Twenty Five Years Later

On Tuesday I will turn twenty-five. Sure, this birthday marks a few milestones in my personal life – I’ll be a quarter of a century old, I can finally rent a car, my car insurance rate will drop (yippie!!), and most significantly, I’ll become a mom. But that’s not what makes this birthday so special. I came to the realization the other day that exactly twenty five years ago my mom was preparing for my birth…she was preparing to become a mom with the birth of her own first child. To some it may seem like an insignificant coincidence but for me it makes this time even more special. Twenty five years ago, my mom was in the very same position that I am now. She was waiting for me to arrive, feeling uncomfortable and swollen, and full of love for her unborn daughter (although she didn’t know I was a girl at the time – they didn’t do ultrasounds back then). I wish I could take a glimpse back in time and watch my mom as she went about her days with me tucked in her belly. I wish I could remember the words she whispered to me and the pleas I’m sure she made for me to come out safely and quickly. I wish I could feel just a minute of her joy the moment I finally arrived.

I don’t think I could have survived this pregnancy without my mom. I’m pretty sure she’s experienced all the emotions, side effects, and anticipation right along with me. It’s almost like her own body has traveled back twenty five years – while her womb may now be empty, I know her heart is just as full as it was when she waited for her own daughter to be born. After our miscarriage, Dave and I decided that we’d wait to tell our families the next time we got pregnant because we saw how hard the loss was on them as well. We wanted to make sure we knew the next pregnancy would be viable first. Well, when the word “pregnant” popped up on that little stick back in June, I called Dave immediately at work and after exchanging a few words of excitement among the tears, he told me to call my mom. He knew I was overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and joy and that I’d need my mom to help get me through the next few weeks. I’m pretty sure I had her work phone number dialed before I even hung up the phone with Dave. And he was right; she really was exactly what I needed over the next few weeks. She validated my fears and calmed my worries. She left work to bring me Gingerale, soup, and crackers when my head hit the toilet. Being pregnant made me realize how much I still need my mom (and undoubtedly, always will, especially as I begin parenting for the first time). Being pregnant reminds me how very much I appreciate her willingness and heart to put others needs first. While Dave was (and continues to be) a wonderful source of support during this pregnancy, nobody can take the place of a mother in a woman’s life as she prepares to become a mother herself. I’m so thankful for the relationship I’ve had with my mom over the past twenty five years and I look forward to how it will continue to grow and change as we step into our new roles as mother and grandmother to my baby girl.

In just a few short days I’ll experience the joy my mom felt twenty five years ago as she became a mom for the first time. I cannot think of a greater birthday gift than that...