Thirty

Celebrating thirty a few months early, pedal tavern-style.

Thirty. Everyone told me it wouldn't feel much different than 29. They're right. But turning thirty makes me think back on the last decade of my life.

I started my twenties with a life-changing volunteer experience in Tanzania, Africa. I returned home from Africa with my heart on fire. Tanzania, specifically my time at the Nkoaranga Orphanage, shook me in a way that no other experience probably ever will. My passion for orphan care and adoption undoubtedly grew from this experience.

I celebrated my 21st birthday with my girlfriends drinking booze and eating Chinese food while getting my first (and only) tattoo. I'm pretty sure the year of 21 was sort of a whirlwind of (legally) trying out new bars that my fake ID (sorry, mom!) never allowed me access too.

I met Dave shortly before my 22nd birthday. Soon after, I completed my Bachelor's degree in Social Work and packed my bags for an advanced graduate program in Madison. Meanwhile, Dave proposed in June and I spent the summer wedding planning before heading off to Madison. Less than a year later, I was armed with a Master's degree and accepting my first big-girl job at the age of 23.

Dave and I purchased our first home that same year, just a few weeks after I finished up graduate school. We were married two months later on August 1st. A few months later I was pregnant for the first time. We'd lose that baby days before my 24th birthday.

A week after I turned 25 we celebrated the birth of our first child. Sophia's birth filled me with feelings of unconditional love. I quickly learned that motherhood is as hard as it is wonderful though. Having a first born with colic and sleep issues made motherhood feel nothing like I dreamed it would be. The next two years were filled with sleepless nights, celebrating baby milestones, balancing working part-time with motherhood responsibilities, and pretending like I totally had this whole parenting thing under control.

By 27, I was pregnant with Grayson and Sophia was finally starting to come around to the idea of sleep. Life felt settled. Sophia was blossoming into a happy, playful, energetic little toddler who was actually quite delightful to be around (as opposed to her baby days). I had taken on a new part-time child abuse prevention supervisor role at Children's that was I incredibly excited to explore and grow in. I felt ready, even excited, to tackle the newborn stage again with baby #2.

Grayson arrived in August 2013. I truly enjoyed the first three weeks of his life and thought that I finally lucked out with a dream baby like everyone else I knew. Then colic set in again. We discovered he had a cow's milk protein allergy. He never once took a bottle. He wanted to be held or rocked or strapped to my chest all day. Meanwhile, that energetic toddler I mentioned, she needed to be potty trained, and chased around the park, and fed and all that other stuff to keep her alive. Motherhood...it sort of felt like an Olympic sport during that time.

By the time I turned 28 I was a full-time stay-at-home mom with an infant and a toddler. Fast forward two years and I'm still in that place, only with a toddler and a preschooler. People keep telling me I'll miss these days but I'm not totally convinced of that.

My twenties were filled with so much growth, adventure, and special once-in-a-lifetime moments. My twenties will definitely be hard to top. I have a feeling, though, that the real adventure begins in my thirties. And I am so eager to see where they take me.



A Whole30 Perspective

I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions. This year, however, I used the New Year as an excuse to hit the reset button on my overall wellness. Last year I finally took control of my mental health, seeking treatment for the anxiety that developed after Grayson's birth two years earlier. I also started incorporating essential oils into my daily life to help manage my mood and insomnia. I made huge improvements in both areas but I knew there was still room for improvement. One area I was eager to explore was how food impacted my mental health and overall wellness.


Looking at how food impacts mood, anxiety, and sleep was the reason I said yes to the Whole30 idea. Eating whole foods appealed to me over other options that included synthetic supplements. My goal was wellness, not weight loss. I wanted to detoxify my body and eliminate the primary allergen food groups while transforming how I thought about food and what I was putting into my body. Thirty days without dairy, soy, grains, alcohol, refined sugar, and processed foods. Sounded simple enough.


I'll admit that it took a lot of planning to get through my first Whole30. First, I read the Whole30 book cover to cover. I wanted to understand the why as much as the how. The book did a great job of preparing me mentally. It also served as a great starting point for meal planning thanks to a generous recipe selection. I planned every breakfast, lunch, and dinner for an entire month ahead of time. I shopped for my meat in bulk twice in the month. Costco for organic, grass-fed beef and organic chicken breast - Sendiks & Trader Joe's for the rest of the meat. I purchased all fresh produce (the bulk of the budget) every three days or so. Again, most of my produce came from Sendiks but I did buy some things in bulk at Costco like avocados, sweet potatoes, Kale, and spinach. Meal planning on paper, shopping around at a variety of stores, and advanced meal prepping (cooking & seasoning meat, washing & chopping veggies) were essential to the success of my Whole30.

I kept my meals simple. Protein, veggies, a handful of fruit, and healthy fat for three meals a day. I limited snacking with the exception of post-workout during the mid-morning. Before I share some of my favorite meals, I have to add that I did not eat a single egg or salad during my entire Whole30. There is a misconception that you can't do a Whole30 without living on eggs and salad. I personally don't like eggs, mostly because of the smell and texture. I'm also not a huge salad fan unless I don't have to prepare it myself. I also never got around to finding a Whole 30-compliant dressing and I didn't take the time to whip up one on my own.


Now, for a few of my Whole30 favorite recipes:
Breakfast: Banger Sausage Patties & Sweet Potato Mash; Melissa's Chicken Hash (found in the Whole30 Book or similar here)
Lunch: Turkey and Spinach Stuffed Sweet Potatoes; Butternut Squash & Apple Soup; Mexican Tuna Boats
Dinner: Paleo Italian Meatballs over spaghetti squash; Paleo Chili; Taco Lettuce Wraps; Smoky Beanless Chili; Paleo Cinco de Mayo Burgers; Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Meatballs with Easy Oven Roasted Potatoes; Bacon Apple Smothered Pork Chops with Cauliflower Mash; Pulled Pork Stuffed Sweet Potatoes; Shepherd's Pie (found in Whole30 Book); Pot Roast (also found in the Whole 30 Book)


The thirty days actually flew by after the initial hump. Eating clean became normal. Spending the time meal prepping and cooking became enjoyable. Throughout the thirty days, I noticed that my energy level increased, my headaches improved, my concentration improved, I started sleeping better (when my kids let me), my overall mood improved, my workouts became more productive, my digestive system felt restored, my cravings were gone, and I felt motivated to continue making consciously healthy decisions about the food I eat. It truly was a shift in my thinking. My first Whole30 has set the course for a new way of eating for our family, one that lends itself nicely to the Paleo approach. I look forward to challenging myself to be creative in our meals and adventurous in my eating in the months to come. Who knows, maybe I'll toss in another Whole30 soon. It really was that good!

Preparing for Him

Trimming the tree, stringing white lights, wrapping presents, baking cookies...Christmas is upon us. We've entered the season of preparation. What I love most about this time of year is Advent and the time spent preparing our hearts for the birth of our Savior.

As we begin this first week of Advent, I'm reminded that how we prepare as a family impacts the way my children understand and think about Christmas. While our children do receive Santa gifts and take part in many of the commercialized aspects of Christmas, we're dedicating this Advent season to preparing their hearts for the birth of baby Jesus and to feel joy in giving rather than receiving.

Here's a look at our Advent preparations this year...

OUR JESSE TREE

The Advent Jesse Tree has become a yearly tradition for our family. The Jesse Tree tradition began as a family tree for Jesus and originates from Isaiah 11:1 which says, "A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse." There is an ornament for each day of December through Christmas Day that depicts a story from biblical history. For each symbol, there are correlating Old and New Testament Scriptures. From the story of creation to the story of the wise men following a star, each symbol was chosen to help tell the story of God's plan to bring us back to Him through Jesus. The Jesse Tree displays the story of the coming of Christ, carved out through history, by the sovereign hand of God.

Each morning, the kids will hang the ornament on the tree and together we'll read the scripture verses and retell the story associated with the symbol on the ornament. I love that these are mostly stories that the kids are already familiar with and that Sophia gets excited about re-telling in her own way.

25 RANDOM ACTS OF CHRISTMAS KINDNESS

Sophia has such a big heart. She was my side kick during the Operation Christmas Child collection and she loved helping. The social worker in me wants to continue to help my kids understand the importance of serving others and being helpers in our community. This specific Advent preparation appeals to the idea of helping the kids feel joy in giving to and doing for others instead of focusing solely on the gifts they hope to receive this Christmas.

Elfie (our creepy little Elf on a Shelf guy) has become a kindness elf this year. Each morning, the kids will find a new Random Act of Kindness note on Elfie. Sophia came up with most of them on her own. They include (mostly) simple and inexpensive or free things the kids can take charge of doing themselves. Holding the door for kids at school, baking cookies for the senior center, bringing hot chocolate to the crossing guard, leaving candy canes on cars in the parking lot, donating old toys, picking out food to give to the food pantry...just to name a few of Sophia's ideas. Sophia is so excited to get started!

A BOOK-A-DAY ADVENT CALENDAR

Each night through Christmas the kids will open one new book at bedtime. This is in keeping more with the traditional Advent calendar approach. Most of the books tell of the true message of Christmas while some are classics that the kids will simply enjoy. Thanks to those school Scholastic book orders this advent calendar approach actually was rather inexpensive and we'll be able to put the books away and use them again next year if we choose.

And so the preparing begins....

With small children, it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of mainstream Christmas. The wish lists and presents, letters and visits to Santa, the oversized inflatable lawn ornaments & chocolate-filled advent calendars. This year, I encourage you to be intentional in your own Advent preparations. Help your children experience the true joy this Christmas and let the love of our Savior Jesus fill their hearts.

Grayson Turns Two!

You guys, my baby turned two last week. Excuse me while I wipe away a few tears and beg time to slow down just a little.

Every mom says it. With each kid too. But it's true...they grow so fast. And in the midst of these terrible two's we've begun I keep reminding myself of that. As hard as some days are, they are still filled with so much laughter, joy, and pure silliness. Life with a two year old really isn't so bad. In fact, it can be quite entertaining.

Grayson is a funny, sweet, happy, smart little boy. His dark brown eyes melt my heart and they happen to be his secret weapon when he's done something naughty (such as throwing his plate of food across the kitchen floor, his favorite part of mealtime). Grayson has a huge vocabulary these days and often uses it to assert his way or make demands (such as "mommy sit here" or "more milk please" or "outside play park"). He's quite easily fallen into the typical two year old independent "I know it all" way which usually just makes me laugh and think that he really is turning out to be just like his big sister.

Grayson is all boy. He loves trucks, trains, and tractors. And everything has to have a "tail" (a trailer) pulled behind it. He likes to lay down on the floor eye level when he plays with his trucks and cars and he makes the most perfect noises as though he was born to be a sound machine for toy vehicles. Grayson loves to swing, slide, and run up and down ramps on the playground. He loves splashing in water fountains and the big waterslide at the pool. He loves pretending to cut the grass and leaf blow. Grayson would spend all day outside if we let him. He loves being chased and tickled and his giggles are incredibly infectious. Grayson and Sophia are two peas in a pod and watching the love grow between them makes my heart so happy.

Grayson doesn't go anywhere without his Pooh Bear. He sleeps with his arm wrapped around him, eats with him on his tray, and rides around in the car with his snuggled in safely on his lap. Pooh comes to the store, outside, the park, play dates...wherever you find Grayson you're sure to find Pooh close by. I know I should probably make him leave Pooh at home in bed but I know the day will come when Pooh gets left behind for good. And we've all seen Toy Story. I'll let Pooh get all the love he can these days. As much as Grayson loves his Pooh, he'll tell you that his best friends are Owen and Sophia.

We celebrated Grayson's actual birthday with a pizza party and cake with the grandparents and Aunt Katie visiting from Florida. Grayson was most excited about his big new flatbed truck with digger and his own "hoop ball" (basketball hoop). He was especially excited for his big construction party with all of our family and friends. He enjoyed bouncing with friends, consuming far too much sugar, and setting all of his birthday balloons free in the sky.

Grayson is such a special little boy and he is so very loved. We're thankful for everyone who helped him celebrate turning two! This is sure to be a year filled with adventure and so many little giggles from my brown-eyed big boy!

Grayson

Seven weeks later and I'm here to announce that we've welcomed a sweet baby boy into our family!

 Grayson Charles was born on Tuesday, August 6th after an early induction, failed epidural, and two pushes! He has a full head of a dark hair and beautiful dark eyes. He started out as a calm baby but the tides have quickly turned. He nurses like I'm a 24/7 all-you-can-eat buffet, is being treated for reflux, and has decided that he'll only sleep if he's strapped to my body in the Ergo or Moby. But it's all good because this stage will soon pass and so will his sweet newborn-ness. In fact, in just seven weeks he's grown from a tiny, scrawny little 7 pound baby to a chubby-cheeked 12.5 pound lug. Still cute as can be though!

 

We're still settling into life as a family of four. Sophia loves her baby brother is gives him hugs and kisses often. She calls him "bubba" and "little buddy" and tells him that she loves him about a hundred times a day. Don't let that sweetness fool you, she does ask for me to "put him away" sometimes and she clearly misses her mommy-Sophia time. I completely took for granted the simplicity of life with just one child.

 

I hope to find some time soon to catch up on all of the details of Grayson's life thus far, but for now, I'm busy doing life with my two littles!



Sophia: 27 Months

This age is my favorite. Despite the challenging moments that come along with parenting a two year old, there are so many joyous, beautiful, melt-your-heart moments that far outweigh any of the hard stuff. I wish I could bottle up her little personality so that I never forget her at this age. But I know that as she grows, the little details will fade from my memory. Here are a few of things I really don’t want to forget about my 27 month old Sophia…

Her laugh. Her sweet little giggle is incredibly infectious. She thinks that everything she says is funny and will insist that you giggle along with her. She loves to call everything and everyone silly. She’ll squint her little eyes, reach out her hands like she’s going to tickle something, let out a little laugh and say “Silly, mommy. Silly, pup. Silly, slide. Silly, tree.” Everything is silly.

Her random snuggles. My child loves to hug. She will stop playing and climb up in my lap for a snuggle and say, “Oh, mommy. I love you.” Dave and I took her on a nature walk last weekend and she stopped in the middle to give Dave a hug. She gives hugs and kisses to family members when she’s saying goodbye. When it comes time to say goodbye to our regular play date buddies, she’ll tuck her head down and bring her arms across her body, waiting for them to give her a hug.

 

Her independent and persistent little personality. Everything is “me too” or “by myself” or “me do it”. She insists on doing everything alone, even if she isn’t quite able to yet. She helps sweep floors, vacuum, unpack groceries, fold laundry, and clean up her toys. She’s turning into such a little mommy. Her persistence may be a struggle with potty training which she’s just starting to do. She likes sitting on the big potty and talks about the dollhouse and pet fish we’ve promised her when she learns to wear big girl underwear without accidents. She hates the feeling of wet diapers and will insist on being changed but is just a little too stubborn to put those big girl undies on yet. I’m not pushing it. Everyone says she’ll do it when she’s ready and if you’ve met Sophia, you know that when she wants to do something, she will most certainly do it!

 

Her love of the kitchen. Every morning, Sophia pulls her little chair up to the kitchen counter and declares that we are making muffins. “Mix, mommy. Mix!” she always says. If it’s not muffins with mommy it’s pancakes with daddy. Or spreading the butter on her waffles. And if I’m not cooking, she pretends that she is and is perfectly content mixing flour around in a bowl. She loves pouring liquids until bowls and thinks cracking eggs is fun. She wears my oven mitts and pretends that her play kitchen oven is hot, too.

The way she loves her baby brother already. Sophia’s been so helpful in getting ready for baby. She loves putting all of his toys on his play mat. She helped daddy raise the crib up (Sophia happens to be a big fan of tools!). She loves to “tickle” baby brother in my belly. She tells him to wake up every morning and take a bath. She snuggles my belly sometimes and says, “My baby, my baby!” She’s smitten and I really hope she stays that way when he arrives.

Her love of the outdoors. Sophia would live at the park if we let her. Seriously. She wakes up every morning (sometimes before the sun) and the first words out of her mouth are always “Go to park with big kids.” When I tell her it’s too early and too dark outside she happily replies with, “Bring flashlight.” Smart girl. Nothing can get in her way of spending as many hours each day at the park as possible. She is absolutely fearless these days and insists that she can do everything the big kids do. I love when the big kids (you know, the 4 and 5 year olds) want to actually play with her at the park because it makes her feel so important and proud. Even when some of the big kids are mean and throw wood chips at her, calling her a baby, she smiles and continues to chase them (and I laugh a little at the fact that those mean big kids can’t escape my two year old). My child could run for hours on end. If we’re not at the park, we’re running around outside, pushing her baby stroller on walks, riding her bike, chasing balls down the driveway, spinning in circles with the hula hoop, or making a gigantic mess in the sand and water table. Her heart is most content when she’s outdoors and that makes me so happy.

The way she finally learned how to sleep. The very best part of warmer weather and playing outside all day long is the fact that Sophia has finally learned to sleep (sort of). She’s still not a perfect sleeper but considering where we were, we’ve made tremendous improvements in the past few weeks. Sophia’s been sleeping through the night more times than not each week. I’m talking 8-9 hours (on a rare occasion 10!) of uninterrupted sleep for her which is more than we’ve ever been able to say before. The trade-off has been the reduction in naps on most days but I’m perfectly content with that if it means better nights. Instead of napping she’ll get to watch a movie in the afternoon and we’ll spend time reading books. She’s started falling asleep randomly on the couch in the middle of reading or watching a movie which makes me laugh because this usually comes after a good hour-long battle in which she declares repeatedly, “No nap mommy. Sophia play.” I know that this might just be temporary but we’re enjoying it while it’s here. At least Dave is. I have another baby keeping me up these days!

Her creativity. Sophia is so good at imaginative play. She plays well independently with her toys and loves making her little dolls and Little People talk. She can put together her Playmobil Zoo and lines up all of her animals perfectly on her little ark. She absolutely loves art. She plays with her Playdoh and Dot Art a thousand times each day. She loves to paint. She insists on twisting pipe cleaners into animal shapes and drawing with markers on her easel. We’re not sure where she got this artistic gift from but I consider it a blessing since it’s one that Dave and I truly lack.

How smart she is. I’m biased but my goodness does Sophia catch onto things quickly! She absolutely loves to learn and when she does learn something new, she will tell you about it over and over again. She loves to spell and daddy enjoys teaching her. She can spell her name and a few other words, too. She sings her ABC’s, counts to 20, and is speaking in sentences. Her memory is sharper than mine and she never forgets a detail. Even if it’s something from 5 days ago. She loves making lists and sometimes I think she has a photographic memory. Her development is really taking off with each passing month and I love watching her learn.

 

How much she loves. I will never grow tired of hearing “I love you mommy.” Sophia is the most gentle, compassionate, loving little girl I’ve ever met. She cried for the first time last week when my mom put her in the car for their Thursday grandma-Sophia day together. She’s usually so excited to see grandma and rattles off a list of everything they are going to play that day. This time, she cried when I gave her a kiss goodbye. It was a big-tear, red-face, from the heart kind of cry. She wanted to stay with mommy. It broke my heart and melted it all at the same time. I love how much she needs me and wants to be with me. I know that will fade eventually as she grows but right now, I want to soak up each little “I love you” that her sweet little voice whispers.

27 Weeks

Twenty-seven weeks (well, actually, I'm just about 28 weeks now). Has it really been six weeks already since my last update? I wish I could go back and tell my pregnant-with-Sophia-self to enjoy all of that free time that I had to post about my pregnancy, take pictures of my growing belly, and prepare for a baby. Things are so much different the second time around! I've been busy chasing my "I'm too big for naps, I'm going to play outside all day" toddler that I sometimes forget that I'm pregnant! I've really been enjoying my time with Sophia, though, as busy she keeps me these days. I am soaking up every single minute I have with her as my one and only before I find myself trying to split my time between an energetic, attention-seeking toddler and a very needy newborn.

 

Belly picture on Mother's Day at 27 weeks

She didn't want to be included in this week's picture...all she cared about was a piggy back ride (since baby brother was already taking the front seat)

 

How Far Along: 27 weeks. Less than 13 weeks to go at this point! That sounded like so much time until I realized how much I have left to do. We'll have another ultrasound around 30-32 weeks to see if the partial placenta previa has cleared on it's own, making it safe for me to deliver. If not, my doctor will go ahead and schedule a c-section for me. She was pretty confident that things would separate as they should and I should be able to move forward with delivery the way I see fit. I'm also praying that baby boy decides to stay in until at least his due date. With Sophia I was so anxious to get her out but this time around, I like the idea of being induced again. From a planning perspective, it would make things easier and I honestly felt so relaxed about it all last time around. Plus if I'm induced, my doctor will do it on the day she works from the hospital so I'll have a greater chance of her being able to deliver the baby (she was so calm and wonderful with Sophia's deliver!). Again, someone remind me of my desire to stay pregnant until 40 weeks when I'm uncomfortably huge and hot in August.

Pregnancy Symptoms: I'm comfortable mostly these days, although I will remind Dave at least 100 times a day that I'm really not. I can't get comfortable when I'm sitting or lying down and my feet are usually pretty tired at the end of the day from chasing Sophia from sun-up to sun-down. I'm having awful middle and upper back pain, probably from all of the bending, lifting, and carrying that comes along with having a toddler. Thankfully, the heating pad helps a little and I get a little break when Dave walks in at the end of the day. I've developed nasty acid reflux which I think it contributing to my eating issues. Overall, I can't complain much at this point. I know that I'm in for a lot of discomfort when the weather finally stays warm. These 60 and 70 degree days have been ideal for a pregnant lady, that's for sure. Thank you Mother Nature!

Food Cravings: I'm having a difficult time with food right now, as in I really have no desire to eat most days. Kind of ironic considering I'm always hungry! Nothing sounds appetizing to me (especially chicken!). It's mostly food aversions based on textures and smells at this point.  I have cut out a lot of dairy because it was making my stomach feel just awful. Turns out Almond Milk is actually quite delicious. I have, however, been craving Chobani greek yogurt and sea salt flavored Kettle Chips.

Moves & Grooves: Baby boy used to be so calm and quiet in my belly. He really only moved at night when I was finally able to rest. In the past two weeks, his movements have really picked up. He spends most of the day kicking and punching the inside of my belly. We know he's a long baby so I think he's just running out of room in there. It's been fun feeling the movements again...I forgot what a wonderful feeling it truly is!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Celebrating Mother's Day while expecting. That first Mother's Day after my very first miscarriage was so difficult. I didn't know it at that time but I was actually just a few weeks pregnant with Sophia when Mother's Day came around. Since then, Mother's Day has taken on a whole new meaning because of the losses we've experienced. I found myself thinking more this year about those women yearning to be moms, struggling with getting pregnant, or dealing with the loss of a baby or child. I feel so blessed to have Sophia but celebrating as a mommy-to-be-of-two was even sweeter this year!

Preparing for Baby: It dawned on me the other day that this last trimester is going to go so quickly...it's about time I get cracking at decorating his room and purchasing some non-pink baby gear! Baby's bedding was finally ordered this week and my design-expert friend came over to help me think over the bare walls and what we could do to add a little life and color to the empty grey walls. It's also about time we schedule a tour of the hospital where we are delivering this time. Since a new hospital opened just around the corner from our house, my doctor has since lost her privileges to practice where we had Sophia. I've heard wonderful things about this new hospital's birthing unit...who doesn't love giant whirlpool tubs?

Preparing Sophia: People have started asking how Sophia feels about having a baby brother. At this point, she's beyond excited. She wakes up every morning asking for baby brother to come out and play. She wants to put him in his car seat and give him a bath. She loves taking out all of the baby toys and telling me how she's going to share her toys with him (yea, we'll see about that one!). She likes to tickle my belly and say "tickle tickle baby brother". She snuggles my belly and tells baby brother to go to sleep. She loves going into his room and telling me where he's going to sleep. I think she gets that there really is a baby brother coming (she tells me "three more months" a lot these days) but I'm still nervous about how she'll react when he's here. She calls him "my baby" and has stopped referring to him as "Hector" and sometimes calls him by the name we've chosen. She'll be such a great big sister but I want to make this summer as special as possible for her since she'll never get to be the only child again!

And now we enter the third trimester....