma at the end of every sentence. She is obsessed with her stuffed animals - pup-pup is still her favorite but Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, and Piggy now accompany us everywhere (including when we rock to sleep). She loves running in circles, playing chase, throwing balls, swinging, and going down the slide. She has become a little artist and would draw with crayons all day if we let her. She never leaves an inch of the page white. Sophia loves to share which I am thankful for. She is compassionate and gentle, loving to give hugs and kisses to family, friends, random boys at Playgroup, and her stuffed animals. Sometimes I can't believe we only have a few months left before she turns two!