The Year in Review

2010 was a year of highest highs and lowest lows for the Irish’s. Here’s a little peak back at some of this year’s highlights.

In January, we found out that we were expecting our first baby. We hadn’t planned on getting pregnant so quickly but were thrilled when we found out. We couldn’t wait to tell our parents who we knew would share equally in our excitement. We had my parents over for dinner one night to share the news. Dave was surprised I kept it a secret for the first few days and trust me, it took every ounce of willpower in my body not to pick up the phone and call my mom. They were beyond excited, although Dad did keep saying they were too young to be grandparents. We took Dave’s parents to lunch at Olive Garden to tell them the news they’ve been waiting for since their first child got married. Leave it to the baby of the bunch, and the last to marry, to finally give them the grandchild they’ve been waiting so long for. They too were thrilled.

Our excitement lasted just a few short weeks. On February 8 we went in for our first visit with our doctor who after an ultrasound told us that the baby didn’t look to be quite as big for the 8 weeks we thought we were at at that point. She said it could be nothing to worry about and said that she’d monitor my hormone levels with blood work over the next week and we’d come back for another ultrasound in a week. The day after my 24th birthday we went back to the doctor and another ultrasound confirmed our worst fears – the baby had stopped developing and there was no heartbeat. My body was waiting to miscarry. A day later, on February 17, the physical pain was over and we left to deal with the emotional aftermath. To this day, I still believe that was the single worst day of my life. And I still pray that our baby girl is not born this February 17th because that day will always hold memories of our first baby.

Dave was given an exciting new opportunity to change jobs in March. He’s really enjoying his new job with WE Energies and he’s found the position to be exciting, challenging, and full of opportunities to grow. His job allows him so much flexibility which will be great with having a family and his boss has been fabulous to both of us – opening his home and family to us. We were fortunate to sneak in a visit to Dave’s grandma in Arizona this month before he started his new job. It was so nice to spend some time with his grandma in the warm sunshine!

April and May were rather uneventful months for us. We were still grieving the loss of the baby while trying to move forward and start again. We agreed we would let nature take its course and didn’t stress over getting pregnant again. We threw ourselves into house projects as Spring came – painting bedrooms, finishing bathrooms, and digging up some of the old landscaping. It was a welcomed distraction at the time.

June was a month full of changes and surprises to say the least. In mid-June I left my job with the American Cancer Society and found out that I was I was pregnant the very next day. I was relieved to be done with a job that I miserable in and company whose mission I didn’t believe in or support. Admittedly, I was overwhelmed at the thought of starting over at a new job with a baby on the way. Unlike the first time I found out I was pregnant, when Dave was there with me, this time I was home alone and absolutely frightened when that little stick said “pregnant”. I remember calling Dave and then my mom and just crying to both. I was thrilled, anxious, and completely terrified all at once. The next few weeks after that were filled with lots of doctors appointments, a lot of blood work, weekly ultrasounds, and two incredibly anxious parents-to-be!

July brought our worries to an end (for the most part) as we learned that this second pregnancy was not only viable but progressing beautifully. We were able to breathe a few sighs of relief before all those nasty little first-trimester pregnancy symptoms set in. I’m not sure Dave was adequately prepared for all the joys that a successful pregnancy were about to bring him :)

In August, we celebrated our first wedding anniversary! I still can’t believe how quick the first year went. The fact that we experienced one of the most challenging and devastating moments of both of our lives together, during our first year of marriage, made us feel like we could survive the next however many God will bless our lives with. I also had the privilege of celebrating one of my best friend’s marriages in August as Miss. Katharine Nelson became Mrs. Katharine Suwalski. I absolutely loved every minute of her wedding and felt so honored to be a part of one of the most important moments of her life.

In September, after toying with a few job offers and Social Work career paths, I finally started my new position in adoptions with Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin. I’m not sure I fully understood what my position would be at that point in time but I loved the idea of doing something adoption-related. As any Social Worker will tell you, a career in Child Welfare is not for the faint of heart and I am learning that very quickly. So far I’ve experienced an overwhelming mixture of emotions as I’m learning more about Milwaukee’s Child Welfare System, foster care, and special needs adoptions. It’s been a test of my emotional and personal strength and has caused me to take a good long look at where I really want to be in my career and personal life as I prepare to enter the world of balancing motherhood and career. Of course I can’t forget that this month we also found out that we were having a baby girl and the color pink officially began to invade the Irish household!

October again was a rather uneventful month for us…we began getting baby’s room ready and really started focusing on everything that needed to be done around the house before baby’s arrival in just a few months.

November brought Dave’s grandma for a visit from Arizona which made Thanksgiving extra-special this year. Dave headed off to Vegas for a work trip which ultimately served as his last little vacation before life becomes all about diapers, pretty little dresses, and sweet little “Daddy, I love you’s”. We also began our birthing classes this month. I feel like November was over before it even began and we moved onto December. December served as the start of the last trimester of the pregnancy and a clear reminder that baby girl’s arrival is just around the corner. I officially began nesting this month and we’re completely in baby mode at this point. We enjoyed the holidays with our families and a visit from Dave’s sister as the year winds to a close.

I look forward to 2011 with much anticipation. Obviously having a baby is at the top of our list for this upcoming year but there are likely to be many more highs and I’m sure even a few lows to come our way in 2011. Regardless of how the next year plays out, our little family of two will grow and our lives will never be the same…and we couldn’t be any more excited!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

If my last post didn’t spell it out, we’re officially in baby-preparation mode after what I like to call “a very baby Christmas”. We officially have some of those basic necessities that I have been stressing over the past few weeks. Dave likes to point out that we still have eight weeks but when you’re an over-prepared, type-A, control-freak planner like me, eight weeks sounds a lot closer than it does to my relaxed, calm, level-headed husband. Now that we have her bottles, bedding, and lots of diapers I feel a tad bit more prepared. More on that later…

How Far Along: Thirty-two weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: I might as well be a ninety year-old woman because that’s exactly how I feel. My whole body aches, especially hips. I feel like I’m recovering from a double hip replacement – no matter which side I lay on I am not just uncomfortable but I’m in an unusual amount of pain. I also am having an unusually difficult time breathing, especially when lying down. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack because I can’t seem to get enough air in my nose. It helps to sleep sitting up or propped up. I think the people on the elipticals next to me at the gym must wonder if I’m about to pass out (or give birth) because I can only imagine what my constant gasping for air sounds like to the average Joe. Fortunately, exercising is the one time I do find it easier to breathe and until the doctor instructs me to stop, I’ll continue right along. And of course we cannot forget the constant urge to close my eyes and take a good long nap. Maybe it’s the sleepless nights but all I can think about during the day is how much I just want to nap. Yep, definitely feeling like a ninety year old these days.

Food Cravings: I wouldn’t really call it a craving but I have indulged in an insane amount of Christmas cookies over the past few weeks. Just when I cleared out the stash in our house, our neighbors and in-laws decided we needed some more and alas, the Irish house is stocked yet again! All I can say is thank goodness I’m not in post-baby trying-to-get-back-in-shape mode now. I simply cannot resist the temptation. I always blame my constant need for sugar on the baby which Dave says isn’t fair – it’s a legitimate excuse and I plan to continue to use it for the next 8 weeks. On a healthier note, I have a love of fruit these days, especially those cute little Clementines.

Maternity Clothes: I’m throwing this category back in the mix for the simple fact that I ripped my most favorite pair of maternity pants this past week: my khaki cords. They are like heaven to me – rivaling the comfortability of sweatpants and definitely defeating jeans. I was at work and taking one of my many bathroom breaks when they ripped at the seam, right where the little part that covers the belly meets the cord material. I’m talking a big old hole that left my undies exposed. Thankfully I was wearing a long shirt that day. I refuse to buy new pants at this point and plan to test my sewing skills…or at the very least, a few safety pins should do. When I emailed Dave to tell him of my bathroom pant debacle he indulged in a few laughs but told me really it would’ve been more traumatic had they ripped in a more noticeable place. I don’t think she appreciates the delicacy of finding a perfect fitting, comfortable pair of pants while pregnant.

Nursery Progress: Her furniture is all set up, including the rocker. We’ve got lots of diapers and wipes in the changing table waiting for Dave to put to good use :) She has a cute little pink rug courtesy of Land of Nod. All that’s left are some lamps, a small table, and some toy baskets. I’m working with a friend on creating the wall art for her room so that it matches her bedding. I’m attempting to be half creative and entirely practical in the design of her nursery. I’ve got all tags off her clothes and they are all sorted and waiting to be washed. We have more than enough winter outfits and I am convinced that if she gets one more onesie I will scream. I’m moving onto spring/summer clothes now which are way cuter than winter clothes anyways…hello little sun dresses! We have her car seat all put together and both bases ready to be installed in our cars. We have a nice storage system for her closet that Dave gets to assemble this week while he’s off work (lucky guy). I’d say her room is looking more like a peaceful, sweet little dwelling fit for a princess.

Nesting: As I pointed out, Dave says we still have lots of time before baby arrives but I beg to differ. In fact, I may have become a bit neurotic this weekend and began nesting to the point of driving him absolutely crazy. I emptied every kitchen cabinet to find the perfect arrangement of everything we owned to make an empty cabinet just for her bottles and dishes and other baby items. I also felt the need to clean our hall closet again (I just did so over the summer) so that I’d feel more organized. I’m beginning to think I work harder on my weekend’s off than I do during my workweek…I think this is true of most moms.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Celebrating our last holiday as a family of two. Okay, so maybe we’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day just the two of this year unless she decides to come early but that doesn’t really count as a true holiday anyways (as I’m sure my husband will tell you). It was incredibly surreal this Christmas thinking about how next year we’ll have a 10 month old baby girl to celebrate with…it made us both incredibly excited as we know holidays will be just a little more special with a baby around.

Christmas Highlights

We had a very merry Christmas this year... we were especially blessed to spend time with our families and to receive such wonderful gifts. Baby girl had a fantastic Christmas, too - it's amazing how many gifts an uborn child can receive. I can only imagine what next Christmas will look like :)

Here are a few highlights from our Christmas this year.

Here's Dave sportin' his new Diaper Dude diaper bag and one of our Lifestyles glass bottles and bottle brush. We're officially stocked with bottles, diapers, and wipes!


Showing off some of baby's new clothes from her great-grandma. Nothing makes me happier than pink outfits with coordinating blankets


Dad looks beyond thrilled that mom made him wear a Santa hat


More baby gear - all of her bedding, changing pad cover, books, lullaby CD (to go in her new CD player, not pictured), and baby Mozart DVD. Did I mention she had a great Christmas?


The one thing we really wanted this Christmas was a video camera so that we don't miss a minute of baby girl's life. We're so thankful to have received it and we cannot wait to start documenting our daughter's life


We put together "grandparents survival kits" for our parents this year, complete with all the fun things that first-time grandparents need to have around their house


Celebrating with the Irish's...Dave's siblings, sister-in-law and myself with Grandma Irish


We were especially lucky to celebrate with Dave's sister, Katie, who was visiting this Christmas from Peru

From Our Growing Family to Yours...

... we wish you a very merry and blessed Christmas!

I've found myself in a very different frame of mind this Christmas season. It's been interesting preparing for the birth of my own child at a time when we're preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I find myself thinking about Christmas this year from Mary's perspective. I can only imagine what it would have been like to give birth to your Savior...to hold him in your arms and rock him to sleep. Being pregnant at Christmastime has also given me a new perspective on traditions and what I want for our daughter and family in the coming years. I complain to Dave often that so many people around us don't remember that Christmas is about Jesus' birth. They are too busy rushing about purchasing gifts, whipping up tasty treats, or figuring out the logistics of Christmas-day celebrations to truly reflect on why we celebrate in the first place. I don't want our daughter to ever forget the real reason we celebrate Christmas. I want us to bake a cake for Jesus and sing him happy birthday. I want to read the one, true Christmas story with her. I want to limit the number of gifts "Santa" brings so he doesn't overtake our celebrations. I want her to sing songs of praise loudly in front of church on Christmas Eve. There are so many things I wish for our daughter and growing family at Christmastime. I'm so excited to see what next year will bring. Until then, we'll celebrate with our families and enjoy our last Christmas as a family of two :)

Eighty Nine Years

Yesterday, my great grandmother celebrated her eighty-ninth birthday. Although a few weeks ago at her home’s Christmas party I asked her how old she was going to be she said two-hundred. I suppose it all feels the same when you reach a certain milestone in your life. Either way, we celebrated eighty-nine years of the life of Verna Hay (or May as she insists her middle name is) Kulczyski. She was a bit confused and tired yesterday and I don’t think she even realized we were all there to celebrate her birthday but she enjoyed her two pieces of cake and adorned her neck and wrists with some new jewelry, her accessory of choice.









I am so thankful to have had her in my life for almost twenty-five years. Selfishly, I wish she could in fact live to be 200 because I can’t imagine my life without her.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Thirty-one weeks. There's something about typing that thirty that makes me smile.

When we visited the doctor this week, they gave us all sorts of papers with all sorts of tips for "what do to do when nearing term". This included signs of pre-term labor, what to do if your water breaks, and most importantly how to reach the doctor if you think you're in labor. Apparently, once you hit that thirty week mark, they realize the baby could come before your next visit. While she really won't be full-term until 37 weeks, the doctor likes to be prepared for those "just in case" scenarios. Me too, doc! Me too!

Rather than go through my regular weekly update format, I thought I'd share a few other highlights from the past week, most of which came from our doctor's visit. The first big highlight: baby is already head down. In case you aren't quite versed on pregnancy talk, that means that baby is in position for delivery. ALREADY! Now, I know what you're thinking...she still has nine weeks to go. And just because she's head down doesn't mean she'll necessarily come any earlier. In fact, she could still show us more of that stubborn side and decide to come late. What it does mean is that we have one smart baby. No really, we do. Our doctor told us so. Isn't that what every parent wants to hear? :) We're so proud. Actually, my doctor said that since it's my first and my abdominal muscles are all nice and tight still she likely made her way into position and now won't be able to move out of it. It's rather fun to know exactly where she is positioned now because we can get her to kick and high-five regularly. In fact, our doctor enjoyed playing a few tricks with her at our appointment and got some strong movements out of her. Either way, we're bragging that we have a smart baby. Just indulge us a little and go with it, okay?

Not only do we have a smart baby (did I mention that already? oops, my bad!) but I have been a model pregnant patient according to my doctor. While I was having my "I gained four pounds in two weeks!!!!" freak out moment in our exam room after the nurse left, my doctor was across the hall with a woman who had gained nearly 80 pounds in her pregnancy. EIGHTY!! Oh my goodness. So when our doctor entered the room to hear my moans and groans about putting on a few pounds she informed that she wished all her patients could gain the appropriate amount of weight like me and that brought me back to earth a little. No woman wants to hear she's gained weight, even while pregnant BUT it is inevitable and those Christmas cookies are just too good to say no to :)

We're still working on getting her nursery ready and we're eagerly awaiting our two showers in January. We look forward to finally having things to fill her room with and having supplies ready just in case she does decide to come early. For someone like me, who likes to be prepared, I'm itching to have the house all set up and ready, even if her arrival is still weeks away. It's been difficult focusing on Christmas this year (which would explain why I just started my shopping this weekend) while preparing for baby so we'll be thankful when the new year has come and gone and we'll be preparing for what my dad calls our "second Christmas".

A Home for the Holidays

If you watch just one Christmas program this year, please consider making it CBS's A Home for the Holidays Special.

This Christmas special, sponsored by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and the Children's Action Network, will share stories of families touched by foster care and adoption. The special will be presented by celebrities including Mira Sorvino, Sara Gilbert, Holly Robinson Peete, and Leah Remini. It will also feature performances by some of today's most popular artists including Katy Perry, Maroon 5, Melissa Ethridge, Ricky Martin, and Nelly.

Most importantly, the special will share stories of the more than 114,000 children in the U.S. foster care system. It will remind you that these children are in foster care through no fault of their own but rather as a result of abuse, neglect, or abandonment. That no child is too old to be adopted. That most children wait 3-5 years in the foster care system before being adopted. That it costs virtually nothing to adopt from the foster care system. And that a child is a child no matter what their circumstances and that they all want and deserve a loving, permanent home and family.

A Home for the Holidays will air on CBS on December 22nd at 7pm.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Pardon the terribleness of the pictures I post each week. Dave caught me this time in the middle of baking during this Sunday blizzard. He insists that we can only take pictures on Sundays because that's the day that truly marks the beginning of the new week. After morning church I usually trade in for some sweats and that's the point I usually think to take a picture. I swear I actually look much nicer during the work week :)

How Far Along: Thirty weeks. As Dave pointed out today, we are three-quarters of the way to her birth day!

Pregnancy Symptoms: Aching hips and feet. My feet have grown by at least a half size and now that it's officially winter in Wisconsin, I can't get away with wearing flats all the time. I dug out an old pair of winter boots from my mom's closet (since mine no longer fit) and luckily they fit quite well. Putting the boots on is a challenge in themselves but hey, at least my feet won't freeze!

Food Cravings: Chips Ahoy cookies with cold milk. Deeeeelliiisshhh.

The Belly: Well hello big belly! I had thought that I had already "popped" but apparently this was the week in which everyone else thought I popped as well. Everyone from co-workers to family to friends apparently noticed that I was pregnant this week. I even got the "your belly is so big" comment numerous times. While most women dread this comment, I welcomed it after months of hearing that I didn't look pregnant or that my belly appeared to not be growing. There are the occasional people, however, who say absolutely inappropriate things such as "it looks like your hips are getting wider also" or "I can tell you've gained some weight now". Those things...not really what a pregnant lady wants to hear, even if they are true. I'm well aware I'm gaining weight. Hello! I AM pregnant after all. And my hips, well I certainly hope they widen or she won't be able to get out of my belly. This week also drew some feelers - you know, those people who feel the need to touch your belly without asking. I absolutely hate when people touch my belly. Unless your my husband or family, and you've politely asked, there is no reason for you to touch my belly. I'll never understand why people feel that this is okay.

Worst Pregnancy Moment of the Week: The braxton hicks contractions have started and at times can actually be rather intense. They don't come every day and sometimes they only last a few seconds but there can be one or two that really throw my for a loop and I wonder if I'm not about to go into labor. I suppose this is what happens when it's your first baby and you really don't know what to expect. Plus, I'm the first to admit I'm big wuss when it comes to pain... labor should be oh-so-fun for Dave :)

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Lots of movement. We love that she's so active right now and that she's the perfect size (three pounds, 15 inches long) to feel those strong movements in my belly. Dave loves to watch and feel her move and talks to her. I swear she knows exactly who he is because as soon as she hears his voice or feels his hands, she'll follow him or react. It's absolutely precious. I enjoy my quiet time with her and I'm sure she appreciates not having to listen to me talk all day sometimes. I hear these movements start to decrease a little as she gets bigger and has less room to move around in there so we're savoring the moments now.

My First Adoption

I have been waiting ever-so-patiently (okay, more like incredibly eagerly) since starting my new job to witness my first adoption finalization. Today was finally the day! For those of you familiar with the adoption world, you know the amount of preparation, hard work, emotion, time, and most importantly faith that goes into the adoption process. For children being adopted from the foster care system, this process can last years and includes challenges and demands that range from mandatory birthparent visits to termination of parental rights (TPR) hearings. The process is not for the faint of heart. I like to think that as an Adoption Social Worker I will get as much joy out of an adoption finalization as the family but really, it is the child who we celebrate at these finalization hearings and the true joy lies within the fact that they will forever have a family and that their life in the "system" has finally come to a close.

The adoption I witnessed today was so incredibly beautiful. A beautiful little child was welcomed into their new family with their family and friends present. What I found extra-special about this adoption was the fact that it was an African family adopting an American child. My perspecticve shifted a little. Here I was this American woman with dreams of adopting an African child of my own someday, sitting next to this beautiful African couple who felt the urge to welcome a precious American child into their home. I loved how at one point the judge said, "I believe it really does take a village to raise a child", a true African proverb and a concept that I know will not be lost with this family. I felt incredibly honored to have sat in the court room with this family, their friends, and fellow adoption workers as we witnessed the moment a child was an orphan no more. I witnessed pure love today in the form of adoption and it was simply beautiful.

I will never forget this adoption and this family whose special day I was so privileged to be a part of. It's moments like this that make the challenges of adoption and stress of the social work profession all worth it :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

We're now certified to become parents. Or so we'd like to think. We completed our final birthing class on Saturday and received a nice little certificate saying we successfully learned everything we need to know to have this baby. Or so we'd like to think. Either way, we're more prepared for birth and newborn care and we're getting more and more excited (and admittedly anxious) with each passing week. To top it off, Wisconsin got its first snowfall this weekend which made it officially feel more like winter...meaning her due date feels that much more close.

How Far Along: 29 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Same old, same old....exhaustion, leg cramps, hip pain, inability to sleep, and forgetfulness. I'm officially at the point where I cannot tie my shoes and shaving my legs is nearly impossible. I tend to be more clumsy these days, dropping things all day long, and it's nearly impossible to bend over comfortably. Thankfully, I don't even have to ask Dave to pick up things off the floor anymore - he's so good to me. I'm especially moody these days. One minute I'm happy and the next, well Dave will tell you the littlest thing will just send me over the edge. He was so happy to hear in our birthing class that those mood swings don't go away for quite some time after birth. Here he thought my hormones would go back to normal after having the baby. Poor guy :)

Nursery Progress: She has furniture! And curtains! But that's about it. We are so thankful to my parents who spent their Sunday helping us pick up our nursery furniture and who stayed to help get it assembled. I knew that I wouldn't be of much use to Dave when it came to setting up the crib so my Dad stuck around to help. They did a fabulous job and her room is slowly coming together. Remember last week when I said how disappointed I was that they didn't have our furniture in white? Well I'm glad they didn't because the Espresso-colored furniture looks so absolutely perfect with the light pink walls and white woodwork. We found a beautiful, inexpensive rocking chair at Target that my parents decided to purchase for me as an early birthday present and we can't wait for it to be delivered. Her room is finally starting to come together...just a few accessories to soften it up a little and prepare it for practical use and we'll be ready for baby!

Food Cravings: Chocolate chip pancakes. Thankfully, the hubby makes killer pancakes and the past few Sunday mornings he has so graciously dragged his butt out of bed to make me a delicious breakfast. I'm enjoying fruit recently, especially organic oranges and clementines. I still love pasta and bread and cannot seem to get enough milk and cheese!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Besides getting her crib put together and the fact that her room is starting to look more like a nursery, the best moment of the week was finally being able to distinguish her feet and hands with her movements. She's been moving a lot for quite a few weeks now but until this week, her movements were rather random and it she turned so often it was hard to tell what body part was where. This week we've felt some strong kicks and I've even noticed a tiny foot on my belly. Today she gave me a strong kick when I poked her little foot and she attempts to high-five Dave when he asks real nice :)

The Big Three

Throughout this pregnancy there are three things that people consistently either comment on or ask me about. Chances are, if we've talked in the past seven months, you've probably been among those people. I'm sure many women get these questions while pregnant so I thought I'd share what "the big three" are and how I usually answer.

Number One: "You're still so tiny!"

I get this one A LOT! In fact, I still get shocked looks when I mention being pregnant to people I have never met before. Now I completely understand that most people don't like to assume that a woman is pregnant for fear of insulting them if they are in fact not but common, I'm seven months pregnant and have what appears to be a basketball protruding from my stomach. The rest of my body has remained the same. It's pretty obvious that I'm not just gaining a little weight in my mid-section these days. Once people get over the shock of me telling them how far along I am, they usually ask what my secret is to keeping my belly small. I wish I could take all the credit here but the truth is, it all has to do with my body structure. I have a very long torso and my doctor says that being long and lean means baby has more room to grow vertically instead of outwards, resulting in that unusually large baby bump that some women get. She also said that since I continue to exercise daily and haven't been over-indulging in sweet cravings or "eating for two" as most pregnant women often do, I'm not gaining any unnecessary weight. Only what baby needs to live comfortably in there. While I used to get upset or offended when people made this comment, now I just laugh and remind myself that maybe that means it'll be easier to get back to my pre-baby weight a little quicker than usual. A girl can dream, can't she?

Number Two: "Do you have a name picked out?"

The answer is simple. Yes. We actually had her name picked out very early in the pregnancy, before we even found out she was a girl. The part of answering this question that most people don't like is when I say we aren't telling anyone until after she's born. I learned quickly during our first pregnancy, and even early in this one, that people have an opinion about everything, especially baby names. I remember sharing a few names from our list with family and friends during our last pregnancy and people's reactions astonished me - they would tell us it reminded them of someone famous or someone they knew, they'd make a weird face, or they'd ask where in the world we came up with that one. While we settled on a name early on, I still hesitated to call her by her name (and still do at times) because I know how easily I can change my mind. Dave, on the other hand, calls her by her name daily and she actually responds to him regularly. I feel like at this point there's no turning back without confusing the poor baby what her name is. I will say that a few days ago I was watching the Today show when someone from Baby Center came on to announce the top baby names of 2010. While we knew our baby's name (both first and middle) were among the top 100, I was floored to see just how high her name debuted on the list and immediately felt disappointed. While it's flattering that so many other people find her name just as beautiful, I felt myself wondering if it was wrong to give her such a popular name. Would she always have her last initial tacked onto the end of her name to distinguish her from the others with her name? Would she feel cheated of an original, unique name? Was it selfish to give her such a popular name just because we loved it so much and think it's absolutely perfect for her? I'm sure I'll continue to ponder these things for the next 11 weeks or so but at this point, I just can't imagine her being called anything else. Guess you'll all have to wait in suspense for a few more weeks to find out the full answer to this question.

Number Three: "Are you going to go back to work full-time after having the baby?"

I hate this question. Mostly because I hate the answer. Yes, I am going to be returning to work full-time after having the baby. And it breaks my heart. She already has my heart wrapped around her little fingers. I've mentioned before how difficult it was to determine what our childcare would look like when Dave and I have to go back to work after she's born. I still feel an overwhelming amount of guilt for having to go back to work but I do know that in the end, it is what is best for her and our family. I've worked hard to get my Master's degree and have a career that is rewarding for both me and the children and families I work with. Adoption is my passion and I am excited to started a career as an Adoption Social Worker. And our family, at this point in time, works best with two incomes. I do know, however, that I would ideally like to work part-time in the near future. Eventually, especially after having our second child, I would like to stay home full-time until our children are all in school. The beautiful part of having a Master's degree in Social Work is that the profession is flexible and there are many career paths within Social Work. I could continue to work part-time in Child Welfare, work as an independent Adoption Consultant, or take a few years off before jumping back in. While I know that working with a new baby is going to be incredibly challenging for me personally, I think it's the guilt of leaving her with someone other than me or Dave that gets to me the most. Children do best with their biological families - this is what I hear on a daily basis working with foster and adoptive families. Of course we'll have our set way of raising her - our schedule, values, rules, and norms - and these are things that everyone else will do just a bit different. I would prefer she's with me or Dave at all times but I trust that our childcare facility and my mom (her two primary caregivers aside from us) will not only respect our way of parenting and provide consistency for her, they will provide great, quality care, learning, and plenty of love for her.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Week 27


Week 28 (and a sneak-peak at our Christmas tree


I had been doing so well with posting during each week of our pregnancy until last week. I kept reminding myself to do it but somehow the week just got away from me...I'm blaming Thanksgiving, work, and exhaustion for that one :)

Anyways, here we are officially in the third trimester in our twenty-eight week. That means just 12 short weeks left. Dave's convinced she'll come early but I'm still thinking she'll be within a few days of her due date (February 20). The third trimester is starting to feel a lot like the first - more about that later.

How Far Along: 28 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The nausea has returned although it is much more manageable than the first trimester. At this point, I can control the nausea with food which means I am eating all day and all night. Which also means that I'm back to not sleeping much. Between having to get up to pee or eat every hour or two and the uncomfortable leg and hip pains, my sleep is rather interrupted these days, leaving me feeling incredibly exhausted in the morning. Baby girl has quite a regular pattern developing and it's been consistently the past three weeks. She's sure to let me know when she's ready for more food or for me to be awake, usually waking me for good between 2 and 3am. This means I try to get to bed as early as possible so that I can get a couple hours of sleep in. If this is anything how motherhood will be, I think my body will be conditioned quite nicely.

Food Cravings: I experienced a miracle in the food department this week - cravings for raw veggies. Yes, V-E-G-G-I-E-S!!! Crunchy, raw veggies with veggie dip. I am the first to admit that I dislike most vegetables so I took this cravings and ran with it. Unfortunately, this was a rather short-lived craving. I still can't get enough cheese and milk these days, though.

Nursery Progress: We have furniture! Well, we technically purchased furniture but it's waiting at the store until next weekend when my parents can bring their handy pick-up truck to help with the transporting. I plan to do an entire post dedicated to her nursery once it's finished but for now, I'll tell you that I had to make some compromises when it came to her furniture. I had this great vision of white for her room - all the woodwork is white, there's a white chair rail around the middle, the windows are white...I planned to do white furniture and accent with pinks, orange, and green. Dave and I initially picked out our furniture when I was just 12 weeks pregnant but ended up finding it a bit cheaper at a new store that recently opened. I guess we thought we'd have more time than we actually had because it turns out baby stores don't really keep furniture in stock in all the color options, despite the fact that their display signs suggest otherwise. When we went to purchase her crib and changer/dresser combo on Sunday, we learned it would take 12 weeks for the envisioned white furniture to arrive. You do the math. I wasn't ready to gamble with the fact that our daughter may arrive without any furniture. I'm a planner and I knew I'd want her room all set and ready, clothes neatly in place. So I settled for the espresso color. I sulked for a bit and got angry with myself for not asking about what they had in stock sooner but in the end, furniture is furniture and her room will still be beautiful. And she really won't know the difference. The best part is we got an amazing deal on the furniture, spending less than we anticipated and staying within the amount that my parents so graciously gave us. Lesson learned in all of this: plan far, far ahead if you're purchasing baby furniture. It's an expensive purchase that should be well though-out in terms of safety and durability, but in the end, it's better to purchase earlier rather than later.

Pregnancy Dream of the Week: Last week I had a crazy dream that I was having coffee with Michelle Obama and her daughters in Milwaukee's Third Ward. Dave's boss was also there which to me was more weird than Michelle Obama being in the dream. I have no recollection of what we talked about or any other part of the dream but it was rather odd. I did have another dream about baby girl being born... this time I was at the hospital and my friend from high school, Kendall, was also their giving birth (although she didn't know she was pregnant). As long as these dreams don't become nightmares, I am rather content with thinking about her birth.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: We had our first birthing class during the 27th week (with our final one being next Saturday). I was so incredibly anxious about these classes. I know they are meant to help ease some anxieties about giving birth but for me, it only provoked my anxieties. Thankfully, the instructor was fabulous and a friend of my mom and she really helped normalize the anxieties and fears all of us soon-to-be moms were feeling. This turned out to be one of the best parts of the pregnancy and made me even more excited for her birth. We learned all about the birthing process, what to expect, relaxation techniques, and took a tour of the birthing center. In our next class, we'll go over newborn care which I'm really looking forward to Dave learning... especially if it involves learning how to change a diaper :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

How Far Along: 26 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Constipation and hemorrhoids. Dave says to leave it at that. I pride myself on being completely honest about pregnancy and well, admitting to that is about as honest as it gets. Sorry to get personal on you but I couldn't paint an accurate description of pregnancy at this point without pointing out those two lovely side effects that come along with pregnancy. There is no shame in my game here, people.

Food Cravings: Cheese. Milk. Fresh bagels. French fries. Chocolate shakes.

Nursery Progress: Dave re-painted baby girl's room this weekend and it turned out beautifully! For those who don't know, pregnant women can be very indecisive (surprise, surprise!). We originally painted her room back at the end of September. We picked out the paint on a weekend I was sick which was the first mistake - all I wanted was to get out of the paint store and into my PJ's at home. The second mistake - letting my husband finish painting the entire room before figuring out that the color was just too pink. I like to describe the original color as "Pepto-Bismal throw-up". It literally looked like the stuff exploded on the walls. Well, after that I decided to pick out a few samples and paint them on the walls for a good month just to be sure I was making the right decision this time. I am completely satisfied with the new color and am looking forward to moving forward in the decorating process.

Pregnancy Dream of the Week: I'm adding this category because I have been having the most vivid dreams while pregnant. In fact, for the past few months, I've died in my sleep every single night. I suppose someone could tell me some meaning behind this but I think I'd rather not know. Usually I wake up after each dream and there tend to be several each night. Last night, I dreamt that our baby was born. She arrived 13 weeks early (just a week from today), she weighed about two pounds, and she had the loudest set of lungs I've ever heard. She was completely healthy and we took her home just a couple of weeks after she was born. It was so vivid - I remember that the birth was painless (clearly a dream) and that I held her for hours just staring in awe of how tiny she was. I'm praying this is one dream that doesn't come true because I'm certain she's not quite ready to come out yet.

My "Crazy Pregnant Woman" Moment of the Week: I'm adding this category for Dave because he will tell you that pregnancy makes women crazy. Or maybe just me. Either way, I tend to have at least one crazy pregnant woman moment a week and yesterday was no exception. While attempting to make dinner last night, I managed to knock over an entire large-sized can of tomato soup as I was reaching for a spoon to stir the ground turkey browning on the stove top. No big deal, right? Maybe to a non-hormonal pregnant woman. I lost it. The tomato soup ran all over the counter, onto my clean white stove, in the little crack between the counter and the stove top, all over my utensil holder...it was a tomato mess in my kitchen. I began grabbing paper towels as the meat started to burn a little and the tears began to well in my eyes. Then they began to flow. And then I began to yell at the soup. And the meat. And the hubby. And then I cried a good cry and declared we weren't eating dinner that night. I Went to our bedroom and had a good two minute, two-year-old tantrum before emerging. I headed back to the kitchen where the hubby had already cleaned up the soup mess and calmed the burning meat. Yes, only a pregnant woman would go crazy over spilled tomato soup.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Shopping for adorable baby girl clothes. I've been doing good at not splurging every time I head to the store. This week, I had planned to meet up with my good friend (and grad school roommate) Kelsey for lunch and shopping at the outlet mall in Johnson Creek. I'd say it was a successful shopping trip because I came home with lots of new outfits for baby girl (and a few maternity things for me). And not only that, but I got to spend quality time with "Aunt Kelsey" as she'll be known to baby girl - she went to all the baby stores with me, picked out the cutest outfits, and reminded me why we've been friends since the fifth grade. Thank you Kelsey for a fabulous day! I can't wait to dress baby girl in the cute clothes you helped pick out :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Twenty-five weeks. That sounds like so many to me. Especially when I think about how that means we only have 15 weeks left, maybe even less (hopefully not more). Eeeks. We've got lots to do before baby girl's arrival.

I've had so many random pregnancy-related thoughts on my mind these days so I'm dedicating this week's post to getting them out on (cyber) paper.

My first random thought: people don't really want to hear about your pregnancy. I take this one with a grain of salt. I know that there are people who are genuinely interested in the fact that we're about to become parents but I'm learning that I must tread lightly when it comes to this topic. I realize that while pregnancy consumes nearly every aspect of my daily life these days, I do need to function as a regular adult to the outside world. I tend to only discuss my pregnancy when asked, especially by co-workers or friends and at that, I always feel like I need to be aware of cues as to when enough is enough and it's time to move onto the next topic. This week I've been especially thankful to talk with two close friends who really did show an interest in the fact that we're about to become parents and they let me dwell on this for a while in our conversations (thank you Kate and Kelly!). This brings me to another related thought: it would be nice to have friends who are pregnant at the same time as me. I struggle with being at the age that I'm at because so many of my friends are in such different places in their lives. I have just a few who are married, one with a young daughter, a few in serious relationships, and many more who as single as can be. If you would've asked me in high school what life would look like mid-twenties, I would've guessed we'd all be married and having our first babies. At the same time, of course. Sometimes I wish I had girlfriends I could call who remembered what it was like to be pregnant, who could tell me what to expect as a new mom, and provide me with that sense of sisterhood that I see so many moms sharing with one another.

Random thought numero dos: nobody can adequately prepare you for pregnancy or motherhood. Especially not that What to Expect When Expecting book (the worst pregnancy book out there in my opinion). There are so many changes happening to me physically and emotionally that weren't in those little books or emails I've been reading. And nobody could really prepare me for the pure exhaustion I am feeling at this point. I was telling a friend tonight how I really do feel like a 90 year old woman these days - I could nap all day and my joints ache like they've been put to good use all those years. And motherhood, well that's one I'm still trying to figure out. I've been having so many vivid dreams about our daughter and even our other future children (we always have three girls and one boy, surprisingly). I pray they don't grow as fast as parents always say they do because my dreams already have our oldest daughter getting married and well, I'm thinking I'll already have a hard enough time watching her grow from newborn to infant to toddler.

Thought number three: pregnant women aren't really all that nice to one another. I thought that when you became pregnant you joined this elite little group of women who could talk cravings, nausea, and babies all day long. My experiences lately are telling me that I was quite wrong on this one. Some pregnant women give what feels like the evil eye, or even worse, a complete stare-down. I am completely weirded out when people stare at my stomach as if trying to decipher if I'm just packing on a few pounds or not, but pregnant women stare in a way that makes me feel like I'm being judged - from the size of my belly to the clothes that cover it. Enough said on this one.

Oh how so many more random thoughts come to mind while just writing this, which is quite ironic considering I can't remember anything that I want or need to when I must. I think pregnancy brain is actually quite legitimate and I intend to continue to use it as my excuse for my forgetfulness for as long as I can :)

Onto week twenty-six...

Why the Rush?

Am I the only person who finds it absolutely crazy that stores are already in full Christmas mode? Not only that, but I'm starting to hear Christmas music on the radio and I'm already being asked for my Christmas list. The hustle and bustle of the holiday season isn't just upon us - it appears that it has already arrived, and in full-swing. This absolutely disgusts me. I feel like Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year and nothing drives me more crazy than those people who get all their Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving has even come and gone. Why the rush? Since when did we just skip over the importance of Thanksgiving? Since when did Christmas become all about gifts and finding the best sales with the best coupons?

Maybe I haven't noticed this as much in the past but this year I am especially struggling with the way that society changes the true meaning of Christmas. I hate that I'm asked to tell people what I want so that they can go purchase those exact items. What happened to finding that perfect gift for someone? A gift that is thought-felt and truly special? I can tell you, it isn't nearly as much fun to take a list to the store - a list with exact sizes, colors, and brands already spelled out for me. And to be quite honest, it isn't as much fun to know everything you're going to be getting for Christmas. Sometimes I want to throw up my hands and say, "time out!!" Why must we buy gifts anyways? Why can't we spend time together... share a home-cooked meal... spend a few minutes reflecting on the true, real meaning of Christmas?

I look forward to how much holidays will change when our daughter is here. I don't want Christmas or birthdays or any other holiday to be about gifts - in fact, I don't want her to grow up equating special events like the holidays with presents. I want her to understand the significance of these days and why we celebrate them in the first place. I hope when our daughter thinks of Christmas she thinks of Jesus before Santa. I hope she thinks of baking cookies with her grandma instead of what gift she'll get to open on Christmas eve. I hope she opens her mouth to sing Christmas carols rather than spew out her Christmas list. Oh how the holidays will change with a little one around! I look foward to starting new traditions, celebrating as a family of three, and really reflecting on what holidays are meant for: family, fellowship, and food.

I'm praying the world and people around me will slow down a little. Let's focus on the turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and what we're thankful for first before getting caught up in society's overplayed hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

Remembering the GOD in Godparents

While chatting with some fellow co-workers today we came upon the subject of religion and then eventually that of Godparents and the role of baptism. While I understand religion is a very personal thing for most, I usually enjoy sharing my faith journey with others and hearing about what God has done in their lives. Today, I suddenly found myself in a very uncomfortable position as I was caught in a conversation with those who didn't have a relationship with God. Sitting among people who openly reject God in their lives is never easy or comfortable for me. But when our conversation turned to the role of Godparents, I found my comfort level dropping even further.

During our conversation, one person suggested that being a Godparent has nothing to do with religion or faith. In fact, she pointed out that she fulfills the role of Godmother and also happens to be an atheist. Another suggested that a Godparent is simply someone who you want to take care of your kids if something happens to you. One person shared how she was never baptized and another suggested that baptism is simply a product of the days when babies were baptized for the sake of avoiding death by the plague. As a Christian, my views on both of these subjects are quite different. In fact, these are two things that Dave and I have been discussing recently in preparation of our daughter's birth.

To us, Godparents are more than just people who we want to take care of our child if something happens to us. In fact, we see the role as quite different than that. God-forbid something were to happen to both Dave and I, the people we have chosen to be Godparents to our daughter will not be the same people who assume legal guardianship of her. Rather, we have chosen two people to be Godparents because to us, this role does in fact have everything to do with faith and religion. We want to keep the "God" part of the role at the forefront. I've had this discussion with others before and Dave and I talked about it extensively as well. Would we pick our siblings or cousins to be Godparents simply because they are family? I know many people do this but for us, we really had to look beyond that. We knew we wanted to choose people who would serve as strong examples of what it means to live a Christian life. By this, we don't mean people who simply attend church regularly or profess God as their Father. We looked at our own lives and the values we want to instill in our daughter and wanted the people we chose as Godparents to reflect those values as well. To us, these people were those who truly lived as Christian men and women on a daily basis. They are people who have encouraged us in our faith journeys and who we know will teach our daughter strong Christian values. These will be people our daughter can turn to when she may be struggling with matters of faith throughout her life. They will provide her with guidance and love in the same way that Dave and I will. The people we have chosen to fulfill this special role have shared in the joyous, special occasions in our lives. They have watched us grow and have continued to support us as Christian husband and wife. That is what a Godparent means to us. I cannot imagine simply selecting someone to fulfill this very special role in our daughter's life simply because we like them or because they share our blood.

I know people will begin to ask who we've chosen as baby's Godparents but at this time we're not able to say. We haven't actually asked either person just yet. When we do, we hope that they'll consider what we're asking of them and truly accept that role as we intend and pray that it will be in our daughter's life. I simply wanted to share my thoughts on this topic while it was on my mind today.

I'm curious what other new parents feel about the role of Godparents in their children's' lives. What do others feel the role of Godparents should be and how have they selected the people that will fulfill these roles?

Weekly Pregnancy Post

If my lack of blogging and delay in writing this weekly pregnancy post aren't enough of an idication on how pregnancy is treating me these days, then let me be frank with you - the energy is majorly lacking. And by majorly lacking I mean basically nonexistent. Between work and keeping up with the cleaning and other household responsibilities, I don't have much energy at the end of the night to do much more than head the gym and then perch myself on the couch until I fall asleep at a nice early hour. There are so many more things I intend to blog about each week but putting up my feet and taking a nap always sounds like much better option than heading to the computer. So I apologize for the boringness that this blog has become. For those still following our pregnancy journey, I hope these weekly posts are satisfying your curiosity for now.

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: Exhaustion. Round ligament pains in the belly (yes, it's growing slowly but surely). Continuous leg and hip pain - we discussed this with my doctor at tonight's visit and she said unfortunately, there isn't much that can help with this. She suggested getting more potassium in foods such as tomatoes but I would much rather suffer some leg pain that eat a tomato. She said that as long as I continue to eat bananas, get enough calcium, and stretch when exercising, I should be able to minimize the pain. Her other suggestion was to delivery the baby but she was quick to point out that really isn't an option at this point... thanks Doc.

Food Cravings: Cheese. The craving is officially back, mostly in the form of string cheese, cheese and crackers, and cheese-flavored crackers. This week I really craved ham so I made a delicious turkey ham that satisfied the craving for three whole days. I continue to bribe baby girl to move with a little piece of chocolate each day and it never fails... and it always makes me a happy lady as well.

What I Miss Most: Sleeping through the night. Early in the pregnancy I had insomnia and wasn't sleeping well. For the past 10 weeks or so, I've finally gotten back on a pretty good sleeping schedule. I had been falling asleep early and staying asleep most of the night except for a trip or two the the bathroom (thanks to growing baby situated on the bladder). Now baby girl is developing a more regular schedule of movement which is contributing to my lack of sleep. She always wakes me at 3am and 6am to remind me that she's hungry and that she's wide awake. I usually spend the remainder of the night tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position that doesn't aggravate the hip and leg pain. Thank goodness for body pillows - they are a pregnancy lifesaver. Unfortunately, our bed isn't big enough for the four of us (yes, I consider the body pillow a person given the amount of space it takes up). When Dave was away on business last week, I slept so much better, probably because I got the whole bed to myself to spread out in. He may just have to start sleeping on the couch soon don't you all think?? :)

Maternity Clothes: I'm managing with what I've got. And thanks to my mom, I've got a few more sweaters to keep me warm. She let me dig in her closet for some longer sweaters that tie or zip that fit perfectly over a maternity shirt when left open. I suppose it's a good thing that the belly is growing slowly because I can still wear a few of my non-pregnancy sweaters from last year - I'm hoping to get by with this for a few more weeks yet.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Registering for baby. This is a daunting task but it makes the pregnancy seem even more real and helped us narrow down our Christmas lists since our families are already asking (it's wayyyy too soon for us to think about Christmas but we know we'd rather have things for baby than ourselves this year). Dave says the best part this week was our 24 week appointment where we got to hear baby's heartbeat again. We're always amazed at how strong and clear her heartbeat is - it's a miracle to hear her tiny heart beating inside of me and it never ceases to amaze us.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

How Far Along: 23 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: There are so many things about pregnancy that I wasn't aware of until recently. Like nosebleeds - I don't recall ever having one in my life until this past week when a regular old sneeze led to a nose bleed. After further research, I realized this is actually quite common during pregnancy. I also didn't realize that my feet could actually grow. I was aware of foot swelling during pregnancy but my feet have grown a good half size larger. All my shoes are too tight and I come home from work begging Dave for a foot rub - to which he usually obliges and during which I usually laugh hysterically from how much it tickles. I was told that my feet wouldn't magically shrink back that half size after I have the baby but I'm still holding out hope that maybe it's just some swelling that's making them feel longer. I love buying shoes as much as the next girl but not if my feet are going to go back to their regular size in a few months. I'm still having awful leg and hip pains that only seem to get worse each week. They are making sleep impossible and incredibly uncomfortable.

Food Cravings: Those cheese cravings are slowly finding their way back into my life. I'm careful not to over-indulge in them for fear I may end up really disliking cheese after this pregnancy and I certainly don't want to go that route. I'm still eating lots of bread and pasta and chocolate... oh chocolate! It's my new best friend. Baby loves her some chocolate and it's a sure way to get her moving. I'm good about limiting that each day as well but it's definitely a lot harder to resist while pregnant. The worst craving of the week was Pic N' Save's chocolate chip muffins from the bakery. All week I would tell Dave I wanted one but held out until Friday night's grocery shopping to indulge. Imagine my great shock and disappointment when I head to the bakery only to learn they no longer carry the ones I love and that they've been replaced by these nasty little things. Nothing is worse than a craving that cannot be satisfied. If you've ever been pregnant, you can appreciate my pain on this one :)

What I Love Most about Being Pregnant: Instead of a "what I miss" this week I thought I'd share what I love the most about being pregnant right now and that is feeling her move. In the past week alone her movements have really intensified and she's developing a more regular pattern. She wakes me up nice and early with her kicks, usually to tell me it's time to eat. I have a feeling this will be a familiar pattern come February. Dave has been enjoying feeling her kicks as well now that they are getting stronger. This week we started reading to her and playing music for her to really get her going. It is so amazing to think that those tiny movements I feel inside me are coming from my daughter.

Maternity Clothes: I hate maternity clothes. I started out appreciating their comfortability - and by that I mean no buttons and lots of elastic. As my belly is growing, I realize just how uncomfortable they can be. The butt on my pants is always saggy and shirts just still aren't long enough since I started with a long torso to begin with. And the selection is just pitiful, at least at all reasonably-priced stores like Kohls and Target. And since I cannot justifying spending $100 on a pair of pants at Gap Maternity that I'll only wear for a few short months, I have no choice but to pull on those frumpy, saggy pants. So yes, you'll likely see me in the same few outfits and I make no apologies.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Buying baby the most adorable designer clothes at 65% off. My mom's friend Amy and her daughter invited us to this fabulous designer warehouse sale in Milwaukee's Third Ward today and I am so glad we went! They had the most beautiful dresses for little girls... clothes that I would never have been able to afford or even dare to buy for a baby unless they were on sale like they were today. I wish I had taken pictures before mom hijacked them to show the ladies at her work. Mom bought her this beautiful long, wool, pink and black pea coat for next winter, when she's closer to a year old. The best part was the price - only $45 for a $250 coat! Baby girl is going to be styling. We bought lots of beautiful dresses for the upcoming year, too. It was so much fun picking out special stuff for her - stuff that's just a little bit nicer than the rest of her wardrobe. It's always nice to find unique baby clothes.

Weekly Pregnancy Post

Twenty-two weeks. 22 just so happens to be my favorite number, too. While I wouldn't mind if she decided to make her debut a week or two early, I think 2/22 would be a good birthday for baby girl. If she decided to arrive on my birthday I wouldn't object either :)

This post will take on a little different format. I feel like I've hit the point in the pregnancy where I've really begun to process the fact that in 18 weeks (give or take) I'll have a daughter. Dave and I will become entirely responsible for the well-being of a little human being. Everything we do - every decision we make - will impact her life. Talk about responsibility. These are things that we talked about before we even decided to have a baby but suddenly, when you become pregnant and you watch this tiny life grow inside of you, the future becomes so much more real.

We've been spending time talking about our hopes and dreams for our daughter. We talk about the values we hope to instill in her, the type of parents we hope to be, and what we think her future might look like. We reflect on our own childhoods - what were our favorite parts? What did our parents do while raising us that we will or won't do? What family traditions will we have? I enjoy thinking about all the things I hope to do with my own daughter. I think about my relationship with my mother and how thankful I am to have her as one my best friends. I look forward to watching her relationship with my daughter grow, too - I think she'll be the most wonderful grandmother and I know she'll share an extra special bond with her the way that only grandmothers can.

This week I've realized that pregnancy has heightened my sensitivity towards others, especially the poor and lonely. The homeless man in the park who watches as Dave and I enjoy our lunch on a nearby picnic table; the elderly lady behind me at the grocery store who didn't have the money to pay for her bread and potatoes; the woman who sat alone in front of me on a Saturday night at the movie theater - each of them broke me in a way that was different than before. The hormones have also instilled some crazy emotions and fears in me. I worry now more than ever before that something is going to happen to Dave, leaving me alone with a baby and leaving our daughter without a father. I suppose these are all normal parts of pregnancy but this week I've noticed them more than others.

My favorite part of this past week was hearing people say that I finally looked pregnant. Not just on one day, in a particular outfit, but every day. For weeks people have been telling me that I just don't look too pregnant yet - that sometimes if I wore the right shirt, you could maybe make out a baby bump. I hated that in-between phase. But this week, the baby bump just grew and grew. I told Dave that sometimes I felt like it grew from the time I got dressed in the morning to the time I get ready for bed. It's certainly fun watching the progression and reading about how she's growing in there. And her kicking is really starting to increase. Dave got to feel a few good kicks this week but she still keeps the strong ones just for her mommy.

Week twenty-two. I'm so happy we're more than half-way to meeting our daughter.

A Calling

So many people have asked me over the past few weeks how my new job is going. I never really know how to answer that question - partly because I'm still in training and partly because I just don't know how to answer that question. In the past month of the new job, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, confused, unsure, and surprised. The job I thought I was getting into is actually quite different than what I thought it would be and the adoption world I am joining is very very different than the one that I am familiar with. While all that is true, it doesn't mean that I don't, or will not, like the job and that I won't do well in it. In fact, the more I learn each day about the job and about Child Welfare, the more the uncertainty, confusion, and overwhelming feelings fade. You see, while I work for a private Child Welfare agency, I am working with the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare - the State's Child Welfare institution. In essence, while I am working for a private agency, I am not working in the area of private adoptions. All of the children I will work with will be Milwaukee County foster children - they are children with special needs, children with significant issues (mostly behavioral), and children who likely have a long history in the child welfare system. It can be incredibly difficult to find adoptive families for these children, especially the older children. The process for adopting these children is also very different than what I am used to. While there are homestudies and licensing regulations, most families work with the biological families prior to the adoption - they may first be foster parents and have a series of visits with the children prior to determining if adoption is a good fit. It is a complex process and system that I am learning so much about.

So what made me so unsure and confused in the beginning? I always said I didn't want to work for the Bureau. I never wanted to work in Child Protective Services. And I certainly never wanted to detain children... I don't want to be responsible for physically taking a child from their parents. A part of the training that I am completing for this new job is a 12 week academy through the Bureau. I am training with people who will in fact be the social workers responsible for detaining children, social workers who will serve as ongoing case managers, and those who will work on creating safety plans so that children can remain with their biological children after abuse or maltreatment takes place. These first few weeks I've found my personal views on child welfare being challenged - my personal opinions on what should happen to a child or parent when abuse or neglect takes place at times contradict what I am being told I must profesionally value. You can imagine how difficult it is to manage conflicting personal and professional values... especially those that challenge my religious beliefs.

This past Sunday our pastor shared a sermon as a part of our Discovering Transformation series. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. He spoke about work and how we're gifted by God to work. That work is done, should be done, to honor God. We really have three ways to look at our work: as a job, as a career, or as a calling. We can decide to work because we need to have a job to pay the bills and support our families. We can have a career that focuses on our personal accomplishments and growth within a job. Or we can consider our work our calling - a gift from God that challenges us to partner with Him to make a difference in the world. When I took this new job, I think I first thought of it as just a job. We were having a baby and I knew that we would need two incomes to be able to provide for her basic needs. Then I began to think of it as the start to my career - here I was turning my personal passion into my career. I saw this job as a starting point to eventually working in the area of private international adoptions (and yes, I still do hope to eventually work for a Christian, private adoption agency that specializes in international adoptions). What I didn't realize was that this is truly my calling and I need to change my frame of mind to really see it that way. While I am certainly providing for my family and furthering my career, first and foremost, I am making a difference. I am using the passion, gifts, and opportunities that God has given me to make a difference in the lives of children who need and deserve loving, forever families. I am literally following his command to care for orphans and defend the cause of the fatherless. I am blessed to have the opportunity to answer His call - to walk hand in hand with Him to change the lives of children and families in my own community. I think God knew I needed that reassurance and comfort on Sunday about my work as an Adoption Social Worker. I needed to know that He really needs me to wake up each morning and head to my job because if I didn't, His work just wouldn't be complete.

While I still have much to learn about the logistics and realities of my job and child welfare in general, I am feeling much more confident and excited about my new position. I know I will continue to struggle with some of the professional and personal beliefs in relation to this position, I am approaching them with an open mind and am being flexible about my need to be open to change. While I know this isn't the position I'll be in forever, it is the perfect position for me at this point in my life. It also happens to be the position God needed to put me in to be His partner in this world.

So, if in the past few weeks you've asked me how the new job is going and I haven't really answered, go ahead and ask me again. I may just have a different answer :)

Fall

Dave and I just had to get out and enjoy the beautiful, unseasonably-warm Wisconsin weather this weekend so we headed to Harrington Beach State Park for some hiking. There was a beautiful old quarry lake filled with families enjoying picnic lunches and lots of kids fishing. We took to the trail around the quarry and enjoyed some of the changing leaves along the way - unfortunately, since we were right along Lake Michigan, some of the trees had already changed over and lost all their leaves but it was still beautiful! While we were there we both kept saying how much fun it will be next summer and fall when we can take baby girl hiking with us. Until then, we're enjoying our little family of two :)

Weekly Pregnancy Post

I've been terrible at blogging during the week and even though I promised this blog wouldn't turn into everything baby related, it has. I suppose that has something to do with the excitement factor in our lives these days - it all centers around baby. I promise I'll catch up with a few other posts this week but for now, here's the weekly pregnancy post.



How Far Along: 21 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: This was a good week. I'm slowly getting over the cold and starting to feel more energized. My biggest complaint is still the pains I'm feeling in my hips, tailbone, and legs. The leg cramps themselves haven't been as bad since I'm getting more potassium and staying hydrated, but I did wake up screaming with a charlie horse in my calf the other night - thankfully Dave rubbed it out and let me cry in pain for a while (sound familiar, Safi?).

Cravings: Chocolate and cheeseburgers. No, not together, thankfully. I haven't been eating much meat during this pregnancy but randomly craved a cheeseburger the other day. The hubby was happy to fire up the grill and cook up some burgers and they were delicious! Baby girl also has grown to love chocolate and this mom-to-be isn't complaining one bit. I keep the indulgences to a minimum (most days) but chocolate is a sure way to get her moving these days. I'm praying the chocolate doesn't have a lasting effect into her toddler years :)

Maternity Clothes: I hate that Wisconsin can't seem to decide if it wants to be fall or summer. It's been unseasonably warm recently which makes dressing a bit of challenge since I didn't need to purchase any summer maternity clothes. All my pants are either for work or winter - it's no fun wearing cords when it's 80 degrees outside. Same goes for my tops. The short-sleeved shirts are getting just a bit too short. I never thought I'd say this but I'm ready for winter. I'm ready pull on my warm maternity cords and sweaters and be comfortable. I finally gave in and bought two more pairs of work pants and a couple shirts... I think I'm good to go for a while now. I'm enjoying buying baby clothes far more than maternity clothes anyways!

What I Miss: Nothing in particular this week. I'd say that second trimester honeymoon phase has returned for now - I hope it stays for a while!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Dave got to feel baby girl's kicks for the first time last Sunday night. I have been feeling quite a bit of motion for a while now but nothing strong enough for Dave to feel. We were sitting on the couch enjoying some Sunday-night TV when I felt some pretty strong kicks. I helped Dave's hand navigate around the belly for a while in search of the kicks and sure enough, she gave him some nice strong ones for a good few minutes. I think the only other time I've seen Dave that happy and excited was on our wedding day. I can't wait for her kicks to be even stronger and for her movements to become more regular. Although I must say, since that day Dave hasn't been able to feel many strong kicks again. Baby girl will kick away for me but the second Dave puts his hand there she stops. He talks to her, begging for her to kick but nope - I think she likes to play games with him. She sure is one stubborn little baby already!

Weekly Pregnancy Post

We've officially made it to the half-way point in our pregnancy - that is if she decides to wait the full 40 weeks to make her debut. Some days I feel like this pregnancy is going so fast and others I feel like I've been pregnant forever. I think that has something to do with the miscarriage earlier in the year - in fact, our first baby was due just two weeks ago...I can't believe how fast those nine months came and went. I have a feeling these last 20 weeks will go by quickly as well!

How Far Along: 20 Weeks

Pregnancy Symptoms: The only true pregnancy symptoms these week were some nausea and tiredness. I've apparently come down with a cold and it's true when they say that every symptom while pregnant is magnified. I'm also told that it can take three-times as long to get over a cold which would be just lovely. I was most worried that being sick could harm the baby but the strep tests came back negative and the doctor assured me that she'll be just fine in there. My body is working extra hard these days to keep her safe while I feel miserable but I'm just fine with that... as long as she stays healthy, I can endure a few weeks of sore throats, runny noses, and no sleep. This also explains why I look absolutely terrible in this week's bump picture above - no sleep, a fever, and complete misery make an icky-looking mom-to-be!

Food Cravings: I haven't had many cravings this week... or much of an appetite for that matter. Perhaps that has something to do with being sick. The one thing I did look forward to all week was my mom's homemade beef stew on Saturday night - delicious!! It was just what I needed. And it was nice not to have to prepare it myself. I love that you're never too old to go home :)

What I Miss: Sleeping. I'm back to spending most of my nights tossing and turning or lying on the couch watching infomercials. I'm sure being sick hasn't helped the cause but I find that I'm having terrible hip pain when I'm lying down or sitting for a while which can make sleeping an impossible task. I suppose I'm just preparing for motherhood and those late-night feedings!

Maternity Clothes: I'm managing with just four pairs of maternity pants and a few tops. Some of my regular sweaters and shirts still fit as long as they are long enough. I'm waiting until my belly gets a little bigger because I buy some more pants and shirts because some people have warned me that I may need to go up a size in maternity clothes as I get even further.

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Finding out that we're having a baby girl! And equally as exciting has been looking at cute baby girl clothes. If you know me, you know that I am an incredibly picky person and when it comes to baby stuff, there's so exception. After finding out baby is a girl, we headed to Kohls and Target to look at some summer clearance stuff for next year and some winter stuff but we didn't find much we liked. I just can't help it - I have expensive taste and I'm drawn to Baby Gap like it's a drug. So on Friday night while Dave was at Bayshore having dinner with a friend, I headed to that very heavenly baby store and fantasized for a good hour about owning every item on the shelves. Amazingly, I walked out with only one outfit - and it was all on sale! I found an adorable little onesie that says "I love Daddy" on it and got baby girl her first pair of jeans (dark washed bootcut of course) and a cable-knit sweater. I figured I could justify to Dave my need to buy the outfit for the very fact it was all about daddy... and he agreed :) And this post wouldn't be complete without a picture of it. She's going to be one spoiled little girl. My mom's already given us a couple cute outfits and I have a feeling we'll be visiting the Baby Gap again soon!