Patience

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." - Colossians 3:12

This has always been one of my favorite Bible verses. It's simply one of those verses that I strive to exemplify in my daily life. Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Who wouldn't want to possess those qualities? I will admit that personally, some of those qualities are easier to possess than others. Some come easier to me because I feel like they are so ingrained in who I am as a person - they are a part of who I am as a wife, a daughter, a friend, and a social worker. Throughout my life, I have watched my ability to show compassion, kindness, and gentleness to the "least of these" grow. I have a heart for the poor, the orphan and the widow, the destitute, the sick, and those suffering. I am a social worker, afterall. I often find myself trying to instill these qualities in those around me as well - attempting to break down stereotypes, racism, and judgements that are often unwarranted and the result of ignorance, fear, or the environment in which someone was raised. While I consider those qualities my strengths, I struggle with the others. Humility is a quality that I think everyone struggles with. How can we be humble while also striving to be the best versions of ourselves? How do we show pride in our accomplishments while maintaining the humility God commands us to have? Perhaps the most difficult of all the qualities in this verse is patience. Patience is something I can openly say I do not have. I am an impatient person regardless of circumstance. When I want something, I want it now. I'm convinced I was genetically wired to be an impatient person. Thanks, mom (let's not kid ourselves into thinking my dad actually could've passed along this trait. He's the most patient man I know).

I've said before that one of the hardest things about pregnancy is all the waiting. You wait for that magic little stick to display the results you've been hoping for. You wait to see if a tiny heartbeat will appear on the ultrasound screen. You wait to see if your baby will continue to grow, if your pregnancy will be viable. You wait for the sickness to pass and your energy to be renewed. You wait to find out what baby is or isn't hiding between it's little legs. You wait to put together a nursery and for baby showers to bring all the baby stuff to fill that nursery. You wait in excitement as the end of the pregnancy draws near. In all of the months of this pregnancy, the last three weeks have been the hardest. In fact, the last three weeks have felt longer than the entire pregnancy. Knowing how close we are the end but not knowing exactly when the end is coming has really tested the patience gene I really think I'm lacking. I'm pretty sure my husband lacks it as well. In fact, his case of impatience may be worse than mine at this point. He sits next to me as I'm having contractions playing his own version of 100 questions. Are they strong? How far apart are they? Do I need anything? Keep breathing (okay, that's not a question but you get what I'm saying).

Well, in these last few weeks I've certainly prayed for a lot more patience, more than ever before. Waiting is hard in any circumstance. I think about those adopting; waiting for their referrals or to travel to meet their children and bring them home where they belong. I think about those waiting for cancer treatments to end, for news of a diagnosis, or for peace after the loss of a loved one. There are those waiting for news of a job offer or for their wedding day to finally arrive. So many people in my life are waiting on something. I just happen to be waiting on a baby. Patience. I just have to have patience. I may joke that baby girl is never going to come out but she is...maybe later than I would have hoped or expected. But she's coming. By next Wednesday, she'll be here. Patience. I just need a little more patience.